Bad Behavior
by Super Chino
Summary: The Cohen family is in for a rude awakening when the newest member of their family, Ryan, sets out to break all the rules. Little does Ryan know, a normal family life may be just what he needs the most.
1. Caged

Okay...so I promised to bring some funny, and I will...but I haven't brought it just yet! LOL! I'm hanging out in the 'Anger Management' department just a little while longer. This is one of those "hypothetical" stories so be prepared to have an open mind. Don't panic, there's nothing horrible here, but I can't help but wonder...."what if" Ryan really was a bad boy? What if he didn't straighten out his act when he came to live with the Cohens? I guess we'll read along and find out...welcome to my version of the 'Dark Side'.

Bad Behavior

Pacing his cell like a caged animal, Ryan couldn't wait to be set free. The problem was, even though he was being released from juvie today, he wasn't going home. A new home and a new life awaited him with his attorney's family. He said he thought Ryan had potential and with the right support he could really do something with his life. Unfortunately for this Good Samaritan, Ryan had no intention of living up to what other people thought he should be. He had no intention of changing his ways and this new family better be prepared to deal with that. Ryan's lips curled into a smile at the thought of the amount of trouble he could cause for the unsuspecting family. The Cohen family would never know what hit them.

Hanging his arms through the cell bars, Ryan stared at the female guard across from him. She was young, new to the facility. Probably right out of the academy, he'd never seen her before. She shifted her weight under his glare, a clear tell to Ryan that he was making her uncomfortable. He liked that control. 'She'll never last,' Ryan thought to himself. His attention was distracted by the opening of the gate at the end of the hall.

The Deputy's voice bellowed through the hallway. "Atwood, Ryan!"

"Here." Ryan's voice was dry and deep, appearing older than his years. He returned his gaze to the uncomfortable guard who seemed to have a hard time looking at him now.

"Come on Atwood. You know the drill." The Deputy waited while Ryan pulled his arms back into the cell and backed away from the gate. Unlocking the gate, "So you think you'll stay out a little longer this time?"

Ryan shrugged, "If I don't come back, who's gonna make sure you're doing your job?"

The Deputy chuckled as he directed Ryan to stand against the wall. Handing Ryan his jacket, he walked him to the lobby where they found Sandy Cohen sitting, waiting.

"Ryan. Good to see you. You ready to go?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

With an exaggerated sigh, "Then I guess I'm ready."

Sandy had his mind made up. He could shape this kid, help him make something out of his life. Show him that life could be whatever he wanted. No one said it would be easy, but no one also told him just how hard it was going to be.

"So Ryan, before we get home, there's just a few things I need to go over with you."

"Here it comes..." Ryan mumbled under his breath.

"I know you're used to doing your own thing, but you're going to be living with three other people now. There are some rules you'll need to abide by."

Taping his finger on his leg, Ryan let Sandy ramble on. This was all a technicality and something he had to sit through since he was trapped in a moving car. In Chino he made his own rules. He sure as hell didn't follow anyone else's and he didn't intend to start now.

Sensing Ryan's tension, Sandy tried to keep the conversation from sounding like a prison sentence. "It's not so bad Ryan, just your basic parents rules, nothing fancy. There's no smoking in this house and of course, drugs and drinking are out of the question. No fighting. No stealing. You'll have a curfew..."

"A curfew?"

Sandy looked at Ryan with a dismayed face, "Of everything I've listed, you're most upset that you have a curfew?"

"Sandy, I don't do curfews," Ryan stated flatly.

"You do now," Sandy retorted, just as flatly. "Look at the bright side, this may not be your version of Disneyland, but it's better than being stuck in juvie."

Clearly agitated, Ryan shot a sideways look at his new warden. "Sounds like a party," he mocked.

Pulling into the driveway, Ryan noticed two people sitting on the front step. Both looked entirely uptight and Ryan could tell they didn't know what to make of him when he got out of the car.

"Ryan, this is my wife, Kirsten, and my son, Seth."

Offering a half nod, Ryan didn't spend much time studying them. He had no desire to get to know them better. And if they knew what was good for them, they'd stay out of his way.

Following Sandy Ryan was pleased to see he'd be on his own in the Pool House. He smiled on the inside knowing he could probably do whatever he wanted out here and they'd have no idea.

It took another fifteen minutes of Sandy's lecturing about life in the Cohen household before Ryan was on his own. It was late. He was tired. He'd see what the day would hold for him tomorrow. Sitting in the dark, he retrieved a pack of cigarettes and his lighter from the pocket on the inside of his jacket. Sandy had spent so much time laying down the rules he forgot to enforce them before leaving Ryan's room. Lighting his cigarette, he took several drags using an empty Coke can as an ashtray. Allowing the smoke to slowly sift through his lips as he exhaled, he looked across the patio at the main house. Through the kitchen window he saw Kirsten Cohen standing at the kitchen sink. Flashbacks of the timid juvie guard crossed Ryan's mind. It wouldn't take much to break her. Just like the guard, she was soft. He always wondered how people like them made it through life.

Finishing his cigarette, he doused it in the Coke can and stretched out across his bed. His eyes felt heavy and within minutes, he was out.

Morning comes quickly in a room with no blinds drawn. Squinting against the brightness, Ryan rolled over and reached for his cigarettes on his night table. Nothing. Raising his head, he forced one eye open to find his pack. Confused, he stared at the table momentarily.

"You can see just fine. They aren't there."

Grinding his teeth at the voice, he rolled back over to find Sandy sitting in his room. No cigarettes and a parent figure on a 'do good' trip was not the way Ryan planned to start his day.

"I told you last night there's no smoking in this house."

Sitting up in the bed, Ryan glared at Sandy. He expected them to be difficult but he really thought it would take longer than this. He didn't expect them to be digging their heels in during the first twenty-four hours.

"You're expected in the house for breakfast."

"I'm not exactly hungry," Ryan grouched, still unhappy about his missing pack of cigarettes.

"Suit yourself. You've got a long day ahead of you. Since we can't trust you to be home alone just yet, you'll be going shopping with Kirsten today."

"Shopping?"

"Yes," Sandy added, standing up at the foot of Ryan's bed. "Shopping. It's one of those activities that women like to do. She mentioned she needed a new suit...oh and some make up I believe."

"Make up?" Ryan was fuming.

"You better get yourself together. Kirsten will be in here any minute. She's ready to leave. Have a good day today. I'll see all of you tonight, for dinner."

Ryan sat speechless on his bed, too pissed off to even look at Sandy as he walked out. While he was still trying to absorb just how awful the day was going to be, Kirsten walked in.

"Okay Ryan, let's get going, we've got quite a bit to do today." Noticing Ryan's less than happy look, she yanked his blanket off in an attempt to get him moving. "Oh it's not going to be that bad. Come on, get up and get dressed."

"I'm a big boy, I can stay here by myself. I'll stay in my room."

"Well, you may very well be a big boy, but your track record proves you're also a bad boy. This is my home. Until you can show me you're going to respect it...this is the way it's going to be. Now get dressed, we're running late." Seating herself in the same chair Sandy was in, Ryan slowly stewed in his own juices.

"I can get dressed by my...."

"I know, I know, you're a big boy. There's the bathroom. Use it, change out of yesterday's clothes and let's go. I have an appointment at Fashion Island."

Ryan fought his demons in an attempt to choose his battles and this morning's events were clearly stacked against him: Team Cohen, 1...Team Atwood, 0.

Sitting on a pink couch outside of the dressing room, Ryan's face couldn't have projected a bigger pout if he tried as Kirsten tried on suit after suit.

"Hang in there son. You're mom is almost done," the sales woman encouraged.

Ryan winced, unsure of exactly what he was wincing at, the saleswoman's voice, the fact that Kirsten was still not finished trying on suits or the fact that the saleswoman referred to Kirsten as his Mom.

"What do you think of this one Ryan?"

"It's fine," Ryan said, clenching his teeth.

"That's what you said about the last one."

"Actually it's what I've thought about the last ten."

Putting her hands on her hips, Kirsten tilted her head and looked at Ryan. "Okay, you've been patient enough. I'll be right out."

After setting several suits aside, Kirsten paid the bill and arranged for the suits to be tailored.

"Okay Ryan, one more errand."

"I can't wait," he offered sarcastically.

A rather lengthy walk found them on the other side of Fashion Island at one of the premiere cosmetic stores. The woman behind the counter was particularly grumpy and seemed to be disgusted with every choice Kirsten made. Ryan found it strange that he noticed himself frustrated by the way the woman treated Kirsten.

Bored to death, he watched Kirsten make choices in foundations, blushes and eye shadows. "Okay, almost done, I need two tubes of lipstick in Plum Frost."

The saleswoman rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time and searched through the drawer of lipsticks. "Do you have to have that color?" she moaned.

Kirsten and Ryan exchanged a look. "Yes. I do. It's what I wear."

Shaking her head, the saleswoman continued to search the drawer while Kirsten turned her interest to some perfume bottles on display. Ryan noticed the sales lady move two tubes of lipstick to the edge of the drawer and then close it, leaving the keys in the lock.

"I'm sorry. We're out of that shade."

"Are you sure? Out of that entire drawer?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. There's none left," she snapped back.

"Then I guess I'm finished. Could you ring these out please?" Walking over to the cash register, Kirsten noticed Ryan bending down looking at something.

"Ryan..."

"Coming."

"So, how did it go today?" Sandy inquired, watching Kirsten plate up dinner.

"It wasn't bad. I expected it to be much worse. I thought he did pretty well. He didn't complain at all. You could only tell he was miserable if you looked at him," Kirsten explained, laughing.

"Oh well that's good."

The only problem I had was at the cosmetic counter and it was with the saleswoman, not Ryan."

"Oh?"

"She was just in a foul mood. I couldn't get my lipstick. Unfortunately for Ryan that means another trip to another store tomorrow."

Sitting on his bed Ryan hung up the phone just as Sandy entered his room.

"Hey kid. How ya doing?"

"Just dandy."

"Dinner's ready if you'd like to come in. We'd love for you to have dinner with us."

Again, Ryan winced. He hadn't had a family life in years and now that someone was offering it to him, it seemed really lame and nothing he wanted to have any part of.

After Sandy went back into the house, Ryan snuck down the driveway to a waiting car and drove away.

All of the Cohens watched the clock tick into the wee hours of the night and there was still no sign of Ryan.

"Do you think he's coming back?" Seth asked, trying to imagine what Ryan might be doing.

"I guess we'll see," Sandy answered looking at the front door again as if Ryan was scheduled to walk in any minute. "If he gets into trouble and the Police pick him up, he'll be back in Juvie in no time. And then he'll be stuck there."

Sandy went upstairs for a bit and Kirsten sat drumming her fingers against her coffee mug as another half hour without Ryan went by. Finally, at 2:30am, lights against the wall signaled a car in the driveway causing Seth and Kirsten to stand up simultaneously.

"Wait, wait," Seth intervened. "Let me get the door. If you jump on him the minute he walks in, he's going to walk right out again. He's not used to answering to people, remember?"

Seth had a point and she knew it. They would wait and see what the situation would bring.

Scuffling outside the door had Seth opening the door with apprehension, unsure of what was waiting for him on the other side. On the porch Seth found two rough looking characters holding up a completely inebriated Ryan.

Sliding out on the porch, Seth closed the door behind him. "Ryan! What are you doing? My parents are going to have a fit!"

Seth's warning fell on deaf ears as a red-eyed Ryan struggled to stay on his feet and the partying trio broke out in laughter at Seth's concern.

"He's all yours," one of the thugs said, placing Ryan's arm across Seth's shoulder. The weight of Ryan's muscular body pulled against Seth's slender frame.

"Um...Ryan? Can you help a little bit here?" he begged.

"Pfft! Are you always this weak?" Ryan rattled off. He didn't like anyone who was weak.

"Um right. You might wanna be nice to me for a while because I'm the only thing keeping my parents off you."

After a beat Ryan sized up Seth with hazy eyes. He had a point. "Fine. Can you just get me to my room?" Ryan slurred.

"Okay. That's probably a good idea," Seth nodded.

Pulling Ryan through the front door, they came face to face with Kirsten.

"Ryan," she regarded, attempting to keep her voice even. "Where have you been?"

"Out. Can I go now?" he answered, swaying and leaning against Seth to keep from falling. His breath reeked of alcohol and his eyes stared a hole through Kirsten. He wanted to go lay down and he wanted to go now.

"No. You can't go until you tell me where you were." Holding her ground Kirsten stood firm with her arms crossed against her chest.

"I told you, just out," Ryan argued back.

"Out where?"

Growing more and more agitated with every passing second, "What does it matter? I went out! I need to lay down."

"Ryan..." Kirsten began, but was cut short by Ryan doubling over and vomiting on the foyer floor.

"Oh God that's so gross!" Seth complained out loud while holding Ryan around the waist to keep him off the puke soaked floor. "I can feel his stomach every time he does that!"

Kirsten, however, was not amused. She waited a moment until Ryan stopped heaving. "Are you finished?"

Defeated, Ryan nodded.

"Alright let's go. Pool house. Now. I'll take it from here Seth."

"Thank God!" Seth muttered, rather happy to be relieved of the puking Ryan.

Kirsten held onto Ryan and shuffled him back to the pool house as Sandy came downstairs and looked over the mess on the foyer floor.

"What happened?

"Ryan's home."

Sighing, "Apparently. I'll take care of this. Go to bed Seth."

Back in the pool house, Ryan was talking but it was all drunken nonsense so Kirsten didn't answer him. Removing his jacket she noticed him tugging at his belt buckle.

"You okay Ryan?"

"I have to go to the bathroom," he slurred, angrily pulling harder against his belt buckle.

"Oh no you don't! Not here! No way!" Grabbing Ryan by the arm without any mercy for his condition, she literally dragged him across the room to the bathroom, barely allowing his legs a chance to negotiate any impassable objects along the way.

Steadying Ryan in front of the toilet, "Wait right here Ryan, just lean against the counter. I'll go get Sandy."

But before Kirsten could even turn to leave, a dizzy Ryan fell against her and managed to open his jeans with a single tug. "Can't wait," he garbled.

Steadying Ryan, again, "No no no! Ryan, I can't help you with this. I have to get Sandy. I'll only be a minute just hold on. Just wait."

"I told you I can't wait," he barked angrily in his intoxicated stupor and a familiar sound filled the room as he leaned against Kirsten for stability and relieved himself in the toilet.

Looking away from Ryan at the opposite wall, Kirsten clenched her teeth, shook her head in disgust and mouthed her frustrations at the wall. Sandy's words rang in her head. "No one said it would be easy." She knew there was no sense trying to reason with him in his current drunken state. She also reminded herself that as awkward and uncomfortable as this situation was, it was better than changing wet clothes, wet bedding, or cleaning up another floor considering the mess he'd left in the foyer.

When the room fell quiet again, "Ryan...are you finished?"

"Yeah..." It almost seemed he had a moment of clarity and sobriety, realizing what had just happened but Kirsten knew it was just her wishful thinking. Raising his head, his eyes were still cold and peeved, not to mention clearly drunk.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow. Let's get you into bed."

Guiding Ryan back to the bed, he let himself fall face first down onto the bed, and that's where he stayed. With one last perturbed shake of her head, Kirsten left him to sleep it off.

Once again, morning in Newport came quickly. Ryan cursed out loud at the lack of blinds in the pool house. His head was pounding with a fresh hangover and the bright sunlight wasn't going to let him sleep any longer. Pulling himself up a familiar sight awaited him. There sat Sandy in the 'Warden's chair' and he did not look happy. Ryan regarded him with reservation, waiting for the words to follow. Obviously he did something wrong but had no idea what it was. The previous night was lost in drunken bliss.

"Morning," Sandy started, breaking the ice. "How's your head?"

"It hurts."

"It's going to hurt worse when you see what awaits you today."

Disgusted, Ryan rolled his eyes and got out of bed.

"I'm not done talking to you Ryan."

"Yeah well I'm done talking to you," Ryan said grabbing his wallet and shoving it in his back pocket.

"Do you realize, that in the forty-eight hours you've been here, you've broken almost every rule I gave you?"

"Almost every rule? Damn. I was shooting for a clean sweep."

"Sit down and listen to me!" Sandy's voice meant business and it got Ryan's attention.

"Alright, what?" Ryan asked sitting down on the edge of his bed, offering Sandy a cold as ice stare.

"Why are you trying so hard to do the opposite of what we ask? Do you really hate it here that much?"

Ryan paused and thought on Sandy's comment. "This is only temporary. No sense getting used to it," he said looking down at his boots.

"Now that decision is up to you. I can't make you stay here. I can't make you want to be here. You have to want that for yourself. The only thing I can tell you...if you keep up on the path you're on, whether you want to be here or not, if you do something that lands you back in Juvie I won't be able to get you out next time. That would be strike three my friend."

Of everything Ryan listened to Sandy babble about that hit home. Going back to Juvie would be the worst. If Sandy couldn't get him out, then he'd be stuck there. And this time he'd be spending some serious time there. He wanted to push the envelope, but not to the point of returning to Juvie.

Sandy could see Ryan was absorbing at least the last line. He knew the kid didn't want to go back to Juvie. He also knew that Ryan's life prior to coming to Newport was quite the wild ride. There was no way this kid was going to change over night.

Sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, an extremely aggravated Ryan avoided looking at Sandy. He hated the fact that Sandy was right and that trapped animal feeling came back. He had to find a way out of this conversation without acknowledging what Sandy said. He sure as hell wasn't going to offer to do better. Just when the silence was growing too long, Ryan's hangover provided an out.

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"Bathroom's that way," Sandy countered calm and collected, not missing a beat.

Shaking his head, Sandy watched Ryan rush across the room, not even bothering to close the bathroom door. Listening to Ryan's stomach empty in the other room, he offered some encouragement.

"Remember Ryan...this is supposed to be fun!"

"Shut up Sandy!" he managed to shoot back before heaving again.

After several more minutes Ryan finally emerged from the bathroom looking pale and weary. He raised his hands at his sides hoping Sandy would see his surrender and back off with the joking.

"Glad to see you're miserable. But somehow I don't think you're learned a lesson from this."

Biting his bottom lip, Ryan just shook his head.

"Far enough. At least you're being honest...for now."

The comment brought a smirk to Ryan's face. Touché. Sandy was proving to be better at this game than he expected.

Rising from his seat, "By the way, you owe Kirsten an apology."

"For what?"

"For exposing yourself and reliving yourself in her presence."

Tucking his lips in, Ryan turned his head and just stared at his bed. The previous evening's events were just one big blur. He couldn't remember a thing. He knew he could upset Kirsten at the drop of a hat. She was soft just like the guard back at Juvie. But if what Sandy just said was true, then he must have really floored her. Surely her son Seth had never even snuck a drink behind her back, let alone gotten completely wasted and experienced all the gross stuff that goes with it.

"I'll apologize," Ryan consented quietly.

"Good. She's in the kitchen. I'll see you tonight...and I will see you tonight because you'll be staying in tonight. Got it?"

Ryan's sideways glance threw daggers at Sandy as he gritted his teeth and looked away. Opting for silence. It was going to be a long day.


	2. Taming the Wild

CHAPTER 2 – Taming the Wild

Shuffling into the kitchen against his will, Ryan found Kirsten sitting at the table flipping through files. His entry got her attention and her expression resembled Sandy's, that of an angry parent. Again, the silence was reaching deafening proportions

"So Sandy told me about..." he paused uncomfortably. "I'm sorry."

Kirsten sat back, folding her arms across her body. "Do you remember anything about last night Ryan?"

Shaking his head, "Look, I can't change who I am. And I'm not asking you to accept it. It won't be here much longer and I'll be gone anyway."

Frowning on that comment, "Why do you say that Ryan? Don't you like it here?"

"Pfft. Do you like me being here?"

"That's not a fair question. I don't know you. You haven't given me the chance to know you."

"Let me save you the suspense...you don't want me here."

"Ryan, with just a little effort on your part, your life could be anything you want it to be."

"Right. The only things I know how to do are hustle, party and overpower. Not exactly Yale qualifications."

Kirsten could see the fire behind his eyes. He truly believed this was what his life was destined to be. She had never seen that in the eyes of such a young person. Hopelessness. Again Sandy's words rang out, 'No one said it would be easy.' They had to try to make a change in his life. If they didn't, who would?

"Ryan, listen..."

"Don't. Just save it okay? Look, I'm sorry for what I did...in front of you. I may have a wild side but I don't normally do...things like that in front of girls...especially moms."

Even though she didn't know much about Ryan, his apology seemed heart-felt. "So, maybe you can make it up to me by not coming home drunk again?"

Dropping his eyes to the floor, he agreed to nothing.

"Ryan...you have to try. Otherwise the next time you throw up all over my foyer floor, you can clean it up."

"I did that too?"

Uh...huh." Kirsten nodded, letting the weight of his actions rest on his shoulders.

Shifting his weight uncomfortably, "I'm sorry."

Sitting alone on the pier, Ryan watched the waves break onto the sand. This place was getting to him. The normalcy. The niceness. He winced, narrowing his eyes at its perfection. Reaching over for his pack of stolen cigarettes, he lit up. A couple of drags off the cigarette seemed to calm his nerves. Something had changed. He was still the same guy from Chino, that much he knew. But why did this morning's conversation with Sandy, and then the one with Kirsten, weigh so heavily on his mind? He never cared what any adult thought about him or what he did. Ironically, it seemed his actions didn't carry the shock factor that they did back home. Had he thrown up on his mother's floor, surely he would have received one hell of a beating. These Cohen's, all they were basically saying was 'please don't do that again'. He didn't know how to handle that. His mind was blank. Sucking on his cigarette a moment longer, he stared at the waves again.

"Those things will kill you, you know."

Ryan turned an agitated glare toward Seth who was in the process of plopping himself down next to Ryan, invited or not.

"So what are you doing here?"

"Nothing."

"Well you look deep in thought. So what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Okay then. So you're doing nothing and thinking nothing. Great. So what's the point of being here?"

"Are you always this obnoxious?" Ryan asked sarcastically, pulling another cigarette from his pack and lighting it.

"Right because you're just a fountain of sweetness yourself," Seth replied just as sarcastically. "Come on man, is it your goal to have cancer by dinner or something?"

Ryan's mouth curled into a mischievous smile. "I'll bet you've never had a cigarette a day in your life."

"And why would I want to? There's absolutely nothing good about them."

Taking a drag himself, Ryan passed the cigarette over to Seth.

"You want me to smoke this?" A flabbergasted Seth inquired looking around panicked but somehow managing to take possession of the ill-fated stick.

"What's the matter? Afraid it'll ruin your Mama's boy image?"

"I'm not a Mama's boy," Seth countered quietly, nursing the nerve Ryan had just stomped on. Determined to show Ryan he was no wimp, he took a drag attempting to look as natural as possible until the choking started.

"Give me that," Ryan instructed, taking the cigarette away. "You're gonna kill yourself with that."

"I just (cough) thought (cough)..."

"I know what you thought. Don't do it again," Ryan reprimanded, letting the smoke seep through his teeth as he spoke.

That awkward, yet familiar, Cohen silence surrounded them. Ryan was getting used to it by now.

"How do you do that?" Seth asked, breaking the silence.

"Do what?"

"How do you get...tough?"

Ryan locked his gaze on Seth. The boy was a poster child for weakness. Awkward and curious about all the wrong things, Seth seemed a disaster waiting to happen. The streets of Chino would swallow him whole. But he had heart, and that's more than Ryan could say about half the guys back in Chino.

"I can't teach you how to be tough Seth."

Seth pondered that comment, dejected by Ryan's answer. "I'm doomed to live and die in this bubble."

The comment caught Ryan off guard. He couldn't imagine why someone with Seth's life wouldn't be happy. It seemed to suit Seth. The lifestyle was something straight off of T.V. even though Ryan didn't see himself fitting into it.

"Your bubble is better than my box."

"Are you kidding me? You've got a great life!"

"What are you nuts?"

"Yeah, I'm nuts! You're confident, you're tough, and your life is full of adventure and excitement. My life has been the same since the day I was born."

"I can assure you, my life isn't all that glamorous."

"Neither is mine. I get to dress up like a salesman every weekend and go from charity function to charity function with my only company being my parents. Then, I get to go to school next month where the entire student body seems hell bent on making me the butt off all their jokes. Doesn't that sound like a great life to you?" Hesitating before continuing, "What is your life like?"

Narrowing his eyes at Seth, "Why are you so interested in me?"

"Because you're not from here. You're not Newport. You're the anti-Newport and I want to get on that train!"

"Trust me. You don't want to be me."

"Yes. I do."

The two stared at each other for a moment. Silence. Ryan went back to concentrating on the waves. Seth continued to concentrate on Ryan. When he realized there would be no further discussion on the matter, he slouched in disappointment and stared at the waves just like Ryan.

"Well...you've done some fun stuff since you've been here."

"You find puking fun?"

"No. I don't find puking fun. But I'll bet the party before the puking was fun...right?"

Ryan raised his eyebrows and tipped his head. "The part I remember was a lot of fun. The rest is gone."

Out of the corner of his eye, Ryan could see Seth eager for more information. This kid really did live in a bubble.

"You really want to know what I've done since I got here?"

"Yes. I do. What I already know is that you hate me because I'm not tough like you and you aren't hanging with me because I am 'the Newport'...and you aren't at all about the Newport. What you don't get is the fact that...that's what makes you so interesting! You're not one of these pod people that I live with day in and day out."

Sighing, "Alright, if you repeat any of this..."

"I won't. I promise I won't."

"So far, I've been caught with cigarettes by your Dad. He took 'em, so I stole these. I got to go shopping with your Mom, which totally sucked. I got drunk last night at a kick ass party and apparently puked in your living room and then took a leak in front of your Mom, or so I'm told."

"I witnessed the puking. It was extremely gross Ryan."

"You can't handle puking and you want me to teach you how to be tough?"

"I know. I'm a hopeless case."

"Sorry, but you're doomed to be Newport."

Putting her earrings on, "Oh Sandy! When did you make time to pick these up? That was sweet of you. You saved me a trip today. Ryan will thank you, given how much he loves shopping."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"These," Kirsten replied holding up two tubes of Plum Frost lipstick. "Why are you looking at me like that? You mean you didn't..."

Sandy continued to look confused while Kirsten started getting angry.

"Oh no he didn't!"

"Who didn't do what? You've lost me," Sandy asked, trying to figure out where this was going.

A frustrated Kirsten offered an explanation. "I believe our bad boy is at it again."

"Kirsten, he's capable of many things, but that's not his shade."

"Stop joking Sandy! He stole these!"

"What? Why would he steal lipstick?"

"Remember I told you about the Cosmetic Lady from hell? She told me they were out of this shade of lipstick. When I was checking out, Ryan was bending over the lipstick drawer looking at something. I called him over and we left. Sandy he took these out of the drawer!"

"But you said the woman at the counter said they didn't have your shade?"

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

Heading to the pool house, she ran into Seth and Ryan walking around the corner of the house.

"Seth I need to talk to Ryan for a minute."

Ignoring the pending conversation, Ryan continued walking right past Kirsten and into the Pool House, plopping himself down on the edge of the bed.

"Ryan..."

"Here we go again," he sighed, disgusted.

"Where did these come from?" she asked holding out the lipstick tubes.

"Don't know."

Kirsten eyed him. Much to her disappointment, his face held no tells of any wrongdoing on his part. He was looking her right in the eyes and lying. His confidence was staggering.

"Ryan...I know you stole these."

"No I didn't." He snapped back, frustration of his own was starting to build.

"We'll see about that. You and I are going back to Fashion Island right now, you're going to return these to that evil saleswoman and tell her you're sorry. If I were you, I'd start praying she doesn't press charges. Get your jacket."

Now that struck a nerve. Charges would lead to the police being involved, which would lead him straight back to Juvie. "Alright! I took 'em. So what?"

"So what? Ryan, you cannot walk around taking whatever you want whenever you feel like it. I will not have a thief in this house."

Standing up, Ryan stepped up to Kirsten making her uncomfortable to the point she took a step away from him. "She lied to you. I watched her look through that drawer and move those two to the edge."

"Ryan why didn't you just mention that instead of stealing them. You are old enough to know stealing is wrong."

Backing off a bit, he folded his arms, tipped his head and narrowed his eyes at Kirsten. "Because there's a bit of personal satisfaction knowing how pissed off she's going to be when she goes back to get that lipstick only to find her little scam didn't work."

"Is everything with you about who's ahead and getting payback?"

Ryan held his position in silence.

Narrowing her eyes Kirsten stepped up to Ryan. "This is not acceptable in this family. Promise me you will not steal another thing."

His eyes met hers. His look was penetrating. "No"

"No?"

"I said no." His jaw locked making his glare just on the edge of intimidating.

Unnerved by him for the first time since he arrived, Kirsten took several steps away, unsure of exactly how far he would take this. She noticed his eyes following her even though his body stood motionless.

Ryan on the other hand was doing his best to exercise control. All he did was tell her 'no' and he could see he had frightened her by talking back. He definitely rattled her cage. There was no need to take it any further.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Ryan. I would have loved the opportunity for you to make a life here with us."

"What is that supposed to mean? Am I finally free to go on my own?"

"No. It means you've left me no choice but to tell Sandy about this. The chips are in the air Ryan. We'll see where they come down." With that said, she turned and left the pool house.

Watching her walk across the patio, Ryan could see the encounter had completely exasperated her. She didn't know how to fight and yet that's all Ryan knew how to do. The chips were in the air all right and now Sandy was going to learn about this situation. And what goes up must come down. It was just a matter of time.

Walking out of his bathroom Ryan found Sandy sitting in the infamous chair. Ironically, he looked rather amused. Considering Ryan knew the stolen lipstick was behind this next chat, the conversation at hand didn't match Sandy's appearance.

"Ryan, please sit down. Let's talk."

"Great," Ryan replied grimly, preparing for the next onslaught of reprimanding.

"You know Ryan, we've...okay, I've been going about this all wrong. I get it now."

Sandy's enthusiasm was throwing Ryan for a loop. "Get what?" he asked, suspiciously.

Leaning in toward Ryan, Sandy poked him on the chest with his pointer finger causing a frown on Ryan's face. "You're afraid to be here!"

"What?" Ryan choked. "Sandy, I'm not afraid of anything."

"Ah see? And there it starts."

"What?"

"The fear. You're feeling it right now."

"I'm not afraid."

"Aw, denial. It's so you," Sandy mocked, smiling.

Ryan jutted his bottom lip out in frustration. "Enough Sandy."

Sitting back in his chair, Sandy continued to smile at Ryan. "I can't believe I didn't see this from the beginning."

"I told you, I'm not afraid."

"Oh the hell you aren't! You don't understand this Newport life because it's so different from where you come from. You're scared to death you won't succeed here so you're goal is to set out to fail. That way, in your own mind, you've lost nothing."

Sandy stared at Ryan, the weight of his words raining down on the teenager. Ryan's head dropped, his eyes were darting back and forth searching the floor. That caged animal feeling had returned with a vengeance. He felt trapped. His mouth opened to voice a rebuttal, but instead he supplied his stock answer. Silence.

"Ryan, we brought you here because we know you have it in you to succeed. We will not let you fail," Sandy offered quietly.

Sandy was turning out to be a pain in the ass. Ryan hated that he seemed one step ahead of him every at every turn. Back in Chino Ryan was a force to be reckoned with. No one stood up to him. No one questioned him. And here was Sandy and this Cohen family doing both as often as they could.

Again the silence lingered on. "Can I be alone now?" Ryan asked.

If Sandy hadn't known better, he could have sworn Ryan was begging to end the conversation.

"Sure. Dinner is in an hour. I guess we'll see what tonight's adventure will be...more sneaking out to get drunk, to support my theory, or joining us at the dinner table, to support yours. For the record Ryan," he paused. "I would love for you to prove me wrong."

After Sandy walked out, the stillness of the pool house consumed Ryan. He paced the floor with Sandy's conversation ringing in his ears. Forty-five more minutes and he'd have to make a decision. Should he give Newport a chance?

Kirsten rustled through the refrigerator for salad makings. Making a salad wasn't considered 'cooking' by her definition and it was one of the edible items she prided herself on. Salads. She could make a decent salad. Seth and Sandy were busy moving the 'real' food from take out containers into the appropriate tableware. All hustle and bustle came to a dead halt with the click of the patio door.

Ryan felt all the eyes on him and instantly regretted his decision. Standing with the door open, he looked back at the pool house knowing just two little steps would have him back on the patio, away from circus Cohen.

"Ryan," Sandy interrupted. "Glad you've come to join us. Kirsten always orders entirely too much of all the good stuff. Come sit down. I'll bring you a dish."

Gingerly, Ryan shut the patio door and reminded himself he could walk out at any time. No one could stop him from changing his mind. Sitting down at the table, he watched Seth park himself in the next seat with a plate mounded with food. Sandy placed a similar plate in front of Ryan. There was enough food there to last Ryan for three days. The site of the dish alone made Ryan uncomfortable.

"Sandy I can't eat all..."

"That's not a problem Ryan. Eat what you like, throw away what you don't like...and help yourself to more of whatever suits you. Okay?" Slapping Ryan on the back, Sandy could see he was nervous. About what, he didn't know.

Looking over his dish, Ryan tried a few things that he could recognize. Most of it was pretty good but he just couldn't bring himself to be comfortable at the table. He listened to the Cohen's talk about their day. Sandy's day at work, Kirsten's day at work, even Seth's skateboarding got in on the conversation. When the table fell quiet, Ryan decided he had had enough.

Clearing his throat, "I'm going to...go back to my room now."

Kirsten noticed his plate had hardly been touched. "Ryan, honey, you hardly ate. Is there something else I can get you? Something else you'd rather have?"

"No. Everything was fine...I just..."

"Then what's wrong?" Seth added.

Damn that Seth and his curiosity. "Nothing...Seth. I don't want any more." That Seth! Always asking questions. Ryan shook his head and left the kitchen, quickly opting for the quiet confines of his room.

It didn't take but a few minutes before Kirsten showed up in the pool house with his dinner plate in her hands.

"Let me guess, you have some rule about finishing what's on your plate right?" Ryan mocked, irritated.

"No not at all." Sitting herself down next to Ryan, she placed his dinner plate on her lap. "I just want to know the truth behind why you left the table."

"Why does everything have to have a reason with you people?"

"Why does everything have to be so complicated with you? It's just dinner."

Ryan pursed his mouth in annoyance. "Look...I haven't had a family dinner since I was ten. I can't sit there listening to your perfect lives and pretend that everything is just fine and dandy."

Nodding, "Okay Ryan. I understand." Standing up, she placed his dish on a table across from the bed. "You don't have to do anything with that if you don't want to, but, I got the impression maybe you weren't quite finished when you left so I warmed it a bit before I brought it to you. If you really are full, just leave it. I'll get it later. Good night."

Ryan sat in silence staring at the plate.

Late that evening while tidying up a handful of things in the kitchen, Kirsten noticed the light was still on in the pool house. Concerned about Ryan after the post dinner conversation, she decided to check on him. Entering the pool house, she found him asleep on his bed fully dressed. When she looked over at his dish, she smiled. Ryan had eaten most of what was on the plate. Taking the dish, she turned out the light on his night table. Smiling to herself she realized just maybe there was hope for this kid yet.


	3. Trying Times

"Why do I have to wear a suit? Can't you just tell your parents I'm not going?"

"Oh sure. I'm sure they'll have no problem leaving a juvenile delinquent home alone in their house to do God knows what while they're gone." Off Ryan's stare, "Ryan, this is Newport, not Chino. We dress up ridoinkulously for all events. And if I have to go and be miserable tonight, you better believe you're coming with me."

The look on Ryan's face showed anything but excitement. When he finally did walk into the event, he knew he was out of his league. Trying to stand alone and out of the way, Ryan felt more like a spectacle than a shadow. And if one more guest came up to him and inquired about Juvie and his criminal background, he thought for sure he'd scream. When he felt he couldn't take it any more, he slipped away to a bar on the other side of the party. After searching the crowd to make sure there wasn't a Cohen in sight, he ordered a drink and disappeared into the shadows.

"Evening ladies," Sandy greeted. "Looks like everyone is having a wonderful time. I was wondering if I could borrow my lovely wife for just a second."

After placing some distance between themselves and the partygoers, "Sandy, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Have you seen Ryan? I can't find him and I've looked all over the place. I even checked the men's rooms and the garden patio. He's gone."

"Sandy calm down. If he felt pressure here, then I'm sure he left. Remember your theory about being afraid? What if it's true? What if tonight was more than he could handle? He came back last time after taking off. He'll find his way home."

Nodding in agreement, Sandy put his arm around Kirsten and led her back to the party. "Just...keep an eye out."

"I will."

"Oh Kirsten! There you are! Sandy you don't mind if I steal her from you do you?"

"Now Taryn let's not talk about stealing things."

Laughing, "Sandy! You're always such the kidder!"

Grabbing Kirsten's arm, Taryn led her down the hall babbling something about cake.

Sandy decided he'd look one more time for Ryan.

In the back hallway, "Now Kirsten, wait until you see this cake! Marsfeld did it special for this function and it turned out amazing! He is the premiere cake chef. I thought you might want to get a good look at this incase he could help you out in the future with any of your cake needs.

Entering the empty set up room near the kitchen, the cake took her breath away. Specially prepared, it was a work of art. The two women circled the delectable dessert admiring the talent of its creator. Crossing in front of the cake for the second time, something caught the corner of Kirsten's eye. Looking up she discovered Ryan. He was sitting in a little nook at the back of the room on a bunch of dish crates.

Coming up with a quick excuse, "Oh Taryn, aren't you supposed to be upstairs? To make the announcements?"

"Oh! I almost forgot!"

"It's okay, go. I just want one more look at this cake."

"Alright, I'll see you upstairs."

Kirsten waited until Taryn disappeared into the elevator before quickly crossing the room to where Ryan was sitting.

Leaning against the wall in the nook, he looked completely disheveled. His tie was missing, his collar was up and his shirt was completely unbuttoned. He had one leg propped up on the crates while the other leg hung off. His eyes were glossy and red and he blinked slowly as if he could fall asleep at any moment. In his hand was a beer bottle.

He appeared to consider Kirsten for a moment before lifting the bottle to his mouth and taking a generous swig.

"Ryan...could I have that?"

Continuing to blink slowly, he handed her the bottle without a fight.

"How much have you had to drink tonight?"

"Quite a bit. But not as much as the night I puked on your floor if that's what you're asking."

"So what's wrong? Why are you down here?"

"Because I don't belong here. Don't you think I feel it?"

"Ryan, you're part of my family and my family doesn't sit in the basement."

"I'm not part of your family. I don't have a family. Nobody wants me."

His blunt, yet honest, opinion took her by surprise. Not knowing what to say to that, Kirsten was the one opting for silence now. Whatever they felt for him, he just made it clear he didn't feel the same way. And that news hurt.

"Would you like to go home Ryan?"

He nodded slowly. "I can't exactly blend back into the party in my current condition."

"Okay, I'll call Sandy and tell him to get the car." She helped him off the crates and put her arm around his waist. He was out of it, but he could carry his own body weight. She'd seen him in worse shape.

When they reached the hall, Ryan stopped walking and looked around. "Are any of these doors bathrooms?"

The two shared a concerned look.

"Kirsten I'm coherent this time. I know what I'm doing. Just tell me where."

"End of the hall. I'll walk you down there."

Once Ryan slipped past the bathroom door on his own, Kirsten dialed Sandy on her cell phone and filled him in.

"Don't come down on him Sandy, he's actually talking a little bit. We've got all day tomorrow to deal with the drinking he did tonight. Sandy, he thinks we don't want him..."

"He really said that?"

"He said he doesn't have a home and nobody wants him. Sandy I felt terrible, I didn't know what to say."

"One step at a time Kirsten. Let's get him home."

Agreeing to meet at the side door, Sandy gathered Seth and headed to get the car. Meanwhile, Kirsten led Ryan down an empty hallway and outside to the garden. The cool night air chilled them both.

"Do you feel okay Ryan? Can you make it home in one piece?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

The car ride home was uneventful. Ryan had fallen asleep almost immediately. Seth was sitting across from him, his head swarming with questions he would ask Ryan in the morning. Sandy and Kirsten sat in the front separately pondering how Ryan managed to pull off what he did without either taking notice. Secretly they both felt guilty for allowing him to meander the party, unescorted. They knew Newport's high society could be difficult and they lived there. But they hadn't taken the time to consider how it would affect Ryan by throwing him into a party like that.

Back in the pool house, Sandy and Kirsten walked a half asleep Ryan to his bed and sat him down. Sandy untied and removed his shoes and Kirsten removed his suit jacket and his dress shirt. Once he laid down, Kirsten instructed him to take off his belt, something about it not being healthy to sleep with something tight around his waist. He was too tired and obeyed without arguing. Handing his belt over she covered him with a blanket as Sandy said "Goodnight kid" and left the pool house.

Ryan watched Kirsten a minute longer while she made sure his blanket was just right.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

His eyes were all but closed but Kirsten could tell he was watching her.

"Because despite how you feel about us, we really do care about you. Get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day." Brushing his hair out of his eyes, she bid him good night.

Sandy had already left for work when Kirsten decided she would make a quick run to the store before the boys got up. Moving along as quickly as she could she was please to be back home in just over an hour. Putting away her groceries, she thought about the events from the night before. Ryan hiding himself away at the party and drinking himself into the shadows was bothering her for some reason. Not to mention his comment about not being a part of their family. Finishing her coffee, she checked her watch and figured everyone had slept long enough. She poured Ryan a cup of coffee and prepared a bagel. She hoped some bit of knowledge would come to her. Something she could share with Ryan to get him to view things differently. Maybe he'd open up a bit more today. In the mean time, she assumed Ryan would be nursing a good headache this morning and she reminded herself to tread lightly. She knew it wouldn't take much to set him off and that would get them nowhere.

Opening the door to the pool house, "Good morning Ryan. I brought you...oh my God! What do you think you're doing???"

Apparently Ryan didn't have a headache at all as Kirsten watched him roll over while a girl she didn't know wiggled out from under Ryan's body. Embarrassed, the nearly naked girl quickly claimed her things and made haste for the door. Ryan sat himself up in his bed leaning back on his arms, the front of his jeans undone.

Quickly forgetting the pity she had for Ryan only minutes before in the kitchen, rage consumed her and she exploded.

"Explanation! NOW!" she demanded through clenched teeth.

Ignoring her infuriated behavior, Ryan scooted off the opposite side of the bed and stood up. Keeping his back to her, he closed his jeans and reached for his shirt.

"Ryan! I'm talking to you!"

"I know."

"Answer me!"

Turning to face her, "What do you want me to say? What? You want to hear me admit I got laid? Is that what you want?"

"How could you do this? Did we not have a conversation about respecting this house???"

"Look," Ryan said, crossing the room to where Kirsten was standing. "I've been here for four...days. What you want is for me to turn into an alter boy overnight and that ain't gonna happen."

Kirsten's mouth hung open. Oh this kid was stubborn! Putting her hands on her hips and looking Ryan dead in the face, she scoured for something further to say. Shaking her head at the blankness, she addressed the obvious. "Please tell me you are, at the very least, practicing safe sex." She stared at him waiting for an answer.

Grinding his teeth, he nodded.

"Are you lying?" she probed.

Crossing in front of Kirsten, Ryan reached for something on his night table and turned around to show her an open and empty condom wrapper.

Kirsten's eyes filled with tears. "I'm not used to this Ryan. I'm not used to people not accepting my help. I guess I don't know how to help you. You've made it apparent you don't want my help...our help. I will not allow you to use my home as your personal playground. The door is open. You can leave whenever you're ready. I'll let Sandy know. I wish you the best."

Covering her face with her hand she left the pool house in a hurry. Ryan stood shocked. He looked down at the empty condom wrapper in his hand. That had done it. That's what put her over the edge. Looking back at his night table he threw the wrapper down. It landed next to the fresh cup of coffee and the bagel she brought him. Turning his concentration to the main house he could see Kirsten on the phone in the kitchen, her back was to Ryan. Calling Sandy no doubt. The chips were coming down.

Two weeks had passed since Ryan left. Kirsten cursed herself hourly for jumping the gun and allowing him to leave. Sandy did his best to keep her spirits up.

"Honey, we knew Ryan was a wild spirit when we brought him home. He's the one that has to decide where his life is going to go. We can offer him the moon, but if he doesn't want it..."

"I've never 'not' been able to help someone Sandy. This hurts."

"You can't blame yourself. This isn't about us. It's about him."

"I'll never forgive myself if something happens to him because I let him go."

"He's a tough kid. He'll find his way. Who knows, it might even lead him back here." Sandy smiled and gave Kirsten a hug. Reading each other's thoughts, they wondered if they would ever see Ryan again.

Kirsten was exhausted. The planning committee had drained her only day off and she had just spent the last seven hours discussing everything from buntings to appetizers to music choices. The sun was basking deep on the horizon and she was hoping Seth and Sandy had already order some dinner.

Handing the valet her ticket, she waited for her car. She let her eyes wander across the grounds, taking in the rushing people, the flowers, the fountain and...Ryan?

He was sitting on a retaining wall. When he noticed Kirsten looking his way, he raised his hand in a cautious wave, a lit cigarette in his fingers.

"Your car, ma'am." The valet interrupted her thoughts.

Peeling her eyes off Ryan for a moment, "Um...Joe...I forgot something. Could you pull it off to the side for just a moment?"

"Sure thing Mrs. Cohen."

When she returned her attention to Ryan, he was gone. She rushed across the sidewalk to where he was sitting. She searched the area, including the backside of the retaining wall. Nothing. He was gone. Putting her hands on the retaining wall she looked out over the hillside, discouraged.

"You look like someone just ruined your charity function."

"Ryan?" she questioned, turning around.

"Hey."

"This is, um, this is the last place I expected to run into you. How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"I'm surprised you're still here, in Newport. I thought for sure you'd be leaving skid marks on your way back to Chino."

A half smile presented itself across Ryan's face. "Yeah. No, not yet."

"Well, where are you staying?"

Tucking his lips in, he let his eyes drop to the ground and decided to change the subject. "So...how's Sandy doing?"

Catching on, "Ryan...where are you staying?"

"Here and there," he explained too embarrassed to look at her.

"You're living on the street?"

Hesitantly, "It's not so bad. Not like I haven't done it before. The streets of Newport are nothing like the streets of Chino. I can get away with..." catching himself, "It's not so bad."

That awkward Cohen silence filled the air.

"So how's Seth?"

"Ryan, you can't keep doing this."

"What?"

"Running..."

Hearing her words, Ryan looked away. Turning his body he leaned against the wall. "It's all I know how to do."

Kirsten's eyes filled up again. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"Ryan, come home with me. No strings. No questions. Even if it's just for dinner. I'm sure it's been a while since you had a nice meal. Please?"

"I can't. I should go. I've held you up long enough. Seth and Sandy are going to want their dinner. I'll see you around."

"Ryan wait," Kirsten grabbed his jacket to stop him from going too far too quickly. Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her wallet.

"Kirsten I can't take that..."

"Oh yes you can. If you won't come home with me and eat, then you take this and get yourself a good dinner. There's enough there for several meals. I'm sure you can manage to save some of it for a pack of cigarettes too."

"Since when do you approve of cigarettes? Besides, I'm too young to buy them that's why I steal 'em." And embarrassed smile flashed across his face and then disappeared.

"You take that and you do what I said. Okay?"

Tears were flowing from her eyes now. She knew if she pushed him to come home with her he would probably throw her money back at her and run. He was looking at her with eyes she had never seen before. For the first time since she met him, he looked afraid. Afraid to agree to go with her. Afraid to let her leave without him. She watched him fold the money and stuff it in his front pocket. Raising his eyes to her he swallowed hard as Kirsten put her arm around him and hugged him.

"Take care of yourself Ryan. I'll be thinking about you."

Standing silently, he let her cup his scruffy face in her hand before she turned and went back to her car. Watching her drive away he wondered if he had done the right thing.

It had been a couple days since Kirsten ran into Ryan. She found herself driving past the banquet hall on several occasions for no other reason than to see if Ryan was there, sitting on the retaining wall again. Once again he had vanished.

Back at the Cohen house it was dinner as usual. Take out containers strewn across the counter signalized it time to eat. Once everyone had taken their seat, the kitchen fell quiet with the exception of clanging utensils.

"Honey you can't keep beating yourself up over this," Sandy offered, hoping to chisel away some of the ice that had built up at the table.

"That's easy for you to say Sandy, you're not the one that let him leave. I just wish I could see him again. Just to make sure he's okay. It's the not knowing part that's just killing me. Well, that on top of basically throwing him out."

"Honey..."

"Mom if you wanted to see Ryan why didn't you just say so?" Seth's comment brought dinner to an abrupt halt.

"You know where he is?" Sandy asked, stunned by this news. "How could you know he barely talked to you?"

"Seth, tell us!"

"Fine. I will tell you. But if he asks how you found him, do not mention my name."

"Deal! Spill it!" Kirsten negotiated.

Sighing, "He may not have made time for me, but it's no secret that I have all the time in the world. I followed him. Now I'm not promising he will be there, but, when he was staying here, he went down to the pier every day. Mom what are you doing?"

Kirsten had already jumped out of her seat, grabbed her car keys and was heading to the front door. "Just wrap up my dinner! I'll eat it later!"

After dropping her keys twice on the driveway and wrestling with her seatbelt, she was finally at the point of starting her car when Sandy appeared outside her window.

"Kirsten...honey...turn the car off."

"Sandy, I have to go to the pier. What if he's there? What if..."

"Exactly. What if? Then what? You're gonna drag him back here kicking and screaming so he can go through the motions of showing you, again, that he doesn't want to be here? Granted, he was only here for four days but he put an awfully lot of energy into keeping us on our toes."

"But what about what you said Sandy? What if he's only acting out because he's afraid? What if we...what if I gave up on him too soon?"

"Honey all the guessing in the world will only bring him back here...if he truly wants to be here."

Laying her head back against the car seat, Kirsten wrestled with the decision of going to the pier to look for Ryan or staying home. When Sandy opened the car door and extended his hand, tears took over again. "I can't take this much longer Sandy."

"It's going to be okay. Ryan's going to be okay. We all just need some time."

Leading her into the house, he tried to convince himself that he believed his own words. He hoped he was right.

Two more days gone past brought Saturday morning and that meant surfing. Sandy hit the waves early every weekend so he could be home with his family on his days off. Parking at his favorite surf spot, he eyed the pier in the distance. It was pretty empty at this hour. With the exception of a few dedicated surfers, six a.m. showed the beach and the pier rather empty. Getting out of the Rover, he eyed the pier again. He could go look. What if he was there? Shaking his head he opted to obey his own advice. Grabbing his surfboard he hoped the waves would take the edge off his worries and clear his head.

With Sandy surfing and Seth still asleep, Kirsten sat in the kitchen in silence, sipping her morning coffee and mindlessly flipping through the newspaper.

She heard the doorbell ring and allowed Rosa to answer it. She hoped whoever it was would just go away, she wasn't in the mood for visitors. When she heard Rosa walking towards the kitchen, she knew the person on the doorstep had not left.

"Excuse me Mrs. Cohen, there's someone at the door for you."

Still flipping through the newspaper, "Rosa, could you please tell them I'm not available and ask them to come back another time. I'm really not up for talking right now."

"Would you be willing to talk to me?"

Kirsten's head snapped up and she spun around to look behind her. "Ryan!"

"Hey..."

"How did you...are you....did you want something to eat? Are you...Oh my God your eye!" she spit out all at once, rushing across the kitchen to get a better look at Ryan's bruised eye.

"It's nothing. Really. Sort of comes with the territory."

"So...what brings you here? Are you okay?"

Yeah I...um..." he hesitated. Looking her straight in the eye, he swallowed hard again. That familiar Cohen silence was now an Atwood silence as she waited for him to search for the right words.

"I don't ever do this...ever..."

She watched his chest rising and falling from anxiety. Whatever he wanted to say, it was important and he wanted to get this right. Kirsten fought off every impulse to find the words for him.

"It's funny, you don't appreciate having a bed until you don't have one any more...or a shower...or a table full of babbling people that's covered in food." He laughed nervously at his own revelation before stifling his anxiety born smile.

"What are you saying Ryan?" She could tell he was grinding his teeth.

"I was wondering if..." he paused nervously. "If you'd be willing to give me another chance." He watched Kirsten eager for her answer yet trying his hardest to hide his hopefulness. Lord knows he did everything in his power to screw up his first impression and part of him knew there was a good chance she'd say 'no'.

"Ryan I thought you hate it here," she stated with caution.

"I did. At least...I thought I did." He admitted. "Sandy was right. It seemed easier to screw up so you'd throw me out right away rather than waiting for it to come to me when I wasn't expecting it."

"You definitely accomplished a lot in the four days you were here Ryan. And yet, nothing has changed. The rules are still the same. Our expectations of you haven't changed."

"I know," he acknowledged. "I didn't get like this overnight, and I'm not perfect. But..." pausing, he grabbed his backpack off the floor. Pulling out two packs of cigarettes with a lighter, a small half empty bottle of whiskey and a couple of wrapped condoms, he placed everything on a pile and pushed it toward Kirsten's side of the counter top.

"What are you doing Ryan?"

"If you take me back in...I promise I'll try. That morning after I came home drunk you told me I had to at least try. I'm not saying I'll never make another mistake, I'll probably make lots of them and I'll still probably piss you off at times, but, I'll try this time."

"You're sure this is what you want? We are a very sappy and cheesy family. We can make your life hell."

A smirk formed on Ryan's face. "I know. It's gonna suck! But, I can give you guys a pretty good run for you money in the 'hell' department if provoked."

"Ha! I think we already have a pretty good idea of what you're capable of. Okay Ryan. Let's give it a try." Kirsten could visibly see him let out the breath he was holding. "Where did you get all of this stuff anyways?"

"You ...probably don't want to know."

Folding her arms across her chest, "Ryan, no more lying."

Sighing, "No lying. Right. That's going to take time. I am from Chino. Lying is a way of life there. Okay fine. I got it at various stores and...I admit, that's not everything."

"What? Ryan!"

A genuine smile broke out over his face. For the first time Kirsten got a glimpse of who he could be...if he tried.

"What? I gave you most of it! You think that was easy for me?"

"I don't believe this! You conned me!"

Shaking his head and returning to seriousness, "NO! No I didn't. It's only a con if you don't mean what you say."

"So you're saying you're really going to try? And I mean really try?"

"Yeah."

"When do I get the rest of the stuff?"

"I'll get rid of it." Off of Kirsten's look, "I promise. I'll get rid of it."

"Let's get one thing straight, 'getting rid of it' does not mean using it. Okay?"

Nodding, "Is it okay if I go back to my room?"

Giving Ryan a smile of relief, "Yes. Make sure you put anything you want washed in the laundry basket. Rosa is here today."

Nodding again, Ryan opened the patio door and paused, "Kirsten?" He waited for her to look at him. "Thanks."

When Sandy walked through the door he noticed something was different. Kirsten was sitting in the living room and she was practically beaming.

"Oh I missed something. What is it? Wait let me guess. Seth is going to start paying rent? The Newpsies excused us from the next six months of charity functions? Your Dad is moving far away to Tahiti?"

"Sandy!"

"Honey those were all good guesses."

Kirsten shook her head at Sandy and just smiled.

"What? Ryan? You heard from Ryan?"

"Actually...he's here."

Surprised, "Ryan's back???"

Nodding contently, "Ryan...is back."

"So you really want to do this again? I mean you're okay with this?"

"Well he admitted he would actually try this time but he was honest enough to also admit that he will probably still piss us off at times...his words, not mine."

"Gotta love that kid's version of honesty!"

"He came back here on his own...we have to try Sandy..."

"Okay...we'll give it a try...Heaven knows he'll at least make it an interesting ride."


	4. Bending The Rules

Bending the Rules

"They have GOT to get some blinds in here," Ryan complained, shielding his eyes from the brightness using his arm. Something registered. Removing his arm he squinted across the room and found Seth sitting in the now famous Cohen family chair. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you too," Seth acknowledged, scribbling something on a tablet. "Grumpy in the morning…"

"Seth, what are you doing?"

"I'm making the Ryan Atwood Anti-Newport checklist." Off Ryan's less than appreciative look, "I'm just making little notes about…you. Well, your methods really. See look…" Seth offered relocating and seating himself on the edge of Ryan's bed.

"Get off my bed."

"Yeah just a second, you might find this interesting…"

"Get…off my bed!"

"Yeah I heard you the first time, let me just show you…"

His explanation was curtailed when Ryan put both feet on Seth's hip and shoved with all his might sending him sprawling onto the floor. Crawling over to his pen Seth plopped himself down on the floor Indian style and looked at Ryan in shock. Scratching out previous information on his writing table, he made a new note, "Let's make that…violent…in the morning."

"I warned you."

"That wasn't a warning Ryan, that was a request. 'Get off my bed'…that's like…'Pass the butter'. Now had you said, 'Get off my bed or I'll catapult you onto the patio' then I would have understood, I definitely would have moved."

Ryan sat up shaking his head at Seth.

"So, are you really staying this time?"

Sighing, "Maybe. I suppose asking you for a cigarette is out of the question."

"What do you mean maybe? And didn't you promise my Mom that you'd quit smoking?" Seth asked watching Ryan ravage through his things looking for a stray cigarette.

"I said maybe. And I didn't promise you're mom I'd quit, I promised her I'd try."

"So looking for a cigarette on your second morning back is trying?"

Throwing his backpack on the floor, Ryan turned and glared over his shoulder at Seth. "Sometimes just one cigarette can keep me from throwing someone across the room."

Immediately, Seth scribbled more onto his note pad. Mumbling under his breath, "Cigarettes calm…the beast…"

Frowning at Seth, "Is your Mom home?"

"Ah, no. She's at work. Why?"

"Good. Time to go treasure hunting," Ryan replied striding right past Seth and out the pool house doors.

"Ryan wait…hunting for what?" Seth inquired, chasing after him.

"Where's your Mom's room?"

"What? Why do you want to know that?"

"Because I've never been up here Seth. Which one is her room?" Stumbling across it himself, Ryan paused in the doorway. "Is this it?"

"Yeah. Look Ryan, I don't know what you're doing but this feels like a bad idea. Can we just go back to the kitchen now?"

"We're looking for my cigarettes. Besides, you're the one that wanted an adventure…live a little," Ryan provoked, flicking his eyebrows at Seth.

"Ryan this mission is doomed," Seth warned following Ryan into the room. "My Mom hates cigarettes with a passion. There's no way she saved them. I'm telling you, they're gone."

"I thought you told me on the pier that you're not a Mama's boy."

"Dude I'm not!"

"Then stop acting like one," Ryan instructed, rummaging through obvious places.

"Dude! That's my Mom's underwear drawer! Come on man! Get out of there!"

Sighing, "I'm not interested in underwear…Seth…I'm interested in cigarettes." He stopped searching the night table and picked up a photo of a younger Seth and an older woman. "Who are you sitting with here?"

"Oh that's my Gram. She died from cancer a few years back. You would have liked her. She was always handing out money."

"I like her already."

"What about your grandparents?"

"Haven't seen 'em since I was eight. My Grandma used to always give me gum."

"Well, that's cool…right?"

"Yeah sure…I guess so. It is when you're only eight."

"Boys, what are you doing in here?" Kirsten's voice startled them both. Ryan gently set the photo down and threw a quick warning look at Seth.

"Mom…Um…I thought you went to work?"

"I did. I forgot my briefcase," she explained walking over to the desk. Pausing before the table, "So, what did you say you're doing in here?" she asked narrowing her eyes at both boys.

Panicked, Seth set his adventure into overdrive. "Us? Nothing. Nothing at all. Well, a tour really. Ryan said he's never seen the second floor so I was just, um, showing him around a bit."

Ryan stood silent and Kirsten locked her gaze on him. "Is that the truth?" She watched as Ryan was about to agree with Seth and jump on the whole 'tour' band wagon, but she interrupted him. "The truth…Ryan."

Weighing his options, he bit his lip and stole a glance at Seth who was pretty much sweating bullets.

"I was just…I need a cigarette."

"Ryan, you know the rules in this house."

"I know, unfortunately the house doesn't understand how hard it is to quit cold turkey. Look, I didn't have any all day yesterday and all last night…and this morning I threw Seth off my bed. Literally."

Kirsten changed her look to Seth who was acknowledging that truth by rapidly shaking his head up and down. "Yeah, he's a little bit…on edge."

"I'm not asking you for the whole pack, just gimme one. C'mon don't make me go out and get my own. You know I can…and I will if I have to. I'm trying and I told you the truth. Just one…"

Sighing slowly, Kirsten drummed her fingers on top of her briefcase. "Okay Ryan…just one. Go sit on the patio, I'll bring it to you."

"You're actually going to let him have one of those death sticks?"

"Seth, I'm the parent. Let me handle this."

"Well geez if you're in the giving mood, can I have a car?"

"Ah…no. Patio. Now. Go."

Nodding, Ryan led the way to the hallway.

"Ryan, why is she sending us to the patio?"

"Because she doesn't want me to know where she's stashed 'em."

Kirsten smiled. She knew he had just conned her…again. But, he did tell the truth this time. That's a start. She knew putting her foot down and refusing to move it would only end in a backlash on Ryan's part. Lord knows he wasn't afraid to break the rules and she'd rather sacrifice one cigarette to gain some ground with him than have him running out to steal a whole new pack. She had no doubt he would have done it had she said no. Handling Ryan and breaking his old habits would require some compromising, by everyone. There was a time when she smoked, a long, long time ago. She new it wasn't easy to quit. She also remembered just how cranky she got when that nicotine urge was there. Ryan was already a challenge. There was no point in making it more difficult. As twisted as this was, she knew this was the right thing to do…this time…

Plunking himself down on a patio chair, "I can't believe you conned her into giving you a cigarette. That's amazing!" Seth said, astonished at Ryan's accomplishment. "I'll have you know, that's not my Mother. My Mother…would never do that."

Ryan smiled slyly, "She's just trying to keep me sedated."

"Sedated?"

Nodding, "She's smarter than I originally gave her credit for. She knows one cigarette will make me happy…for now. She also knows if she says no I'll run out and steal a whole pack, now I've got lots of them."

"But…you could still run out and steal a pack…"

"You learn fast Seth Cohen."

"But, why would you do that? She gave you what you wanted."

"I'm no altar boy Seth."

"Okay Ryan, here you go. Please do not extinguish this on my patio. Use this can."

Standing up, Ryan put the cigarette in his mouth. With his hand shielding the lighter from the ocean breeze, he got it lit. Turning to face the ocean, he took a drag and held it. Closing his eyes he let the nicotine in. Kirsten was getting nervous at the length of time he was holding his breath, holding the smoke in.

"Ryan?"

Opening his eyes, he let the smoke slowly pour from his mouth. Turning to look at Kirsten he took another hit and then cupped the cigarette into his hand to shelter it from the breeze, protecting it from burning too quickly. He only had one, he had to make it last.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied rather matter-of-factly.

"That's it Ryan, we agreed on one. Right? That means no shopping for more in your free time. Got it?"

Turning his attention back to the ocean, he shook his head in frustration. Kirsten, just like Sandy, was proving to be on step ahead of his moves at all times.

"I mean it Ryan."

"Yeah I got it!" he rattled off, pissed off.

"Okay…good," she acknowledged a bit flustered by his reaction. "So, you guys are hanging around the house today. For the record, nothing you might be looking for is hidden in places you're gonna look. They aren't even in my bedroom. And…if you do happen to come across them, I know how many of everything there is so I'll know you found them. So be good boys and find something else to do today."

Ryan turned his eyes to the side, toward Kirsten. If looks could kill, she would have been lying flat on the patio by now.

"Love you both too," Kirsten mocked, wrinkling her nose at the boys. "Bye."

Bored out of their minds after only an hour, Seth tried to spring a plan, any plan, into action.

"So, do you like comics? The new ones are out today."

"We're not supposed to leave," Ryan sighed heavily with disgust.

"Dude come on! Barely an hour ago you told me you're no altar boy, and now just because Mommy said, "Behave boys! Stay in the yard!' You're suddenly okay with that?"

A mischievous twinkle glistened in Ryan's eyes. "Well if you're willing to break that rule, let's see what you've got…"

"Oh I've got plenty!"

"Oh yeah? So you think you can bring it?"

"Bring it? Ryan I already brought it! I'm just waiting for you to catch up buddy!"

Bursting out in laughter at Seth's attempt to 'bring it', Ryan stood up and crossed the room to his location. Getting in his face, "You better be able to back up that set of balls your showing. Otherwise you just got in way over your head." Giving the suddenly scared Seth an amused but intimidating look, "C'mon, let's go."

A short journey found them at the loading docks behind a local strip mall. Perfect timing found them watching a liquor distributor unloading a delivery to the convenient store. Ryan looked at Seth who was clearly having second thoughts and pushed Seth a little farther.

"Okay. We'll flip a coin. Heads goes to get our booze, tails gets to sit here and watch." Pulling change from his pocket to trigger the deal, Seth grabbed his arm before the coin hit the air.

"Ryan, wait wait wait…"

"Come on don't tell me you're chickening out already? We didn't even do anything. What happened to 'bringing it'?"

"I…I did…I brought it…I did. I just…forgot it at home, that's all." Seth stammered, his eyes pleading to be let off the hook.

"Fine. I'll get it." Dropping his bike in the bushes, he gave Seth a few instructions. "You do exactly as I say. If something goes wrong, get on your board and get the hell out of here. Don't call my name. Don't try to fix it. Go the hell home. If you don't follow my rules, when I do get back home, I'll beat the shit out of you. You understand me?"

Swallowing hard, "You're making me a little nervous Ryan."

"Good. You should be. You're about to be an accessory to a crime," Ryan stated rather pointedly before starting his walk towards the delivery truck.

Seth's mouth dropped open. A crime! He wasn't considering this a crime, just an adventure! "Oh my God I'm going to jail! My parents are going to kill me and then Ryan is going to take my face off! We're so caught! Oh my God!"

Ryan stopped walking long enough to turn and look at Seth. Seth got his point. Panic silently or else. Approaching the truck, Ryan nodded politely at the delivery man pushing a dolly full of crates of booze into the back door of the store as if his casual stroll was just allowing him to cut through the back lot. Once Ryan passed the side of the truck he bent down to look underneath it. After the wheels of the dolly and the man's feet disappeared inside the door to the store, Ryan bolted to the back of the open truck and in one leap was inside with the crates of alcohol. Using the deliveryman's own box cutter knife, he opened a box towards the back, took a bottle and hid it in his jacket. Cautiously surveying the store's doorway from the back of the truck, Ryan carefully held onto the bottle within his jacket and jumped down. Nonchalantly he walked back to Seth as if he had just purchased a pack of chewing gum.

"Ryan I don't believe you just did that! You just stole something in front of me!"

"Yeah what's you're point? Hold this," Ryan asked passing the bottle to Seth and picking up his bike.

"What do you mean hold this? I guess…I guess I didn't think you'd go through with it."

"You didn't think I'd go through with it? Gimme that…" Hiding the bottle back in his jacket Ryan flashed two cigarettes. Seth went completely speechless. "He left his pack sitting on one of the boxes in there. Let's get one thing straight about me…if I say I'm gonna do something, there should be no doubt in your mind that I'm gonna back it up. Make sure you add that to your little tablet."

Buried up to her eyeballs in files, Kirsten was relived when her phone rang and offered her a break from staring at numbers.

"Sandy, hi! I thought you were going to be in court all day is everything okay?"

"Yeah it's fine. My last two clients were no shows. Their bondsmen are going to have a field day. How's your day?"

"Oh don't ask. I'm being swallowed up by budget reports. I can't wait to go home."

"Hey speaking of home, have you talked to the boys today?"

"No, I haven't. Well, I take that back, I forgot my briefcase and had to go back home and caught them snooping around. But I haven't talked to them since then. Why?"

"What do you mean snooping around?"

Sighing, "Well they were both in my room and Ryan was standing by my bed table holding the photo of Seth and my Mom. I got him to admit that he was looking for his cigarettes."

"You're kidding me! He admitted that? You didn't give in, did you?"

"Sandy this kid is smart. We've really gotta be on our toes with him. He knew the right thing to do was admit what he was looking for and then he bargained for a single cigarette. In not so many words, he basically said, 'Give me one or I'll go out and get a new pack'. You and I both know he would have backed that up the second I left.

"But, why didn't you just say no?"

"Because rules mean nothing to this kid. That's going to take some time. Forcing him at this stage is only going to make him act out even more. That's not the way to gain ground with him."

"You really think he's trying?"

Laughing, "I think he's trying really hard to balance what he's supposed to do with what he wants…as long it he gets want he wants!"

"Bending the rules a bit. I guess it's better than breaking them left and right."

"Oh I promise you, he's going to try to bend them to almost the breaking point if he can. I have no doubt in my mind he's been all over the entire house by now."

"The house? Why?"

"At the very least, he's still looking for those cigarettes. I guess we'll see what we find when we get home."

Later that afternoon, back at the Cohen house, Seth stood across the kitchen from the bottle of booze, chewing his nails.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Oh nothing."

"Are you chickening out again?

"Who me? No!"

"Good. You're a little wet behind the ears so we'll start you out small," Ryan explained, filling a small juice glass.

"So, that's small huh?" Seth worried looking at the amount of booze Ryan was pouring into the glass.

"Yep. Anything bigger and you'll be drunk in ten minutes."

Seth pretended to be all for the drink, attempting in every way to bury the 'Mama's Boy' image Ryan had labeled him with. Gingerly taking his seat on a counter stool, he watched Ryan mix orange juice with the freshly stolen booze.

"And…what exactly are you concocting?"

"Screwdriver."

"That's a screwdriver?"

"Yep." Passing Seth his glass, Ryan raised his to his mouth and drank.

It looked simple. Ryan certainly made it look painless. Raising his own glass with a little more confidence than he should have, Seth poured some of the orange substance into his mouth and immediately his face contorted.

After forcing the mouthful down, "Oh my God what was that?" he coughed.

"Orange juice."

"Orange juice and what???"

"Vodka."

Still coughing, "You only put enough orange juice in there to turn it orange. This tastes like…like…"

"Vodka."

Still eyeballing Ryan and trying to figure out how he could simply swallow his drink as if it were Kool-aid, Seth decided this was a turning point.

"I'm going to drink it."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep." Taking another sip, Seth fought the urge to crinkle his face. "It's good."

Ryan stared at him and a Grinch-like smile formed on his face.

"It is. It's good."

"So why do you look like you're ready to puke then?"

Sighing flamboyantly, "Because I'm destined to be a Mama's Boy," Seth said allowing his head to hit the counter.

Ryan winced at the smacking sound. "Seth…Seth?"

"What?" he mumbled, his forehead still glued to the counter top.

"Alright here," Ryan sighed, pouring more orange juice into Seth's glass. "Try that."

With his most pathetic pout available, Seth raised his head and stared at his glass. "You put more OJ in there?"

"Yep."

Desperately wanting to show Ryan he could be cool with all of this, he took a healthy mouthful. "Hey that's not bad now," he boasted, taking another sip.

"Slow down Seth."

"No it's fine. It's mostly orange juice now."

"Seth that's hard liquor and you have no tolerance."

"I do so have tolerance," he hiccupped back. "Bring it!"

"No. I'm not challenging you to this. I'd bury you in a half hour."

"Ah so I'm right!"

"Right about what?"

"You not having any tolerance! Dude you came home drunk off your ass that one night!"

"Seth I had a ridiculous amount to drink that night. I earned that."

Slapping the counter, "I think you're full of it. I think you're talking tough because this is a weak area for you and you're afraid that I, the Mama's Boy, will actually out do you on this one!"

Holding back a laugh, "Seth, trust me. I can drink circles around you. Besides your parents will be home in a few hours and that won't be enough time for you to sober up. I'm not getting busted over your sorry ass being drunk."

"And now the truth comes out. You're afraid!"

"What is it with you people and this fear thing? I'm not afr…"

"You're afraid of the parents!"

Clucking his tongue against his teeth, "You're gonna regret this. I guarantee you'll never challenge me to drinks again. This will be worth getting in trouble over."


	5. Finding The Right Motivation

Bad Behavior – Chap 5 Finding the Right Motivation

"I didn't expect to see you home just yet. I guess your Dad paroled you early from the budgets huh?"

"Sandy don't say budgets. I don't want to even want to think about numbers right now."

"The good news is there's only one day left until the weekend honey."

"My father doesn't understand the concept of weekends Sandy."

"Come on, let's go in and get dinner ordered, see how the boys are."

Walking in the door they were met with hysterical laughter emanating from the kitchen. Looking at each other, they couldn't even begin to imagine that the boys' day alone could have been that much of a success.

"I guess that cigarette you gave him really did improve his mood. Can you give him one every morning?"

"Sandy, don't count your chickens just yet."

Entering the kitchen they discovered the source of the laughter and their mouths dropped open. Ryan was sitting slouched at the kitchen table and Seth was on the floor with his t-shirt half pulled off his body trapping his arms and his head inside the twisted material. A bottle of Vodka, three-quarters empty, stood on the kitchen table.

"I don't believe this! What is going on in here?!" Sandy demanded.

Still smiling, Ryan turned his head in the direction of Sandy's anger while Seth mumbled an 'uh oh' from the floor and stopped thrashing against his shirt.

"I don't believe this! You're both drunk!" Kirsten's voice squeaked somewhere between anger, frustration and astonishment.

"I'm not drunk," Ryan argued back.

"Well good for you!" Pointing at Seth she spoke flatly to Ryan. "Then get up and help him!"

Still sitting frozen in his position, like a slug bound by his shirt, Seth let Ryan pull his shirt off the rest of the way. Glancing at his infuriated parents, Seth leaned in to Ryan and whispered, "Hey…do they know?"

Doing his best to control a laugh, "Yeah Seth. They know."

Winking at Ryan, "I got this," he slurred.

"Think so? Okay man," Ryan acknowledged, standing up and backing away.

Looking around at the floor Seth realized he had a problem and waved Ryan back over, "Maybe if you helped me up firs…"

Pulling Seth to his feet, Ryan watched him steady himself against the counter before turning to face his parents.

Not able to hold back his frustration any longer, Sandy exploded, "Just what did you think you were doing in here today?"

"Srues."

"What???"

"Huh? Oh, um…srues. Actually it's sruers. What's that word Ry?"

Laughing out loud at Seth's answer, Ryan caused Sandy to turn his attention to him. Clearing his throat, "He's trying to say screwdrivers," Ryan explained.

"Screwdrivers…well that's just great! Where did you get the booze?"

Suddenly things weren't so funny. Ryan canned his laughter and looked down at the floor.

Kirsten jumped on the opportunity to throw the day's events back in his lap. "I met you halfway this morning. You were told to stay home and to stay out of trouble. I hope you enjoyed that cigarette this morning, it'll be your last."

Drunken Seth quickly piped up, "Oh he doesn't care, he's got two more."

Grinding his teeth, Ryan closed his eyes attempting to stay in control.

"Oh he does? Where are they?" When Ryan didn't respond, "Sandy, take Seth upstairs and let him sleep some of that off. I want him to hear me yelling at him tomorrow. I want to talk to Ryan alone."

Sensing this talk was going to be a heated one, Ryan took a seat on the barstools and watched Sandy direct a staggering Seth out of the kitchen.

Kirsten stood across the counter, drumming her fingers. Ryan had discovered this was one of her 'tells' when she wasn't sure what to say.

"I thought we had an understanding this morning. Did you think you'd get away with this?"

"No. As a matter of fact I told Seth this would be worth getting in trouble over."

"So then why do this? If you knew you were going to get caught?"

Looking Kirsten square in the eyes, "To teach Seth a lesson."

"To teach Seth a lesson? What was the lesson, "How to Become a Juvenile Delinquent in Five Easy Steps?"

Turning away from Kirsten, Ryan returned to grinding his teeth and his chest rose and fell evenly, a familiar rumble of anger growing inside him.

"You've made some poor choices since you came here Ryan and I've got to tell you, this tops the list. I am extremely disappointed in you. Seth isn't anything like you and he'll never be anything like you as long as I have a say so in…"

"Who the hell do you think you are? Huh? Sure this looks great on paper to all the friends you're trying to impress. Right? I can see it now, 'yeah we took in this kid, he's rotten but we're trying.' You don't even know what's going on in your damn house! Before you try saving me maybe you should be looking a little closer to home first."

"Ryan…"

Before she could get anything further out, he was up and gone. She'd started to learn to read between the lines when it came to Ryan and there was obviously something there but damned if she could figure it out. Taking a chance on fueling an already raging attitude, she went to the pool house. There she found Ryan standing with his back to her, smoking a cigarette. Her drunken son had told the truth. Somehow, he had obtained more smokes.

Hearing her enter his room, "If you tell me I can't have this, I'm going to go postal," he warned over his shoulder.

"You're not in a position to be calling the shots. But, for the time being, I'm willing to compromise. I'll let you keep that one but you have to take it outside on the patio, and…you have to talk to me. There's no smoking in this house. You've already bent that rule in half, a little more pressure and I'm sure we'll both hear the snap."

Ryan stood still a moment longer before walking past Kirsten in a huff. On the patio his trademark glare met with Kirsten's own frown of frustration.

"I want to know what happened today Ryan. And I want to know what you meant by what you said in there."

His eyes piercing hers, he raised his hand to his mouth for another hit before finally looking away from her and taking a seat at the patio table. Considering that was about as submissive as Ryan would ever be, Kirsten immediately took a seat across from him. Again his eyes drifted across the table and locked with hers. It was apparent he had his guard up and she expected nothing less from him.

"Okay. Let's start simple. The booze and the cigarettes, where did they come from?"

Narrowing his eyes, Ryan sat back in his chair giving a disgusted shake of his head. All the while keeping his eyes locked with Kirsten's.

"Fine. I'll assume you 'acquired' them through questionable means. Don't do it again…and when I say don't do it again, I mean it."

Ryan's expression hadn't changed and his cold stare gave Kirsten the chills.

"Now, what lesson where you trying to teach Seth? I want an honest answer Ryan."

"You really don't have a clue, do you?"

"A clue about what?"

"Your son. Pffft. I thought it was only my family that didn't pay attention to their kids. No wonder you don't know what to do with me, you haven't even figured out what to do with him."

Holding her breath at Ryan's comment, Kirsten searched his face looking for more information, but got nothing. Ryan was definitely street-wise and his experiences, albeit, not the best ones, had given him a very rough education. It was that background that unnerved Kirsten. He seemed to understand people with frightening accuracy. To hear that he seemed to know something about Seth…well that had her wondering.

"Ryan I don't understand what you're getting at. Sandy and I are very…"

"Clueless. Look, the place I come from couldn't be any farther from what Newport is like and I mean that in every sense. You've never had to steal food because you hadn't had a meal in three days. You've never had to break into a car or a building so you'd have somewhere to sleep for the night that was dry and warm and where the cops wouldn't find you. I'm like Disneyland to Seth. I'm a damn attraction."

Ryan's explanation came to an abrupt halt leaving Kirsten hanging. He turned his attention out to the ocean. He appeared to be regrouping his thoughts. Kirsten on the other hand was trying to absorb every ounce of his explanation. She wanted to keep him talking…she needed something that would grab his attention.

"Do you still go down to the pier, to be alone?"

The question jarred his attention back to the table. He turned his eyes to the side to acknowledge her. She could tell the wheels were turning in his head.

"I only followed you once, back when you first came here," she lied. "I was afraid you were leaving."

"I used to go sit on the pier everyday. Can't do that in Chino. I'd look at the boats way out and wish I was on one of them. I would just wish to be anywhere but here. Wish to be anyone other than who I am."

For the second time in the same conversation he shocked her with one of his comments. For such a tough kid, a kid that previously told her he wouldn't change, he just admitted that he wished he had a better life. That information came through between the lines loud and clear.

"You're life can be anything you want it to be Ryan. We just need to find something that motivates you in that direction. We haven't found it yet."

Letting his eyes drop to the table, her words swirled in his mind. How he wanted to believe that was true. But life wasn't like that where he came from. Where he came from, dreams were built only to be shattered. It was in the middle of this mindset that he realized her anger had subsided to a point. She was no longer yelling and angry. She was talking to him. For reasons he couldn't explain, he felt the need to meet her half way. Just as he had done when he returned after being missing for those weeks.

Biting his lip, "I know I'm not the best example out there. More importantly, I know how you and Sandy feel about Seth. It's just…" he paused trying to select the right words. "Ever since I got here…he wants to be me." Off Kirsten's look, "I know, I know. I agree and I've tried telling him, hell I've even been mean to him since the day I got here trying to put him off but nothing works. He thinks my life is one big adventure."

"He said that to you?"

"Yes. And some days I'm just not in the mood to deal with it and today was one of them." Looking at Kirsten's face he realized he was going to have to spell everything out for her. "Look you and I both know he's not me and he's never gonna be like me. And for the record, I'm not trying to make him like me as a matter of fact I've been trying to get him to hate me. Everything I've done was to show him there's nothing great about anything I do."

Folding her arms, "Everything you've done?"

Ryan's eyes immediately closed, his head rolling to the side in frustration for opening that can of worms. When he glanced back to Kirsten, her raised eyebrows prompting him to provide a suitable explanation.

"Jesus Christ."

"I'm okay with this conversation so far Ryan. I may not like the topics, but I'd rather if you were honest with me. Don't tell me everything from day one, but tell me about today. I'd love to know how he ended up drunk and stuck in his t-shirt on the kitchen floor."

A smile flickered across Ryan's face before he was able to contain it. "That was pretty funny. Honesty. Right. Boredom usually breeds bad ideas and today was no different. He challenged me."

"And?"

"And that's it. Even you knew what I would have done had you said 'no' when I asked you for a cigarette this morning. He challenged me and he tried to portray a bigger set of ba….you know…than he had. I called his bluff and the day just evolved from there."

"Okay," Kirsten paused trying to play out the day's events in her head before continuing. "So, Seth attempted to call your bluff, but since you don't bluff, you acted on it and then you called his bluff and decided to have some fun at his expense knowing he would go to pieces?"

"Yeah. Basically."

"That was an evil thing to do Ryan. He looks up to you."

Ryan stared at Kirsten for a moment trying to make sense of what she just said. The thought of being a mentor for someone never crossed his mind. He thought Seth was just obsessed with his daredevil lifestyle.

"He looks up to me?" Ryan repeated quietly.

"Yes, he does. He doesn't have any siblings Ryan. Good or bad, to him you're the neatest thing since the skateboard."

Ryan looked away, confused. This information was coming of out left field. Kirsten smiled to herself. Maybe, just maybe, she found the right thing to motivate Ryan onto the right path.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about Ryan?"

Still sidetracked by Kirsten's comment he shook his head.

"Alright then Ryan, that's it for today. You go to your room, that's where you'll be spending the evening. I'll bring your dinner to you. I'm going to think on your punishment and we'll discuss it in the morning."

"Okay," Ryan stated softly. Standing up he extinguished his cigarette in the can Kirsten had provided for him earlier that day and headed towards the pool house.

"Ryan…" When he paused and looked at her, "Thank you for being honest with me."

Nodding, he continued on his way.

"Okay Ryan, rise and shine. Time for your sentencing."

Groaning, he rolled over to see Kirsten standing next to his bed. "Kirsten it's seven o'clock. I have no doubt I'm grounded so can't I be sentenced at say, ten?"

Smiling, "No. You're sentencing has to be now, because you're punishment has already started."

"It has?"

"Uh huh. I need you to get up and meet me in the kitchen. I'd hurry if I were you."

Ryan gave Kirsten a concerned look as she left the pool house in a hurry. Getting himself together quickly, he headed toward the kitchen to see what the day would hold for him.

Pausing just inside the kitchen door, his attention was drawn to the objects on the kitchen table. "What's all this?"

"Oh that would be the start of your punishment. You have some cleaning to do."

Blinking in a still half asleep stupor, "Cleaning?"

"Yes. Cleaning. It was your idea to get Seth drunk yesterday so you're going to start your punishment by cleaning."

Wrinkling his face a bit, "I take it he puked…"

"You could say that. You'll start in his room specifically his bed, then his floor…oh and watch where you're walking in the hallway on your way up there."

Ryan groaned again. "Did he even try to make it to the bathroom?"

"Ah, complaining. And this coming from the same guy that drenched my foyer floor not so long ago."

Biting his lip, Ryan looked away from Kirsten.

"He's in the bathroom now. Check on him while you're up there. I'd get started if I were you."

Grabbing the bucket and the cleaning supplies, Ryan walked past Kirsten. She was surprised that he was going along with the punishment. Then again, he hadn't seen the mess upstairs just yet.

Coming across the mess in the hallway, Ryan set down his supplies and began to sop up the mess with paper towels, placing them in a garbage bag. Hearing Seth moaning down the hall, he remembered he was supposed to check on him.

"Hey man."

Looking as if he'd been hit by a truck, Seth kept his head hung over the toilet and wiggled his fingers at Ryan.

"Ryan…make it stop…"

"I tried to warn you man."

"Next time warn me and mean it. I'm dying."

Chuckling, "You'll live. Maybe next time you'll listen."

"How do you do this? I mean seriously Ryan. According to you, you do this often. I don't ever want to do this again."

"I don't know. After a while you get numb to it I guess. You can't live in a house full of alcoholics and not learn to tolerate booze…not to mention puking. So now will you promise me you won't make a habit out of this?"

"Yes, I swear."

"And when I stole the booze? If I ever catch you stealing anything…"

"I won't…I swear. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry…"

Seth's apology was cut short by another round of heaving. "Oh God Ryan this sucks so bad. My parents are going to be infuriated with me. What do I do Ryan? What do I say to them? This isn't like me. You were right, I'm a Mama's boy and Mama's boys don't do this."

"There's nothing wrong with you Seth. I said that to you to make sure you kept away from the things I was getting into. You're a good kid. Me? I'm a mess. What's worse is that your parents are really trying with me. I can see it. I just know I'm going to let them down and I'll be back in Chino, or worse, in no time. It's the curse of being an Atwood. We screw up everything."

Turning to face Ryan, a pale Seth offered his best advice. "You're too hard on yourself man. There's a good guy under there somewhere. Face it, if there wasn't, you wouldn't be looking out for a geek like me."

Keeping silent, Ryan let Seth's words soak in. Kirsten's words from the night before about Seth looking up to him whirled in his head as well. Raising his head to consider those thoughts, he was shocked to find Kirsten leaning against the doorframe to the bathroom, out of Seth's view. She'd heard everything.

Seth continued to wrestle with his upset stomach even though there was nothing left to toss. He had no idea about the silent exchange going on between his Mom and Ryan. "Ryan, tell me what to do," he said softly through a raspy voice. "My Mom's going to kill me."

Looking right at Kirsten, "Tell her your sorry," he replied just as quietly.

Kirsten could tell he was having a sincere moment. Considering what he had shared with Seth and now he knew she'd overheard it all, surely he was feeling vulnerable as well. She enjoyed these genuine peaks at Ryan, when he didn't have his guard up, when he wasn't acting tough. Raising her head in a single nod, she acknowledged his apology. Even though he was talking to Seth, that apology was meant for her and she knew it.

"Seth I gotta get back to work."

"Work?"

"Since I got you drunk I have to clean up the mess you made. You're mom will be coming up soon to make sure I'm doing it. I'll check on you in a little bit."

"Ryan man, promise me this will stop. I can't take much more of this."

Offering a crooked smile to the back of Seth's head, "Hang in there man, it'll stop."

Pushing off the vanity Ryan walked slowly up to Kirsten and regarded her a moment before leaving the bathroom. Kirsten put her hand on his back as he passed through the doorway. Seth had called it. There really was a good kid under that tough skin. Kirsten hoped to see more of him as time went on.

After Ryan had stepped back into the hallway, Kirsten decided it was time to approach Seth. "Seth…"

"Mom," he garbled. "Mom…I'm sorry."


	6. Turning the Tides

Bad Behavior – Chapter 6 Turning the Tides

"Why do you make me go to these things? You know I hate 'em," Ryan pouted sitting down on the foyer stairs watching Kirsten put her earrings on using the mirror in the front hall.

"Ryan, please. We've already been through this. A, This is one of the most prestigious events in Newport. Everyone and their families will be attending. B, You're grounded and I'm not letting you out of my sight. And C, you look so cute in a suit!"

"I would look just as cute in a t-shirt," he argued back, trying to wiggle free as Kirsten adjusted his tie and brushed his bangs out of his eyes.

"Dude, you still complaining? Come on I'm sure we can find something to do to keep us busy."

"Boys, you'll be sitting at the table with your family."

"Aw, Ryan's going to have a family moment. That's nice."

Glaring at Seth, Ryan stood up casually, took dead aim and leaned into a punch that landed square in the bicep. The blow caught Seth off guard and he fell against the wall.

"Ow! Damn Ryan!"

"Boys, that's enough. Behave."

"Don't be reprimanding me Mom, this is all on Ryan."

"You want another one?"

"Ryan…Seth, I said that's enough."

"Ah the sounds of a family preparing for an evening from hell," Sandy mocked, coming down the stairs.

"Sandy please do not egg them on."

"Honey, you can't blame them. This is one of those girl things. What if the boys and I just stayed home?"

All three men looked at Kirsten with hopeful eyes.

"No Sandy! This is a family event and I am going with my family! The boys are still under wraps for that little drinking escapade of theirs. If they are miserable today then consider it time served. You're going. They're going. We're all going. Unless you want to be in trouble too…"

Sandy and the boys exchange a look. "Sorry guys. I tried."

This was only the third gathering like this that Ryan had been to, but he knew the protocol forwards and backwards by now. The parties were all the same. Sitting at the table after dinner, bored out of his mind, he looked questionably at Seth who was busying himself building 'things' out of sugar cubes and matchbooks. His thoughts were distracted when a woman with a particularly shrill voice approached the table.

"Kirsten, so good to see you! Beautiful party! Oh, is this the juvenile? I've heard about him," she stated with disapproval.

Ryan shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Evelyn, hello! This is Ryan," Kirsten introduced.

Ryan flashed a quick, crooked and embarrassed smile, "Hey."

"So just how much trouble is he? I hear he keeps you on your toes," Evelyn stated just as dryly as her first dig.

Ryan and the Cohens sat speechless until Kirsten refuted her comment. "Evelyn, he's a great kid. Any sixteen year old can keep a parent on their toes. Newport needs to give him a chance."

Leaning over to Kirsten, "I'll be right back," Ryan whispered.

Grabbing his arm before he could rise from the table, "Ryan, you don't have to leave. She doesn't know you. Don't let this upset you, just ignore her."

"Actually I need to use the bathroom."

Kirsten's look said she was questioning the truth behind that statement.

"You don't believe me. You think I'm upset and I'm going storming off."

"Yes."

"I'm not." Ryan could tell Kirsten still wasn't buying it. Sighing, "If this is about me leaving your sight, there's a bush right behind her I could just…"

Gasping, "RYAN! Don't you dare!" Kirsten warned.

A taunting smile crept across his face, "Ah, you're no fun," he mocked standing up. Leaning into Kirsten one more time, "Don't think I don't already know you'd love to give these people a shock yourself. You're not like them. If you were, I'd still be in juvie."

"Alright, alright. I believe you. Go to the bathroom and come straight back here…and…don't ever tell anyone that I'm interested in shocking the uptight and snooty. I'm a respected member of this society, dysfunctional as it is, and I have a reputation to protect…it'll be our little secret."

Capping an escaped laugh, Ryan straightened up, "Got it. Your secret is safe with me."

After Ryan had walked away from the table and Seth had excused himself to get a new Mountain Dew, Sandy moved himself across the empty seats next to Kirsten.

"I couldn't believe Evelyn talked like that right in front of Ryan. No wonder he hates coming to these things. What were you two laughing about?"

Embarrassed to admit the truth, "Oh ah, it's um, sort of..."

"What?" Sandy asked again with a confused smirk.

Stumbling on her words, "I…he…it's just…you had to be there."

"Apparently," Sandy replied, still chuckling.

"You know Sandy, ever since Ryan came along I've learned to look at things with a different perspective. Sometimes I just wish I had his guts. He's a little rough around the edges but when he believes in something, he's unstoppable. It's amazing how aging along with society skews our passion and our convictions. I miss that brave feeling that only someone his age feels."

Bouncing his head in agreement, "Ah honey but with age comes wisdom. And it's that wisdom that helps us separate the nonsense from the things that are worth fighting for.

"Ryan's worth fighting for…"

"Definitely."

Exiting the men's room, Ryan found himself face to face with two of the local pretty boys. Outnumbered in the main hallway with lots of witnesses, the situation was starting to take a rapid down hill plunge.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" the tall one instigated.

"Look's like Chino riff-raff to me," the other one chimed in, stepping up to Ryan, giving him a once over.

Putting his best game face into place, Ryan noticed a hush in the lobby. Without scanning the lobby he could feel the weight of many eyes upon him. Making his best attempt at avoiding a confrontation, saying nothing, he turned away from the boys. The doors to the courtyard were merely a few feet away.

"I'm talking to you punk!" the tall one fueled, grabbing Ryan by the elbow and spinning him around. "Just what I thought. You're all show and no go."

Yanking his arm away from the boy, Ryan attempted a second time to walk away. If he could just get through the doors…but the tall one's sidekick blocked his path.

"Where you going? Huh?"

Not sure how much longer he could hold back, Ryan took a step back and glared at the sidekick. This wasn't going to have a happy ending. And with all these witnesses, and with Ryan's current status as an outcast, it was sinking in that this would probably be his last night in Newport.

"Where's Ryan?" Seth asked, noticing the empty seat at the table.

"Washroom. He should be back any second," Kirsten explained.

"Kirsten? Oh Kirsten…" the shrill voice of Evelyn cut through the atmosphere again. When she finally reached the Cohen's table again, "I'd get inside if I were you. Your boy is fighting in the lobby!"

"Oh my God!" Kirsten yelled, wrestling to push her chair back through the grass.

With the entire Cohen family racing across the courtyard, the crowd parted as they entered the doors just in time to see Ryan take a blow to the face.

"Oh my God! Sandy do something!" Kirsten begged.

Even pushing and shoving couldn't get him to the very front where the boys were. It seemed Newport's elite were rather enjoying watching the kid from Chino get his just punishment.

"Ryan!" Sandy yelled. "Ryan stop! Stop!"

With Seth and Kirsten hot on his heels, Sandy finally made his way to breaking through to the front row of bystanders.

"Is that the best you've got Mama's Boy?" the tall one fueled again.

Taking offense to that comment, "Ryan don't take that crap from him!" Seth shouted.

Before Sandy could detangle himself from the crowd, Ryan found strength in Seth's comment, cocked his arm back and leveled the tall boy to the ground, knocking him out cold. Weak from fighting the two boys, Ryan stumbled backwards and landed on the floor.

"BLAINE!" the boy's mother gasped. Crouching down next to the fallen boy, she slapped his face trying to awaken him. "What have you done?" the woman yelled at Ryan, who was trying to catch his breath.

Sandy had finally reached Ryan and stopped the tall boy's sidekick from retaliating. Taking her position down next to Ryan, Kirsten surveyed his wounds. Ryan looked at her with shameful eyes. This isn't how he wanted the night to go. Not to be left out, Seth parked himself on the floor as well to get a better look at Ryan.

"That…was AWESOME!" Seth boasted with a big ole smile on his face.

Ryan and Kirsten shared a telling look. Kirsten could see now that Seth did in fact consider Ryan to be some sort of super hero.

"Seth, I just got my ass kicked by some guy named Blaine!"

"Yeah but you won! Look, he's just now waking up and his eyes are crossed!"

Blaine's Mother glared across the lobby at the Cohen's plus one. "Well? What do you have to say for yourselves? See what happens when you let someone like him into our community? Why don't you keep that animal on a leash?"

"Oh I've heard about enough…" Sandy said, clearly irritated.

"Sandy, Sandy…don't…" Kirsten pleaded, but he was already on his feet.

Bending back down to Kirsten momentarily, "You told me not ten minutes ago, that you wished you had Ryan's guts. So watch this…"

Ryan sat confused looking back and forth between Kirsten and Sandy. The lobby had fallen silent but Sandy was about to get everyone's attention.

"You know what Margaret, you're in no position to talk. For that matter, none of you are. Why is it that I had to come running from across the courtyard to stop this situation? Look at this, right in front of me, an entire row of parents and yet none of you stepped in before it went this far. This is supposed to be a community that prides itself on helping others. If this is the best my community can offer my family, if this is the best my community can do to protect someone in my family from getting hurt…I'm ashamed. No. Actually all of you should be ashamed. Not to mention, how many of these charity events have we done for less fortunate kids, kids that deserved a second chance?" Sandy paused and pointed at Ryan. "He has every right to be here. I can only hope this community can get it's act together and show one of my sons, the same generosity and warmth you're willing to offer a stranger. And if we can't…then this should be the last charity event we have because the community obviously doesn't have the warm, open hearts we're portraying by having these events."

Turning his back to the stunned crowd, he noticed Ryan looking at him wide-eyed. Before he had a chance to ask Ryan what was wrong, his attention was drawn back to the crowd.

"Sandy," the voice called from the back. The crowd parted allowing a woman carrying an ice pack through. It was Peggy, the event coordinator. "I saw the whole thing. I want you, and everyone else here, to know…your boy didn't do anything wrong. I saw the whole thing. Blaine and Carter started on him the minute he came out of the men's room. He didn't say a word and he even tried to walk away, twice. Blaine threw the first punch and after that, well…having four sons myself, I don't know of any sixteen year old boy that wouldn't try to defend himself."

Walking up to Ryan, she handed him the ice pack and gave him a weak smile.

Mumbling a 'thank you' Ryan immediately put the ice pack on his cheekbone, hoping to stop the persistent ache.

"I don't believe this! Whose side are you on Peggy?" Blaine's Mother protested.

"Oh come off it Margaret! Everyone in this room knows that slab of meat you call a son is an instigator!"

Margaret gasps at the insult.

"Sandy thinks no one stopped the fight because they wanted to see his boy get hurt…I'm betting there are several in this room that wanted to see your boy take a beating for once!"

Whispers of acknowledgement skittered through the crowd.

"Now," Peggy continued. "The bars are still open, I think many of us could use a drink right now, and the dessert tables are prepared out on the courtyard, not to mention, we still have a charity to support tonight so, please, let's get back to the reason for the evening."

Mumbling and whispering again ran rampant through the crowd as it dispersed. Ryan closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair. He didn't want to hear what they were saying. Instead he wanted to bask in the fact that two people, two adults in fact, stood up for him in the same evening. That had to be a first in his book. His enjoyment was cut short by the interruption of Seth's voice.

"Ryan I'm telling you, that was amazing!"

"And I'm telling you, I just got my ass kicked by a guy named after a coffee mug company and his sidekick who's named after an ex-president. That's not cool."

"Yeah but Ryan…"

"Seth…this may be cool to you, but if I wanted to live like this, I could have stayed in Chino."

Seth was finally getting Ryan's drift. While it might be exciting to watch him work over the same guys Seth could only hope to squash, he also realized he wasn't feeling what Ryan was feeling right now. Pain.

Kirsten could see Ryan had taken their conversation to heart. The interaction between the boys couldn't be more obvious, Seth putting Ryan on a pedestal and Ryan stepping down from that honor. He didn't want Seth following in his footsteps. She admired the way Ryan could get Seth to understand without preaching to him. The groundwork was there. She had no doubt the two could become close friends if given the chance. They understood each other. And whether Ryan recognized it or not, they had a bond.

"You okay kid?" Sandy asked, squatting down by the rest of his family.

"Yeah. I'll be alright."

"You know what you need Ryan?" Kirsten asked, changing the subject.

"What?"

"Dessert! Dessert always makes everything better!" she smiled.

Ryan gave a weak nod, "I want chocolate cake," he answered, wincing against the sting of the ice pack.

"Chocolate cake it is…dessert and then home guys. I think we've had enough fun for one night."

Sandy was up bright and early the next morning, he hoped catching some waves would clear his head. The night had been consumed by tossing and turning and concerns for Ryan. With the start of school only a month away, he hoped that Newport would settle down and give this kid a chance.

Stepping onto the sand, he watched the waves. They calmed him. They cleared his head. He loved these early mornings. The beach was basically bare with only the diehard surfers out at this hour. Allowing his vision to trail across the beach, his eyes focused in on a form sitting, leaning against the base of the lifeguard tower. Walking toward the figure, he laid his surfboard down.

"Now you're the last person I expected to see awake at this hour," Sandy joked.

Startled, Ryan turned around to face him.

Taking a seat on the sand, "You know you're breaking your house arrest by coming here."

"Yeah I know. I needed to clear my head."

"Funny, that's the same reason I came here. What's on your mind?"

"Yesterday was pretty…mind boggling," Ryan explained.

"Well you know, some times things just happen. Some times things can't be prevented no matter how hard we try."

"Yeah but…you told everyone I was part of your family. You told them I was your son," Ryan blushed with a straight face.

"You are," Sandy confirmed. "Not by blood of course, but, anything I would do for Seth I would certainly do for you as well."

Ryan stared at him a moment before returning his gaze to the ocean.

"Ryan, we want you to be a part of our family…and we want everyone to know you're part of our family."

"I just wish I could get through one day, just one, where everything goes right."

"Ryan nobody's life is like that. Nobody's life is perfect. If you're lucky, the good outweighs the bad but it's rare when the stars align and it's problem free. And if it is, guess what? Then you stand by, waiting for the axe to fall to ruin its perfection. There's almost more anxiety when it's perfect."

"I know I just…just once you know? So people can see I'm not what they think."

Sandy pondered that comment a moment, "Since when do you worry about what other people think? You mean you really can't kick ass?"

Laughing, "The hell I can't! I think I've proven that fact!"

"Look, Ryan, you should know that Kirsten and I are proud of the way you handled things yesterday."

"Sandy, I knocked the kid out cold."

"Well, yes, that's true. But, we're aware that you tried to prevent that from happening. Several other people came up to me after Peggy made her little speech in the foyer and they acknowledged what had happened, that you were truly provoked and you didn't swing first. In this town, that's huge. These people rarely point the finger at one of their own."

Offering a crooked smile, Ryan nodded and looked away. "I hope you realize that's not the last time they're gonna come after me." Tipping his head to the side, he watched Sandy and waited for his reaction. He hoped Sandy was getting his hint that it probably wouldn't be the last time he'd be in a fight.

"Let's just get one thing straight. I would always prefer you walk away from a fight. Fighting only fuels the problem at hand, it only makes it bigger. It certainly doesn't make it go away. However, if someone attacks you, I expect you to defend yourself. Don't just stand there and let someone hurt you. Now some days there might be a fine line between the two, and I guarantee you there's going to be some guys in this town that you'd love to take a swing at."

"And?"

"And you're going to have to make some judgment calls…and I'm going to have to trust you'll use your best judgment. You know with school just around the corner…"

"School???"

"Don't look so surprised…yes school. What did you think you were going to do, hang out in the pool house all day and wait for Seth to come home?"

Ryan shrugged and suddenly was very interested in twisting his watch around his wrist just right.

"Why didn't you go to school in Chino? Your truancies…why didn't you go? You're a smart kid."

Shrugging again Ryan hoped to ignore the question.

"The truth Ryan," Sandy pressed. Ryan seemed to tell Kirsten the truth when she worded things like that, maybe it would work now.

Sighing deeply, "There were lots of reasons."

"Such as?"

Turning to Sandy, Ryan attempted a glare but saw that Sandy wasn't going to back down. Sighing again, he offered a bit of explanation.

"Sometimes, if the night before had been bad, I was just too tired to go. Sometimes I wasn't in the mood to explain how I got another black eye when then previous one had just healed. Sometimes I did it to avoid teachers who I knew would come down on me, looking for missing assignments. And sometimes I did it just because I knew it would piss my Mom off."

Nodding at Ryan's explanation, "Well hopefully you won't want to piss us off, too much. And no one here is going to hit you. If we really want you miserable we'll force you to eat some of Kirsten's cooking."

"School huh?"

"Yep."

"So you're really serious about me staying then, I mean, school isn't for a few weeks yet."

"Serious as a heart attack. How does it make you feel?"

"What?"

"Having people want you. Having a family that's interested and invested in your life, your future."

"It's weird," Ryan admitted nervously.

"You're farther ahead of the game that you think kid. You promised Kirsten you'd try. As long as you stick to that you'll do just fine. Just remember we're here for you, no matter what. And I mean no matter what. No one said it would be easy, but the Cohens plus one…it's an unbeatable combination!"

Ryan smiled at the waves trying not to let Sandy see his enjoyment in that last comment. Sandy, in the meantime, stood up and grabbed hold of his surfboard.

"Alright Ryan, the waves are calling me and you better get your tail back home before Kirsten wakes up and finds you gone. You'll be on house arrest until Christmas if that happens. I'll see you at home."

"Home…" Ryan mumbled to himself under his breath, unaware that Sandy had heard him.

"Yes Ryan…at home. My home. Your home. Our home. Where our family is."

Giving Ryan one last smile to seal that comment, Sandy turned and waded into the water before paddling out.

Standing up, Ryan heeded his warning and started for home. Home. He liked the sound of that. His family back in Chino, that wasn't home. That was just a house. For this first time he was beginning to understand what a home really was.


	7. School of Hard Knocks

Bad Behavior – Chapter 7

School of Hard Knocks

"Good luck today boys," Kirsten encouraged, dropping them off in front of the school.

Today was going to be nerve racking for everyone. Seth hated school because, well, it was school. He hated the way the other kids treated him. Kirsten was worried about Ryan. He had been withdrawn and quiet the previous few days. A sign to Kirsten there were 'things' running through his head that he wasn't talking about. And Ryan carried enough weight for everyone.

He hated to admit it, but life with the Cohens wasn't so bad. He could see himself staying there. Hell it was the first place he'd ever been where someone actually wanted him around and no one ever laid a hand on him. Because of that, he was overwhelmed with the responsibility of doing well at school. Something in him had changed since the summer. He felt he owed it to them. But, what if he couldn't cut it? What if he just couldn't take it? What would the Cohen's think? Would they change their minds and kick him out? Those thoughts triggered new concerns about what was waiting for him. The kids. The whispering. The taunting. The provoking. He was still the tough kid from Chino and he'd made up his mind days before that he wasn't going to take crap from anyone. If someone started in on him, he'd let them have it with both barrels cocked and deal with the fallout later. He'd made a name for himself in Chino. People there knew he could hold his own. That he was tough. If need be, he'd make that name for himself here as well.

After Kirsten had driven away, the boys stood on the sidewalk for a moment. Ryan gawked at the property.

"This is school?"

"Yep."

"This looks like a mall."

"It's pretty close. Come on, let's get your locker assignment."

Leading Ryan into the main office, Seth walked right past all the jocks calling him names and laughing.

"Why do take that from them?" Ryan asked once they were out of earshot.

"Well, Ryan, if you'll notice, I don't exactly have your physique. I work that whole Mama's Boy thing rather well and as you can see, it's not exactly intimidating."

"I told you, you're not a Mama's Boy. Remember our conversation, that day you were puking?"

"Uh uh, don't…talk…about that. I don't wanna remember that."

"Why? I meant what I said…"

"Not that. I don't want to rehash the puking. Once was enough…"

"Can I help you boys?" the secretary asked, irritated with their presence.

"Yes. He's new to the school, needs a locker assignment," Seth explained.

"Name?" she demanded rather matter-of-factly, looking at Ryan.

"Ryan Atwood."

The secretary did a double take before rifling through some files and writing down a locker number. Seth grabbed the paper the second she set it down on the counter.

"Does he have to have this one? I mean, isn't there another one…somewhere else…like on the other side of the quad?"

"What's wrong with that one?" Ryan asked, wondering what Seth knew about the locker assignment.

"Young man, lockers are not negotiable. You get what you get. Good day boys," she huffed, walking away from them.

"Seth, tell me."

Turning the paper around to reveal Ryan's locker assignment, "You got locker 417. You're gonna be in water polo player hell. Remember the goons at that one charity night? Blaine and Carter?"

"Yeah."

"Imagine about fifteen of them…with lockers assigned all around yours."

Starting to get the idea of how bad this was going to be, "Great. I'll be expelled by third period."

"Nooooo. No, you can't get expelled. You can't leave me here alone, I've done it alone and it sucks. We'll think of something. Come on, I'll lead you into hell."

"Ryan Atwood?"

The voice stopped the boys in their tracks. Turning around they found an Oriental woman coming from behind the counter. She had a stern look on her face. By her suit, her aggravated expression and the fact that she knew his name, Ryan immediately assumed she was the Dean.

"Seth," she acknowledged, before turning her attention back to Ryan.

"Ryan, this is Dr. Kim. She's the Dean here at Harbor. She's normally in a much better mood."

Dr. Kim took a moment to glare at Seth but quickly went back to laying down the law to Ryan.

"Mr. Atwood…" He didn't like her tone right off the bat. He knew where this was heading. "As the head of this school, I feel it's important that we know where each other stands. This is a school, not a fight club or a street corner. The only reason you are in this school in the first place is because of who your foster parents are. However, I will not hesitate to expel you if your actions become…inappropriate. Surprisingly, you tested very well. I strongly suggest you keep to yourself and concentrate on your studies."

Seth's mouth was agape, speechless at the Dean's rant. Ryan's heart was pounding and he fought to stay in control after her sarcastic and degrading speech. He was expecting problems with other kids, not necessarily with teachers, let alone the Dean. She was definitely a Newpsie. She would be watching and waiting for him to screw up. It wouldn't take much and she'd make sure he was thrown out of her school for good.

Glaring back at her, "Well, I'm sure if the rest of Harbor High welcomes me as warmly as you did, I can't imagine why I'd have any problems," Ryan countered.

His comment, loaded with attitude and dripping of sarcasm, set the Dean back. His glare rivaled hers. She wasn't expecting him to take that route. She could see he wouldn't be easily contained.

"I better go find my locker. Wouldn't want to get a tardy on my first day in this fine institution." Turning his back on her as she folded her arms across her chest, he walked out of the office. Seth, feeling suddenly uncomfortable scurried after him.

Once they were a safe distance away from the front hall, "Ryan, you have to tell my Mom about this."

"Seth, it's no big deal."

"No big deal? Are you nuts? Ryan, you don't have to take that. Not any more. Not if you're with me…with us."

Stopping in the middle of the hallway, Ryan gave a small smile at Seth's attempt to back him up. "Seth, look," he paused, looking at his surroundings. "I don't…I don't know if this is going to work out."

"Ryan, dude, come on. Don't say that. It's only the first day…"

"Exactly. I got a locker assignment in the middle of Newport's version of the Hell's Angels according to you and don't think for a second that wasn't done on purpose. And the Dean is already cracking her knuckles looking to string me up and throw me out of here. I've only been here for fifteen minutes."

Looking defeated with the realization that Ryan was indeed being targeted, "I hate to sound like such a Mama's Boy, but I don't want you to go. This was gonna be a great year you know. A new start for you and I'd actually have someone to hang with. We can't let them do this. I won't let them do this. Whatever you need…I'm there."

Locking eyes with Seth, Ryan could see the sincerity and the seriousness behind that comment. "Seth, I would never let you do anything that would jeopardize…"

"Who said anything about doing anything wrong? You didn't. I didn't. Nope. We're not doing anything wrong. We're totally cool."

Laughing at Seth's suggestion. "Kill 'em with kindness huh?"

"They won't know what hit them. They'll all have the same look on their face like Dr. Kim…which, by the way, I thought your rebuttal was going to crack her face! You blew her out of the water!"

"I'm not so good with the kindness Seth."

"We'll just…give it a shot and see what happens. Besides, what you did in the office was insanely perfect! Curt, rude and right to the heart of the matter and you didn't break any rules in the process! Now I could stand to see a lot more of that!"

"Now that I can do!"

"Hey Ryan…" Seth's tone changed to serious.

"What?"

"Promise me one thing. If this gets to be too much…and you decide to leave again…Promise me you'll tell me you're leaving."

Realizing he really was Seth's only friend, "Yeah man I promise. But I'm not going anywhere just yet," he smirked.

The first bell rang, only four more minutes until the second bell, signaling the start of the first class. Showing Ryan his locker and its 'Death Valley' location would have to wait until later. With the intention of meeting up at lunch, they headed in opposite directions looking for their first period classes.

By lunchtime Ryan's head was killing him. He walked into the student lounge and threw himself down on one of the posh leather chairs. Leaning his head back he closed his eyes for a moment hoping to stop the pounding in his head.

"Hey, I see you had a great morning," Seth mocked, tossing his books down and taking a seat in the chair across from Ryan.

"This is a nightmare," he offered, rubbing his aching head. "I don't belong here."

"Yes you do. We're not going to let them drive you out, oh no. We're going to fight this tooth and nail," Seth pepped, raising his cup of coffee and toasting the air.

Opening his eyes, Ryan studied Seth momentarily. "Seth, it's only lunch."

"Yes that's true."

"Since your Mom dropped us off, I've managed to get the locker assignment next to hell's gate, get my ass chewed out by the Dean, not to mention every teacher I've met between then and now and I've had four water polo players get in my face in the hallway."

Listening intently, Seth nodded. "You've had a busy morning."

"I think I'm gonna blow off the afternoon. I've gotta get out of here."

"Ryan, dude, come on. You can't do that."

"Give me one good reason why not."

"Okay. How about…Dr. Kim behind you about ten feet to your right?"

"Son of a bitch!" Ryan mumbled leaning his head against the chair once more. "Seth I'm gonna go nuts here. I can't do this."

"Yes you can. Give it a chance. This is the first day. The first day is always the hardest. It'll get better."

"And if it doesn't?"

"We'll think of something buddy."

Entering the kitchen, Kirsten placed a bag of groceries on the counter and noticed Ryan laying on the couch in the family room. Walking over to check on him she found him asleep, unusual for Ryan. Placing her hand on his forehead she attempted to see if he was running a fever but instead scared the daylights out of him and he awoke, startled.

"Oh Ryan, I'm sorry. It's not like you to sleep during the day. I was worried maybe you were sick. I thought maybe you had a fever or something."

"Nah," he said quietly, raising himself to a sitting position. "Just a really long day."

"It's been a long time since you've been to school huh?" She watched him nod in agreement, yawning. "How was it?"

His body language told her it hadn't been a good day, but she wanted to hear it from him.

"You can admit it sucked," she laughed.

He offered one of his crooked smiles, before dropping his eyes to his hands. "I know I told you I'd try, and I am…it's just…" licking his lips he shook his head. He didn't want to have to explain anything.

"Ryan what happened today?" she asked now clearly concerned.

In true Ryan fashion, he replied giving her only enough information to tell her 'something' and yet 'nothing' at all.

"The day was everything I expected it to be…at times even worse."

She watched him carefully. She learned Ryan often said a lot without saying much. It was a matter of paying attention.

"Kirsten I don't know if I can do this…"

"Oh Ryan honey, listen to me," she soothed, sitting on the coffee table in front of him. "This is one of the best school's in the state. You have every right to be there. Don't let anyone or anything stop you from becoming what you want to be."

Even though her words sounded poetic, he knew the rules were different for a kid like him. "That's the part you don't understand…I'm not the one that's being close-minded. You can't put a Styrofoam cup on a table full of China and expect everyone to ignore it. Sooner or later someone's going to throw that cup out."

The comment horrified Kirsten. "Ryan, did someone threaten to hurt you? If they did, you tell me about it right now," she demanded, concern evident on her face.

"No, nothing like that."

"What then? Ryan please tell me."

Shrugging his shoulders, "Everyone's just waiting to pounce on me. They're all watching and waiting. All I have to do is breathe wrong and it'll be over."

"Ryan…"

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Seth says it's just because it's the first day. That things will quiet down once the school year gets rolling. I guess we'll see. If it's okay with you, I'm gonna go lay down on my bed. Not really hungry."

"Sure…if you change your mind…"

He nodded before turning and walking away. She watched him leave, dejected. Her mind raced wondering what had happened at school that had upset him so. It was unlike Ryan to be upset and passive. The Ryan she knew would normally be upset and angry, violent even. Something got to him to today. Sandy would hear of this, she would make sure of that. And if things were truly as bad as he hinted to, she knew it was only a matter of time before some of the underlying events from today reared their ugly heads again.

The week dragged on and Ryan managed to limp through it relatively unscathed. He wasn't sure how he did it, but he did. When the last bell rang on Friday afternoon, he made a beeline for the door. Waiting for Seth at the foot of the steps he watched Newport's offspring pile into their Beamers and Navigators and the like. The parking lot and the grounds were nearly empty by the time Seth emerged from the building.

"What the hell took so long?" Ryan complained, tired of waiting.

"Ugh, I asked Mr. Phelps a simple yes or no question and I got a twenty minute answer. Sorry to keep you waiting. Let's get out of here."

"Ryan Atwood…"

The hair on Ryan's neck stood up. He knew that voice. Turning around, sure enough, it was Dr. Kim standing in the teacher's parking lot.

"Could you come here please?"

"Here we go again," Ryan moaned. "You better come with me…"

"You're afraid of Dr. Kim?" Seth asked, shocked.

"No Seth, I want a witness to whatever she says to me."

"Oh! Right. Got it. I'm your guy."

Crossing the student lot, the boys stopped just short of Dr. Kim. Ryan had already changed his demeanor given the reception he received on their last confrontation.

Dr. Kim took a deep breath and crossed her arms. This seemed to be her favorite stance when talking to Ryan. "I was wondering if you would do something for me."

Narrowing his eyes at her, "What?" Ryan asked with reservation.

"I locked my keys in my car."

The statement got Ryan to laugh out loud before biting his lip in frustration. "You have got to be kidding me. Let me get this straight…I'm not good enough to attend your school, but I am good enough to break into your car for you? I don't think so."

"Ryan, you're the one with the unusual talents. I've seen your file."

"Well you obviously haven't seen all of it or you'd be a little bit nicer to me."

"Hang on a second," Seth interrupted. "Ryan, buddy, why not do this? You know, maybe get on her good side a little bit. "

"I don't think there's any good in this one Seth. He's clearly not Harbor material. Just another bad egg."

Her comment proved to be the last straw for Ryan who switched gears and started doing a little intimidating of his own. "Just how dumb do you think I am? Let me guess, I'm the typical stereotype right? I come from a poor background, an abusive home and I have a criminal record…so I can't possibly be good for anything right? I can't possible be given the chance to overcome the cards I've been dealt right? You don't think I know what you're doing? I know exactly what you're up to." His street smarts went right to work when he could see he was getting to her. Like most Newpsies, her 'tells' were obvious.

"Ry, Ryan what's wrong? What is she doing?"

"She's trying to set me up Seth."

"What?! What do you mean? Why would she do that?"

"Because she wants me gone. Isn't that right Dr. Kim? Sure I help you out, I break into your car, get your keys for you and that's where it ends right? Wrong. Now my fingerprints are all over your car and I'd bet my life on the fact that this car would go missing in the near future. And what do you know? They find it somewhere, conveniently with my prints all over it. Prints that are traceable back to my Juvie record."

Dr. Kim couldn't even look at Ryan. She wasn't as good at this as she had hoped to be. She never imagined her plan would backfire. She didn't even contemplate the possibility of Ryan catching on. He was blue collar. He'd just do what he was told and go along with her plan, fall into her trap. She couldn't have been more wrong.

Gathering strength from her weakness Ryan stepped up to her. "If you want me gone that bad you're gonna have to do a hell of a lot better than this. There isn't much that gets past me and I'm not going down without a fight. I've lived through worse than you. You said I'm bad…you haven't seen bad yet. But you keep pushing me and I promise you, it's coming."

Clearly rattled, Dr. Kim turned and put her hands on her car to steady herself. Ryan held his position just a moment longer. He had crushed her. He had no doubt she would come back full force on another day. Hell she might even have him suspended or expelled for this little confrontation in the parking lot. It dawned on him he'd better have some insurance.

"One more thing," he added. "I'm aware of the fact that the Cohen's give a lot of money to this school. I would hate to see what might happen if they found out the Dean of such a reputable school was threatening, not to mention attempting to frame, their foster son."

The Dean's hands shook and her heart raced like never before. She wanted this encounter to be over with. Now.

Grabbing his backpack off the ground, Ryan stood still a moment longer and stared at the broken creature before him. He felt empowered. It had been a long time since he had that much control over someone, or a situation. Once again, the chips where in the air and time would tell just how far the good Doctor would take this charade. The image of the home and family that took him in flashed through his mind. Of all the things that could cost him his new life, this woman and her independent crusade against him was not something he was prepared for. But now he had her. If she wasn't careful, he'd be sure to show her she'd met her match if she ever locked horns with him again. Question was…is it worth losing everything he'd gained? A family. Caring parents. A home.


	8. Making Mistakes

Bad Behavior – Chap 8

Making Mistakes

Walking into the kitchen Ryan yawned and reached for a cup of coffee. He liked these quiet mornings when he could have a few minutes to himself. He hadn't slept well all weekend. His mind was consumed with the challenges of his new life, particularly his school. He hated it there. The devil on his shoulder was constantly pushing him to skip class and today he was in the mood to do it. Maybe he would. Just one day to clear his head a bit.

"You look lost in thought," Seth interrupted. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Fine," Ryan replied, nonchalantly sipping his cup of coffee.

"Ryan," Seth pried. "I know that look. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"Good morning gentlemen," Sandy crooned entering the kitchen. "What's up this morning?"

"Apparently nothing," Seth egged on.

Ryan shot Seth a look while Sandy filled a travel mug with coffee.

"Well have fun doing nothing. I'm late. I'll see you guys tonight."

Leaning against the counter Seth stared at the back of Ryan's head.

"Seth…what do you want?"

"How did you know I was staring at you? That's just creepy man."

Turning around to face him, Ryan leaned against the opposite counter in silence.

"Come on man. Talk to me."

Checking the kitchen door, "I'm not going today."

"Ryan! You have to go!"

"No I don't!" he replied contorting his face, twice as disgusted.

"Ryan I don't mean that in the goodie-goodie sense." Crossing the kitchen Seth lowered his voice, "After that encounter with you-know-who last Friday, you have to go. If you don't she's gonna think she got to you and that you're backing down."

Ryan thought on Seth's words for a moment. "Are you actually encouraging me to torment the Dean of your school?"

Pretending to consider the question, "Um…yes. Yes I am."

An evil smirk lit up Ryan's face and it spread to Seth's face.

"Uh huh. Now THAT is what I'm talking about!" Seth mocked.

"What's going on in here?" Kirsten inquired, looking at the two smiling faces in her kitchen.

"Nothing," Ryan shrugged, at which point Seth spit out his coffee.

Kirsten watched Ryan hiding a smile behind his cup of coffee while Seth quickly wiped up the counter from his laughing fit.

"I probably don't want to know what's so funny, do I?"

"Really, it's nothing."

"Ryan, you're killing me!" Seth laughed again. "Please go get dressed for school so I can stop inhaling my coffee."

After Ryan had left the kitchen, "Well it looks like you guys are off to a great start today," Kirsten enthused.

"I hope so," Seth muttered to himself.

Entering the school, the boys walked right down the main hallway past the offices where Ryan noticed Dr. Kim standing in the lobby, watching the students arrive for the day. She snuck a quick glance at Ryan before looking away. Clearly she was still unnerved by his presence and the fact that he wasn't going to forget Friday's encounter as quickly as she hoped. That was in his favor. Instead of avoiding her, Ryan walked right up to her.

"Morning," he greeted.

Acting uncomfortable, she crossed her arms and looked across the lobby instead of at Ryan. "Ryan," she acknowledged.

"So what do you think?"

"About what?" she asked snapping her head in his direction, clearly concerned about his intentions behind that comment.

Sighing, "I was just wondering if you thought it was going to be a good day."

Ryan noticed her picking at the button on the cuff of her suit. "Monday's can be a little tough. First day back after the weekend usually is…but I think it'll be fine."

Ryan jutted his chin out matter-of-factly, "Hope you're right," he offered, with a hint of warning in his tone. Turning on his heel, he left her wondering what might come next.

"Well well, look who came to school today boys. If it isn't Little Boy Blue Collar."

Ryan ignored the comment and emptied his backpack into his locker. Pulling out the necessary books for his morning classes, he became aware of the fact that several of the water polo crew had walked over to him.

"What do you want?" Ryan asked without looking up.

"It's obvious isn't it? We want you gone! You don't belong here!" Blaine teased.

"And this coming from the mouth of someone I've already taken down once," Ryan threatened.

"You caught me off guard."

Ryan laughed and went toe to toe with the boy. "I'm ready any time you are."

The boy swallowed hard but didn't move…until Ryan turned to walk away from him. Using his fist, Blaine knocked Ryan's books to the floor.

Freezing in his spot, Ryan dropped his head to the floor looking at the books, grinding his teeth. Raising his head to the Newpsie-daredevil-wanna-be, "Pick 'em up," Ryan demanded.

"No."

In the blink of an eye, Ryan grabbed the boy by the hair, kicked one of his feet out from under him and slammed him to the ground where he fell against the lockers.

Hearing the commotion just outside his door, Mr. Dennon came out of his classroom. "Is there a problem out here gentlemen?"

There was an awkward silence. "No sir," Blaine covered, getting up off the floor, locking eyes with an unwavering Ryan. Bending down again, Blaine picked up Ryan's books and handed them to him.

The teacher gave Ryan a once over before shaking his head and returning to his classroom.

"You done?" Ryan inquired, watching Blaine rub his head where it made contact with the lockers.

"For now."

"Fair enough." Slamming his locker, Ryan turned his back on the group and went to class.

"Kirsten, I have a call from Harbor High on line four," the secretary announced.

"Oh boy. Here we go," she worried, reaching for the phone. "This is Kirsten Cohen."

"Mrs. Cohen, this is Ann in the Attendance Office here at Harbor High. I'm calling to inform you that your son, Ryan, was marked absent from two of his classes this afternoon. Can you confirm if he went home sick?"

Her heart skipped a beat. "Oh, um, no. No he's not sick that I'm aware of. I suppose it's possible my husband may have picked him up. I haven't heard from either of them."

"Well, I'm not showing any visits to the Nurse and we can't seem to locate him. I'll have to mark him down as skipping class. Good Day, Mrs. Cohen."

With the click of the receiver, a chill went down Kirsten's spine. Where was he? Was it starting? Was Ryan slipping back into the person he used to be? She asked her secretary to clear her schedule for the afternoon. She would go home to talk to Ryan. She hoped there was a rational explanation for this.

Several hours had gone by and Kirsten was starting to feel as if she'd worn a path into the floor from pacing. She jumped at the sound of the door opening only to find Sandy coming home with the same look of concern on his face.

"Have you heard from him?"

"No. Nothing. Sandy I don't know what to do. The school called at one o'clock this afternoon, it's almost eight. Where could he be?"

"I made a point of checking out the pier on my way home. He's not there," Sandy added, shaking his head with worry.

"You don't think…he wouldn't leave…would he?"

"He didn't leave." Seth's voice startled his parents and they looked at him with apprehension. "I…we have a pact. Ryan and I, we made an agreement. He said he wouldn't leave without telling me he was leaving first. He didn't say anything to me so…he's still around. Somewhere."

Kirsten looked pitifully on her natural born son. Her woman's intuition was telling her Ryan ran. Her heart weighed heavily with the pain of knowing Seth wanted so badly to be close to Ryan, to believe that Ryan would confide in him. But that just wasn't like Ryan. Ryan always fought his own battles. Alone. She had no doubt in her mind that if Ryan was indeed going to run away again, he wouldn't tell a soul, promises or not.

"Seth," she paused. "I need you to tell me what happened last week."

"What are you talking about?" Sandy asked, not following where Kirsten was going with this.

"Mom I don't know what you're talking about."

"Seth…please don't lie, or cover up anything."

"Mom I told you, I don't…"

"I know something happened. I just don't know what happened. Ryan made a comment to me that I thought was odd at the time and now that he's gone missing, I'm concerned to say the least. I really need you to tell me what you know."

"Son," Sandy started, trying to support Kirsten's quest for information. "Ryan's your friend. If there's a chance he's in trouble or you know where he is…we need to know. If something should happen and the cops get to him before we do…he'll be gone."

Seth looked away from his parents, mentally wrestling with what the right thing to do was. Tapping the back of the couch softly, he gave a cluttered answer that Ryan himself would have been proud of.

"He's the new kid on the block. There are a lot of adjustments to be made by everyone. He's not the only one pushing the envelope these days."

"What is that supposed to mean?" his father asked.

Kirsten in the meantime took a few steps away and seated herself on the couch with her back to Seth. She recognized the way Seth presented his answer and her mind immediately jumped to the conversation she had with Ryan and his explanation about a Styrofoam cup and china dishes.

"Son, just tell us what you know. Please," Sandy pressed again hoping for a better response.

"I can't," Seth finally admitted. "It's not what Ryan would want."

Now infuriated Kirsten stood up from the couch and wheeled around to face her natural born son. "Right now I don't care what he wants! If you know where he is or what he's doing…"

"I don't I swear. I have no idea where he is or why he left school. He didn't say anything to me. I know last week was rough for him. That's it."

"Seth, why don't you go find something to do for a while, okay?"

The instructions from his Dad came as a relief. He was happy to be free from the interrogation on Ryan's whereabouts. On his way up the stairs, his own mind raced wondering where Ryan was and what he was doing. Would he really leave without saying anything?

"Sandy what are we going to do?"

"There's nothing we can do…except wait."

The evening dragged on with minutes feelings like hours and hours feeling like an eternity. Kirsten found herself nauseous with worry. As time went on, she felt the chances of Ryan coming home were getting more and more slim.

"Kirsten, we need to go to bed. It's almost three o'clock in the morning."

He watched his wife run her hands over her face and through her hair before clasping them on the back of her neck. "What if something happened to him?" she asked without raising her head. "I don't understand this. He was fine. At least as fine as we've seen him."

"If anything has happened or if he got picked up, I assure you that call will come. Let's get some rest. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring…and we better be ready for it."

Nodding, Kirsten rose from the couch and gave the front door one last look. "Is it wrong to say I wish he'd walk in the door and throw up on the floor again just so I'd know he's okay?" She gave a weak smile and Sandy wrapped his arms around her.

"Don't give up on him. He's a strong one. We'll find him."

The phone rang interrupting Sandy's pep talk and Kirsten raced across the living room to answer it.

"Hello? Hello?"

"Kirsten?" The voice on the other end was quiet and hoarse.

"Ryan? Ryan is that you? Where are you?"

"I…I made some mistakes today…"

"Ryan it's okay. It's okay to make mistakes."

She turned and looked at Sandy who nodded feverishly so Kirsten would keep coaching Ryan with some encouragement.

"Honey we'll come get you. Just tell us where you are and we'll come get you. We're worried about you and we want to bring you home."

"Home…" Ryan whispered.

"Yes we'll bring you home just tell us where to pick you up. We'll come right now."

"I can't come home like this. I don't want you to see me like this."

"Were you drinking tonight?" she paused, hearing him take a deep breath on the other end of the line. "Ryan it's okay. You can tell me the truth. Is that why your voice is so hoarse?"

There was a labored pause, "Yeah. I had drinks…a lot of drinks. I've been puking, my throat hurts."

"Ryan it's okay. Let us bring you home. We'll take care of you."

Ryan nodded on the phone on his end. "Okay, but…don't bring Sandy okay?"

"But Ryan…"

"Please don't…if you bring him I'll be gone before you can even get here. Please just do this for me."

Pausing, "I'll do this Ryan but you have to tell me why. He's going to fight me on this and I have to know what I'm fighting for. That's only fair."

Sighing again, Ryan admitted the truth. "Because he knows how to read me. And I don't want him to see that I'm afraid."

Kirsten's eyes jumped to Sandy and her forehead wrinkled with worry. "Okay Ryan. I'll come alone. Tell me where you are…."

After Kirsten hung up the phone, Sandy looked at her even more confused that ever. Shrugging his shoulders, he hoped she would offer him an explanation.

Letting out the breath she'd been holding all day, "Well, um, I'm sure it's not a surprise that he's drunk."

"Not exactly. And…why does he want you to come alone?"

"Sandy if I tell you this, you can never admit to him that I told you this. He'd never trust me again."

Sandy nodded, "Of course. What is it?"

"He said it's because you know how to read him and…he doesn't want you to know he's afraid."

"Oh dear God," Sandy mumbled. "Kirsten he's crying out for help…and he wants me to stay home?"

"Sandy please, we have to handle this one his way. Right now it's important to just get him home. We can both talk to him once he's here."

Nodding again, Sandy knew she was right. He was just happy that Ryan was willing to come home. The fact that he called home in the first place was a giant step in the right direction.

"Where did he say he was?"

"At some house in Long Beach. It sounded like a party in the background."

"How the heck did he get to Long Beach?"

When Kirsten arrived at the address Ryan had given her it was just about quarter to four in the morning. There weren't many partygoers left and most of the ones that were still hanging around were passed out cold in locations that varied from the front yard to the kitchen table. Music could be heard in the basement but the rest of the house was quiet.

"Can I help you?"

The voice startled her and she whirled around to find herself face to face with what she assumed was the host of the party. The giant hat on his head and the signatures all over his shirtless body in magic marker, that appeared to be his guest list, seemed to be a dead give away.

"Yes actually. I'm looking for Ryan."

"And who the hell are you?"

"Me? Um, I'm his ride home," Kirsten smiled.

"Ryan…Ryan….Oh Ryan! Leather jacket…white tank top…only smiles at the girls…you mean that Ryan?"

"That sounds like him, yes."

"He upstairs getting his groove on. Last door on the right."

"Getting his groove on?"

"Sorry that was TMI."

"TMI???"

"Too…much…information…" the host mocked slowly.

"Oh, right. I think I'll just knock on the door and let him know his ride is here."

"Suit yourself," the host offered before disappearing into another room.

Reaching the top of the stairs Kirsten began her walk towards the correct door. Walking gingerly as if she was in a haunted house, the click of a doorknob stopped her in her tracks halfway down the hallway. The door she was heading toward swung open and Ryan stumbled out into the hallway where a girl grabbed his arm and pushed him up against the opposite wall.

"Come on Ryan, spend the night with me," she crooned rather convincingly.

"I can't. My ride will be here any minute. I've gotta get downstairs."

His rejection was cut short when the unknown girl planted a passionate kiss on his lips. He leaned his head back against the wall and licked his lips.

"I can't stay."

"Ooooh," she whined. "But I want you to do that again," she begged, giggling and running her hand across the front of Ryan's jeans.

He smiled, leaving her hand in its position. "Next time," he promised, kissing her again.

"Ahem," Kirsten interjected, deciding Ryan had gotten enough "groove" for one night.

Both teens gaped in shock in Kirsten's direction. "It's time to go Ryan."

"Who the hell is she?" the anonymous girl complained.

"Be nice. That's my ride," Ryan reprimanded, giving the girl one last kiss and a wink before stumbling down the hallway and clinging to Kirsten to descend the stairs.

Out in the car, Kirsten made a point of making sure Ryan was strapped in and she placed a mop bucket with a plastic bag lining it on the floor mat between his legs.

"What's that for?"

"That's incase you need to puke while I'm on the expressway. Try to aim for the bucket, not my dashboard okay?"

"I'm not gonna puke. I haven't thrown up since before I called you."

"Well I'm not taking any chances," Kirsten admitted, buckling her own seatbelt. "You may get queasy in the car during the ride."

Kirsten waited until they were back on the expressway before inquiring about Ryan's evening. "So…who was that girl? Is that the same girl from the pool house?"

Ryan shifted nervously in his seat. "No. Her name is Simone. That's all I know. I met her at the party."

"Ryan, you need to slow down a little bit. You shouldn't be having sex with someone you just met a few hours ago. It's not safe. We're you careful?"

"No," he offered with blunt honesty.

Gasping, "Ryan!"

"Can we not talk about this?" Ryan asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Ryan every time I turn around you're being…intimate…with someone."

"Kirsten, I'm a sixteen year old guy, my hormones control me. I don't control them. Not to mention, coming from Chino, having sex with girls is just…something you do."

"Exactly how many girls have you been with Ryan?"

"I don't think you really want to know the answer to that," he admitted honestly again.

Sighing loudly, "Well since you obviously aren't going to slow down, you have to promise me from now on you'll always, and I mean always, use protection." She looked at him waiting for his answer. "Ryan, I want you to say it and mean it."

"I promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that. Now…onto bigger things. What happened today?"

"Didn't we just cover that?"

"I'm not talking about having sex Ryan. Why did you skip your classes today and how in God's name did you end up in Long Beach?"

The car was silent while Ryan avoided the question. Kirsten could see by his unsettled behavior that he was struggling to find an appropriate answer.

"Ryan you can either talk to me now, or you can talk to me and Sandy when we get home. One way or another this has to be addressed."

"Does it have to be now? Can't we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Actually, I find you to be quite truthful when you're drunk." Kirsten smiled at Ryan. He just blinked at her and turned his head to stare out the window.

"There's no reason. I just felt like it."

"Ah, so you just felt like getting into trouble?"

"Yep. It's what I'm good at."

"I see. I think there's more to it than that. I think there's something going on at school that you're not telling me and this was your way of escaping."

Kirsten could see his personality morphing right before her eyes. He went from a dry yet happy-go-lucky drunk to agitated and angry.

"There's nothing going on. It's school. I hate school."

"I'm not buying it Ryan. I think there's more to it than that. I could even go so far as to say possibly someone threatened you. They must be powerful, whoever they are, because they've got you convinced you can't tell anyone about it."

Ryan couldn't sit still a moment longer. Clearly flustered, "Kirsten, stop the car. Stop the car!"

Realizing she struck a nerve, "No. Ryan, talk to me. I need you to talk to me. Let me help you."

"Please stop the car!" he begged.

Barely ten seconds later he leaned forward and heaved into the bucket between his legs. Kirsten reached over and put her hand on his back.

"It's going to be okay Ryan. We're almost home. Just try to relax. Five more minutes and we'll be out of the car."

"I feel really sick."

"It's okay Ryan. Use the bucket. We're almost there."

As if on cue, at the end of her sentence Ryan started coughing, which lead to more puking. Resting his head against the dashboard, he sat helplessly by while his body tried to purge itself of all the alcohol he'd consumed. Finally he heard Kirsten shut the car off.

"We're home Ryan."

"Home," he muttered, his voice hoarse once again.

Walking around to Ryan's side of the car, she opened the door and gently directed him to sit back so she could undo his seatbelt. "I told you that bucket was a good idea."

"Have I ever told you how much I hate it when you're right?"

Taking the bucket out of the car, Kirsten placed it on the grass for the time being and turned around just in time to see Sandy coming around the car.

"How is he? Is he okay?"

Ryan tried to straighten himself up when he saw Sandy. His breathing was labored and his head was spinning something awful. But his eyes widened like saucers when Sandy got in his line of vision.

"Are you gonna hit me now?"

The question shocked Sandy. "Ryan we've never laid a hand on you since you came here. Why do think I'm going to hit you?"

"Because that's what Father-figures and boyfriends do. I know one of these times I'm going to piss you off to the point where you'll do it. I'm just trying to be prepared for it. Quite frankly I wish you'd just do it and get it over with already."

Sandy turned to Kirsten who had her hand over her mouth and the same horrified look on her face that Sandy had.

Turning back to Ryan's blank expression, "Ryan…we don't hit our kids," he offered quietly. "You made a mistake tonight. We'll deal with an appropriate punishment tomorrow but one thing I can promise you…we will never hit you."

Ryan's face showed he was absorbing what Sandy said, but not quite buying it.

"Come one Ryan, let's get you inside. You'll feel little bit better after you sleep."

Once Ryan was settled in for the night, rather for the morning, Sandy and Kirsten laid down on their own bed just as daylight was beginning to break.

Sandy rolled over and kissed Kirsten's forehead. "At least he's home. He'll be miserable tomorrow but at least we know he's okay."

"Sandy, there's something going on. I don't know what it is exactly, but I think someone is threatening him."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm guessing of course, but he was fine in the car on the way home until I mentioned my theory and that whoever they are, they have enough power to keep him from going for help. Sandy, they're trapping him. He has to tolerate whatever they are putting him through and yet they know he won't come to us for help."

"What did he say when you asked him about it?"

"He didn't say anything with words, but he started throwing up."

"My God, someone is threatening him. We'll talk to him tomorrow. We've got to get to the bottom of this before something bad happens…to Ryan…or the person who's threatening him."

Just a quick note…I know several folks have been asking if other characters such as Marissa or Summer will be added to the story. Truth is, I don't know. LOL! I write a single chapter at a time and see where it leads so I'm not usually much farther ahead of what you guys are reading at the time. The story was originally intended to be only about the Cohens and Ryan and Ryan's struggle to adapt to Newport. But…I still have lots in mind for this one so who knows! Some of your favorites may still make an appearance! I'll see what my little brain can concoct! : D Watch for Chap 9 to arrive some time over the weekend. (That's a good one! I like that one!)! Enjoy! : D

PS…if anyone can tell me the trick to getting the "lines" incorporated into my stories to signal a scene and/or character change. Please feel free to drop me an email. Since I updated my pc, those lines are in my copy of the story but don't transfer to FF for some reason. Anyhow…sorry there is no "warning" between scenes! : D


	9. So That's What Love Is

Bad Behavior – Chap 9

So That's What Love Is

Ryan awoke to a spinning room. Moaning, he rolled over and looked at the clock on his night table. 1:13 p.m. "Guess I'm not going to school today," he told the clock. With the room feeling as tight as his head was feeling, he thought some fresh air would do him some good. Slowly crawling out of bed, he yawned and shuffled his way to the door and stepped out on the patio where he found Sandy and Kirsten sitting at the patio table. They obviously skipped work in order to keep a close eye on him.

"Hey Ryan," Sandy greeted. "Why don't you come sit down here for a minute?"

Ryan's mouth was dry and his head was still whirling. "Does it have to be right now?"

"Yes," Sandy answered curtly.

Against his will Ryan took his time crossing the patio and gingerly took a seat across from his foster parents. He made a point of looking anywhere but directly at them.

"Ryan we need to talk."

"About what?" he asked, raising his eyes to Sandy's.

"About yesterday and what happened."

Ryan sat back in his chair and waited for Sandy to deliver his speech about missing classes and partying and coming home drunk. A speech he'd heard his mom give him a hundred times or more. He knew it forwards and backwards. But, in his foggy hangover, he forgot to give credit where credit was due. The Cohen's were almost always one step ahead of him. And they were about to do it again.

"Ryan…we know what happened," Sandy started. The comment turned out to be a true attention-getter when Ryan's eyes snapped up and locked with Sandy's. Now he knew they were on to something.

Pretending to brush off his nerves, Ryan narrowed his eyes at Sandy. "Yeah? What do you know?"

"We know everything. Why didn't you come to us?"

Ryan sat quietly, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I don't know what you're talking about. There's nothing to hide."

"No?"

"No," Ryan answered with a little too much strength behind it.

"Ryan, I'm an attorney. It's my job to find out information…especially secrets."

Blinking several times, Ryan forced himself to look away from Sandy and he concentrated on shimmering water in the pool.

"I think he needs some incentive," Kirsten interjected. Reaching into her sweater pocket, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes, the same pack she had taken from Ryan when he came back home.

Ryan's eyebrows furled at the increasing insanity of the game they were playing with him. "You're gonna con me with cigarettes?"

Kirsten nodded, "I've been conned a few times. I had a pretty good teacher." She watched Ryan shake his head and look away. "Here's how it works…you give us the truth. Every time you give us the truth, you get a cigarette. You give me five truths, I'll give you all five cigarettes that are left in the pack."

"And why would I have anything to tell in the first place?"

"Because we already know. We just want to hear your side of it," Sandy explained patiently.

Ryan sat frighteningly still, moving only his eyes back and forth between Sandy and Kirsten. His body language showing he was doing a slow burn all the while. The silence was so thick it was suffocating. Ryan finally dropped his eyes down to the pack of cigarettes. Standing up, he walked over to Kirsten's side of the table and reached for the pack. Expertly tapping it against the heel of his hand, a single cigarette popped from the pack. Putting it to his lips, he removed the solo cigarette and tossed the rest of the pack down on the table. Reaching for the lighter he lit his 'reward'. Sandy and Kirsten watched him with puzzled looks on their faces.

Ryan inhaled deeply. Other than the flick of the lighter, the silence at the table still had not been broken. He let the hand holding the cigarette fall down to his side and his eyes darted between his foster parents again.

He looked at them intently and finally let the smoke escape from his mouth. "You don't know anything…and that's the truth."

Kirsten and Sandy sat dumbfounded at the table with their mouths dropping open slightly.

"Hung over or not, if there's one thing I can recognize a mile away, it's a lying parent. Don't do that again."

Ryan stood steadfast before the perplexed duo. His strength fueled by the adrenaline coursing through his body. "I'm going to walk down the driveway and finish my cigarette. I'll be right back."

"Okay," Kirsten acknowledged at barely a whisper, not knowing what else to say.

When Ryan had disappeared around the side of the house, Sandy turned to his wife and shook his head. "Damn he's good. If we can ever straighten him out, he's got to be an attorney when he grows up."

"Sandy don't make jokes right now. He saw right through us. I warned you, he's smart. We can't just be one step ahead of him, we've got to be five or six steps ahead of him…at all times."

"Unbelievable. Now what do we do? That didn't work," Sandy laughed.

"Well we know about yesterday. He still has punishment coming for that and…"

"You can stop whispering about me now. I'm back," Ryan warned as he approached the patio table. Taking his same seat he glared at the Cohens and waited to see what would come up next.

Stumbling for words, "Um, I…suppose an apology is in order. We shouldn't have lied to you," Kirsten offered. "We're sorry. We just…we know something isn't right and we want to help."

"If I want your help, I'll ask for it. I've come to you twice when I needed it the most. If I need you, you'll know." Ryan's face bordered on controlled anger while Kirsten nodded.

Trying to change the subject, "Okay then let's move on to yesterday," Sandy said, trying to cool Ryan down. "Now the school has already called about the classes you missed. You're going to have to serve detention for a week and you'll have some additional assignments to turn in to make up for those classes you skipped."

"In addition to that, we will be grounding you for the same week," Kirsten added. "And I mean grounded…no going out, no telephone, no TV, no video games, no car and absolutely no bargaining for cigarettes. Understand?"

Nodding his head slowly, Ryan stared holes through his disciplinarians.

"That takes care of school," Sandy continued as he watched Ryan's eyes trail across the table to his. "We still have the party in Long Beach to cover. Any ideas Dear?"

"Actually I do have one. Charity set up. Three of them."

"What?" Ryan contested angrily.

"You heard me. You went out without letting someone know where you went, you were out past your curfew and you came home drunk. That's three rules broken, that's three set-ups you're gonna help with…without complaining. Got it?"

Ryan forced his head to turn toward the ocean. His cheeks flexed from grinding his teeth. "Are we done?"

"No," Kirsten answered, Ryan's eyes returned to glare at hers. "The girl…"

"You're gonna punish me for having sex?" he replied curtly.

"He had sex?" Sandy asked bewildered.

"Unprotected sex," Kirsten explained. "Ryan I think you and I will put in some volunteer time down at the hospital. One day in the Nursery and one day in the ward where the HIV positive patients are located. I want to make sure you get a good taste of what can happen if you aren't careful."

Kirsten rose from the table, reached for the pack of cigarettes and the lighter and placed them back in her pocket. "Let me make one thing clear Ryan…if you do not complete your punishment during the week of your detention, a second week will be added."

"Why are you being so hard on me?" he barked back.

Leaning on the patio table Kirsten got right in his face. "Because I love you Ryan and I will not let you throw your life away!"

That word, 'love', that got Ryan's attention. No one ever used the word 'love' in the same sentence as his name. That just never happened. To hear Kirsten say it with such conviction, he imagined that's what it must sound like when someone meant it when they said it.

"You're excused Ryan. Go to your room."

Part confused but mostly still angry, Ryan stood up abruptly causing the patio chair to screech across the pavement. He hurried up the steps to the pool house and slammed the door behind him.

Still leaning on the patio table Kirsten turned to Sandy. "Why do you look so scared?" she laughed.

"You can be very convincing when you're angry."

"My strengths seem to lie in the "P" categories when it comes to Ryan."

"Excuse me?"

"Uh huh…puking, preaching, punishments and now we can add conversations about 'protection' to the list. Oh and let's not forget his famous peeing incident when he came home drunk the first time."

"You really do have the 'P' categories locked down," Sandy mocked. "How do you think he's going to handle all of this? Do you think we were too harsh?"

"No. Ryan comes from a place where there were no rules. He needs rules, guidance. And he has to learn that there are alternatives to breaking the rules, not to mention consequences when he does."

"I love it when you get all logical on me."

"Don't get too excited. We won't know for a few days if my logic worked."

Seth entered the pool house without knocking and found Ryan sitting on the floor, leaning against the foot of his bed.

"You look like someone stole your last can of beer," Seth jestered, sitting on a chair across from Ryan. "I take it you got your sentencing."

Ryan nodded.

"How bad was it?"

"Bad."

What do you have to do?"

"Let's just say the only things I can probably do by myself for the next week or so are shower and take a leak."

"Ouch. They were really that angry?"

"Your Mom was. She wasn't exactly angry just…very…serious."

"Well, word to the wise…if you're a good boy the first few days and you do what she asks, you can probably weasel your way out of the punishment slated for the rest of the week. I speak from experience."

"I don't think that'll work this time Seth. There's a lot more to it."

"Well you're just grounded right? Give her the puppy dog eyes. She's a sucker for the puppy dog eyes."

"I'm not only grounded for a week for skipping school, I have to do three charity set-ups to make up for the partying I did last night and then she's gonna make me volunteer at the hospital for two days because of…"

"Because of what?"

Licking his lips and tipping his head away from Seth, "Because I had sex with a girl, without using…any protection."

"How the hell would she know that?"

"She saw me with this girl at the party and she asked me about it in the car on the way home. Since I was drunk, I told her the truth."

"Wow, you really did dig yourself a deep hole in just a matter of hours."

"Thanks Seth, that helps."

"Well, was the girl hot? I mean, was she worth getting in trouble over?"

A knowing smile crept across Ryan's face and he looked at Seth. "Oh yeah."

"Cool. So one week of hell huh?"

"Yep."

"You seem okay with this," Seth commented, looking at Ryan rather confused.

"After my punishment was handed out your Mom said…she said she loved me. And that she wouldn't let me throw my life away."

Nodding and searching for the right response, Seth bit his lip. "But that's cool, right?"

"Yeah actually it is. My own Mom has never even said it to me," Ryan replied, his voice trailing off.

"That's great Ryan. Really. I'm happy for you. You know they mean it, right?"

Ryan nodded again, picking at the laces on his boots he avoided making eye contact with Seth.

"I'm gonna run inside and scout out what we're having for dinner. I'll come back and give you the low down. And hey, don't be so down about your punishment…you've still got me and I'm not grounded," Seth smiled slyly, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yet! Not grounded yet!" Ryan replied smiling. "Thanks man."

"Anytime. I'll see you for dinner.

"And that's five o'clock gentlemen. Detention is over. You may leave. See you tomorrow."

Throwing his books in his backpack Ryan made haste for the door. He knew Kirsten would be waiting in the car in front of the school.

"Hey, did you have a nice detention?" Kirsten teased.

"Not funny," he smirked.

Talk was small on the way home until he realized she passed the turn leading to home.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

Ryan felt suddenly nervous. Butterflies in his stomach were flying at full force when he realized Kirsten had turned into the entrance to the hospital.

Turning off the car, "Okay Ryan let's go." She could see he was a bundle of nerves when he got out of the car. "You just stick with me and you'll be fine," she encouraged, rubbing his back while they walked.

The white halls of the hospital made him queasy and he stopped walking at one point. "Kirsten…I can't be here…I can't do this…"

His breathing was heavy and labored and his voice had panic in it. Kirsten worried he might have an anxiety attack. She needed to help him calm down.

"Ryan…"

"You don't understand. I've been to more hospitals than I care to remember. Every visit was because someone hurt me. Broken arms, broken ribs, so many stitches I could start my own railroad. Please, I'm begging you. Don't make me do this. I'll do anything else to make up for this, but I can't do this. I can't be here. Please."

"Ryan, Ryan listen to me," she soothed. "You're fine. We aren't here for you. No one here is going to do anything to you. We're here for the babies."

"Babies?" Ryan breathed out hard, wrinkling his forehead.

"Mmm-Hmm. And we're gonna be together the entire time. I know it's hard for you to be here today but if you can get through this, you can do anything you put your mind to."

He leaned against the wall. "This is different Kirsten. This is like showing me my past all over again. I can't…"

"I want you to try. Come on. I'll be right next to you the whole time." Putting her arm around his shoulders she forced him to walk through the doors to the Nursery. "This is the best part of the hospital."

"The only good parts to a hospital are the exits."

Pausing at the desk, "Hi Susie. This is my son, Ryan. He's going to give me a hand today."

"Sure thing Kirsten. Go on in."

"You ready Ryan?"

He shook his head and glanced at Kirsten with wide eyes.

"Come on, I want you to see this."

Still pushing Ryan forward, they passed through one more set of double doors. "Now," she paused, turning Ryan to face a giant window. "What do you think of them?"

The Nursery was full of new babies. Kirsten watched Ryan's head scan the cribs. What she would have given to know his thoughts at that moment.

"Follow me please," she instructed, leading Ryan into the feeding room. After they washed their hands at the sink, Kirsten threw a hospital gown over her clothes and helped Ryan into his.

"I look ridiculous," he complained. "Why am I wearing this?"

"It's hospital policy if you're gonna be handling the babies," she explained walking away from him. "Do you want to hold a boy or a girl?"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You didn't say anything about touching them!" Ryan panicked.

Ignoring him, Kirsten picked up a baby in a pink bundle and walked back over to Ryan. "You aren't just going to touch them, you're going to hold them. It's entirely different."

"Kirsten I don't think this is such a good idea. These are someone's kids. What if I drop one of them or something?"

"Try…Ryan. Besides, you're gonna be too terrified and clinging to them to drop one of them," she smiled. "Sit down in the rocking chair. Now bend your arm like this," she instructed. "That's it. Now…here she is." Kirsten watched Ryan go stiff as a board when she placed the baby in his arms. She also noticed him draw his breath in. "It's okay Ryan, breathe," she chuckled, pulling up a chair and sitting down in front of him.

"She's wiggling. What if I drop her?"

"You're doing just fine. Just be nice and gentle."

"Kirsten I'm an Atwood. Those words aren't in our vocabulary."

At Ryan's explanation, the baby started crying and a new wave of terror rushed over him. "You…you better take her. She doesn't want me. Can't say that I blame her."

"Oh that's not the case at all. Give her this," Kirsten aided, handing Ryan a pacifier. Kirsten watched Ryan ever so gently place it in the baby's mouth and the baby calmed down again, the binky dancing on her lips as she sucked on it.

"I guess that's what she wanted," Ryan commented, absentmindedly.

"You see Ryan, children getting what they want from the adult figures in their life starts right at the beginning. They know who's willing to take care of them. And, just like you, who they can trust and who they can't. It's intuition."

"Yeah but, why me?"

"Because I've known from the beginning that there's a good kid under that tough skin of yours. And she knows it too."

Taking Ryan's free hand and laying it against his chest, Kirsten asked him to stick out his pointer finger. Guiding his finger to the baby's hand, the baby immediately latched on, wrapping its tiny hand around Ryan's finger and squeezing.

Ryan's mouth dropped open before tapping into a smile of amazement. The scene brought tears to Kirsten's eyes. Not only was it touching to see Ryan being gentle, a peek into his heart tugged at her own heartstrings as well. While she had Ryan in a vulnerable moment, it seemed a good time to mention some practical advice.

"Now I should point out the obvious while we're here Ryan. If you aren't more careful with some of your intimate activities, you're going to be to holding one of these all the time. And while I'd love to be Grandma Kirsten to your children some day, I hope you realize that now is not the time in your life to be raising kids."

Nodding, "I understand. I'll be more responsible. I'm not ready for this."

"I'm glad to hear that," Kirsten smiled rubbing the baby's head.

"Would you like to hold a boy now?" she asked, standing up.

"No. This one seems to be okay with me. Besides, boys are trouble," he smiled back.

"Ha! They definitely keep you on your toes! I'll give them that!"

"Kirsten?"

"What?"

"I know as part of my punishment we were supposed to go the AIDS ward but…"

"But what?"

"This is the first time I've ever been to a hospital and it was a pretty good experience. I get what you're trying to teach me. I'll slow down. I mean it when I say I'll be more responsible."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

"For real right? No 'glove' means no love."

"What?"

"No condom, no sex."

"Oh, right. Never heard it put quite that way before. Anyway, I promise."

"Okay. It's a deal. You ready to go home?"

"Yeah, in a minute."

"So I guess good things can happen at hospitals after all, huh Ryan?"

"You're not…gonna tell Seth about this, are you?"

"Oooh, blackmail. I may have to stow this away in my 'con' file, incase I need it."

"You blow my reputation, I'll blow yours," Ryan laughed.

After sharing a hearty laugh, "Nah, I think I'm gonna save today for myself. I really enjoyed this today."

Taking the baby from Ryan's arms, Kirsten gently placed the sleeping bundle back in her cradle as Ryan looked on. Outside the feeding area they removed their hospital attire and stuck them in the linens bin. Kirsten noticed Ryan had walked over to the window and was leaning against the ledge looking at the babies. She smiled and walked over to him.

"It's time to go Ryan. I'm sure there's some homework in that bag of yours and we still have to get dinner on the way home."

Still looking through the window, "How do always know what to do and say to get through to me? And how did you know I'd go through with this today?"

"I didn't," she answered honestly, leaning up against the ledge facing Ryan. "Most of the time I just do what I think is right and hope that sooner or later you'll realize that we really love you and want what's best for you. Not to mention," she said, turning to face the babies beyond the glass, "this room is all about new beginnings, fresh starts. What better place to get some of the right motivation."

Nodding with a sheepish smile, "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For treating me like a normal human being. I didn't get much of that back in Chino. Matter of fact I don't think I got it at all. My Mom never…" his voice halted, realizing what he was about to admit to Kirsten. "I didn't really know what it meant to be loved…until you guys came along. I'm sure that sounds corny coming from someone like me. Although I'm not sure how you can love me when I'm so much trouble."

Laughing, "You're not trouble Ryan…well okay some days you are!" she laughed louder. "Mostly you're just like a big adventure and that's really all life is."

"You've been talking to Seth too much," he joked back. "Thanks for today. I won't forget this."

"Anytime honey, anytime. C'mon, let's head home."

(To be continued)…

Note – so now y'all have caught up to me! It'll be a little bit while I get the next chapter in order but I will update as soon as it's ready. Lots more good stuff on the way. I got several emails from folks that couldn't post reviews for chapter 8 due to technical glitches on FF at the time I posted the chapter…Thanks for the kudos! Be sure to throw some reviews out there for chapter 9, they make my day! : D Also, a "Programming Note"…I think I'm gonna be changing the rating on this one to an "R". I reread the last few chapters and…yeah…I think they are heavier than the current PG-13 rating. So just make a mental note of that tidbit for whatever it's worth. Thanks again for the great reviews! Happy Sunday to all! : D


	10. Turning Corners

Bad Behavior – Chapter 10

Turning Corners

"You have got to be kidding me! How could this happen?" Holding her head Kirsten sighed with disappointment. "No, no, I'll take care of it just give me until seven o'clock. We'll just have it here. That's fine. Bye."

Seth, Ryan and Sandy had walked in and heard half of the conversation and looked at Kirsten with blank faces.

"Yeah. Exactly. A pipe broke at The Iris so the Women's League can't meet there tonight…instead they are coming here."

"You mean I set that place up for nothing?" Ryan asked, perturbed.

"Believe me Ryan, I'm just as frustrated with this as you are. If you help me get through tonight it'll be your third set up and you'll be done. I need all the help I can get tonight."

Taking his turn at sighing, "Okay. I'll help," he consented, accepting her offer.

"I'll help too," Seth chimed in.

"Well don't leave me out," Sandy added.

"Oh thanks guys! We have just about two hours to pull this off. Ryan, Seth go to the garage and get some of the spare tables so we can put out some appetizers. Sandy, check the bar and make a list of anything we'll need, you know how these ladies like their drinks. And ice, add a bag of ice to the list. I'm going to straighten up the living room and the kitchen. Everyone meet back here in twenty minutes."

Team Cohen, Ryan included, worked feverishly to prepare the house for the soon-to-arrive Women's League. In twenty minutes they met back in the kitchen for step two of the preparations.

"Okay, next task, food. Sandy, run out and get whatever you need for the bar. I'll take the boys with me and we'll hit Luigi's and bring back some food for the party. We've got to be back here in forty-five minutes to put the food out. The officers for the club will be arriving a little earlier than the rest of the ladies."

"Don't say officers Mom, you'll scare Ryan."

"Shut up Seth," Ryan warned, shoving him toward the door.

"Good luck," Sandy chuckled, kissing his wife. "See you in a little bit."

-- -- -- --- --- --- -- -- --

Marching right through the doors of Luigi's, Kirsten was on a mission. "Boys, go over to the other side by the deli and pick out some appetizers for platters. Anything. I don't care what it is. Recanting that statement, "I take that back. Seth, nothing with lobster in it."

"You're killing me Mom."

Shaking her head, she went to the counter to order some main course items to bring home. "Hurry," she called over her shoulder.

Ryan and Seth stood in front of the giant display case eyeballing all of the choices.

"So, what's your pleasure Ry? Anything look good to you?"

Feeling lost, Ryan stared into the cooler and raised his eyebrows. Nothing beyond the glass looked like real food to him. With their fancy swirls and garnishes, the items in the cooler looked more like decorations, rather than edible items.

"I can see you aren't going to be much help. How about you just tell me what you think looks pretty?"

Turning his eyes sideways, Ryan wrinkled his face at Seth's request.

"Ryan, for the ladies…the ladies would like the ones that look the prettiest. We'll just make a platter of the prettiest ones. It'll be a bouquet of edible goodness."

Turning their task into a game, the boys managed to fill up six giant platters. The woman behind the counter put lids over each of the trays and gave each of the boys a stack of three platters to carry.

"There ya go guys. Please be careful. Your Mom will not be happy if you drop these."

"You have no idea," Seth agreed.

Snagging an empty cart, they stacked the platters inside the basket and crossed the store back towards Kirsten's location. Their trip was cut short when Blaine and Carter stepped in front of their cart.

"Well don't you two make a cute couple? What's all this for? It's not like you two have any friends or anything."

"You sound like someone that speaks from experience," Seth sassed back.

Blaine gave Seth a shove that caught him off guard and knocked him to the floor.

"Don't touch him!" Ryan hollered. Planting his left foot down, he cocked his right arm back.

"Ryan! NO!" Kirsten's stern voice bellowed through the storefront. "No! Put your arm down…now!" she reprimanded. "Don't you dare do this! This is exactly what they want you to do. Walk away…we don't have time for them and their games."

After a brief hesitation, Ryan straightened up and slowly lowered his fist. Glancing at Seth on the ground, he opened his hand and helped him up.

"As for you two," Kirsten scolded. "Get a new routine already. This one is worn out and tired. I'll be seeing both of your mothers tonight and they will hear about this. Go home."

Once the instigators had walked away, "Come on boys, we're running out of time.

When the Rover pulled in the driveway, Sandy was already on the porch ready to help unload the car.

"The bar is stocked and ready for Newport's female alcohol intolerant guests."

"What time is it?" Kirsten panicked.

"It's ten after six. We've got to hurry."

Working as a team, some how, some way, they got the food organized for the party.

"Boys these trays look amazing. Oh they are just beautiful. They are almost too pretty to eat," Kirsten admired while Seth and Ryan exchanged a look and Seth mouthed 'I told you so'.

"Alright, I'm running upstairs to change my clothes. Sandy, please keep an eye on the door. Seth, Ryan, go change into something more presentable for company."

"Mom…" Seth moaned.

"You can't wander through the party unless you are dressed appropriately. And that means I can keep you away from the food."

"You're not gonna make us wear suits…are you?" Ryan was weary of her answer. It was bad enough he was going to have to parade around the party 'helping'. He hated the idea of being on display in front of so many Newpsies.

"Oh no, no suits. Ryan just put on your nice black pants and you'll find a new dress shirt hanging on your bathroom door. That's all you need. Seth, just, find something."

"You bought me a new shirt?" Ryan stammered, embarrassed.

"Yes, now go get dressed, both of you," she hollered rushing through the living room.

Putting his hairbrush down, Ryan looked at himself in his bathroom mirror. For the first time since he came to Newport, he realized he had turned a corner. He looked different. He felt different. He realized his life was his. The day's events up until that point replayed in his mind. It dawned on him that, even though he was dreading meeting the guests, he actually enjoyed the chaos of his new family preparing for their arrival that evening. He smiled and chuckled at his reflection when he thought about the ridiculousness of choosing 'pretty' appetizers from the deli counter with Seth…only in Newport. Then his mind jumped to the confrontation with Blaine and Seth. Kirsten's 'no' command played in his mind. He had walked away. He obeyed. Yes, he had definitely changed. Tipping his head back a bit, he looked himself over again. "Maybe you really can do this," he said out loud to himself. "Maybe this is what you've wanted all along and you just never knew it."

"Ry! Come on man, my Mom needs us," Seth called into the pool house.

"Be right there."

Making sure his shirt was tucked in just right and his collar straight, it dawned on him that it felt good to be wanted…to be part of a real family…to be loved.

Entering the kitchen, Ryan found the chaos had been kicked up a notch. The room contained about twelve women all with trays of food in their hands with the intention of giving Kirsten a hand with the party. Ryan quickly recognized a handful of the women from previous engagements, including Margaret, Blaine's mother. He made a mental note to keep a safe distance from her.

"Ryan dear, how are you?"

The voice surprised him. He turned and found himself in a half embrace with Peggy, the one person in Newport that stood up to the community for Ryan outside of the Cohen household.

"Hey," he smiled, embarrassed.

"I'll bet this is the last place on earth you want to be right now," Peggy sympathized. "Maybe you can sneak out after a little bit, find something more fun to do."

"Hmm, I can't. I'm a…I'm grounded right now. I'm definitely stuck here."

"Oh boy. So, did you deserve it?"

"Yeah…yeah, I did," he chuckled nervously.

Snickering herself, "I like you Ryan, you've got spunk. You're doing just fine. Just take it one day at a time honey. Speaking of which, I hear Sandy is whipping up drinks…could you check and see if he's making margaritas?"

"Sure."

"Did someone say margaritas? Oh Peggy, who's your…friend?" a stranger asked.

Seeing the crowd was gathering around Ryan, Kirsten jumped in to throw him a life line, "Everyone this is my son, Ryan. And he's, um…" she stalled looking at Ryan to see if he was going to play along with the program.

"Um, I'm heading over to Sandy with drink orders so…if anyone wants anything…"

"Oh I like him already! Ryan honey, a Manhattan please," a redhead by the stove requested, leading to a string of other drink orders.

Jokingly calling a time out, an overwhelmed Ryan left the kitchen saying he'd be back in a minute to take more drink requests. Wiggling his way through the crowd, he was relieved to finally reach Sandy at the bar.

"Hey kid, how you holding up?" Sandy asked, still in motion behind the bar.

"I can't believe I agreed to this. I hope you know how to make all of this stuff Sandy. These women belong at a Chino party with what they're ordering."

"You aren't kidding. Some of these women could even drink you under the table. Okay, I'm ready, what do you need?"

"Yeah, um, the group in the kitchen needs four Margaritas, a tonic and lime, a Highball, a Bloody Mary, a Manhattan, a Cosmo…oh, and a Diet Coke."

"How the heck did you remember all of that?"

"I'm trained. An alcoholic Mom, her alcoholic boyfriend, my brother wasn't exactly an alter boy either. Drinks were sort of like the Ten Commandments in my house growing up."

"Right. I forget that sometimes."

"Hey, who's the Diet Coke for?"

"Me…"

.. … .. …. .. .. . .

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, "Kirsten, is that the boy from Chino?" one of the women inquired.

"Yes, that's Ryan."

"This is the first time I've seen him. Oh he is just the cutest thing! He looks like a sweetheart. So is he…" she paused, searching for the politically correct terms. "Is he having a hard time adjusting to life in Newport?"

Kirsten was relieved that, for once, someone was using tact when asking about Ryan. "Ryan had a lot from his past to overcome and it took some time but he's doing very well. Sandy and I are very proud of him. He's really a great kid."

Kirsten turned to see Ryan handing out the requested beverages. He gave her a genuine smile and brought her margarita over. "I heard what you said."

"I meant every word," she said giving Ryan a shoulder squeeze before turning her attention back to the guests. "Ladies, if you could make your way to the living room please, Phyllis needs to make a few announcements and then dinner will be served."

The Cohens took advantage of the empty kitchen and enjoyed the lull for the time being. "You know what, I think you guys should grab a dish and get something to eat before the women return again."

"Finally, the first good idea Mom's had all day," Seth said grabbing a dish.

"Ryan honey, make a plate for yourself," Kirsten instructed handing him a dish.

"I think Ryan will just stick to the 'pretty' appetizers."

"Stop calling them 'pretty'!" Ryan laughed before slapping Seth in the back of the head.

"I'm so sorry I'm late," a voice interrupted. A voice that made Ryan's heart stop. Looking up, his horror was validated when he discovered Dr. Kim standing in the kitchen.

Sandy watched the smile melt right off of Ryan's face and noticed his body went rigid. Ryan's shirt tightened across his chest with each deep breath he tried to conceal. Sandy's own heart raced with the realization that Dr. Kim was a problem for Ryan. She was the one. She was the missing piece from Kirsten's theory.

"They're just getting started in the other room, you haven't missed anything. Let me take that for you," Kirsten offered taking the tray of desserts from Dr. Kim, unaware of Ryan's reaction. "Boys, go ahead, make your plates before…"

"I'm not hungry," Ryan announced through clenched teeth, his eyes locked on Dr. Kim. Putting his dish down quietly, "I'll be in my room."

"Ryan…" Kirsten called after him with no luck. Ryan hustled out the door without saying another word. "What just happened?"

Seth's lack of eye contact screamed 'please don't ask me'. Turning to Sandy, however, she knew something was very wrong. "Seth, why don't you go check on Ryan? Maybe you can get him to change him mind about dinner."

Seth nodded and left the kitchen, leaving the trio in a very awkward silence.

"I really hope I'm wrong on this," Sandy began with growing anxiety. "Is there anything you want to say to us?"

"Somebody better explain to me what the hell is going on." Kirsten looked at Sandy, still lost in the situation.

Dr. Kim swallowed hard, shame apparent on her face. "I…I may have…pushed Ryan a little too hard when he first came to Harbor." Her voice fluctuated from nerves.

"Oh my God," Kirsten gasped. "It's you. You're the one."

"Let's go outside on the patio. I have a feeling this could quickly become a rather spirited conversation," Sandy warned.

After asking Peggy to keep an eye on the party, the situation was moved outside.

"How could you do this to him?" Kirsten's forehead creased with anger, her voice quaked with frustration. "I sat down and talked with you when I registered him. I told you to give him a chance. Do you have any idea what that kid has been through?"

Sandy walked over and put his hands on Kirsten's shoulders in an attempt to calm her down.

"I think the fastest way to get through to her is to ask if she has any idea what he's capable of. He's a great kid, he really is. But he's not someone you'd want to lock horns with."

The comment got Dr. Kim's attention. Tears escaped her eyes and she found her way to a chair to save herself from the weak feeling in her legs.

"Exactly what did you say to him?" Sandy interrogated, stepping closer to Dr. Kim. "I want to know everything you said to him…for his sake, and for yours."

Trying to compose herself, "I was stern with him. I simply told him fighting would not be tolerated and such behavior could get him suspended or even expelled."

"You know we've had Ryan living with us for some time now. If you're going to skirt the truth, you're going to have to do a lot better than that. Kirsten and I have gotten pretty good at keeping our thumbs on people until we get the entire story," Sandy warned. "Ryan was having fun with us in the kitchen until the second you walked in. There's more to this. You're not telling us everything."

"No, she's not."

All heads turned to see Ryan standing just outside of the pool house, with Seth behind him. They had been listening to everything.

"Ryan honey, come over here for a minute." Per Kirsten's request, Ryan walked across the patio with Seth in tow. "Seth, maybe you should…"

"It's okay Kirsten. He already knows everything."

"So you were hiding something," Sandy scolded and Seth nodded. "Ryan, what do you think about what Dr. Kim said?"

Ryan sized up Dr. Kim. He was going to enjoy this. "You look nervous. You're afraid of what I'm going to say aren't you?" He watched the Dean squirm. "You should be." Ryan walked over and stood between Sandy and Kirsten, directly across from Dr. Kim so she had no choice but to look at him. "She talked to me on the first day of school, right after I got my locker assignment."

"…In the middle of water polo player hell by the way." Seth interjected. "Ryan and I think he was strategically placed there. His locker is only about eight away from Blaine and Carter and you know how those guys all feel about each other."

Dr. Kim felt nauseous. This entire situation had taken a left turn and gone from terrible to horrific.

"Our conversation about not fighting in school wasn't quite as sugar coated as she'd like you to believe. I was told that Harbor wasn't a fight club or a street corner and fighting would get me expelled. I was also told the only reason I was allowed into Harbor in the first place was because of who my foster parents were. She was surprised that I tested as well as I did and she 'strongly' suggested that I keep to myself and concentrate on my studies."

Kirsten's forehead wrinkled with a combination of hurt and anger. "How could you treat him like that? And this was unprovoked. He didn't do anything wrong, you just thought he deserved this?"

"I gotta tell you Dr. Kim, this is extremely disturbing. I'm actually speechless at your behavior." Sandy stood with his hands on his hips, at a complete loss for words.

"You may want to sit down then Sandy because there's more."

Turning to face Ryan, "What could possibly be worse than the degrading reprimanding you got for no reason?"

Ryan's eyes left Sandy's and drifted to Dr. Kim who instantly went to pieces. "Ryan, please…"

With surprised laughter, "Begging. Nice. That's not going to work. You never gave me a chance from the minute I set foot in your school. Why the hell would I protect you now?"

"I think I better sit down," Kirsten announced with Sandy following suit.

"Last Friday Seth and I left school a little bit late, most of the parking lot was empty. Dr. Kim was in the teacher's lot and called us over." Ryan fed off of Dr. Kim's meltdown. It was turning out to be a tremendous relief to get this secret out in the open. "When we got over by her car, she told us she had locked her keys in her car."

"So far it's okay…isn't it?" Sandy asked.

"No. Not even close." Ryan narrowed his eyes at Dr. Kim. "I know you don't think I'm good for much. Unfortunately for you, you picked the one thing I can ace with my eyes closed. That day you said I was the one with the unusual talent. You want to know just how talented I am?"

She looked at Ryan with fear in her eyes. Her career was flashing before her with every passing second.

"Let's pretend for a minute that you were telling the truth and you weren't trying to frame me for stealing your car."

"What?!" Sandy and Kirsten exclaimed together.

"Mom, Dad, you've got to hear Ryan work this through, he's a genius. Go ahead Ryan."

"So the keys are supposedly locked in the car. How did I know you were lying without even looking inside the car? Let's start with the obvious. I'm a kid, a kid you hate by the way. I'm the last person on earth you'd ever turn to for help. And let's not forget, we're in Newport. Everything in this town is just a phone call away and money is no object. But I'm blue collar so I guess I don't have the smarts to figure that out according to you. You know what else didn't make sense? For the Dean of the school you were going home awful light that day. No briefcase, no files, even my alcoholic mother carries a purse. But you didn't, not that day. It sure didn't look like you were ready to go home."

Ryan paused allowing everyone on the patio to absorb what he just said. When the silence continued, he went on with his explanation.

"I've been around cons all my life. I know how they work, forwards and backwards. To be perfectly blunt with you Dr. Kim, I knew you were up to something the minute you called me over to the car. Where I come from, you gain strength by using people's weaknesses, their flaws, against them. You tried to use my strength against me. That was a huge mistake."

"I can't take this any more," Sandy said, looking at Dr. Kim with disgust. "Ryan gave us his side of this. What do you have to say for yourself? Is this true?"

Nodding, Dr. Kim covered her mouth with her hand, tears pouring from her eyes. "I made a mistake. I didn't give him a chance." She looked at Ryan through swollen, make-up smeared eyes. "Ryan, I'm sorry."

"I'll expect your resignation to be handed in to the school board first thing in the morning. If you don't, I promise you we will press charges to the fullest extent of the law."

"Get out of my home. You should be ashamed of yourself." Kirsten stood up from the patio table and wiped her eyes. "I'm sure you can see yourself out. I'm going to take my family inside and make sure they get some dinner. Come on Ryan. I know you're hungry honey."

"Dinner. Finally," Seth groaned. "Ryan, wait up. I'll keep you company."

Once of the rest of his family had disappeared inside the house, Sandy walked Dr. Kim to the gate. "This is extremely disappointing and I can't even find the words to convey my anger right now. I expected so much more from such a prominent person in this community. I'll be bringing the boys to school tomorrow. Word of your resignation better be circulating by then. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have dinner with my family. Good night."

"Kirsten, Kirsten I can't eat that much." Looking at the plate she was fixing for him, Ryan raised his eyebrows.

"Oh yes you can, it's your favorite. Sit down and eat."

"Mom, if Ryan doesn't want it, you know, it's just more for the rest of us," Seth explained, reaching for Ryan's dish while Ryan raised a fork in his fist in Seth's direction. "Maybe not. Maybe Ryan's actually really hungry."

Walking up behind Seth, Kirsten leaned on an empty chair just as Sandy entered the kitchen. "Ryan, why didn't you tell us? Did you think we wouldn't believe you?"

Finishing his mouthful of pasta, he put his fork down. "No, that's not it. You guys believed in me even when I didn't believe in me. Ever since I came here, rotten as I've been at times, you keep telling me you brought me here to make a new start, a fresh beginning. The way she treated me…it reminded me of Chino. I wanted to believe all of you. I really wanted to believe that life here would be different, be better. I guess I just wanted to pretend it didn't happen."

"If anyone ever treats you like that again, you come to us immediately," Sandy instructed. "This isn't Chino. You don't have to take that anymore, from anyone. You don't have to handle things alone anymore. You don't have to be afraid here."

A crooked smile of embarrassment flickered across Ryan's face before he looked down at the table.

"You know kid, you gotta let us be the parents at least some of the time. It makes us feel important," Sandy joked, breaking the tension that had built up as a result of the Dr. Kim episode.

Ryan met Sandy's gaze with a genuine smile, "I know."

"On another note, since this is a party," Kirsten added, hoping to keep the upbeat mood going at the table. "We have some celebrating to do. Ryan walked away from a fight today." Kirsten beamed at Ryan's accomplishment. Even she was amazed that he walked away.

"He did? Where?" Sandy asked. "I always miss all the excitement."

"At Luigi's. There was a confrontation and Blaine knocked Seth to the ground. Ryan took exception to that. He got at far as cocking his arm back but when I told him to stop, he did."

"Well I'll be damned. Ryan that is outstanding! I'm proud of you son."

"Let's not get carried away," Seth interrupted with sass, and a mouthful of food. "It was only because he spent so much time in front of the PRETTY appetizers…must have softened him."

"You're asking for it!" Ryan warned, stifling a laugh.

"Bring it on buddy! Bring…it…on!"

Poking at his dinner with his fork, Ryan shook his head feeling oddly relaxed as the kitchen filled up with women from the League anxiously looking for dinner. None of them the wiser to what had just happened. He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. As bad as the confrontation with Dr. Kim was, he was relieved the ordeal could be put behind him…or so he hoped. Just like Peggy said, one day at a time. The episode on the patio proved to him that the Cohens had his back, no matter what. He'd know all along that's what they were trying to show him, that they'd support him, love him. But standing up against Dr. Kim and taking his side took that promise to a whole new level. He could feel it…and it felt good.

Attempting to make a dent in the plate Kirsten had piled high for him, he wondered what the next day at school would bring. Would Dr. Kim still be there or would she heed Sandy's warning? He would know the answer in less than ten hours.

(To be continued)…


	11. Bigger Worries

Bad Behavior Chapter 11

Bigger Worries

Seth paced the kitchen. "He's got to be up by now. Don't you think he's up by now? He should be up by now."

"Seth, calm down." The morning held enough anxiety of it's own, Sandy didn't need Ryan to see Seth climbing the walls right off the bat.

"But Dad, today could be…explosive."

Looking sternly at his son, "Seth…it'll be fine."

"But what if it's not? What if we walk in and Dr. Kim is still there and she goes postal on Ryan? Then what?"

"SETH!"

"Fine. I'm just stating the obvious. I'm concerned."

"Me too," Sandy admitted.

"Do you think Ryan's okay? I mean he seemed okay last night after the whole Dr. Kim thing."

"I'm not sure yet. Ryan is a master at keeping things to himself. He can put on a great dog and pony show when he wants to, even when he's devastated inside. We'll see how it goes today. Give him some space."

His Dad's quiet demeanor told Seth he was more worried than he was letting on. They both knew if Dr. Kim chose to fight for her position at Harbor School, things were going to get a lot worse before they got better.

"Hey…what's wrong?" Ryan inquired entering a kitchen full of long faces.

Seth and Sandy turned to him, hoping to mask their worries.

"Hey kid, sleep okay?"

Ryan let his backpack drop to the ground and his eyes darted between the two male Cohens standing in front of him. "Look, it's no big deal. I'm already assuming she'll be there."

"How does he do that?" Seth looked at his Dad and shook his head.

Proving it was no big deal, Ryan crossed the kitchen and pulled the carton of orange juice from the fridge, helping himself to a glass. Attempting to take a sip, he realized Sandy and Seth were both watching him, rather confused.

"What?"

"Ryan," Seth worried Ryan wasn't considering the repercussions of the patio confrontation. "What if she…"

"Seth look," he paused. "I've been going against the grain for so long I've almost forgotten what it's like to actually have things go the way they are supposed to. I've always had to fight for everything I wanted…good or bad. I'm an Atwood. Everything always comes hard. She'll be there." He paused again, sipping his juice. "If she's not there, now that would be a surprise."

After dragging out the morning as long as possible, the clock revealed it was time to go. The car ride was quiet. No doubt all three occupants had the same thoughts swirling in their heads, anxiety consuming their ability to even make up fake conversation along the way.

Lack of conversation continued after they arrived at school. Walking through the doors, Ryan kept his head low but his eyes scanned the lobby for any sign of Dr. Kim. She was nowhere to be found.

"Mr. Cohen? Ryan Atwood?"

It took a moment for them to locate where the voice was coming from. In the doorway of the main office stood a woman none of them had seen before. She waved them toward the office with a file in her hand. Ryan's file no doubt.

"Let the games begin," Ryan mumbled under his breath, walking toward the office followed by Seth and Sandy.

Once in the office, she directed them back to Dr. Kim's office. Seth noticed the nameplate was missing from the door.

"Gentlemen, please have a seat. Mr. Cohen, this concerns Ryan, I'm not sure if you prefer your other son to wait out…"

"He can stay," Sandy answered curtly, wondering who this woman was and where this conversation would lead.

"Well then," she began. "My name is Mrs. Lloyd and I will be the acting Dean here at Harbor High until the school board hires a replacement. Dr. Kim resigned late yesterday evening and explained a few things to me. I must apologize, Mr. Cohen, her behavior was not acceptable. A full review will be completed by the board and appropriate action will be taken by the school, regardless of what you chose to do on your own."

Ryan looked at Sandy who was giving the new Dean a stare down. Clearly he wasn't impressed by what she had to say.

"As for Ryan," she said, opening his file.

"Here it comes…" Ryan muttered again.

"I must also apologize for what he has had to endure in the short time he's been here. Harbor has always held itself to a very high set of standards and what he's been experiencing isn't even close to what we can offer him and his future."

Staring at the temporary Dean, Ryan's forehead wrinkled. His future? That didn't make sense, surely she was sent here to expel him. Biting his lip he paid close attention to the words that came out of the Dean. He wanted to make sure he was hearing her correctly.

"Mrs. Lloyd, I appreciate the pomp and circumstance of this whole…procedure," Sandy attempted to keep his voice even. "But the truth is Ryan has been through an awful lot in his young life. Simply saying you're sorry is not enough."

Nervously looking down at Ryan's file, the Dean was backpedaling looking for the appropriate words.

"Mr. Cohen, I've read all the notes in his file and…"

"What you have in front of you is only a taste of what this kid has been through," Sandy's voice was stern and it got the attention of everyone in the room.

"Please let me finish, I don't share Dr. Kim's views. Now I've seen his file. I may not now all of his history, but I understand he's here so he can hopefully move past some of that history. That's a big step for anyone to take on. I've seen his test scores, which were very impressive. I would like to see Ryan stay and achieve what he came here to achieve…a good education and some direction in his life."

Ryan's forehead wrinkled again while he tried to rearrange the words in his head. "You mean, you aren't kicking me out?" he asked without thinking.

The Dean smiled, "No Ryan. I would like you to stay…that is, if you'd like to stay."

"Ryan man that's totally cool!" Seth exclaimed ecstatic over the fact that that he would still have Ryan in school with him.

"Yeah, but, what's the catch?"

"What catch?" Mrs. Lloyd asked, confused.

"There's always a catch."

The Dean looked pitifully at Ryan. "Ryan, there's no catch. I'm just trying to show you that things here can be nice. Hasn't anyone ever been…nice…to you?"

"No. Not really. I mean, the Cohens are nice to me. They understand me. And that woman Peggy, she's been nice to me. That's it I guess."

Pursing her lips together, "Well then it sounds to me like you're long overdue for someone to cut you some slack, wouldn't you say?" The Dean watched Ryan studying her and waited for him to answer. When he didn't, she reinforced her statement. "Ryan, I would like the opportunity to show you a very different side of this school. You're tests prove you want more out of your life than what you've seen so far. You've got it in you to be anything you want."

Compliments. This was proving to be extremely awkward. Ryan didn't like compliments. He didn't know how to handle them. Digs, complaints and scoldings, that's what he was used to. He knew how to handle that. Even though life with the Cohens was showing him he did deserve compliments, they still made him feel uncomfortable.

"So what happens now?" Sandy asked rather pointedly.

"Well, if it's okay with Ryan, he's free to return to class and his last two days of detention will be canceled." Off of Sandy's look, "I feel he skipped class because of the tension he was feeling from Dr. Kim. I don't think he would have acted out like that if she had treated him differently."

"So Ry, what do you think? Are you up for a little Latte in the student lounge?" Seth asked with hope in his voice.

Ryan glanced at Sandy and then at Mrs. Lloyd before dropping his eyes to his hands in his lap. "I guess…I guess I can try and see how it goes."

Smiling, "I'm glad to hear that," the Dean responded.

Standing up she shook Sandy's hand. "Mr. Cohen, if you have any questions or concerns at any time, please do not hesitate to contact me. And Ryan, I know you're the type of guy that prefers to handle his own problems, but please know my door is open to you if you ever need my assistance."

Nodding skeptically, Ryan led the group from the office.

"Oh, Mrs. Lloyd, there is one thing," Seth paused with Ryan and his Dad looking at him, worried about what he was going to say.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Well, Dr. Kim strategically had Ryan's locker assigned in a place that is nothing but trouble for him. Can he be moved? I mean, the day he got the assignment the secretary told us that locker assignments were not negotiable. If you leave him there, you're going to see him back here sooner than later."

The Dean smiled and walked over to the counter. After several clicks on the computer, she handed Ryan a sticky note, which Seth grabbed out of his hand immediately.

"Sweet! Ryan this is right around the corner from mine now. Dude you are out of water polo player hell!"

"Don't celebrate just yet Seth, everything comes with a price. That will too."

"Dude we have got to get you out of that Chino method of thinking."

"If you have any problems Ryan, you be sure to let me know," Mrs. Lloyd advised, catching on to his comment.

"Well guys, I guess that's means it's off to class for you two. I'll see you guys tonight. Good luck today."

Sandy watched them cross the lobby and head up the main staircase. With the morning bell ringing, Seth and Ryan broke into a run on the stairs to avoid being late to their first period classes.

Glad to have a moment alone with the Dean, Sandy thought it was a good time to make sure the she understood the magnitude of that morning's conversation. "Now Mrs. Lloyd, I hope you meant everything you said in there."

"Absolutely."

"I hope so. Because Ryan doesn't forget anything and he's already taken out one Dean."

"Mr. Cohen I assure you…"

"No, don't say that. Bringing Ryan into our home has taught us many things including one of the most important lessons I've ever learned. Saying it doesn't mean a thing. Your actions have to show you mean it…and showing it takes more time. This isn't a 'quick fix' situation. We're all going to need time to work through this one."

The Dean stood silent, the correct response escaping her. She watched Sandy leave the school. He was right. Only time would tell if the right decisions had been made and the right words spoken.

Upon arriving at his office, Sandy was greeted by his secretary. "Good Morning, Mr. Cohen. Here are your messages, and this envelope came special delivery via messenger for you this morning."

"Thanks Sarah."

Closing the door to his office, Sandy sat down in the quiet for a moment and relived the morning. Surely Ryan was as confused as he was by the new Dean's welcoming attitude considering it was night and day from Dr. Kim's approach to Ryan attending Harbor. He told Mrs. Lloyd it was going to take time and now he'd have to abide by his own words and just take a 'wait and see' attitude.

Attempting to change his mindset into the work that lay before him for the day, Sandy flipped through his messages before remember the envelope that came special delivery.

Giving attention to the oversized, yellow envelope, he noticed it was post marked from the State of California Judicial System. Since he practiced law in the state of California, there was nothing unusual about that…probably just a change in a court hearting for one of his clients.

Opening the envelope, he leaned back in his chair, his head resting in his hand as he read the notice. Slowly he sat forward, laying the notice down on his desk. "Oh my God," he whispered to himself. "Out of the frying pan and into the fire."

Kirsten's day had been long and painful. Her full day meeting with the Planning and Zoning Committee turned out to be more grueling than expected. She would have forty-eight hours to make all the necessary changes to all the plans in order to meet their approval. This wasn't going to be an easy task and she already dreaded the next two days of nothing but paperwork.

As productive as the day had been at the office, her mind was distracted. She wondered how it went at school with Sandy and the boys. She hadn't heard from them all day and hoped that was a good sign. Maybe no news was good news. Surely Sandy would have called if something important had transpired.

It felt good to be home. She placed her briefcase on the bench by the door and noticed the house was unusually quiet. With Ryan grounded, Seth was usually doing 'something' to try to entertain Ryan.

She found Sandy sitting at the kitchen table, his head in his hands and a nearly empty glass of wine in front of him. The clicking of her heels against the floor tiles got his attention and he looked at her. His expression made her stomach drop.

"What is it Sandy? Where are the boys? Did something happen at school today?"

Again, Sandy leaned back in his chair and motioned to the chair next to him. Quickly taking a seat, Kirsten held her breath waiting for an explanation.

"School was fine. There was a new Dean there. Her name is Mrs. Lloyd and she seemed genuine when she welcomed Ryan to Harbor with open arms. Dr. Kim resigned last night. Ryan was more than shocked to learn he wasn't being expelled and Seth was more than elated to know that Ryan was staying. The Dean waved Ryan's last two days of detention saying he most likely skipped school because of pressure from Dr. Kim. I let the boys go to the pier to check out some comics."

"Okay…so…why the long face and the Merlot?"

Signing, "Because we have a bigger problem than fighting Dr. Kim and Harbor High," he explained, handing the yellow envelope to his wife.

Kirsten anxiously opened the notice and took in the information. Her stomach somersaulted when she read the notice pertained to Ryan's foster case. And her heart stalled at the sentence that included, '…the Birth Mother (Dawn Atwood) has 30 days to reclaim parental custody of the Juvenile (Ryan Atwood)…'

"…at such time, the Juvenile (Ryan Atwood) would be removed from foster care and returned to his Birth Mother (Dawn Atwood)," Kirsten read out loud at barely a whisper. "Can she actually do this? Could we really lose him?"

Nodding with a pale face, "His Mother's signature is missing from one of the original documents. As a result, his case goes into sort of a lock down stage and his Mom has thirty days to change her mind…and take him back home."

"Sandy, we can't lose him. He belongs here. He's come so far…he can't go back there. Can't we fight this?"

Shaking his head, "Not really. She's his birth mother. All we can do is prepare a case to present to the judge about how well he's done since he's been here, but if she really wants him back…" Sandy's voice faded, unable to say the words. He didn't want to say the words. He wanted Ryan to stay.

The front door closed and Seth's mouth could be heard running a mile a minute about some comic. Ryan was silent as usual, letting Seth carry on. Entering the kitchen, Ryan raised his hand to cut Seth's blabbering short.

"Hey Kirsten. Um…Sandy gave me permission to go out with Seth…"

Keeping her back to him, "It's okay Ryan," she said quietly.

Not buying it, "But…you're mad me, aren't you?" he stated matter-of-factly.

Shaking her head, Kirsten was overcome with emotion and started crying. Standing up abruptly, she walked over and threw her arms around Ryan who was unexpectedly terrified by the gesture.

"Kirsten…Kirsten, get off of me." Pulling away from Kirsten, Ryan looked to Sandy for help only to find he had a similar expression on his face. Once he got free of Kirsten's hug, "What did I do?" he asked with a panicked voice. "Sandy said it was okay, I wouldn't have gone if…"

"It's not that son," Sandy interrupted. "Come sit down here a minute and read this."

"Sandy I don't think that's a good idea," Kirsten worried with Ryan taking a seat at the table.

"We promised Ryan we wouldn't lie to him remember? This is too important for him to not know the truth."

Handing the notice to Ryan, Kirsten and Seth gathered near the table to see his reaction. Sandy and Kirsten knew it wouldn't be good. They watched his mouth drop open and his head tip back slightly. His breathing picked up and he shook his head.

"This has to be a mistake…right? She can't do this, can she?"

"Ryan, we don't want this to happen any more than you do. But if she refuses to sign the incomplete document within the thirty days, we have no choice but to relinquish our custody of you."

Sandy's eyes were sad. Ryan could actually see the pain in them. Looking down at the table he glared at the document. This was a nightmare. It had to be. As much as he had prepared himself for the fact that he might get sent back to Chino, now that it was staring him in the face, he realized more than ever that's not what he wanted.

"I'm not going back there. I won't go back there." Standing up from the table, anger took over and Ryan stormed through the house and out the front door with the Cohens hot on his trail.

"Ryan, please," Kirsten begged. "It may not come to that. She may sign the document right away and then nothing would change. You would stay here…with us."

Breaking out in nervous laughter. "You just don't get it. She doesn't want me here. I'm happy here. She's doesn't like it when I'm happy," Ryan raged. He paced the driveway next to Sandy's car, his temper rapidly reaching explosive levels. "I'm an Atwood. You're not allowed to be happy if you're an Atwood," he said out loud, more to himself than to the Cohens. "After everything she's put me through…if she doesn't sign that paper…" Ryan spun around and, growling with anger, put his fist through the driver's side window of Sandy's car.

"Ryan! Stop!" Sandy yelled.

Backing away from the car he watched the shattered glass clink against the ground and twinkle in the sunlight. The action was nothing more than a release of his frustration. He stood silent, staring at the broken glass on the driveway, his chest expanding and contracting with each out of control breath. His lips pursed together clamping his mouth shut forcing heavy breaths through his nose.

"Ryan, listen to me," Sandy's voice was quiet, soothing. "Whatever happens through the courts, we will always be here for you. You can come to us at any time, for anything. You will always be a part of this family."

Ryan's head was still aimed at the driveway but his eyes drifted toward Sandy's feet and refused to look any higher.

"We'll get through this kid…together. Right now I need you to let us take you to the hospital for your hand. Will you let me do that?"

Turning his head, Ryan realized right his hand was dripping a significant amount of blood onto the driveway. Numb from anger, he hadn't even noticed. More stitches. He nodded slightly and allowed Kirsten to wrap his hand in a towel she had retrieved from the house, the blood immediately soaking into the fabric.

"It's going to be okay Ryan. Sandy and I will be with you the entire time," Kirsten encouraged. "You won't be alone. Let's get in the Rover. Sandy can you drive?"

Taking the keys from Kirsten, they all piled into the car. Seth sat quietly in the front seat. He'd seen many sides of Ryan since he arrived. He'd seen him lie, sneak and steal, not to mention drunk. He'd even seen him fight. But this violent episode was a first. This one had Ryan completely and emotionally engaged. This time it was personal.

Ryan sat forward in the back seat, resting his head against the back of Sandy's seat. Kirsten held his toweled hand in an upright position, trying to keep the blood from flowing into his hand.

"It's going to be okay Ryan. This is just a short trip," she soothed.

He didn't answer. Instead he closed his eyes and frowned.

When they arrived at the Emergency Room, surprisingly Ryan was the first person out of the car. Kirsten quickly walked up to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Shrugging it off, "Don't push me! I'm going!" Ryan barked through tight lips, still vibrating with anger.

"Okay, okay," Kirsten answered, putting her hands up in a surrender. "Ryan listen to me. I don't want this to be like your other hospital visits. You're only here for a cut," she sugarcoated, attempting to mask the fact that his hand was bleeding from more than one spot. "This is simple. We could be in and out of here real quick…but if you walk in there with a combative attitude, they will make this a very difficult visit for you and there will be nothing we can do to help you at that point. Do you understand me?"

Ryan turned to glare at her with fire in his eyes. After a bit of hesitation, he just shook his head at her.

"I know honey. You fucking hate it when I'm right."

Shocked at her choice of words, a defeated snort of laughter escaped Ryan, before he nodded in agreement. "I'll calm down," he offered quietly.

"Thank you," Kirsten acknowledged. "Let's get inside and get you fixed up so we can go home."

That familiar hospital smell and it's white walls turned Ryan inside out. Still stewing over the court document, now he was angry that he was back in a hospital, hurt and waiting to be checked out again…ironically at the hand of his mother. Sure he had broken a window with his hand at his own will but he broke it because she was refusing to sign the custody papers.

When the doctor walked in, Ryan closed his eyes and tried to remind himself to stay calm. He listened to the Cohens and the doctor discussing what happened. They were honest. His Mom was never honest with the doctors. He couldn't even count how many times his injuries were caused by her hitting him or throwing something at him. Or how many times she had defended one of her boyfriends who had hurt him. When the doctor's would ask, all of a sudden there was a skateboarding accident or a fight with another boy in the neighborhood, any reason, and the reason was always followed by a stern look to remind Ryan to keep his mouth shut. She never told the truth and she never accepted the blame.

Ryan listened as they recounted how he broke the car window in anger. After some small talk, the doctor asked the Cohens to step out of the room for a moment. The action made Ryan nervous and he jumped off the hospital bed.

"Hey. They said they would stay with me. They said I wouldn't have to be in here alone."

Blocking the doorway and talking quietly, the doctor tried to calm Ryan down.

"Ryan I promise I won't do a thing without them in here, but I need to ask you a few questions first."

"Can't…can't they be in here for the questions?"

"No."

Ryan immediately pull walls up, he knew what was coming. His foster parents had brought him in bleeding and the incident stemmed from anger. The doctor would now weigh the facts to decide who was telling the truth. Yet another game that Ryan knew all too well.

"Mr. Cohen tells me you were angry when you hurt your hand. Were you mad at him?"

Ryan shook his head and avoided eye contact with the doctor.

"Did he tell you you weren't allowed to do something that you wanted to do?"

"No, nothing like that."

"So then why punch out a car window?" the doctor asked methodically.

"Because I got a paper from the court today saying…saying I may have to go back and live with my real Mom if she doesn't sign the right papers."

"You don't want to go back with…"

"No, I don't!" Ryan snapped. 'Calm', he tried to remind himself. "I hate it there. I want to stay with the Cohens. It makes me angry to think she could make me go back to that hell when I know she doesn't even want me there."

"Why do you say that?"

"The only reason she's doing this is because she doesn't want them to have me either."

Nodding, "Well Ryan, let's get to work on that hand so you can go home, shall we?" Off Ryan's look, "I'll go get your foster parents first, of course."

Sandy and Kirsten reentered the room and stood next to Ryan's bed as he laid down. Staring at the broach on Kirsten's lapel, Ryan barely flinched when they started to sew up the cut on his hand. It didn't take long at all and Ryan's hand was stitched up and bandaged. The doctor walked the Cohen's to the Nurse's station to give them their final paperwork to take Ryan home.

"Can I see Ryan now?" Seth asked. He'd been so quiet and so patient in the waiting room, his parents almost forgot he'd come with them.

"Sure Seth. Keep him company, we're almost ready to go."

Disappearing around the corner, Seth headed to Ryan's room. It didn't take long before he came back to his parents.

"Um, Mom?"

"Just a minute Seth. Okay so change the dressing every morning and night, this cream gets applied to the cuts each time. Ice as often as possible during the first forty-eight hours…" Kirsten listed out loud, repeating the doctor's instructions. "See a doctor in two weeks for a follow up visit…"

"But Mom?"

"Seth please wait, this is important."

"So is this!" Seth enforced.

"Alright what?"

"Ryan's gone."

(To be continued)…


	12. Refusing To Let Go

Bad Behavior Chapter 12

Refusing To Let Go

"What?!" Kirsten exclaimed, racing down the hallway toward Ryan's room. Sure enough, the room was empty. He was gone.

"I do not believe this! Seth you don't know anything about…"

"Nooooo. I got here and this is how I found the room. I thought maybe I had the wrong room for a minute but your towel is still laying on the bed so…"

Sandy leaned up against the wall. "I should have seen this coming."

"How could you have known he'd run? I've known all the other times that he ran and I didn't get that vibe today." Sighing, "What do we have to do to teach this kid that running isn't the answer?"

"He doesn't want to go back to Chino," Sandy offered quietly. "We've obviously accomplished what we set out to do. He's gotten sort of comfortable here and now he's threatened with having to leave and he realizes he doesn't want to go. As twisted as this is going to sound, when he broke the car window, it made me realize that he really wants to stay here."

"And to think we just got that whole thing with Dr. Kim off his back and things were starting to look up," Seth observed. "So much for starting over."

The room fell silent. Seth and Sandy were both startled when Kirsten jumped suddenly with a revelation.

"Oh my God! I think I know where he is!"

Running from the room, she yelled over her shoulder for Sandy to finish up the paperwork and meet her downstairs. She hoped her hunch was right. If it wasn't, she would be at the mercy of waiting for Ryan to contact them again.

Bursting through the last set of double doors, she went directly to the desk. "Hi Susie. Is my son here?" She held her breath waiting for an answer.

"He sure is. He mentioned you'd be coming down here in a hurry," she chuckled. "Go on in."

Making her way through the second set of doors, there she found Ryan sitting in front of the big window to the Nursery with his back to her. Instantly she let out a sigh of relief.

"You really need to tell someone where you're going when you take off Ryan. I'm getting old and could do without the heart failure," she stated dryly, walking up to stand in front of him.

"I just couldn't stay up there any more."

Kirsten looked at him curiously, "So why come down here?"

"Do you ever look at them and wonder what their lives will be like?" he asked, nodding at the babies beyond the glass.

Kirsten looked at Ryan quizzically, anxious for him to explain what he was feeling.

"You know, which one will be the prom queen? Which one will be captain of the football team? Which one will end up with the alcoholic mother?" Ryan's voice got quiet, "Why me you know? Out of all those kids…"

The comment pierced Kirsten's heart. Her eyes blurred with tears when she noticed Ryan trying his best to stay strong, fighting off his own tears. When he turned to face her, his eyes bared his soul. He wanted an answer.

"You've had a hard life so far Ryan," Kirsten explained, tears escaping against her will. "I'm guessing you were chosen because you're so strong. You're so much stronger than most kids your age. That strength got you through to this point and it brought you to us. If you had a great life, you wouldn't need us."

"Yeah but…I might end up going back and then I end up with nothing all over again. She doesn't care about me."

"If you think we're going to just hand you over without a fight, you're sorely mistaken," Kirsten smiled through her pain.

"You really want me to stay?" Ryan asked, his eyes still pleading for answers.

"We all want you to stay and we're going to dig our heels in as along as possible."

She offered him a soft smile. His chin shook momentarily before he spoke. "I'm glad someone wants me," he whispered.

Giving Ryan a sincere hug, "How about we get out of here? I think I've seen enough of this place for one day."

"No argument here."

Ryan had dozed off on the couch in the den with Seth sitting on the floor playing video games with the voice turned down on the TV. Sandy and Kirsten moved to the living room to discuss Ryan's situation.

"I don't see how a judge could look at this kid and feel that sending him back to that environment is what's best for him."

"I agree with you Kirsten, but we both know the system is full of loopholes. I'd hate to treat his mother this way because in the end, that's still his mother, but, if we play up her alcoholism and lack of unemployment, it would force an extension on the case. It would buy us some time. The court would allow her time to go into Rehab and find a job. Based on what I've seen, I don't think she could handle either."

"Isn't Ryan old enough to just say what he wants? Can't he choose?"

"Would you want to stand in front of your mother and tell her you'd rather live with a different family?"

Kirsten let her head fall back against the couch. Sandy had a point. There was no easy way around this. They had no choice but to ride out this storm and see what happened when the floodwaters resided.

"Hey." Seth caught them off guard.

"Ryan still sleeping?"

"Yeah," he paused. "Was I the only one scared to death today when he smashed that window? I mean, I've seen him ornery, but that was…that was down right pissed off. I've never seen him that angry."

"Seth, there's a lot you don't know about Ryan," Sandy explained quietly. "He has every reason to be upset over this. Just…don't ask him too many questions. He's got a lot on his mind right now."

Seth nodded and glanced down at the floor. The room was still with each of the Cohens considering the fact they may be losing the newest member of their family.

"Kirsten?" a scruffy voice called from the kitchen doorway.

"Ryan, you okay?"

"No. My hand hurts," he explained, shuffling into the living room and sitting down on a chair across from Sandy.

"I'll get you some Advil and some ice okay?"

Ryan nodded watching Kirsten head toward the kitchen. He allowed his eyes to seek out Sandy who he found watching him. Dropping his eyes to his bandaged hand, "I'm sorry I broke your window Sandy."

"In the grand scheme of things, better that window than my face I guess. I know you're angry son, we all are."

"Can't I just tell the judge I want to stay here? Do I have to go back there?"

"It's not quite that simple. Your Mom has to make up her mind first. We can't do anything until she makes that decision. If she refuses to sign, we can present our side of things but…it's difficult to fight a birth mother."

"She's not a mother…she's a train wreck," Ryan mumbled under his breath."

"Here you go Ryan," Kirsten interrupted offering him some medicine and a glass of water.

"I have to go back to Chino and talk to her." Seeing all the eyes staring at him, "You can come with if you want, but I have to do this."

Sandy and Kirsten exchanged a look. They didn't like the sound of this.

The car ride down to Chino was filled with tension. No one said a word. Seth and Kirsten were anxious to see Ryan's Mom for the first time as well as get a glimpse of her home, a hint of Ryan's previous life. Sandy's mind was consumed knowing full well what was awaiting them. And he had no doubt it would go badly. Just how badly would remain to be seen. Ryan sat staring out the window. He also knew this trip was a shot in the dark but still a chance worth taking. He was more concerned about Seth and Kirsten tapping into his old life, they had no idea what they were getting into.

When the car stopped at the curb, all of it's occupants gawked at the broken down home with the overrun yard. Seth made a mental note about the rusted car in the yard and the boarded up window near the corner of the house.

Ryan took a deep breath before sharing some practical advice with the Cohens. "Look, um, nothing I could ever say could prepare you for…any of this. You're in Chino now and things are different here. Whatever happens inside just…stay out of it and let me handle it."

Making their way to the door, they all stood behind Ryan as he nervously knocked on the warped wood. The sound of something crashing inside signaled someone was home. Ryan shifted his weight as the door opened and a rather worn and disheveled woman answered the door.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, not exactly overjoyed with Ryan's presence on her doorstep.

"I need to talk to you for a minute. Can we come in?"

That's when the woman realized Ryan wasn't alone. "Oh, um, sure. Come in."

Stepping into the house the Cohens, especially Seth and Kirsten, got to see the big picture. The house was not only a mess in the unkept sense, there were items overturned and broken, clearly the scene of many disagreements.

"I'm…I'm sorry. I, uh…I wasn't expecting company. I'm Dawn Atwood. I'm Ryan's Mom."

"Mrs. Atwood, we met in court. My name is Sandy Cohen and this is my wife, Kirsten, and my son, Seth. We're Ryan's foster family."

"Please call me Dawn. So," she asked nervously. "What brings all of you here?"

"My custody papers," Ryan explained flatly, staring at his Mom.

"Oh, um, this sounds like a topic that might require an ice breaker and we're all out of..."

"It's pretty pathetic if you can't even talk to me without needing a drink," Ryan instigated.

"Not to mention, Ryan is too young to drink let alone purchase alcohol," Seth noted.

"Oh Ryan wouldn't buy it, he'd steal…it…for me," Dawn explained, catching herself in a comment she shouldn't have shared.

Ryan's eyes darted to the side where the Cohens were standing. They knew he stole things, this information wasn't exactly new, but putting in their faces like that gave him a shiver of embarrassment.

Dawn took out a pack of cigarettes and nervously fumbled with it. Trying to find some common ground, she offered the pack to Ryan.

Shaking his head, "I quit," he stated bluntly.

She chuckled at him, confused by his behavior. "You quit?"

"There's no smoking at my house."

"Your house?" she mocked, growing agitated with him. "Why are you talking to me as if I'm in your past? This is your house. Your home is with me Ryan! I am your Mother! I have a right to make this decision!" she cried out.

Laughing out loud, "Right! Because you're so into the whole 'Mom' thing! And because you miss me so much you're going to use all thirty days to decide whether or not you really want me to come back home when the Cohens made up their minds the minute they read the letter from the court. How could I not see the obvious? Nothing says 'I love you Ryan' like taking thirty days to think about it!"

Infuriated, his Mother lashed out and slapped his face. Kirsten gasped and Sandy grabbed her arm, he wanted to see what Ryan would do without them interfering.

Unfazed, Ryan turned his face back to his mother after the slap, the Cohens could see his face turning red from the contact.

"Glad to see some things are still reliable…you still think love is shown with your hands. Why do you want me back? Is it because you need someone to steal your booze and your cigarettes for you? Maybe it's because you need someone to call you in sick to work because you're hung over again. Maybe you just need me around to clean up everything after you've spent the night puking," Ryan added, tapping his foot on the carpet, pointing at a stain.

"Ryan, you're my son. Don't talk to me like that," she pleaded.

As cold as ice he glared at her, "I don't want to be your son anymore. I want to be their son. You do whatever you have to do but if you make me come back here, I will make your life a living hell. I'm asking you to let me go."

His Mother turned to the Cohens, "You can't just take him away from me like this…"

As a Mother, Kirsten's heart ached for the woman, dysfunctional as she was. Stepping forward, Kirsten made every attempt to make Ryan proud.

"We just want what's best for Ryan. He's made some really great progress since he's come to live with us. He did indeed quit smoking, he's calmed down and he's not partying like he used to…he's even going to school and he's turning in his homework. He's really trying and we're very proud of him."

Cracking a smile, she just shook her head at Kirsten, "Now I know you're lying…Ryan doesn't go to school."

"I do now," Ryan answered dryly to his Mother's dismay. "Mom…just let me go. I can have a better life there, I can do something with my life."

Missing Ryan's point entirely, his Mother grew angry again. "And what gives you the right to have a better life than me? Huh? What gives you the right to choose a better family or a better life than the one I gave you?"

Ryan exploded. "I didn't choose this life, I got stuck with you! I didn't ask for a Mom that would be drunk and puking seven days out of the week! I didn't ask for a Mom that would beat the shit out of me or allow her boyfriends to use me as a punching bag! I never asked for any of this! Matter of fact, I've never asked you for a damn thing! I've been taking care of myself for as long as I can remember. If you want to be the Mom you think you are, then do this for me. Let me go!"

No one said a word. The only sounds were Ryan's exasperated breaths and his Mother's sobs.

"Please…just let me go," he repeated.

"Ryan, I think we should go," Kirsten urged. "Come on. Seth, Sandy…"

Turning away from his Mother, a disappointed and spent Ryan walked out the front door followed by Seth and Sandy. The two women stood alone, both waiting for the other to say something, anything.

"You're a mother. How can you do this to me? He's my son."

Kirsten felt a whoosh of dizziness from the weight of the words thrown at her. 'Make Ryan proud' she thought to herself. That's what he would want.

"Mrs. Atwood, you don't know us or anything about us. You have no idea the lengths we've gone to in order to help Ryan. He really has made some changes in his life and he's…"

"Help him? You don't know anything about him. Nuthin' at all. You think I'm just not a good mom? You have no idea what a handful he is," she retorted.

Stepping up to Ryan's Mom, Kirsten made a point of maintaining her composure. "You think we don't know the real Ryan? We've seen him drunk. We've seen him steal things. We've seen him get into fights. We've caught him with girls. He can definitely throw down a heavy attitude when he wants to. But what you don't know, is under all of that, there's one hell of a great kid that's just dying to come out, to be normal. I know it, because I've seen it."

Considering Kirsten's words for a moment, Dawn stood staring holes through her. "Why is he willing to be good for you and not for me? What's so special about you? He's playing with you, that's what he does. He's a lying little bastard! You're nothing to him! I am his Mother!" she protested rather emotionally.

"On the contrary, Ryan has had some undeniably honest moments since coming into our family. I think it's because he wants to be treated like a real person…and he gets that in our home," Kirsten replied with quiet confidence.

Knowing she had nothing else to add, not to mention, that was a good comment to leave Dawn thinking, Kirsten turned towards the door. She had only walked a couple of steps before Dawn decided she would get the last word in.

"What about his hand? I saw his hand was bandaged. I'm sure that was from another fight right? He hasn't changed…you haven't changed him. Don't you see he's costing you money?"

The desperate attempt at getting Kirsten to turn her back on Ryan only fueled her desire to see this thing through. "You're right. As a matter of fact he did punch something. He ran out of the house and put his fist through my husband's car window…right after he read the court's letter saying he may have to come back here and live in Chino, with you."

It was now Kirsten's turn to stand and stare at the speechless woman in front of her. The other Mom had a gambit of emotions flashing across her face, anger, hurt, even fear. Having had enough, Kirsten put an end to the stale conversation.

"As his Mother I expect you to fight for him. But, I feel it's only fair to warn you…we've grown quite attached to him and we aren't going to lose him without a fight. When you come to court in two weeks, you better bring everything you've got because I can promise you…we will."

Dawn searched for the right words, words that would sting back. Watching Kirsten open the door she called out, "You can't have him! He's my son! You can't have him!"

Kirsten ignored the voice and walked to the car where she found the rest of her family. Ryan's Mother could see them leaving together through the living room windows. She could see both of the foster parents with an arm around Ryan and their other son walking backwards in front of Ryan with his mouth and arms moving a mile a minute. They definitely did seem attached to Ryan, literally. As they drove away, the gut of her stomach sank with the realization that she may have already lost him.

Time continued to fly by and there was only a week left before Ryan's court date and there was still no word from his Mom. As expected, his behavior had changed to cranky and impatient. Even though the Cohens were doing everything they could to keep tabs on Ryan, they were open minded enough to know it would get worse before it got better.

Open house at Harbor High began at seven o'clock sharp. With Ryan and Seth off in the cafeteria sampling desserts from the PTA, Sandy and Kirsten made the rounds to all of their teachers to pick up progress reports and discuss any potential concerns. While it was made obvious to them that not every teacher was comfortable with Ryan in their classroom, his grades were undeniable and they showed his foster parents he really was making an attempt to turn his life around.

Leaving the last classroom, Kirsten and Sandy were on cloud nine. The evening had been a pleasant surprise of nothing but good news. Holding hands they recounted some of the comments they'd heard that night about their boys. Among many things, they laughed at Mrs. Milling's description of Ryan's 'look of concentration' which she kindly avoided referring to as a glare, even though the Cohens knew that look all too well. They also laughed about Ms. Chao's description of Seth's artistic talents…or lack there of, when it came to sketching still life.

Elated to finally reach the cafeteria and catch up with the boys for a celebration, they wrestled their way through the crowded lunchroom to the boys' location.

"Well gentlemen," Sandy said with fake foreshadowing in his voice. "Okay, I can't tease about this. You both got great reports from all your teachers and we're very proud of both of you."

"Outstanding!" Seth cheered before leaning over to Ryan. "Ryan this is where we ask them for some money, you know, for all our hard work."

"Easy Seth," Sandy warned. "Come on guys, it's time to go."

Making their way out to the quad ahead of the parents, Ryan let Seth ramble on about spending his reward money. Laughing at some of his ideas came to a halt at the bottom of the stairs when they found themselves face to face with double trouble, Blaine and Carter.

"Look how proud. Maybe Mommy and Daddy will give you some candy for your good grades."

"Blaine why do you have to act like this? Why don't you just back off?" Seth asked, hoping to keep things from getting out of hand.

"Oh wait a second, that won't work. Ryan here doesn't have a Mommy and Daddy. It's because you're a pain in the ass and no one wants you, isn't it? What's it like being an orphan?"

Ryan's breathing was picking up and Seth noticed him making fists with his hands.

"He's got a family, he's got us," Seth stated pointedly in a protective manner.

"What's it like Ryan? What's it like to be the ugly dog at the pound, the dog that no one wants? You think the Cohens want you? No one wants you."

"I'd shut up if I were you," Ryan warned.

"Or what?

"Or you'll be sorry."

Laughing, "You think you can threaten me? I'm not afraid of you. More importantly…a week from now I'll still have a home. And you? You'll be back on the street…where all the wild animals belong."

Ryan's heart was pounding so hard he could feel his face flushing and everything around him seemed to turn into silent, slow motion. Lunging forward he tackled Blaine to the ground and let his fists fly. Every ounce of bottled up anger regarding his custody case was released in punch after punch. He could hear Seth's voice faintly in the background. He knew he was pleading for him to stop, but he wouldn't. Not this time. This time Blaine would get what he had coming to him. Ryan's fists made contact again and again. Contact to the body, contact to the face, it didn't matter. He hadn't even realized that Blaine had stopped fighting back and barely had the strength to cover his bloodied face. Ryan could hear more voices calling him…Sandy's voice…and Kirsten's voice. They seemed so far away. Just about the time he was starting to register their words, he was pulled off of Blaine the thrown down to the ground on his stomach. He could feel someone kneeling across the back of his neck and shoulders and he could feel his arms being pulled to his back…and cuffed.

The sound returned to his ears all at once it seemed and suddenly the mayhem around him registered at full force. Everyone was talking all at once. He could hear a woman crying. He could hear police radios and the phrase "juvenile in custody" caught his attention immediately. Two officers jerked him to his feet where he was able to turn his head and look at scene around him. Blaine lay unconscious in the grass with his hysterical mother being held back by other women. The sound of an ambulance approaching cut through the night.

Then he saw them. The Cohens. Seth maintained an expression of horror. Horror at the scene in front of him, horror at the fact that Ryan caused it, and even horror at the fact that this incident probably cost him the only brother he ever had. Turning his head further, he locked eyes with Sandy and Kirsten and for the first time felt truly ashamed about his actions. It wasn't ten minutes prior when they had just congratulated him and told him how proud they were and he had spoiled it. The hurt was apparent on their faces and it was more than Ryan could stand. Swallowing hard he turned away from them just in time to be led to the backseat of a waiting police car.

Before the door was slammed, Sandy squat down next to Ryan even though he refused to look at Sandy.

Clearing his throat, "Strike three," Ryan spat out quietly with a bit of fear in his voice. "I appreciate everything you did for me, I know you tried. I know all of you tried. I guess I'm just not destined for better things."

"You hang tough kid. We aren't through with you. I'll see you at Juvie, just keep your mouth shut for now."

Standing up Sandy put a reassuring hand on Ryan's shoulder. He noticed his chin trembling and single teardrop fall and bleed into the fabric of Ryan's jeans. Stepping back he allowed the car door to close and he watched the red and blues lights speed off and disappear into the night.

(To be continued)…


	13. Just A Number

Bad Behavior Chapter 13

Just a Number

Ryan paced his cell like a caged animal, a caged animal that had tasted freedom. His nights were plagued by the events that brought him back to Juvie, robbing him of sleep and his days were spent trying to keep his head above water. Juvie wasn't the sort of place to make any friends or alliances, unless you were planning a boost the minute you got out. No, it was best to keep to yourself if you knew what was good for you.

Sitting on the edge of his bunk in the early morning hours, Ryan's mind wandered. He thought about the Cohens and the lengths they went to on his behalf. He thought about his room, the pool house. Looking around his cell made him nauseous. His mind tormented him with all the things he missed, like the great food and the ridiculously humorous rituals Seth would put on during ordering or the fresh scent of fabric softner on his pillowcase and his clothes. He missed the privacy of his room. He would have given anything to be back in his own bed complaining about the lack of blinds in his room. On second thought, he wouldn't complain at all. Instead he'd welcome the fact that he had windows instead of the concrete walls and steel bars he was currently staring at.

Hours had passed. Another sleepless night was coming to an end as the overhead lights hummed to life and the morning buzzer rang out to signal the start of another grueling day. Taking a deep breath, Ryan sighed and dragged himself to his feet. Standing in front of his cell door, he waited for the guard to come by to confirm the morning count. After several minutes, he heard the familiar 'clink' of the cell door allowing him to go to breakfast.

The mess hall was always a zoo, it didn't matter what time of day it was. There were fights even at breakfast and the food was bad no matter what meal was being served. Opting for some oatmeal and orange juice, Ryan took a seat alone. Unimpressed with the tray in front of him, again his mind wandered to the fresh bagels Kirsten would put out each morning and the scent of name brand coffee that lingered in the air in the Cohen kitchen.

"Hey man, you care if I sit here?"

Being snapped back to reality against his will Ryan let his eyes locate the voice before narrowing themselves on the source. Turning away, irritated, Ryan concentrated on his meal.

"You been here long?" the unwelcome guest asked.

"I don't remember saying I felt like talking," Ryan replied without looking up.

Plopping himself down, "Yeah well, with an attitude like that, you're gonna be here for the long haul. Better be mindful of who you talk to like that."

Offering his best look of intimidation, Ryan locked eyes with the stranger. The stare carried on longer than both expected, long enough in fact for a guard to take notice.

"Atwood…Meyers…that's enough. Knock it off and eat."

Meyers gave in first. Obeying the guard he ate his breakfast. Ryan glared a bit longer before looking down at his oatmeal. It seemed even less appealing than it did when he first sat down. Standing up, he discarded the food and turned in his tray. The same guard that put an end to the stare down stopped Ryan before he could leave the mess hall.

"Hey, whatever is going on with you and Meyers it ends here. Understand me?"

Ryan knew better that to look directly at the guards. The guards called that 'eyeballing' and it was considered an aggressive act. He let his head face the ground without saying a word. He knew the guard would take that as an agreement. Sure enough, the guard removed his baton and allowed Ryan access back to the main hallway. He'd only been back in Juvie less than a week but he knew the routines forwards and backwards. Back in his cell he plopped himself down on his bunk again to waste away the hours. After another fifteen minutes, another announcement was made and all the cell doors slammed shut. He was on lock down again until lunch.

Having dozed off at some point, Ryan was startled when he heard the snap of his cell door and the lunch announcements being made. Sitting up on his elbows on his bunk he decided to skip lunch, he wasn't hungry anyways. Laying back down he closed his eyes and hoped to fall back asleep while the corridor was quiet and most of the floor's occupants were in the mess hall.

"Atwood! On your feet!"

The guard from the morning entered his cell and waited for Ryan to stand up.

"Why aren't you in the mess hall?"

"Not hungry," Ryan answered, keeping his eyes off the guard.

"What's the matter? You don't like my food Atwood? Huh?" he asked sternly.

"Just not hungry."

"You wouldn't lie to me would you Atwood?" The guard stepped up, practically right on top of Ryan, causing him to swallow nervously.

"No sir."

The guard provided a dramatic pause before replying. "I guess we'll see, won't we?"

He watched Ryan stand motionless and expressionless before him. He had never seen this kid before but this kid knew how to play the game. Putting some distance between them, "You're wanted down in the 'Kiss and Cry'. I'd get moving if I were you."

The 'Kiss and Cry', that was the nickname for the visitor's area. It got that title mostly for all the parents that would 'kiss and cry' when it was time to say goodbye, but it was also called that because many of the Juvie's couldn't contain their emotions either when their family left.

Ryan obeyed the guard and went to the assigned area. He assumed Sandy was there to talk about his case, either of his cases…or both of his cases. He picked at the cuff of his navy blue jumpsuit, waiting for Sandy.

"Hey man," Seth greeted.

The look of shock was more than obvious on Ryan's face causing Seth to keep babbling.

"Thanks. Yeah I've been fine. It's good to see you too."

"Seth what are you doing here?" Ryan asked, noticing him absorbing every inch of his surroundings, clearly uncomfortable and jumping at every little sound.

"What do you mean? I came here to see you."

Embarrassed, "I know but…you don't belong here…at all."

Hurt by Ryan's blunt honesty, "Yeah but, we're like brothers right? I mean, I need you to know that this doesn't change that."

Ryan could see Seth was still desperately clinging to him even though he was locked up. "It's just…" he paused while Seth jumped at yet another noise. "I don't want you to see me like this," he added quietly before looking down at the table. "Does you're Mom know you're here?"

"Yeah, she's right there," Seth pointed to the windows separating the 'Kiss and Cry' from the main lobby. "They would only let one of us in at a time since you're on the violent floor," Seth quoted the air with his fingers to emphasize the word 'violent'. Hoping to keep the conversation going, Seth started rambling about anything that came to mind. "So, I went out and got some new video games for when you come home and I told my Mom she should order…what? What's wrong? What's the matter?" Seth asked looking at Ryan's frowning face.

"Seth…just…stop. Okay?"

"Okay," Seth obeyed quietly.

Sighing, "Look, there's a really good chance…that I'm going to be stuck in here for a while."

"Yeah I know but…"

"A long while," Ryan explained to Seth's disappointment. "And then there's still this shit with my Mom and the custody papers. I don't know when I'm getting out, or even where they'll send me when I do. I just…I wouldn't go planning any parties right now…okay?"

The reality of Ryan's incarceration hit Seth like a brick. All the happiness drained out of him. Until Ryan made that comment he still had hope that things would work out and Ryan would come home quickly.

"Well, I'm not going to turn my back on you Ryan. As long as you're in here, I'll come see you and that way…"

"Don't."

"Dude you're killing me. Why?"

"Because," Ryan explained, his voice squeaking with frustration, "You coming here only reminds me of how I let all of you down. It reminds me of what I had and how I lost it all. It's just easier for me to forget about it as soon as possible. This is going to be my life for a while and fucking sucks in here…"

"Atwood…lower your voice," one of the guards reprimanded with Seth looking on.

"Seth I'm not going to be let out of here anytime soon."

"You don't know that. You're first court date is next Tuesday. Don't say that."

"It's just going to be easier for me if I get my head back in this life," Ryan struggled with the words. "I appreciate you coming here and all but…don't come back. Take care of yourself okay? Don't let anyone push you around alright?"

Ryan offered a forced smile and then looked away, blinking repeatedly to hide the tears that were forming. Standing up abruptly, he offered a handshake to Seth who pulled him into a 'guy' hug.

"I don't care what you say man. I'm not giving up on you. You watch you're back in here. I want you back in one piece."

Ryan heard Seth's words but did everything he could to avoid letting them penetrate his soul. Raising his eyes ever so briefly to Kirsten, he quickly dropped his sight to the floor and disappeared through the gate, blending back into the population.

"Seth? Is it okay if I come in?" Sandy asked, knocking on his bedroom door. Hearing a faint acknowledgement, he entered Seth's room and flipped on the light.

Seth had tucked himself away in his bedroom since returning from visiting Ryan and he refused to tell his Mom anything about the visit. Kirsten knew something had obviously transpired by Seth's personality. She hoped sending Sandy in to talk to Seth would shed some light on the situation.

"So, I take it it didn't go very well today," Sandy began. When Seth finally raised his head to his Father, Sandy could see his eyes were red and swollen. "Son what is it? What did he say to you? I don't understand."

"He told me not to come back. He said that seeing me reminded him of how he screwed up and how many people he let down and since he's not going to get out of Juvie any time soon, it would be easier for him to just forget about us and get used to that life."

Sandy sat in shock on the edge of Seth's bed. For everything he had prepared to discuss and prepared to hear, this was not among his options.

"I don't want to forget him and I don't want him to forget me. Can't you get him out of there? Isn't there anything you can do? Anything?" Seth begged desperately.

"Seth, Ryan had…Ryan had some things on his record before he came here. He was not a good boy. He knew that one more screw up would probably send him back to Juvie for an extended period of time. This was the third strike as far as the system is concerned. Not to mention, he hurt Blaine pretty bad. That's not going to go away. His first hearing is on Tuesday and there's nothing we can even guess at until he goes before the judge on that day."

"This is a nightmare," Seth complained.

"Just keep the faith son. The important thing to do right now is make sure Ryan knows, despite how he feels and what his wishes are, that we are not giving up on him."

"But he won't see me. How can I be supportive if he won't even see me?"

"Ah, but we have the secret weapon," Sandy smiled, flicking his massive eyebrows at his son.

"And that would be what?"

"Your Mother."

Ryan peeled his eyes open to the sound of the gates opening for breakfast. Closing his eyes for what he thought was only a few seconds longer, he drifted back to sleep and was rustled awake by his least favorite guard.

"ATWOOD! GET UP!"

The guard grabbed Ryan by the front of his jumpsuit, yanked him off his bunk and shoved him up against the opposite wall.

"You trying to make my job difficult Atwood?"

When Ryan didn't answer fast enough, the guard slapped him full force across the face.

"Wake up Atwood! Let's go! I've got a schedule to keep!" Shoving Ryan to the doorway, the guard shouted to his comrades, "Atwood, accounted for!"

"Atwood, accounted for!" The other guard acknowledged.

Giving Ryan another shove back towards his bunk, the cell guard got on his radio. "Command I need a lock down on cell 1423. This Juvie just lost his breakfast privileges for today."

With that, Ryan's gate clanked shut.

"You better get your act together by lunchtime Atwood, or we're gonna go again," the guard warned, tapping his baton on the cell bars. Ryan knew what that meant. The slap from the guard had been a warning as well. If there was a problem at lunch, the baton would do the talking next time and that was a talk Ryan would try to avoid at all costs.

When the guard finally walked away, Ryan laid back down on his bunk and let the sting of his tears seep into his pillow. He felt broken. He missed the Cohens more and more with each passing moment. They didn't treat him like this, even when he screwed up and they never, ever, laid a hand on him. There were still two more days until Ryan went before the judge. Two more days until he found out his fate and how long he'd have to stay in this hell.

Before Ryan could even change his thoughts, the next task to the day was lurking.

"Atwood! To the 'Kiss and Cry'! Let's go, move it!"

Quickly changing emotion, Ryan wiped his face with his sleeve and switched over to a hearty angry attitude. Keeping his head down, he made his way through the crowded corridor, mentally preparing to give Seth a mouthful when he got a hold of him in the 'Kiss and Cry'. What? Did Seth think he explained all of that the day before for nothing?"

Striding through the last gate, he walked into the room with purpose and bursting with attitude. Turning the corner however, his mouth dropped open when he found Kirsten sitting in the 'Kiss and Cry'. Freezing in his steps, his heart lurched unsure of what to do. The guard in Visitation didn't appreciate him standing so close to the doorway so he grabbed Ryan by the arm and forced him up to Kirsten's table where Ryan yanked his arm away from the guard.

"Are we going to have a problem Atwood? Huh?" Ryan jumped at the guard's words. Kirsten could see he was already a different kid in this place. They had spent months breaking down Ryan's walls and in a matter of days he had replaced every single one of them

Ryan licked his lips and grit his teeth, "No Sir."

Taking a seat at the guard's instructions, Ryan slowly raised his eyes to Kirsten's after the guard walked away.

"Oh my God what happened to your face?"

"It's nothing."

"But Ryan…"

"I said it's nothing. Just…just forget about it."

"How can you ask me to ignore that?"

"Because this is as easy as it gets in here."

His explanation gave Kirsten goosebumps. She noticed him keeping tabs on his surroundings, every sound, the location of every guard. She also noticed he had a hard time looking at her.

"Ryan, it's going to be okay. We're going to get through this as a family."

"Yeah, sure." His forced laugh pretended to play along, allowing Kirsten to hear the words she wanted to hear.

"Ryan…look at me…"

He tried, more than once, to meet her eyes but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It hurt too much. He could feel his eyes heating up with moisture.

"Ryan don't lose your strength now that you need it the most. That strength is going to help you find your way back home."

Home. There was that word again. A couple of tears escaped from Ryan's eyes and found their way to the tabletop where he quickly covered them up with his arm.

"Atwood, that's five mintues…you're done! Let's go!" the guard called out causing Ryan to stand up immediately.

"I have to go."

"Ryan wait…"

"Kirsten if I don't do what that guy says, he's gonna use that baton on my head. I have to go."

"Wait, just…can I say goodbye to him?" Kirsten requested.

"Make it fast lady, his time is up."

Embracing Ryan, she felt him wrap his arms around her back and hold her tight. "Don't you dare give up on us because we're not giving up on you, okay?" She felt him give a quick nod as he buried a stifled whimper into her shoulder. "Okay. Be strong. We'll see you on Tuesday for your hearing okay?"

Pulling away from Kirsten, he nodded again and tried to nonchalantly wipe his eyes.

"Are you done yet Atwood?" the irritated guard called out walking over to Ryan and getting right in his face. "You ready to eat my food now or are you going to insult me a second time today? Huh?"

Again Kirsten watched Ryan jump at the guard's voice. Covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes met with Ryan's one last time before the guard continued his rampage.

"If you're lucky, maybe there's some scraps left for you in the mess hall. Whatever's left you better find something to eat or you can forget about dinner, understand me?"

Ryan swallowed hard and nodded.

"The mess hall closes down in five minutes…I'd run if I were you."

Without looking at Kirsten or the guard, Ryan turned and walked out of the 'Kiss and Cry', when he reached the hallway he broke into a run and disappeared through a door at the end.

Smiling in spite of himself, the guard turned and noticed Kirsten crying. "I know it seems harsh lady, but we've got to have the upper hand at all times. It'd be total chaos around here if we didn't."

"That may work for most of the kids, this intimidation thing that you do…but it's not going to work on him. That's not the way to reach him."

"Lady he came in here as a violent juvenile. When he shows some respect, he'll get some respect. Until then, he's just a number. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure he's eating like I told him to."

Not allowing Kirsten to share any more comments, the guard crossed the room and strode down the same hall Ryan did. Kirsten was sick with worry. Remembering Ryan's redden cheek and his comment, she could only imagine what went on in this hellish place when no one was looking. No doubt an inmate's word against a guard's word would never hold up.

Walking through the parking lot in a daze, she sat down in her car, closed the door and cried hysterically. They had to get Ryan out of there. They just had to. Dialing Sandy on her cell phone, the tears kept coming. She was so worked up she didn't even hear him answer the phone at first.

"Kirsten? What happened? What's wrong?"

"Sandy, I can't stand him being in here another day. This place is horrible."

Sighing, "I know. I sometimes think Juvie does more harm than good but I don't know that there is anything…"

"Anything…do anything. Just get him the hell out of there. Please Sandy."

"I'll see what I can do."

Meanwhile, back in the mess hall, "Time's up Atwood. You better be done eating."

Jumping up from his chair, Ryan shoveled the last bite in his mouth and quickly gathered up his tray to turn it in.

"Let me see that…what did you eat Atwood?"

Attempting to push the food aside in his mouth so he could talk, "Ham sandwich," he mumbled with his cheeks full.

Picking up the milk carton from his tray, "You didn't even open this Atwood. Down it, let's go."

Inhaling the carton of milk, Ryan quickly discarded his trash and returned his tray. Once again the guard stopped him in the doorway.

"So, who was that woman today?"

Ryan crossed the boundaries by raising his eyes to meet with the guard's. "My foster Mom."

Frowning at Ryan, "She's pretty upset that you're in here. What do you think of her?"

"She's great. The whole family is great. Not sure why they are so interested in me." Ryan let his eyes fall to the floor and hoped the conversation would end there.

"She got to you today…why?"

Embarrassed, Ryan turned away from the guard and shifted his weight nervously.

"Come on kid. If you want me to be real with you, you've got to meet me halfway."

Ryan set his sight on the main corridor, "Because her and her family gave me a chance and I blew it."

The guard watched Ryan wrestling with his inner demons before pressing him further. "If you were given the opportunity to go back and live with them…would you go?"

"In a heartbeat."

The guard studied Ryan for a moment longer. "Alright Atwood, get back to your cell and stay out of trouble."

"Yes Sir," Ryan nodded. When the guard stepped aside, he made his way down the hallway back to his cell. All the while his mind was trying to grasp what just happened. The guard backed down. Guards never backed down. Kirsten must have said something to him and whatever she said made a point and got his attention.

Facing the back wall, Ryan heard the gate lock behind him. In less than forty- eight hours, he'd know his fate. He knew he wouldn't rest until he got his sentence from the judge and even then he knew the news would sicken him. 'Be strong' he told himself, echoing Kirsten's words in his head. Had it been anyone but Kirsten he would have discarded the advice the second he got it. But Kirsten knew him, understood him. The Cohens were digging their heels in just like they promised. He'd have to meet them halfway and stay strong and see what the judge would say.

(TBC…)

A/N: Just a couple of quick tidbits…

**Mel39** – Thanks so much for religiously pimping this story! : D I VERY much appreciate it! : D

**Entis** – You didn't leave me your email so I'll address some of your concerns here…Please remember, I noted in the very first paragraph of this story that you needed to have an open mind. This is a 'hypothetical' story about Ryan therefore, yes, he's going to be different than the Ryan on the show. He's also evolving in his character/personality (ie, the tears) so we're going to see him change some more as the story continues. I'm sorry to hear you feel the story is boring (even though you seem to be solo on that limb according to the other reviews)! : D You have a right to your opinion and that's fine. BUT…I gotta give myself a pat on the back! I'm apparently doing something right because it's obviously not 'that' boring if you're still reading with the rest of us 12 chapters later!!! : D (Wink wink)! It takes a lot of courage to put your thoughts and visions out in front of the world for everyone to see. You've told me twice now in reviews that this one bores you…maybe it's time to move on and let this one be and check out some of the other fabulous stories out there. : D Thanks anyways for stopping by and checking this one out! I hope you find something that suits you. : D

**Everyone** – As always, thanks to one and all for your continued support and the great reviews! I try to read everyone else's work when I can and find many of the stories inspiring! I'm proud of this one so far and hope to do it justice through the end…which has already been written!!! (GASP)!!!

Thanks for stopping by and I'll see y'all in storyland!

Super Chino : D


	14. Serving Time

Bad Behavior Chapter 14

Serving Time

It had been a torturous two days. Ryan had expected Sandy to come by to discuss his case, or cases, with him and he didn't. His absence left Ryan wondering what was going on and if the Cohen's were having second thoughts about assuming full custody of him. Maybe they already knew what was coming and just couldn't face him. With nothing but time on his hands, his mind ran rampant with every possible scenario.

"Time to see the judge Atwood, let's go."

The guard put cuffs on Ryan's hands and led him to the courtroom. Pausing in the hallway, they awaited access to the court. The guard noticed Ryan breathing heavy and looking pale.

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah," Ryan whispered, not convincingly. "I just want this over with."

Walking to his assigned seat, Ryan was partially relieved to see Sandy already at the table, busying himself by flipping through files and papers.

"Ryan…hey…how are you doing?"

"Not so good," he admitted honestly.

Sandy stopped what he was doing and walked over to Ryan and put his hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, I promise. We've got some options and we'll just be open and honest with the judge and take it one step at a time."

"I really screwed up this time though," he stated sadly. "I'm scared this time Sandy. I don't want to stay here anymore."

That comment was as bare bones as Ryan ever got. Sandy looked sympathetically at him. Embracing Ryan, Sandy held him hard.

"I wish I could make this easier for you kid, I know this is hard. You don't have to be afraid. Just remember that you're not alone this time. We're gonna back you every step of the way…and that's a promise."

"When I didn't hear from you…I thought…maybe…"

Sandy pulled back from Ryan so he could look him right in the face. "There is nothing you can do to get away from us now. It's too late, we're nuts about you," Sandy encouraged, pointing into the seats where Kirsten and Seth were sitting, smiling and waving at him.

Ryan gasped a nervous laugh of true relief and nodded at Sandy. He got it now. All of the worrying he did was unfounded. They really were in this till the end no matter what.

Taking his seat next to Sandy, Ryan watched Blaine and his Mother enter the courtroom. Blaine's face was still badly bruised but something about him was different. Ryan couldn't put his finger on it. Blaine's Mother on the other hand was as hard and callous as ever, glaring at Ryan every chance she got.

When the judge entered Ryan thought for sure his heart would jump out of his chest. As much as he dreaded these proceedings, he was anxious to get them over with and put them behind him. Today would be the first day toward getting out of Juvie, no matter what the judge assigned.

"All rise," the Bailiff announced. "The Honorable Judge Maria Whitney presiding."

"We're here today to hear the case of Templeton vs. Atwood. The charges against Atwood are Aggravated Battery and Probation Violation," the judge explained.

The attorney for Blaine's family held the court's attention first. They recounted the incident in question and spared no flamboyant detail when it came to inflating Ryan's violent side. Ryan knew Sandy was a good attorney and he hoped Sandy would be just as ruthless when it was his turn.

When the judge called Sandy to begin his statement, Ryan felt himself go queasy with nerves. Little did he know Sandy was about to deliver a statement that would open the eyes of the court, as well as certain audience members.

"Good afternoon Your Honor. While we are here today over a rather unfortunate incident, there are some details that I feel are extremely pertinent to this case and are worth the court's time."

"Very well Mr. Cohen, continue."

"I am not here to deny the fact that my client did engage in a fist fight with the Plaintiff. Mr. Atwood is entirely aware of his actions and he's demonstrated remorse ever since. What the court, as well at the Templeton family may not be aware of, is why Mr. Atwood lashed out the way he did."

The judge watched Sandy with furled brows, not impressed just yet.

"Mr. Atwood comes from a very challenging background. He came from a physically and mentally abusive home. We're talking about the type of home where his own Mother would encourage him to steal alcohol and cigarettes for her, and yet she would beat him if he didn't do it. We're talking about beatings that involved any means available including belts and bottles and fists. A home where it was his job to care for his religiously inebriated mother, a self-admitted alcoholic. I use the term 'care' loosely. No sixteen year old should have the responsibility of calling his Mother's place of employment to lie on her behalf because she was too hung over to make it into work again. Nor should he have been in a position to be cleaning up vomit on a regular basis for a parent who should be taking care of him instead of partying. We're talking about a home where he had to steal food on many occasions in order to have a meal, or break into a parked car so he'd have somewhere safe to sleep on certain nights. We're even talking about a Mother who refuses to relinquish custody of him to his foster family, for no other reason than to keep him from having a better life than she has. I bring up his custody case momentarily because it has bearing on this case. I'm not only Mr. Atwood's attorney, my family is also his foster family. When Ryan first came to us, he was every bit what his file depicts. He was intolerant, impatient, unpredictable…and unreachable. It took time but my family and I got through to him, not with fists or threats or harsh words, but with patience, persistence and love. Love in itself being something we had to teach this kid. He had no idea what being loved meant. We are in this courtroom today because the Plaintiff has made it his personal quest to throw all of these things back in Ryan's face. Everything Ryan wants to forget, Mr. Templeton has taken it upon himself to remind him, every chance he gets. I would consider that harassment. It has taken my family and I months to help Ryan get a handle on his life and as his foster parent, not his attorney, I can tell you he has turned into a rather impressive young man, with the exception of Blaine's provoking. I cannot stress to the court enough that Mr. Atwood knows this was a mistake and he regrets his actions. I also cannot stress enough to the court that it's possible that a lengthy incarceration would set back his progress on the right track. I request that the court take into consideration, his background as well as his progress. I have reports here from teachers as well as letters from members of the community…even a note from the hospital where Ryan volunteered in the Nursery. This is one child we have to stand behind. Despite the reason we are here today, this kid has worked so hard to turn his life around, against all odds. It would be unjust to throw away or ignore the progress he has made because another boy wouldn't leave him alone. This is one child that not only deserves a second chance, but a child that wants to embrace that second chance. Thank you."

Filled with anxiety, Ryan watched as the judge scribbled notes onto his file. While he was pleased with Sandy's speech, he had no idea what the judge was thinking. The corner of his vision caught Blaine shifting nervously in his seat. He'd obviously never been in a courtroom before.

"Mr. Atwood, please stand and come forward," the judge requested.

With his mouth as dry as cotton, Ryan did as he was told, looking back at Sandy once for encouragement.

"Mr. Atwood," the judge sighed. "Your file is rather thick. Your attorney, and foster father, has explained to me about your background and why you are the way you are, if you will. Tell me why I should believe him."

"Excuse me?"

"Mr. Atwood, you've been in and out of Juvie several times and yet it seems you still have a lesson to learn. You're not getting it. Tell me something I don't already know."

Licking his lips, "Juvie doesn't work on a kid like me. That's the problem."

"And why is that Mr. Atwood?"

"Because most of Juvie is about scaring a kid straight. When you've lived a life like mine, it's just another person yelling at you, another person trying to scare you. It's nothing different than I've already been experiencing. The Cohen's, they don't treat me like that. They've never raised a hand to me. I had a lot of changes to make when I went to live with them and…they get me. They know how to get through to me without yelling or hitting me. I actually want to do the right thing when I'm around them. I never cared before they came along."

"I see. Tell me, what upsets you the most right now? What is the one thing you wish you could change? I want you to be honest with me."

"I miss being with them. Technically they're my foster family but they're the closest thing I've ever had to a normal family."

The judge studied Ryan carefully and he squirmed under her stare.

"Mr. Atwood, you file is full of crime and violence and pure disregard for authority. I'm not sure I can believe anything you say."

Ryan's heart lurched. "With all due respect Ma'am, everything that's in that file took place when I lived in Chino. I've been in Newport since July and this is the first time I've been arrested."

"You mean this is the first time you've been caught?"

"No…look, I'm sixteen and I'm no where near perfect but I'm trying. I'm not the same kid I was in those files."

Tapping her pen against his file, the judge shook her head. "At this time, I think it's best for you to stay in the custody of Chino's Juvenile Correction Center."

"Please…" Ryan interrupted, starting to panic.

"I see a destructive pattern here and with what you've done to this boy I can't…"

"Your Honor, may I speak please?"

"BLAINE! What are you doing? Sit down! She's going to send that hood to jail! Let her finish!" his Mother blurted out.

"That's just it, this is a mistake. Please, may I say something?"

"Son, I am about to rule in your favor there is really no need for…"

"I know but I can't let you do this. Don't lock him up. It's not his fault."

Perplexed the judge settled back into her chair, "I must warn you, any statement you make can have an effect on the outcome of your case. Proceed at your own peril, Mr. Templeton."

Blaine stepped forward and stood next to Ryan in front of the judge. Ryan felt lost. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Blaine had up his sleeve.

"Ryan and I have had some scuffles since he came to Newport but what the court doesn't know…is that I provoked every single one of them."

"BLAINE! SHUT UP!" his Mother yelled furiously from her seat.

"One more outburst like that Mrs. Templeton and I'll have you removed from my courtroom and held in contempt!" the judge warned. "Continue please."

"Anything…I'd knock his books out of his hand at school, I'd get in his face. The night of the fight, I basically called him an orphan and that he'd be homeless in another week because I knew about the brewing custody battle with his foster parents and his real Mom. I knew it would get to him so I just kept pressing on that nerve and he eventually went off." Blaine paused a moment and looked at Ryan. "He's never raised a hand to me or gotten in my face unless I did something to him first. He hasn't done anything wrong since he came here. He's never bothered anyone. This case is portraying him as violent and yet the only reason he got that way, is because I made him that way."

"Why are you doing this?" Ryan asked turning to Blaine more confused that ever. "You hate me."

"I don't want this on my conscience. I wanted to bug you, get you in trouble and stuff. I never meant for this to go so far you'd go to jail."

"Too late."

"Is his statement true Mr. Atwood?" the judge inquired, glaring at Ryan over her glasses.

"Yes Ma'am."

Sighing heavily, "You've put me in quite a predicament here Mr. Templeton." The judge stared at the boys before her, contemplating the appropriate actions. "Here's what we're going to do. Mr. Atwood, you will finish out this week at the Chino Juvenile Correction Center where you started serving time, that's three more days there. At the end of this week, I will give you a twenty-four hour pass at home with your foster family. Don't even think about disappearing during your time at home, or I will make sure that decision will come back to haunt you. When your pass is over, you will report to The Ranch where you will serve two full weeks. The Ranch is where you're going to prove to me that you are the changed person that everyone claims you have become. Make no mistakes though, Mr. Atwood. Should you have any problems at The Ranch, or try to escape to avoid serving your time there, you will be brought back here to the Chino Juvenile Center where you will serve a minimum of nine months with no time off for good behavior. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Ma'am," Ryan replied, unsure of exactly what he just agreed to. Looking over his shoulder at Sandy, Ryan caught him nodding happily and mouthing 'good-good' to Ryan. Apparently Sandy thought this was great news.

"As for you, Mr. Templeton," the judge began. "Your actions were cruel and deplorable and, in my opinion, require reprimanding. The court is going to assign you one hundred hours of community service to be completed during the same length of time Mr. Atwood is at The Ranch. Basically this means all of your free time belongs to me for the next two weeks. You will be given a schedule of tasks within the community, which you will follow to the letter and without exception. Failure to complete your sentence will land you two weeks in the Chino Juvenile Correction Center, which I'm sure Mr. Atwood will tell you is no joke. Hopefully you will learn a lesson about toying with someone else's life and you'll think twice before acting this way again. And, by the bruising on your face, I would have to hope that you got the message that Mr. Atwood can indeed pack a wallop and this will be the last confrontation between you two."

"Yes Ma'am."

"Good. This case will reconvene in exactly two weeks and four days to consider the progress made by both parties. Mr. Cohen, I will postpone the hearing for Ryan's custody case until exactly one week after he returns from The Ranch. Please make a note of it. I expect you boys to make me proud. Do not disappoint me. Court is adjourned."

Ryan stood still, respectfully, as the judge left the chamber. The minute she passed through the door, Blaine's Mother went into the rant of a lifetime. Blaine couldn't get a word in edgewise. Ryan still wasn't sure why he came forward in the first place, but his testimony seemed to be the only thing that saved him from Juvie.

Walking back to the table, Ryan noticed a big grin on Sandy's face.

"Oh kid, you were great! You answered everything with honesty and sincerity. True, Blaine's statement is what turned the judge, but the important thing is, she lightened your sentence."

"Yeah but what the hell is The Ranch? I've never even heard of it. I mean how do you know I'll be okay there?"

"You're gonna love it there. It's nothing like Juvie. It's a place where kids like you, kids who want to change their lives, put in their time. Now, the hard part is the fact that we aren't allowed to visit you there. You're gonna have to go through two weeks without us. That's going to drive us nuts, but you're allowed to write to us and we can write to you. I know the unknown is probably scaring you right now, but you're gonna have to trust me on this one. We did really good kid. I couldn't have begged for a better sentence myself. All you have to do is hang tough for three more days and then you get some time with us at home. The two weeks at The Ranch will go fast. You'll see. This is great news kid. Be happy!"

Sandy patted Ryan's shoulder at that last statement and for the first time, Ryan let himself relax. Looking into the seats of the courtroom, Ryan got an excited double thumbs up from Kirsten and Seth kept saying 'two and a half weeks man! I told you so!' The scene made Ryan smile. Maybe there was hope for him yet.

"Hey Ryan."

Ryan turned to the voice and found Blaine standing behind him.

"This is weird, I know, but…look, I had no idea about…I can't imagine how hard your life was."

"Yeah well, now you know. You didn't exactly get off scot-free. One hundred hours of community service is no cake-walk," Ryan explained, looking over Blaine's shoulder at his still screaming Mom. "You may want to ask the judge for two hundred hours just so you can avoid being home after what you pulled off in here today."

Laughing uncomfortably, "She'll get over it. Good luck at The Ranch, and…I'm sorry," Blaine stated honestly, extending a handshake to Ryan. "The judge was right…you can fight man and I don't think I want to be on the receiving end of your fists anymore."

Smiling, "Now that I'll shake to. I tried to warn you. It's unfortunate I had to pummel you so many times before you could admit that."

"I hate to bust up this beautiful moment guys, but Ryan has to get back," Sandy interrupted.

The boys gave each other an awkward nod before parting and Kirsten and Seth quickly ran up to the railing to give Ryan a quick hug before he left.

"Dude, three more days and you get to come home!" Seth gushed.

"Don't get so excited Seth, it's only for twenty-four hours."

"We'll be counting the hours honey," Kirsten promised, releasing Ryan. "I'm so proud of you Ryan. You handled yourself like a gentlemen in front of the judge. This is where your life takes another upswing Ryan. Things are only going to get better from here on out. You wait and see. Any special requests for your day off?"

"Um, yeah, something Italian…and chocolate cake," he smirked.

"You got it! We'll see you real soon."

The guard collected Ryan and walked him to the doorway where he secured his handcuffs. The Cohens could visibly see the relief on Ryan's face. He had hope again and that in itself was a huge leap in the right direction. Walking a little taller than he did when he arrived at court, Ryan went back to Juvie. Three days, just three more days there. He could do this.

It was after two-thirty when Ryan finally reached his cell. The guard from the court put him on lock down and he sat on his bunk, preoccupied with the day's events. For once the tide rolled his way. No matter what, he was going to make it his goal to stay away from trouble for the next two and a half weeks. He wanted to get his new life back and right now freedom was so close he could almost reach out and grab it.

"Atwood…"

Ryan looked up at his least favorite guard. Rising off his bunk he crossed his cell to the gate. "Yes Sir," he answered quietly.

"They sent you to The Ranch didn't they?" the guard asked without looking up.

"Yeah but…how do you know that?"

The guard slowly raised his head and smirked at Ryan.

"You said something to the judge didn't you?"

"Hey boy, Judge Whitney does whatever she wants. She's one of the toughest around. I made a suggestion about the course of discipline that might best suit you but something must have happened in court today for her to go along with it."

Ryan's mind wandered to Blaine's confession. Two people on the face of the earth that he would have never expected help from brought him 'that' much closer to freedom. He stared at the wall at that realization.

"You hungry kid?" The guard reached into his bag and removed a packaged ham sandwich and a carton of milk from the mess hall. Ryan instinctively backed away from the gate.

"No that's okay. I know there's no food allowed in the cells. I don't want to screw up any more than I have. It's okay. I'll wait until dinner. No disrespect meant."

Looking up and down the hallway, the guard held his offerings through the bars to Ryan. "You make me proud at The Ranch, prove to me I made the right decision about you, and we'll call it even."

Ryan stepped forward skeptically and took the items from the guard, watching him closely the entire time.

"I'm off duty in about fifteen minutes so make that disappear quickly. I'll be back in a few minutes to get the trash."

Nodding as the guard walked away, Ryan feverishly tore into the sandwich. He wasn't necessarily starving. He was more worried about getting caught with food in his cell, which was a major infraction.

It didn't take long and guard returned and collected his trash like he said he would.

"See you tomorrow kid."

"Hey Anderson," Ryan called and then hesitated. "Thanks."

"Do it right this time on the outside because you know I'll still be here if you have to come back."

"I'm not coming back."

Tipping his hat to Ryan, "I hope you're right kid."

That night Ryan slept hard. He hit his bunk on time and fell out shortly after. When the lights came alive and the buzzer sounded the next morning Ryan was ready to face the day. The clock was ticking and he was counting every second. Time couldn't pass fast enough. He knew the Cohens would make a big production of his one day at home and this time he planned on welcoming every bit of it.

(TBC)…

A/N: Good Lord! I think y'all set a new record with the reviews on the previous chapter! LOL! I have never received that many in a single day for any chapter or story! If you notice a glow…it's because I'm beaming! LOL! THANK YOU: D

This chapter made me nervous because courtroom scenes are just not my thing! Hopefully I kept it vague enough and faked it well enough that it all makes sense in the end! LOL: D


	15. 24 Hour Pass

Bad Behavior Chapter 15

24 Hour Pass

Ryan hadn't slept all night, which only made the time drag even slower. Nervous energy had him pacing his cell again, willing the clock forward. When the lights finally came on and he listened the to the morning announcements for the last time, a smile crept across his face. Today was the day he got his twenty-four hour pass. All he had to do was get through breakfast and he would be released at ten a.m.

When the gates snapped open he made a point of getting to the mess hall right away so he could eat and return to his cell as quickly as possible. After all, he was still an Atwood and he hadn't been released yet. He knew that meant there was still time for something to go wrong and he wasn't going to let anything get in his way…not today.

Unfortunately, it seemed many of the inmates had the same idea, or at least everyone was hungry on this particular morning and the mess hall was crowded. Ryan stood in line quietly and got his food. Having no choice but to sit with other inmates, he parked himself at the end of a table next to the serving line.

"Hey you're Atwood right?"

"Great, here it comes," Ryan thought to himself. "Yeah," he acknowledged, eyeballing the inmate across from him.

"I hear you're getting out today."

"Sort of. They're sending me to The Ranch."

"Seriously? That's great man. I've heard guys talk about it there. Supposed to be nice. Nothing like here anyhow."

Ryan was only half listening. He was preoccupied with a disagreement that had erupted in the food line merely a few feet away from his seat. It didn't take long for the shouting to turn into shoving and for the shoving to turn into a full fledged brawl that landed on the table where Ryan and the other inmates were sitting, minding their own business.

"Break it up! Break it up!" The guards shouted. "You boys at the table, up against that wall! Now! Arms up! Move it!"

All of the inmates from the table moved to the wall as they were told and assumed the requested 'spread 'em' position.

"Son of bitch," Ryan mumbled under his breath.

"Stay cool man. We didn't do anything wrong. Keep it together, you're leaving today."

"Then why do I have such a bad feeling about this?"

"It'll be fine man. Be cool."

It took several minutes to get the brawl under control since the boys involved had no intention of leaving quietly. The entire mess hall had come to a complete stand still, marveling at the main attraction in front of them.

When Guard Anderson entered, he immediately caught a glimpse of Ryan and the other inmates lined up against the wall. "Campbell, what's with these guys against the wall?"

"They're fine. We had a couple of punks go at it and they landed on their table while they were eating. We were just trying to keep anyone from retaliating. Unfortunately, their trays are all trashed so I need them to clean up this table and get some new chow."

"Alright boys, you know what to do. Let's get to it," Anderson instructed.

Still starving, the other inmates retreated to clean up the mess at their table. Ryan slowly lowered his arms, rested his forehead against the wall and closed his eyes. That was too close for comfort.

"Come on Atwood, it's over with."

Ryan turned to face Anderson. "I think I'd like to skip breakfast if it's okay with you."

"Freaked you out a little huh?"

Ryan nodded. "Two hours left man. I don't need this. Not today."

"I know you're not gonna screw this up Atwood. Go get yourself something to eat. I'll make sure you get out of here today okay?"

Ryan turned just his eyes to the guard, not sharing his confidence.

"Come on kid, you know I gotta make you eat my food one more time, especially since you already told me you're not coming back here."

The wisecrack got a smirk out of Ryan. Nodding again Ryan walked past Anderson towards the start of the food line.

Meanwhile at the Cohen house, preparations were already well underway for Ryan's arrival. Kirsten had spent the previous evening packing his suitcase for The Ranch so it would already be done. The early morning sun found her and her cup of coffee sitting in the kitchen preparing a list for the dinner order.

"Okay so that's…garden salad, antipasta salad, ravioli, baked ziti, chicken parmesan, chicken marsala, sausage and peppers, vesuvio potatoes…oh we need garlic bread."

"Honey, Ryan is going to be home for one dinner," Sandy laughed, looking over his wife's shoulder at the food order.

"That's all the stuff he loves. We need another pasta, that's not enough pasta."

"Honey, Honey, listen to me, please," Sandy chuckled again, taking the pen and tablet away from his wife. "Even Seth can't eat that much food. It's plenty."

"He's been in Juvie for two weeks Sandy. I just want him to feel like he's home."

"Trust me, he's going to be just fine. The only problem he's facing right now is getting rid of the garlic on his breath before he meets the other guys tomorrow," Sandy continued to joke.

Groaning, "I don't even want to think about tomorrow. I wish I could just freeze time when he walks through that door."

"The Ranch will be good for him. It won't feel like he's doing time there."

"What time does he have to check in?"

"He's got to be there by three o'clock. It's a good hour and a half away so we'll have to leave right after lunch."

"Really? That means he'll be here for lunch tomorrow…Oh Pad Thai! He loves that. We'll get some of that and some of those dumplings. Oh Seth's gonna want that soup…Sandy give me the pen."

Grabbing the pen, Sandy hurried towards the living room.

"Sandy get back here! I have a whole drawer full of pens in here! Alright, that's it! I've got the marker and I'm not afraid to use it!"

Slowly walking back into the kitchen, defeated, "What has happened to my wife?"

Yanking her pen away from Sandy, "Ryan's coming home today and we're going to celebrate! Now…go get him!" Kirsten demanded, happily planting a kiss on Sandy's lips.

"Ew. Don't do that when Ryan gets here okay. He doesn't want to spend his only day at home watching you two suck face," Seth interrupted.

"Right," Sandy mumbled separating himself from his wife. "I'm off to get Ryan, we'll be back here around noon."

"Sandy, get him whatever he wants for lunch…pizza, cheeseburgers, Pad Thai…" Kirsten yelled after him.

"I can't believe it's today. I'm going to go organize a few things before he gets here. I got some new comics while he was gone and the new video games…"

"I almost feel bad for Ryan," Kirsten mentioned. "We've all missed him so much, poor guy isn't going to get a moments rest while he's here."

"Yeah but…he's coming home," Seth smiled, drumming his hands on the countertop.

"Yeah," Kirsten smiled back and wrinkled her nose. "So much to do. I've got to go pick up the cake."

"Chocolate?"

"You know it! I'll be right back."

"I'm gonna get my stuff together. See ya."

Sandy paced the lobby, checking the doorway to the Guard Center every thirty seconds. Now he understood Kirsten's excitement. There was electricity in the air. He was anxious to see Ryan's face. He wanted to know if he was feeling it too.

"Juvenile on release, Atwood!" someone in the Guard Center called out.

Sandy's heart raced. This was it. Once the guard let Ryan through those doors hopefully he'd be out of this place for good.

"Sign here, Atwood." There was a pause. "Good luck son."

"Thank you sir."

Hearing Ryan's voice made Sandy smile. Positioning himself right in front of the door, he waited for the knob to turn. It took every ounce of control to not run up and yank the door open. Finally, with the click of a latch, Ryan stepped through the door.

"There he is!" Sandy beamed, immediately hugging Ryan. "How are you doing?"

"I had no idea it could feel this good to leave this place," Ryan smiled. Looking around, "Where's…"

"Oh kid, I'm worried about those two. Since your hearing, those guys have been planning and preparing everything they can think of for your day off. This morning, I actually had to take a pen away from Kirsten in order to stop her from making another list. I swear she's confusing The Ranch with a camp that assists overweight kids because she's easily hoping to pack fifteen to forty more pounds on you by morning! She's ordered half of Newport and it's all going to arrive at various times during your pass."

Laughing, "Maybe we should pick up some heartburn tablets on the way home."

"You're probably right. Today is a special day and we're all going to eat ourselves senseless!"

Ryan smiled from ear to ear. The Cohens hadn't missed a beat. This is what it was like to get out of Juvie and go home to a family that cared about you, that missed you. Ryan couldn't wait to get back home. Truth be told, they could have served him frozen pizza and flat soda and it still would have been special because he knew they cared.

Just as the clock in Juvie took it's sweet time, the ride home seemed to last forever, even though Sandy was speeding most of the way. Once they were home and Sandy shut the car off, they exchanged a look.

"You ready for this?"

"Absolutely," Ryan smiled.

"Well then let's go!"

Opening the front door, Sandy walked through first. "Calling all Cohens! We've got company for lunch!"

"RYAN! Ryan, are you home? Oh my God, you're really here!" Kirsten exclaimed running across the living room and embracing Ryan. "Oh sweetie I missed you so much!"

"Ryan, buddy you're home!" Seth jumped in for a group hug.

"Okay, okay, Team Cohen, let's not squish him too much! He's only been here for thirty seconds!"

"Oh Sandy, I'd squish him for the next twenty three hours if he'd let me!"

Slowly pulling apart, Kirsten could see Ryan's cheeks flush with embarrassment but he was still smiling his heart out. He was loving every second of this.

"Well come on, let's get this party started!" Sandy encouraged.

Walking into the kitchen, the mouths of all three men fell open. Laid out across the breakfast island was a picnic fit for a king. Multiple trays of lunchmeats and cheeses and breads as well as various salads and jellos and chips and fruits covered every inch of the counter.

"We should have gotten those heartburn tabs Sandy," Ryan mocked.

"Ha! It's all on you kid! Enjoy!"

"Ry, don't be shy man. Get up there and make a dish so the rest of us drooling souls can eat," Seth pleaded.

"No, no let's all do this at the same time…as a family."

"I like that idea," Seth agreed.

"I'm in," Sandy added.

"Oh that's perfect because I've been wanting that smoked turkey all morning!" Kirsten agreed.

Passing out plates, everyone dug in at the same time. Ryan absorbed every second of it all. He couldn't have asked for anything more.

Later that afternoon, Ryan went back to his room for the first time. Sitting down on his bed he grabbed his pillow, held it to his face and inhaled. Fresh. He tried to hide his smile when Kirsten walked in.

"Hey, doing okay in here?"

"Yeah. I was just…I like the way these smell," he admitted sheepishly.

"Me too." Taking a seat next to Ryan, "I bet it feels good to be home doesn't it?"

"Yeah it does. I wish I didn't have to leave."

"Oh The Ranch will be easy I think, at least, compared to what you've been through. You'll be back before you know it."

"No, I meant the big picture. My Mom, the court papers…"

"Ahhh. Well, we're not going to worry about that today. Today is about us, about our family. We're not going to think on that today. There'll be plenty of time to deal all of that when you come back. Besides, you're talking like it's all said and done. Nothing's been decided yet. And your life is on an upswing remember? You might get pleasantly surprised."

"I hope you're right. I like it here."

"I'm glad to hear that. Well I'm supposed to bring you back inside for something that Seth and Sandy have planned. I have no idea what it is so we'll find out together."

Walking out of the pool house, they only made it a few steps before…SPLAT! Kirsten gasped and Ryan instinctively put his arms up to shelter his face.

"What the…" Ryan complained. Looking down at his soaked t-shirt, he heard Seth laughing from across the patio. He turned his head just in time to duck another SPLAT! Kirsten however was not so lucky and got tagged in the side of the head.

"Sandy! What are you doing?" she yelled

"They've got water balloons!" Ryan announced.

"You're basket's all over there Honey! Help yourself!" Sandy explained, as he and Seth whipped a double whammy at Ryan and Kirsten who were now cowering behind the BBQ pit.

"They are so dead! Come on! Over here!"

Ryan and Kirsten ran to the opposite side of the pool where Sandy and Seth had left a laundry basket full of water balloons. Hiding behind some lawn chairs and a giant planter, Ryan launched their plan of attack.

"Alright, we're gonna take this basket back over to the steps so we can get closer to them. Keep your back to them and just let them throw everything they've got."

"Are you nuts! We're gonna get drenched!" Kirsten objected.

"Yeah, but then they'll be out of balloons…" Ryan schemed, smiling slyly.

"I love having a bad boy on my team! Let's get 'em!"

Each taking a side of the basket, they made their way to the steps as Seth and Sandy pelted them without remorse. Ryan showed Kirsten how to hold multiple balloons at one time by the knots. In a double-pronged assault, they raced across the patio to get revenge. While Kirsten took aim on clothing, Ryan was aiming for faces…both were making contact. A lucky throw and a fit of laughter rendered Kirsten and the boys useless when one of her balloons hit low, causing it to look like Sandy wet his pants.

"Dad that's just wrong on so many levels!" Seth laughed.

"Seth…we have a serious problem! We're out of balloons!"

"NOW!" Ryan yelled.

Throwing two balloons at a time each, Ryan and Kirsten bombarded Seth and Sandy. When all was said and done, Sandy proclaimed them the official winners of the game.

"Don't move guys! Let me get my camera!" Kirsten requested, flipping wet hair out of her face. Returning quickly, the guys all lined up sporting dripping hair and soaked clothes with pieces of popped balloons hanging off of them. The smiles on their faces were priceless.

"Perfect!"

"You know I think I was five the last time I did that," Ryan reminisced.

"I admit Ry, it was a rather Kindergartenish idea but still fun," Seth explained. "I thought it was a good way for you to work out some of your frustrations without actually hurting anyone."

"Nah that was good," he smiled. "I definitely wasn't expecting that, that's for sure!"

"Okay, guys, you're on your own. I need to get changed and get the dinner order going. I'll be inside if you need anything."

Each taking a seat at the patio table to dry off a bit, Ryan and Seth sat in silence. Since being quiet isn't Seth's strongest trait, it didn't last long.

"I'm really glad the judge gave you this pass."

"Yeah me too. It's already suppertime though. Morning's gonna be here before we know it."

"Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

"Only because I don't know what to expect you know. You guys softened me. The old me wouldn't have cared."

"My Dad says it's a pretty cool place."

"Yeah he told me that too. I guess I'll find out soon enough."

Dinner came and went and the rest of the evening was spent on board games and video games and the giant chocolate cake Kirsten brought home. It was after midnight by the time Ryan was ready to call it a night. Sandy could see he was just exhausted but that he didn't want the day to end.

Laying down on his bed, he pulled the covers over his legs and watched the the reflections from the swimming pool shimmer on his ceiling. Unlike Juvie, his room was dead quiet. His eyelids were getting heavy when Sandy and Kirsten entered his room.

"Hey kid, you need anything?" Sandy inquired.

Ryan just shook his head as Kirsten bent down and pulled his covers up to his chest. Ryan gave her a weak smile.

Sitting down on his bed, Kirsten noticed him turn his full attention to her. "I want you to promise me that you'll have breakfast with me tomorrow."

Ryan's eyes flipped to Sandy momentarily before returning to Kirsten's. He knew where this was going.

"I'll be here," he said quietly. "I don't want to run anymore. Now that I'm faced with having to go back to Chino…all that time I wasted, running away and hiding, acting out. I could have been here. I never wanted to accept it because I thought for sure it wouldn't last but, I really like it here and I don't want to waste anymore time."

"And we really like that you're here," Sandy added.

"Okay, then we'll see you at breakfast." Leaning forward Kirsten kissed Ryan's forehead before stepping aside for Sandy to say goodnight.

"Sweet dreams son. Get some rest." Sandy patted Ryan's shoulder and gave a wink.

Ryan turned his head so he could watch them go back to the house. Crossing the patio they put their arms around each other. It was nice to see them act so loving toward each other. His parents were never like that. Ever.

Tomorrow Sandy would drive him to The Ranch. Settling back against his pillow he concentrated on the shimmering ceiling again. Sandy was right. The unknown had him unnerved. He wished he knew what was coming. He tried to remind himself how happy Sandy was when that sentence came down and how he said it was good news. Problem was history spoke for itself and Ryan had never really gone anywhere where people didn't treat him badly. The only safe haven was the Cohen's home. Since he hadn't slept the night before he lost the battle to keep his eyes open and he drifted off to sleep.

(TBC)


	16. Welcome To The Ranch

Bad Behavior Chapter 16

Welcome To The Ranch

Squinting against the morning sun, Sandy and Kirsten had to peel themselves out of bed. The boys might be cut out for that late night stuff but they were feeling their age when they looked at the clock and saw that it was nine a.m. and time to get moving. Only four short hours and Ryan would be leaving again.

Dressed in their pajamas and robes they shuffled down to the kitchen in search of coffee, the first step to waking up.

"Does it seem awfully quiet in here to you?" Sandy asked.

"I'm sure the boys slept in. Ryan said he didn't sleep the night before. Why?"

"Well, it's his last four hours at home. I guess I'm just shocked they aren't up playing video games or at least eating cereal or something."

The comment stopped Kirsten in the kitchen doorway and gawked at Sandy while her half-asleep brain attempted to process the information he just gave her. Two more steps into the kitchen she stopped dead in her tracks a second time.

"That is NOT a note on my counter. Please tell me that is not a note."

"Oh boy," Sandy admitted, frowning at the piece of notebook paper.

Rushing to the window, Kirsten saw the doors to the pool house wide open. "He did NOT do this! I don't believe this. I do not…he looked me right in the eyes last night and lied to me! Don't show me that. I don't even want to read that. I don't want to hear about how sorry he is but he just had to do this. I can't believe this!" she fumed.

"Honey, just calm down a minute," Sandy soothed, picking up the note and reading it.

"How could he do this? After what he said to us last night…he promised us Sandy! He promised! Not only did he promise us, he promised in court that he wouldn't take off during his pass. UGH! I feel ill!"

"You really need to read this Honey."

"I…do…not…want to read it."

"Then I'll read it to you, this is important. Listen…" Sandy read out loud:

_Sandy and Kirsten, _

Please don't panic! Seth and I ran down 

_to the pier to look at comics and get some _

_Balboa Bars. I promise I'm coming back! _

_Can we order Pad Thai for lunch? _

_Thanks,_

_Ryan_

Kirsten stared blankly at Sandy still trying to make sense out of her morning.

"You were right Honey. It's worse than we thought. They're off reading comics and eating Balboa Bars and it's barely nine o'clock on a Saturday morning! Really, we've failed as parents."

"Give me that! It doesn't say that…does it?" Snatching the note from Sandy's hand, she read it for herself. "Oh my God," she groaned with guilt.

Sandy couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Talk about jumping the gun, Kirsten had Ryan all but packed up and gone. "Poor Ryan, the kid is probably down on the pier having fun with Seth and yet his ears are flaming because his foster Mom is at home having a rage blackout over nothing."

Still moaning, Kirsten crossed her arms on the counter and laid her head down. "That…just scared the crap out of me. I thought for sure he took off."

"I really think Ryan has changed. That sounds cliché, I know. I never told you this but before his hearing, he admitted to me he was scared. I really think he gets it now. Something about this last trip to Juvie, it's like it put him over the edge with taking control of his life. I really believe this is what he wants."

"Good morning! Let's go rise and shine!" Seth broadcast from the foyer.

"In here Seth," Sandy answered.

"We brought some bagels. Ryan had a taste for 'em."

"What's wrong?" Ryan took one look at Kirsten and figured there was bad news on the horizon.

Embarrassed, she raised her head and admitted the truth.

"I…jumped to some conclusions this morning. I walked in here and saw the note on the counter…I thought you left and I panicked."

"You really think I'd leave?" Ryan asked rather surprised. "We left early, I just didn't want to wake anyone up."

"I hadn't had my coffee yet, I saw the pool house doors open and it was so quiet in here, no video games, nothing. I noticed the note and…I panicked that you'd left us. It's all me Ryan. You didn't do a thing wrong."

"I told you last night that I was done running. I meant it."

"I'm sorry. I'll work on toning down my 'mom-ness'."

"No don't do that. I never had that. It's nice to know people care and that they'd actual notice and miss me if I were gone."

Sharing a knowing smile, Kirsten thought it was a good time to get off the subject.

"So, since you and Seth had Balboa Bars for breakfast, what kind of bagels did you guys bring home?"

"Bagels? Oh we got all kinds," Seth jumped in, emptying the bag of bagels into their usual basket.

Kirsten watched Ryan, who had suddenly gone quiet, and she regretted telling him the truth. Suddenly bagels just didn't matter any more.

As expected, Thai Palace delivered a lunch that rivaled some of the largest buffets in town. Kirsten had to be creative in the refrigerator in order to fit all the leftovers in it. With less than an hour to go before Ryan left, she was still feeling guilty about the morning's events. Wiping her hands on a dishtowel, she set off for the pool house to make sure the air was clear before he left.

Stepping into the pool house, she found Ryan sitting Indian-style on the floor in front of his open suitcase.

"Hey Ryan. Gonna take your comics with you?"

"Maybe. I don't know if they'll confiscate them. Sometimes stuff like that is considered contraband."

"Really? Huh. Here I would think they would encourage you guys to do some reading."

"Everything in my suitcase is new," Ryan observed. "You didn't have to do that."

"I know, but I wanted to. Besides telling a woman not to shop is like trying to stop the earth from spinning…that's just not going to happen," she chuckled.

Ryan didn't laugh. He just kept staring at the suitcase.

"What's wrong Ryan? Are you nervous?"

"You don't trust me."

Kirsten's heart broke. She knew what she had said that morning hurt his feelings but she had no idea it had cut his this deep.

"This morning wasn't about trust Ryan…it was about losing you."

Fidgeting with the laces on his boots, his eyes searched the open suitcase. "So, then you were lying last night when you told me not to worry about the custody case?"

Nodding, "Yeah. It's pretty much all I can think about. I've dreaded that hearing more than anything else. It will break my heart if I have to let you go."

Turning to Kirsten he saw the tears in her eyes even though she faked a smile.

"Will you do something for me?"

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "Sure."

"Help me fight to stay here. Talk to Sandy after I'm gone. Tell him I want to talk to the judge myself and tell her I want to stay here. You know me. I've always had to fight for myself and if I don't do this and she sends me back to Chino, I'll regret it."

"Okay. I'll talk to Sandy."

"Time to hit the road," Sandy announced, clapping his hands together in the doorway. "You ready kid?"

"Yeah," Ryan answered, standing up.

Before he could even steady himself on his feet, Kirsten pulled him into a hard hug. "You take care of yourself, we're going to miss you. We can do this right? It's only two weeks."

"Why does it sound like you're trying to convince yourself more than me?" Ryan mocked.

"Oh hush!" Kirsten laughed.

"Thanks for caring. That means a lot to me."

"You be careful over there. Be good."

After zipping his suitcase shut, Ryan wheeled it over to Sandy. "I'm ready."

On the driveway, Sandy loaded the suitcase into his trunk while Seth and Ryan said their goodbyes.

"Make sure you drop me a letter okay? I want to hear all about this place."

"Yeah, sure."

"This will be a piece of cake man compared to the time you've already served. By the time you get there it'll be almost three o'clock and that means it's almost dinnertime and once you eat dinner it's almost time for bed and then today is already over. One day down already. You'll be back here before you know it."

Ryan smirked at Seth's twisted logic. He had an answer for everything. "Stay away from Blaine while I'm gone alright?"

"No argument here. Take care man. The Playstation and I will be waiting for you."

Finally, the time had come when they could stall no longer. The Ranch was waiting.

Doing his best to hide his emotions, Ryan got in the car and kept his head down. He had an hour and a half to contemplate what was waiting for him, how much his foster family would miss him and what a nightmare his custody case was going to be when he returned. Watching the pavement speed by outside his window, he tried to remind himself 'one day at a time'.

Surprisingly the car ride went by quickly considering there was very little conversation. Sandy had tried to keep Ryan sidetracked but he just wasn't in the mood for it. He was more interested in just staring at the countryside. Ryan had never seen so much open space before. Chino was crowded and every inch of Newport was developed. It was interesting to just see grass.

Ryan felt himself tense up when they passed the sign to The Ranch. It wouldn't be long now. Turning on a private driveway, they stopped at the security station.

"Nature of your business today Sir?"

"Dropping off."

"Name?"

"Atwood, Ryan."

"Okay. Continue up to the main house, I'll let them know you're coming."

"Thank you."

The driveway seemed endless as it curved through trees and bushes. After about a mile's drive, they came to a clearing with a huge farmhouse.

"I guess this is it," Sandy said in passing, as he parked the car.

Swallowing nervously, Ryan stepped out of the car and looked around. "But, this is a house. This can't be it."

"Ryan Atwood?"

The voice came from a women coming down the front steps of the farmhouse with a clipboard in her hand. Sandy and Ryan exchanged a brief look before turning back to the woman.

"Hello, I'm Gina. I'll be Ryan's sponsor. Welcome to The Ranch," she greeted, smiling.

"This is it?" Ryan asked, confident this wasn't the big picture.

"This is just the beginning. Come on, let's get you settled and I'll give you a quick tour. Dad, you can stay long enough to help Ryan get settled if you'd like, but after that I'm afraid we'll have to say goodbye."

Shooting another quick look at Sandy, Ryan waited to hear his response to the 'Dad' comment.

"Sure, I'd like that," he played along, making Ryan smirk at their little secret.

They followed Gina into the farmhouse, which was rather nicely decorated inside. Passing through the foyer, Ryan noticed a hallway with many coats hanging on the wall. Each hanger had a name above it and he noticed 'Atwood' on the very first one.

Pausing at the doorway to what Ryan assumed was the family room, he noticed several other boys sprawled out on the furniture watching a college football game. When a commercial came on, a few of the boys glanced at Ryan and started whispering amongst themselves. Suddenly feeling twice as nervous, Ryan moved on to catch up with Gina who had already started up the staircase.

The second floor, also very homey in décor, was loaded with hallways and doors. Walking across the upstairs foyer, Gina opened a door on the right side of the hallway, exposing a rather large bedroom with three sets of bunk beds in it.

"And here we are. Ryan, this is your room, also called your dorm. You're in dorm 3. There are six total dorms here, with six boys per dorm, that's thirty-six boys working on The Ranch at any given time. You have five other roommates, which you'll meet soon. While I realize you guys are all a bit too grown up for bunk beds, due to space limitations here at The Ranch, we have to use them. This bottom bunk by the window is yours. Your bed is to be made every morning before you come down to breakfast. Your roommates did it for you today but starting tomorrow that chore is all yours."

Ryan walked over to his bunk and looked out the window. What sort of place was this? Glancing down at his pillow he noticed a piece of paper with drawings and signatures on it. Picking it up, he tipped it toward the window for a better look.

"That's a little 'Welcome' card from your roommates. They're a wacky bunch. I think you'll like them. So, Ryan, you get the bottom three drawers in this dresser, the closet over here is shared space. The guys are pretty good are working out it out. If you need more room, just ask your bunkmates to move their stuff down a little and they'll do it. Shoes go in the closet, however your work boots will stay down in the mud room."

"Work boots?"

"Kirsten got a pair for you Ryan. They're in your suitcase," Sandy explained.

"So that's about it for now. Any questions?"

"Is this really where I'm going to be staying for the next two weeks?"

"Of course. Let's see something here," Gina answered, flipping his file open. "Ah, yes, you're coming to us from the Juvie in Chino…rough place."

Ryan nodded, embarrassed.

"You don't have to be ashamed here Ryan. The boys you saw downstairs are in the same boat you are. The Ranch is the first step to a fresh start."

"The house is beautiful," Sandy observed. "Compared to Juvie, this is like heaven. I've often felt Juvie wasn't right for certain kids."

"That's very true. The Ranch is a very special place. Certain kids, like Ryan, who come from an abusive background really seem to thrive here. We do things a lot differently than they do at Juvie. I think Ryan will do just fine here," she smiled again. "And that leads me to some important details and some rules. Ryan once your Dad signs your release, you will be in the custody of The Ranch for the next two weeks. The rules here are actually very easy to follow. You're expected to complete your chores, which will consume about sixty to seventy percent of your day. You and your roommates work together in the house as far as keeping it clean, preparing meals and cleaning up after meals. Your laundry is your own responsibility. Of course, there's no fighting or back talk allowed. Attempting to flee The Ranch prior to your release date will land you right back in the Chino Juvie. We have meetings every afternoon to discuss anything and everything the boys want to discuss, including problems within the house or among roommates. Honestly, most of the boys living here right now, including the other dorms have been very good. They normally work out their own differences just by talking to each. What else? Your family is not allowed to visit once they leave The Ranch. The next time you will see them is when you are released. You can write to them every day if you want and you can receive mail from them, so that's a good way to keep in touch while you're here. Also, by completing your chores and simply doing what you are supposed to around here, you can earn phone privileges. It's not much, it's a five-minute phone call, but they are nice when you get one. That's about it. The rest you'll figure out as you go." Handing the clipboard to Sandy, "Dad if you can just sign right here for me please."

Doing as he was told, he handed the clipboard back to Gina.

"Oh, I see you're not an Atwood."

"Um, no I'm not but I'm Ryan's foster father. He's been part of my family since July. I brought a copy of his current custody papers for your records so there's no confusion," he explained, reaching into his coat and removing an envelope for Gina.

"Oh that's perfect! I'll keep that in his file. So…Ryan, I'm going to give you guys about twenty minutes to get your gear stowed away before it's time to say goodbye. Then it'll be time to meet your roommates downstairs. Any questions?"

"I'm okay," Ryan replied, a bit more shaky than he expected.

"Okay then, I'll leave you guys to it and I'll be back in a few." With another smile she left the room.

"Did you know this place was like this?" Ryan asked Sandy.

"I had no idea it would be this nice. I'd heard that it's nice but I never knew anyone that actually came here. What do you think about it?"

"I think I'm more nervous here than I was at Juvie. She's so nice and…my bed has a window. I get the feeling this place is one big grey area. Yeah it's nice and all but I feel like I'll be stepping over boundaries I won't even know are there."

"Ryan this is the sort of place that's more about introspect than discipline. I think the sole purpose of this place is to help you decide what you want from your life. Granted, I think we know pretty much what you want in the immediate future, but maybe you'll learn even more while you're here."

Pulling his new t-shirts out of the suitcase, Ryan straightened them in his dresser drawer. "Maybe. I guess I'll have to wait and see. Tomorrow will bring a lot of new stuff."

"It'll be interesting to meet the guys don't you think?"

Ryan shrugged, still emptying his suitcase. "I guess so."

Sandy studied him a moment. "Are you still scared Ryan?" he asked point blank.

Sitting back on his heels, Ryan stopped fussing with the clothes in the drawer and dropped his head momentarily. "Every time I think I'm doing better, something happens. I'm not afraid of this place, or the guys, or even the work. I'm just worried something will happen to jack me up again and…"

"And what?"

"And it'll affect my custody case," he answered quietly. "That's the big picture Sandy. I don't want to go back to Chino."

"So guys how are we doing in here?" Gina interrupted.

Caught off guard, Ryan turned around rattled, "Um, I guess I'm not getting off on the right foot. I didn't finish unpacking. We were talking."

"It's okay Ryan. I know getting settled is tough. You can come back up later and finish it. And…I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it's time to walk you out Mr. Cohen so Ryan can go meet his roommates."

"Sure, I understand," Sandy acknowledged crossing the room.

"Sandy," Ryan paused. "Don't take this the wrong way but…I'm going to stay up here and finish unpacking."

Sandy understood. Ryan didn't want to watch him drive away without him and he couldn't blame him. "C'mere kid." Sandy wrapped his arms around Ryan for a hearty hug. "It's going to be okay Ryan, all of it."

Ryan held onto Sandy and kept his head low so Sandy couldn't see the sadness in his eyes. Nodding he pulled away from Sandy, remembering that Gina was watching.

Putting his hands on both sides of Ryan's face, Sandy swiped his thumbs over his cheeks to wipe away the moisture. Tipping Ryan's head down he kissed the top of his hair. "You're gonna be just fine kid. I'll see you real soon okay?"

Blinking nervously, Ryan nodded.

"Who knows, when you get back maybe you can teach Seth how to do laundry…or teach Kirsten how to cook something without burning it!" he joked.

Ryan laughed and then nodded again. He knew Sandy was right and things would probably be okay. He just wished he were already on his way home.

"Okay. Gina, it was a pleasure to meet you. Please take good care of him for me, he means an awful lot to us."

"Oh absolutely! Thank you for coming up with him Mr. Cohen." Shaking Sandy's hand for the last time, she watched Sandy give a wave to Ryan before he left the room.

"It's pretty cool here Ryan, I promise you'll like it here."

Ryan nodded, still looking at the floor.

"So let's leave your suitcase for now, oh, grab your work boots though. We'll put those in the mud room for later and let's head down to meet your roommates."

Doing as he was told Ryan reached for his brand new work boots and followed Gina down the stairs. The trip to the mud room was postponed when they were stopped outside the family room doorway.

"Hey Gina, can we have him now?" one of the boys inquired.

Smiling at Ryan she walked into the room with Ryan in tow. "Guys, this is your new roommate. This is Ryan."

A chorus of 'Hey man's' filled the room. The boy that originally spoke up wanted to get more out of Ryan. "You watch college football at all?"

"Um, I used to but I've been away from it for a while so…"

"Well come on man, grab a seat."

Not sure what he would be allowed to do just yet, Ryan looked to Gina for direction.

"I'll tell you what Ryan, give me your boots. I'll put your name on these and get them in the mud room for you. Go ahead and sit with the guys for a bit. There's only another half hour before you guys have to start making dinner."

Nodding, Ryan handed over his boots and sat down tentatively.

"You'll get used to it around here man. I know it feels weird in the beginning but his place is actually pretty cool. Aw look at this! Interception!"

Maybe this place wouldn't be so bad after all. Ryan could only go with the flow and see what the rest of his stay would bring. It was definitely going to be interesting.

(TBC)…


	17. Fighting For The Future

Bad Behavior Chap 17

Fighting for the Future

There was a solemn mood in the Cohen house when Sandy returned home. Everyone knew it was the best outcome they could have hoped for. Ryan was facing a lengthy stay in Juvie until Blaine came to his senses in front of the Judge. Still, the house was quiet again and Ryan was gone, again. The next two weeks would be crucial to Ryan's future and since the Cohens couldn't visit him to see how he was doing, they were at the mercy of Father Time.

Sandy plopped himself down on the couch trying to regroup his thoughts. He kept seeing Ryan's face when he left him at The Ranch. That was one of the hardest things Sandy had ever done, walking away from him when he knew all Ryan wanted was to go home with him. Granted, it's not like he abandoned him. But he knew Ryan didn't trust people and being in a new environment, well, he only hoped Ryan would do what was expected of him.

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in." With some work files in her arms for distraction purposes, she seated herself next to Sandy. "You okay?"

"Yeah sure. I just feel for the kid. He's been through so much lately and, tough guy or not, I know it's getting to him."

"Did he say something to you?"

"He mentioned he doesn't want to go back to Chino." Sandy shook his head. "I never know what to say. I wish I could just tell him everything is fine and he can just stay here with us. But the truth is we don't know that for sure yet."

"Well since you brought it up," Kirsten initiated. "Ryan did ask me to talk to you after he left."

"About his custody case no doubt."

Nodding, "He said he wants you to put him in front of the judge so he can talk to her himself. He said if he doesn't do that and he ends up going back to Chino, he'll have regrets. What could it hurt Sandy? This is his life we're talking about. Wouldn't you want to have a say so if it were you?"

Nodding admittedly, "Yes I would. Okay, we'll let him talk to the Judge. I think I'm going to try to work on a few things myself before he comes home."

"Like what?"

Standing up from the couch, Sandy looked down on Kirsten. "I'm going to go back to Chino and talk to his Mom again."

"Do you really think that's a good idea? She was pretty adamant the last time we were there."

"It's like you said, this is his life we're talking about. I don't know that I can send him back there, if I have to, without knowing I gave it everything I've got."

Back at The Ranch, Ryan knew he was about to be put on display. As soon as Gina disappeared, Ryan's new roommates lost all interest in the football game. Ryan himself had become the new attraction. He expected that to happen, always does when you're the newest one on the cellblock…or in the farmhouse for that matter.

"So ah, I guess we should introduce ourselves. Name's Antonio," the talkative one shared. "On the couch over there you've got Jimmy, Tommy and Marco. That tattooed and pierced mess on the floor with the bad hair is Frankie," he laughed. "You're looking at Dorm 3…we're the Cruisers."

"So Ryan man, what's your specialty?" Marco intruded.

"What do you mean?"

"I did eighteen months in the L.A. Juvie for boosting cars and Jimmy over there put some serious time in at Riverside for joyriding. You do cars?"

Ryan looked from face to face across the room, unsure of just how much he wanted to admit in his first thirty seconds with his new roommates.

"I did two years at East Wills for boosting and working at a chop shop," Frankie added, chuckling. "There was also some hidden weapons and resisting arrest stuff in there. If you're gonna go on the inside, you may as well go big."

"And Tommy over there, he was the only one of us dumb enough to steal a patrol car and pitch it off the Santa Monica pier!" Marco added, laughing hysterically.

"Hey, it was a dare! You understand, don't you Ryan?"

Allowing his eyebrows to go up, "Sure," Ryan agreed, playing along.

"So, have you boosted a car?" Marco pressed.

Nodding finally, "Four actually. I got caught with the last one and did some time in Chino."

"You served time in Chino? Man that's a wicked place."

Ryan nodded again, wishing the conversation would end. "I guess that's why this place seems so strange to me."

"I know what you mean," Tommy added. "Sometimes people don't get why we think it's weird here…but when you come from a place where they yelled at you 24-7, you come here and see Gina's smiling face, you wonder when you entered The Twilight Zone."

"Exactly," Ryan acknowledged.

"Well listen our dorm is pretty tight so you don't have to worry," Antonio offered.

Ryan just looked at him skeptically. "I guess we'll see."

"Sure. But for now," Antonio stood up and extended his hand to Ryan. "Congratulations, you're a Cruiser."

Shaking his hand, Ryan forced a small smile. He didn't want to be a Cruiser, he just wanted to be left alone so he could put in his time and go the hell home. Feeling like he'd had enough bonding for the time being, Ryan used his unpacked suitcase as an excuse and made a quick exit back to his room.

It didn't take long at all before all his roommates appeared in the dorm. Ryan had to remind himself that they all shared a room and privacy for the next two weeks would be out of the question. Pulling his new jeans out, he shoved them in one of his drawers. As quickly as possible he relocated his socks and underwear to the bottom drawer. He wasn't in the mood for underwear jokes. Removing his toiletries bag from the suitcase revealed a large yellow envelope. Frowning at it, Ryan picked it up and opened it.

"Ryan, you get mail already?" Frankie inquired, noticing the envelope in his hands.

"No, this was in my suitcase. My foster Mom packed everything for me because I was in Juvie. She must have put this in there."

"Well open it man!" Frankie cheered on. "Let's see what she gave you."

Without any prompting, the rest of the Cruisers crowded around to get a look as well. The close quarters made Ryan feel extremely self-conscious considering he didn't know what was in the envelope.

"It's not that we want to ruin your privacy exactly, it's just, anything from home is usually a pick me up, you know?" Antonio explained.

Ryan hadn't thought of it that way. Gina mentioned that all the guys were in the same boat, but it didn't occur to Ryan that they missed home as much as he did. Considering a few of the guys had been at The Ranch for quite some time already, Ryan felt they were being genuine when they spoke about home.

Pulling the flap out of the envelope, he tipped the envelope so the contents slid out onto his bed. Seth had obviously given Kirsten the new comics to include. Ryan hadn't had a chance to read them before he left. There was a copy of a coupon from Chocolate Heaven, the store where Kirsten got his chocolate cake. A sticky note on the coupon read: 'How sweet it is to have cake when you come home!" The note made Ryan smile and the photo of the cake on the coupon made his roommates drool.

"Aw Chino look at that cake!" Tommy piped up. "Chocolate man!"

"They got me that cake when I got out of Juvie. By the looks of it, she's gonna get another one when I get home from here."

Under the coupon was a Ziploc bag with popped balloon pieces in it.

"What the hell is that for?" Jimmy asked, perplexed.

Ryan laughed to himself when he considered the source. "We had a water balloon fight the night before I left. Stupid, I know, but it was fun. My foster brother sent this. His note says, "Ry, I wanted to send a real water balloon but my Mom said it would flood your suitcase and ruin your new clothes. So much for that idea! My Dad and I want a rematch. Be prepared to have your ass handed to you when you get home. Miss you already man. See you soon. Seth"

Finally, the bottom envelope had photos in it. There was a photo of Sandy, Kirsten and Seth with the ocean in the background. A photo of Seth and Ryan that Ryan had no idea she had even taken. And lastly was a photo of Ryan sitting on his bed in the Pool House.

"Is that your family man?" Antonio asked carefully.

Ryan just nodded and kept looking at the photos. The last note was simple and to the point. It read: 'We love you Ryan!'

"That's a nice family Chino," Marco added. "Thirteen days and you'll be home eating that cake and we're all gonna be here hating your guts!"

"Yeah," Ryan replied, quickly putting the photos away. Grabbing the other items he shoved them all back in the large envelope.

"It's cool man, you don't have to be embarrassed," Marco spoke up. "I haven't heard from my family in about a month and Frankie hasn't heard from his since he came here."

Ryan raised his head slowly to Frankie who seemed to get the question telepathically.

"I've been here for six months," he acknowledged. "After the first three months I stopped thinking about it."

Feeling his blood pressure suddenly going up, "So that's how this place works. We end up here thinking we're making progress and we're gonna get out and everyone just forgets about us instead. It's a God damned orphanage! I should've have fucking known better! I let them make me think that…" Exasperated, Ryan turned away from the other boys and stared out the window.

"Ryan it's not like that, at all," Antonio stated, trying to run damage control. "The Ranch is a good place. It is. None of us want to admit it but, most of us in here…our families could care less about us. All of us except maybe Marco have dysfunctional families and I mean that with a capital 'D'."

Still fuming Ryan let his head fall and he stared at the envelope, his heavy breathing still voicing his anger for him.

"You've got a good family man. You think any of us got an envelope in our bags like that? The answer is no my friend. Everything they sent you is good, the pictures, the water balloon thing. Marco is the only one that gets regular letters from his Mom and half the letter is usually complaining about the fact that he doesn't write home often enough."

"Ain't that the truth," Marco laughed.

"The point you're missing is that four out of five of you were brought to The Ranch and forgotten," Ryan raged.

"No man, the point you're missing is that four out of six of us don't have families that are worth going home to," Antonio surged back.

"Ryan man you just got here," Frankie jumped in. "Just wait and see what they do. Not to mention, you're sentence is only for two weeks. Me, dude I've got two years here. I'm telling you man, a family that doesn't care does not waste their time with little notes that say 'We love you!' They mean it man. Don't write them off just yet."

"Finish putting your stuff away man and then come downstairs for dinner. We'll save you a seat." Antonio patted Ryan on the shoulder before walking away. He knew what Ryan was feeling. There wasn't a boy there that didn't go through those same feelings when they arrived. The difference was Ryan's family cared. The Cruisers just needed to find a way to prove it to him.

When the boys finally dispersed, Ryan put his suitcase away and caught himself a quick shower. Closing his eyes he let the hot water pelt his head, hoping it would wash away the hurt. It didn't. His thoughts were cluttered and he felt confused. With his hair still wet, he went downstairs and right out the front door where he parked himself, alone, on the front steps to get come air. He gaped at the parking place where Sandy had dropped him off. He had to pull his eyes away from the site because he could feel the anger building all over again.

Ryan heard the door open behind him and he frowned with disgust. Without looking, he knew it would be Gina.

"Ryan, dinner is ready. You're roommates have a seat saved for you," she coaxed.

"I'm not hungry."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No," he stated curtly.

"Okay, well, if you change your mind just stop by the kitchen. Tomorrow we'll get you started on your project."

"What's the point? You've got me now. I'm part of the system all over again."

Tipping her head with curiosity, "What do you mean by that?"

"I didn't come here to be forgotten!" he raged again.

"Oooookay, let's back up a second. Who says you're going to be forgotten?"

"The guys in my dorm haven't heard from their families in months. Months!"

"Ryan calm down," she soothed sitting down next to him. She could see he was extremely upset about what the future on The Ranch would hold for him. "You will not be forgotten here Ryan."

"How can you say that? None of them hear from their families. Frankie hasn't heard from his family since he came here. I would have rather stayed in Chino than to be left here as some homeless kid!"

"Listen to me. First of all, the other boys have longer sentences than you and that's why they have been here for so long. Secondly, this is not an orphanage. This is a working Ranch where the court assigns Juveniles to come and work off their time in a productive manner rather than sitting in Juvie doing nothing. Lastly, you barely know these boys. You don't know anything about them or their lives yet."

"I know enough."

"You think so? Just how honest were you with them when they were asking you questions?" Off Ryan's glare, "That's what I thought. You're not the only guy in this place who has his guard up. Making up your mind about them, about your family or about this place after only four hours is not exercising good judgment. That's not sufficient time to make a real decision. It would be no different than me contacting Judge Whitney right now and telling her you're a brat and I have no use for you. It's a little ridiculous isn't it?"

Ryan ran his hands through his wet hair without answering.

"No one is going to make any decisions about any one or any thing after only four hours. You have got to give it a chance." Standing up from the steps, "I'll allow you to sit out here for up to thirty more minutes then I'll expect to see you in the kitchen helping your roommates out. It's your dorm's turn for kitchen duty." Pausing before she approached the door, "Oh one more thing, nice glare! I haven't seen one that good in a long time!"

Rolling his eyes at the sidewalk, Ryan just shook his head and waited to hear the door click. When it did, he finally straightened up a bit and took a deep breath. Maybe she was right. He had only been there for four hours, even though it felt like a hundred. Rubbing his hands together his eyes drifted to the empty parking lot again. He knew it wasn't true but he couldn't shake that abandoned feeling. Shaking his head again, he stood up. He had to get moving, there were dishes to dry. The last thing he needed was to be reprimanded on his first day and have additional days tacked on to his sentence. Still brooding, he walked back into the farmhouse and headed to the kitchen.

Ryan remained quiet for the rest of the evening. He did what he had to in order to keep his chores current and keep his roommates happy, not to mention keep Gina off his back. His roommates understood what he was feeling and gave him some space. He'd most likely come around eventually.

Hanging back a bit, Gina also kept a close eye on Ryan. History spoke for itself and over the years she'd learned that a boy's first forty-eight hours at The Ranch could tell her almost everything she needed to know about them. New boys coming to The Ranch were almost always inclined to make their mark somehow. That was one of the side effects of coming from a Juvenile facility. They always arrived still in survival mode where they only consider what's best for themselves.

Ryan, however, was not the classic case. He was one of the most guarded people Gina had come across in a long time. He knew how to walk that very fine line between doing what you had to in order to get by without revealing much of anything. There weren't many boys that shared that talent. Even though he talked very little, she could tell he was paying attention to everything around him. He seemed to have a problem with adults, authority figures…then again, what boy at The Ranch didn't? He also seemed to have a problem with people just being nice to him. Gina had seen that many times before with other kids from abusive homes. So much of their lives prior to The Ranch had been consumed by mental and physical pain, as well as disappointment, that it just becomes a way of life. It becomes a coping mechanism to shun things or embrace things because they feel it won't last. Yep, Ryan was going to be a tricky one. Gina's first order of business would be to calm him down a bit and get him talking. She saw how he acted when his foster Father dropped him off. Between the two of them they couldn't have faked such genuine feelings for each other. Ryan had a lot to learn about love and being a participating member of a caring family. Smiling to herself, Gina took out her pen and started drawing up Ryan's schedule for the next day. With only two weeks to work with him, she was going to have to kick his tail into gear, and fast!

With his roommates watching a bit more TV before lights out, Ryan went up to the dorm and threw himself down on his bunk while the room was quiet. Lights out was still forty minutes away but he was beat. It had been a mentally taxing day on many levels. Saying goodbye to the Cohens and meeting the guys, it was a lot of adjustments to make in a single day. He felt overwhelmed. The corner of his eye caught something and he turned to look at the wall. Raising his head off his pillow, he was surprised at what he found. His roommates tacked up his photos that Kirsten had sent, as well as the cake coupon and Seth's Ziploc baggy full of broken water balloons. Someone had written 'Now that's a reason to get back home!' on a piece of paper and tacked it on the wall above all the other things. Ryan managed a smile at the collection. Turns out the guys just might be on to something.

"Kirsten always said all I needed was the right motivation," Ryan said out loud to himself in the empty room. "Maybe I'm looking right at it."

Nestling against his pillow, still looking at the photos, Ryan dozed off before his roommates returned.

Almost three hours away from Ryan, a very different scene was unfolding. Dawn realized she was becoming a little too coherent for her liking and she made her way to the kitchen to scrounge up another bottle of booze. Searching the cabinet, she found her regular supply had run dry. Angry, she slammed the cabinet door shut and whirled around to swear at the ceiling. In doing so her eyes zoned in on a lone bottle on top of her fridge. Smiling, she bit her lower lip and crossed the kitchen. Stretching her arm tall to reach the bottle she leaned up against the refrigerator door and came face to face with an old photo of Ryan.

Still biting her lip, her smile faded. Sliding her arm down to the photo, she allowed her fingers to graze his face. The photo had been up there for years. The corners were either torn off or curled and it had faded somewhat from being in the sunlight. In one of her few sober moments, her mind questioned when the young boy in the photo turned into the nearly grown man who wanted nothing to do with her. For the first time it hit her that years had passed and easily three quarters of that time was lost in alcohol-induced blackness.

She studied Ryan's face. There was no smile and his eyes were empty. She observed that he had strategically tipped his head to hide some bruising on the side of his face. There was no happiness in anything about him. Backing away from the photo, she walked quickly to her living room and snatched up another old photo taken at the holidays. The photo showed her sitting on the couch, smiling with each of her arms around each of her sons, and a cocktail in the hand around Ryan. Her older son, Trey, looked entirely put off in the photo. Clearly the photo was snapped against his will and he was less than happy to be a part of it. Ryan on the other hand wasn't even looking at the camera. Instead, his concentration was drawn to the drink in Dawn's hand, which was spilling on his shoulder in the photo.

Suddenly panicked, Dawn ran to the hall closet. Flipping the overheard light on, she frantically searched the shelves for her family photos. Not really the type of Mom to hang onto keepsakes, she finally came across a small shoebox. Gently she took the box out and sat down on the couch, staring at it momentarily as if she were afraid of what she might find inside. Finally finding the courage to remove the dusty lid, she lifted a total of approximately fifty photos from the box. That was it. That was every photo she ever took, or managed to save.

She flipped through the photos, slowly at first but which each photo her heart raced faster and swelled with hurt. Every single photo of her family demonstrated the same facts, over and over and over again. Trey looked pissed off. Ryan looked sad, if he was looking at the camera at all. And there was Dawn. Each photo portrayed her either happy with a drink in her hand, or red-eyed and smashed…still with a drink in her hand.

With her emotions reaching an unbearable level, she chucked the photos and their box across the room and screamed in frustration. Grabbing fistfuls of her hair, she held onto her head and rocked herself on the couch. Her family was the way it was…because of her. It was a horrifying revelation. Trey had left when he was seventeen. He called her a variety of names when he left but at the moment, 'drunk-ass useless bitch' came to mind. And here they were, a year and a half later, and her other son was doing everything in his power to leave home as well. It hurt. It hurt to know she had failed not one, but both of her kids. It hurt to know she'd lost years she could never get back. Most of all, it hurt to realize…she didn't care. The bottle controlled her entirely…mind, body and soul. For as long as she could remember, achieving numbness was all that mattered. Still rocking on the couch, she started crying hysterically. When she couldn't take it any more, she jumped up, ran to the kitchen and yanked the bottle off the top of the fridge. Ripping the cap off, she tipped the bottle to her lips, closed her eyes and drank. By the time she stopped roughly a third of the bottle was gone.

Frazzled by her emotional outburst, she stumbled backwards against the sink. Her eyes drifted back to Ryan's photo on the fridge. Raising the bottle again, she sucked down more lost memories and walked up to the photo.

"I am what I am Ryan. But I'm still your Mom. You can't take that away from me."

Feeling a little woozy, she slid down against the cabinets until she was sitting on the floor. With her legs spread out in front of her, she raised her bottle to toast Ryan's photo.

"Here's to you kid. We'll see who wins this one."

(TBC)


	18. Baby Steps

Bad Behavior Chapter 18

Baby Steps

Ryan awoke with a start the next morning. There was a loud buzzer going off in the dorm. Frankie bounded down off his bunk and crossed the room to smack the alarm off and get his roommates going. "Come on guys, time to go to work."

One by one all the guys rolled out of bed, except for Ryan. Turning towards the window he pulled his arm up over his face. Through the slits that were his eyes at that hour he could see the sun hadn't even broken through the haze yet.

"Come on man, you don't want to be late," Marco warned, giving Ryan a tap.

"What the hell time is it?" Ryan complained.

"Five a.m. It's the one thing about this place that actually sucks worse than Juvie. At least a guy could sleep until seven in Juvie."

With tousled hair, Ryan looked out his window again with a monstrous yawn. This early morning stuff wasn't going to put him in a better mood anytime soon. Grumpy, he threw off his covers, grabbed his morning case and got up to walk to the bathroom. Adding to his displeasure that morning was a line of four guys in front of him. Rolling his eyes, he leaned against the hallway wall to wait his turn, sighing with disgust.

"Good morning boys," Gina greeted with her usual smile. Doing a quick head count, she marked her morning chart. Her smile turned extra cheerful when she got to Ryan. "Hey you're up! Good boy! Wait till you see what we have planned for you today!"

"Gina the guy didn't even get to take a piss yet, don't be razzing him first thing," Antonio teased them both.

"And Good Morning to you too Antonio!"

"I hate this morning line," Antonio complained, leaning against the wall next to Ryan. "Makes a guy want to run outside and piss in the bushes."

"I heard that Antonio!" Gina barked from down the hall as Ryan snorted a laugh. "We're not doing that today boys, although I wouldn't mind having either of you around for another two weeks."

Pulling his eyes off of Gina, Ryan turned to Antonio for an explanation. "Yeah I did it," he admitted.

"You serious?" Ryan asked with his eyebrows arched. Antonio just didn't come across as a rule breaker.

"Yeah. One of the other bathrooms was being worked on up here at the time so we were sharing ours with two other dorms instead of just one. I got up one morning and there had to be nine guys in front of me. I just couldn't wait. But between you and me, it was a dumb thing that landed me an extra time in this place. Don't do it. If you're in the mood for a demerit, pick something more exciting."

Ryan snorted another laugh.

"So," Antonio eased into a conversation. "You feeling a little better today? After last night I mean?"

Ryan's body language proved he was 'hemming and hawing' at the answer. "I don't know," he replied, focusing his attention on his morning case.

"Well, let me just say this…today will be rough. First one working always is. After today you'll know what your schedule is like and what they expect. You'll feel a little more in control with what's going on around you. Just try to be…open minded today. It'll help."

Preoccupied with Antonio's comment, Ryan moved up in the line and contemplated exactly what the day would bring.

Sandy stood at the kitchen window staring out at the sea. The air was murky and the haze above the waves still hung thick while the morning sun tried to burn through. Sandy noticed his head felt as thick as the air looked outside. Sipping his coffee, he hoped his senses would awaken soon. There was a lot at stake today and he needed to be on top of his game. Mere hours were separating him and his next conversation with Dawn. Inhaling slowly, he considered the challenge that lay before him. It was no secret that Dawn had no interest whatsoever in what was best for Ryan. All she seemed to care about was whether or not she came out ahead in the end. Sandy shook his head when he considered what would happen if Ryan were forced to return to Chino. It occurred to him that Ryan would probably return to the streets and all that they entailed, none of it good. The visions made Sandy sick. Ryan had come so far since leaving Chino. Some how, some way, he had to keep him in Newport…it was just a matter of getting Dawn to let go.

Ryan learned quickly that breakfast moved fast at The Ranch since chores were waiting. After the meal, the boys cleaned everything up and dispersed in different directions according to their own schedules. Unsure of what his role was supposed to be at this time, Ryan was rather relieved when Gina pulled him aside.

"Ready to get started Ryan?"

"Yeah. Sure."

A brief pit stop in the mudroom had them changing into their work boots before heading outside.

Ryan was amazed at the expanse of The Ranch that was hidden behind the main house. There were three storage buildings, two huge barns and three fenced in pastures.

"There's someone special you have to meet. Follow me please," Gina instructed, tugging on the door to the barn.

Ryan immediately wrinkled his face at the smell. They walked about a third of the way through the barn before Gina stopped and turned around to Ryan.

"As you can tell by the odor, there are animals in here. Taking care of the barn has a lot to do with your chores."

Ryan nodded while listening carefully. He wanted to get his right. He hoped the sooner he got to work, the quicker his sentence would go by. His attention, however, was sidetracked by the sensation of hot air on the back on his neck. Glancing over his right shoulder gave him the scare of a lifetime.

"JESUS!" he yelled, stumbling away from the wall. Ryan looked back in horror at the giant creature before him while all Gina could do was laugh.

"Easy Ryan, you'll hurt her feelings," Gina continued to chuckle. Walking up to the horse, she rubbed her nose. "Come on over here, give her a pet."

Ryan threw Gina a look that clearly said 'I don't think so'. "I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm not really into animals. Besides she just about took a chunk out of my neck."

"Okay now that's funny!" Gina laughed again. "You've got this one pegged all wrong Ryan. She LOVES boys! This is Maggie and she's going to be your project while you're here at The Ranch."

"Project?" Ryan asked curtly, dreading the answer that would be following.

"Yep. Maggie's well being will depend entirely on you during your stay here. You'll be responsible for feeding and washing her, as well as keeping her stall clean. You'll also be exercising her in the arena as well as by going on rides."

"Rides?" Ryan's eyebrows couldn't peak any higher. There was no way in hell he was getting on that thing.

"Yes, rides. All the boys here are responsible for a horse. The guys in your dorm go riding together everyday and they're gonna want you to go with them…so…we're gonna have to teach you how to ride."

She saw the terror on Ryan's face. This kid probably never owned a goldfish let alone came face to face with a horse this size.

"Ryan, stop wishing you were at Juvie instead of here right now. Once you get through this first day or two, you're gonna love this and you're going to find Maggie is a very important part of your stay here. Now come on over here and say 'Hi' to Maggie. Just pet her nose up here. She likes this."

Cautiously, Ryan approached the giant animal. Doing as he was told, he stroked the horse's nose with two carefully posed fingers. Enjoying the attention, Maggie unexpectedly lowered her head in Ryan's direction causing him to withdraw his hand and step back quickly.

"It's okay Ryan, don't be afraid. She's just showing you she's accepting your love."

'Love?' Ryan thought to himself. That didn't look like love.

Gina reached over and unlatched the stall gate and slid the door open.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait…what are you doing? She's gonna get out!" Ryan observed, now more terrified than ever.

"Well you can't exercise her in here, there's no room. We have to take her to the arena." Pulling the reigns down, she held them out to Ryan. "Here you go."

"Look, you should have someone more qualified do this. I don't…I don't…"

"You're going to be qualified when I'm done with you," Gina smiled. "Just walk with her Ryan, she knows where she's going."

Hearing Antonio's advise in his head, Ryan trying to keep an open mind. Swallowing nervously, he gingerly took the reigns from Gina but kept his arm outstretched, hoping to keep a safe distance away from Maggie.

"Now to get her to walk, you just do this…" Placing her hand on Ryan's hand, she gave a couple of clicks with her tongue along with a firm tug on the reigns, and the horse led itself out of the stall.

"Okay, okay great so now how do you get her to stop!" Ryan panicked, even though Maggie had only taken a few steps.

"Well, what do they do in the cowboy movies?"

"What!"

"Go ahead, give a tug on those reigns and say it loud and proud!"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Ryan called out without hesitating and Maggie stopped. Ryan took a visible deep breath of relief. This little task of Gina's was pushing him to the edge.

"See? She's listening to you already."

"Gina, look, there's gotta be something else I can do to pull my weight around here. I can cook every meal if I have to, or fix a broken fence if you've got one…build a shed…something…anything."

"You can do this Ryan," Gina coached firmly. "You just have to believe in yourself."

"I do believe! I know I can't do this!" Ryan explained, exasperated.

"Yes…you…can," Gina pushed again.

Defeated, Ryan closed his eyes and let his head droop momentarily before throwing a sideways and condescending look at Maggie. "Okay. I'll try."

"That's my boy! That's what I want to hear! So how 'bout you get her moving out to the arena?" Off Ryan's look, "I'll be right here Ryan. It'll be fine."

Ryan stood silent for a few minutes hoping Gina would get tired of waiting and take the reigns from him. She didn't. Without making conversation, Ryan turned to Maggie, clicked his tongue and jiggled the reigns and Maggie started moving forward again.

"That's it Ryan, just hold the reigns and walk next to her as if you guys are just out for a stroll and you do this every day."

As they walked through the stable some of the other horses came to their gates as if to watch Maggie walk by. Ryan had to duck several noses on his way out.

"Horses don't get jealous, do they?" he asked, worried about the attention they were drawing.

"Nah, they're just trying to show you their good side Ryan. They want to come out to play too."

Worried about where that comment might be leading, "I can't handle more than one of these at a time," he admitted.

"Oh no no, and you're not allowed to either. You and Maggie are a team. You're not allowed to handle someone else's horse."

When they reached the arena, Gina instructed Ryan to stop Maggie and then she had him clip a long tether to her harness.

"Alright. These little fenced areas are the arenas. We use them to exercise the horses and this is where we teach you new guys to ride. Now I want you to take Maggie and walk out to the center of the arena and give her a 'come on Maggie' with a kissing sound. She knows the routine forwards and backwards and when you do that, she's going to start circling around you. It's just going to be a simple trot for a bit of exercise. It's just us out here so don't be embarrassed. Okay, it's all you guys. Show me what you can do."

After only a few times Ryan found he had mastered the 'click and tug'. Even though it wasn't anything tricky, there was something empowering about controlling an animal that size. Making their way to the center, Ryan moved forward with his lesson.

"Come on Maggie," he commanded, followed by a kissing sound. Sure enough, Maggie broke into a trot with Ryan spinning in the center, still holding onto the tether.

"That's it Ryan! You're a natural! That's great!" Gina praised climbing on the fence to take a seat.

"I'm glad you think so because I don't know what the hell I'm doing!" Ryan yelled back.

"Well then you're faking it really well!" Gina laughed.

After about ten minutes, Gina had Ryan bring Maggie to a halt and walk her over to the fence.

"Very good! I'm impressed! Okay Ryan, time to turn you into the Marlboro Man. Let's get you up there."

"Ah…I'm not ready for that."

"Are you kidding? After what I just saw, you're ready! Come on around this side. I want you to put your left boot in the stirrup here, grab hold of that horn on the front of the saddle and then just pretend you're pulling yourself up onto the biggest Harley you've ever seen."

Standing his ground, Ryan shook his head at Gina.

"You can shake all you want as long as it's on your way up! Let's go."

"No. I'm not ready," Ryan insisted.

Gina cocked her head at Ryan, "Okay. I'll give you a choice and you decide. You can either climb on up there and learn to ride…or…you have to tell me something about your past." She watched Ryan's face get long with disappointment. "It's a choice. Might not be a choice you like…but it's a choice."

Rolling his head to the side with uncertainty, Ryan stared at Maggie's saddle momentarily. "I can't…I don't…" his words faded.

"It's okay to talk about the things that bother us Ryan. It helps us heal and move past them."

Ryan shot her a look she hadn't seen before. For the first time he appeared threatening. His 'don't go there' look clearly proved she'd struck a nerve.

"My past is exactly where it belongs…in the past." Ryan tried to control his breathing. He didn't want Gina to open Pandora's box so he opted for his only way out of the conversation. "So how do I do this?" he asked, turning to Maggie.

Gina was more than surprised. It was rare that a boy turned down a way to get out of riding on their first day, no matter what the alternative was. She knew it would be hard to get Ryan talking but now she was getting a taste of the lengths he would go to in order to keep his past hidden.

"Wow. You really aren't a talker are you? Most of the boys will do almost anything to get out of riding on their first day. Why did you choose riding?" She hoped his reply her question would lead to more conversation. Instead, all she got was another dirty look and more circle talk.

"Look, it took me a long time to put my past behind me. I have no interest in reliving it with anyone…not with the courts, not with the Cohens and certainly not with you." His feelings came through loud and clear and the warning tone in his voice served notice. Whatever was in his past, he wanted it left alone. "You offered me a choice, I made it. Now are we doing this or not?"

Gina was taken back by his forwardness. For someone that didn't talk much, he sure knew how to get his point across. "You're right Ryan. I did offer you a choice. So, let's learn about riding shall we?"

Gina could see she was on the brink of pushing him too far. With the topic dropped, Ryan turned his attention to the horse but Gina could see his demeanor had changed. Ryan may have won that round but there would be other opportunities.

Following Gina's instructions, pulling himself up onto the horse changed his perspective on a lot of things, most specifically how far away he was from the ground.

"Christ this is high," he complained. Leaning forward he put his hands on the back of Maggie's neck. "There's nothing to hold on to."

Pulling the reigns back over Maggie's head, she handed them to Ryan. "Here you go Hon, hold them this way, pinky fingers to the outside at all times. And I need you to sit up straighter. If I let you ride leaning forward like this your manhood is going to be really hurting you after five minutes and you're gonna be sorry you didn't listen to me."

Not liking the sound of that, Ryan immediately changed his position on the horse.

"Perfect. Now we're just going to walk." Before Ryan even had a chance to protest, Gina gave the old 'click and tug' to Maggie and before he knew it, he was riding.

"See? I told you, you're a natural," she smiled. "Okay, time for some stuff you need to know. I think you'll be surprised to learn just how simple it is to control a horse. Whoa Maggie." Reaching up, Gina unhooked the long tether from Maggie's harness and stepped away. Ryan's mouth fell open with new panic, realizing he was on his own.

"Stay with me Ryan. This is going to be easier than you think. Now, you've got reigns in your hands and a foot in each stirrup, not to mention the ever-useful click of your tongue. If you want Maggie to go to the right, you click, tug to the right and tap her right side with your right stirrup. You do the opposite to go to the left. You already know how to make her stop, so go ahead, take her around the ring."

Ryan looked on in horror from atop the horse, clinging to a fistful of hair from Maggie's mane. He wasn't so sure about this.

"Remember Ryan, if you think you can, you can. Besides, you're one of those boys that has spark in his eyes. I know deep down you're wondering if you can control this horse…so let's try it and see what happens."

Ryan was amazed that Gina seemed to know what he was thinking, even after only spending a few hours together. She was right, part of him was curious to know if he could do it or not. Glancing around the arena, he clicked, tugged and tapped to the left. Obediently, Maggie took a casual stroll to the left and followed the path she was previously trotting. Circling around they returned to Gina, where Ryan brought the horse to a halt.

"Ryan, I am impressed," she praised. "Want to learn a trick?"

"You're not going to tell her to jump a fence or anything, are you?"

"Nooo, of course not. You can make her turn in a full circle by pushing your boot into her side and pulling the reigns to the same side."

Without waiting for further explanation, Ryan tried the 'trick' and succeeded.

"I gotta be honest with you Ryan, I don't know what you were so nervous about. Either Maggie loves you to death or you were born to ride!" she laughed. "Okay, it's time to get Maggie back inside."

After teaching Ryan a simple dismount, she let him cue Maggie and walk her, unaided, back to her stall.

"The one task you always want to double, triple or even quadruple check before leaving the barn…make sure Maggie's gate is completely closed and latched. Now you can grab a fist of hay from right there and hold it under her nose so she can snack on it. Just pay attention as it disappears so she doesn't accidentally snack on your fingers."

Grabbing a fist full of straw he held it out for the horse to have, a quick smile flickered across his face.

"Did you just smile?" Gina asked, amazed. Ryan rolled his head away in embarrassment. "You did, didn't you? Damn I'm getting good!" Looking at her watch, "Roughly three hours into your first day and I got a smile!"

Looking at Gina with a tormented smirk on his face, "Alright, you win okay? The horses are pretty cool…now that I know she won't eat me."

"I'm glad to hear you found your happy place…although we'll see how you feel this afternoon when you're shoveling poop!" Gina teased, walking away.

"You just ruined my happy place Gina," Ryan teased back as she left the barn.

The drive to Chino had Sandy's nerves standing on end. It wasn't the traffic or the lack of good songs on the radio, he just wished he was already sitting with Dawn and talking, hopefully with some success, about Ryan's future.

When he finally did pull up in front of the house, he hesitated. He had only met Dawn a few times and ironically each one was a confrontation of some sort. Looking at her front door he could only imagine what would go on behind there today. The sidewalk to the front door seemed to increase in length as he forged his way to the front door. Reminding himself that this was about Ryan, he raised his hand and knocked.

"Go away!" a voice inside the house commanded.

"Mrs. Atwood? It's Sandy Cohen."

There was silence. On the inside of the house Dawn leaned her head against her side of the front door. This was the last visitor she expected or wanted to see right now.

"Mrs. Atwood I just need five minutes of your time. Please."

After a short pause, Sandy heard the lock snap and the door creaked open slowly. Dawn's haggard and embarrassed face peeked through the opening.

"This really isn't a good time. Maybe you could come back?" she asked, almost pleading.

"Actually, I think it's best if we talked now. I promise I'll keep it short."

Shrugging her shoulders she opened the door and stepped back to allow Sandy in. Upon entering, he took in the scene. Furniture was still in disarray and yet things weren't in the same position as his last visit, and he noticed photos strewn all over the floor. Bending down he picked up a photo of Ryan. He couldn't have been but six years old. He was sitting on a chair in his Batman pajama's sporting a black eye. Ryan offered not even a hint of a smile to his photographer.

"I see Ryan liked Batman."

Dawn quickly lit a cigarette, "Yeah he um, he did. He used to have that Bat-car around here somewhere. That was a long time ago though." Taking a seat on the couch, she waited for Sandy to start his plea. She knew that's why he came.

"You have…a lot of photos out right now," Sandy observed, taking a seat across from Dawn.

"You could say I had a bit of a reality check last night."

"Oh?"

"I can't lose him Sandy. He's all I have left. I've already lost everything else." Tears welled in her eyes while she concentrated on her cigarette.

"Believe me, I can't imagine what you're going through. But I also can't imagine how you're going to make this right, for Ryan's sake. Can you kick the booze, for good? Do you even want to?"

"I don't want him to have a new family!" she wailed with deep sobs. "He's my son! I may not be the world's best Mom, but I'm still his mom!"

"You'll always be his Mom. No one will ever take that away from you. That's not what we're trying to do. We are trying to give Ryan a future. This isn't about winning. This isn't about who gets him. This is about Ryan. I'm not sure you're aware of how badly he wants to stay in Newport. I fear if he returns to Chino he'll also return to the streets and get back into trouble. I don't think either of us want to see him in jail again."

Dawn wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. "Sometimes you just have to take the cards you're dealt, you know? Sometimes you're not supposed to have more or better than what you got."

The comment irked Sandy and, speaking of cards, it was time to show his hand.

"Dawn, Ryan wants to go in front of the judge and speak for himself at the custody hearing. He's sixteen and at that age, the judge is going to consider what he has to say and, quite frankly, it could be the deciding factor in his case. He's going to fight for what he wants and I think we both know, deep down, he doesn't want to be here."

Lighting a second cigarette, Dawn's body shook with emotion combined with the urge for a drink. "I can't believe that. Ryan wouldn't do that. It's not true."

Inhaling deeply, "It is true. I have nothing to gain by lying about this. I just want to make sure…if you're going to really fight to keep him here, that you're fighting for the right reasons. And as a parent, those reasons should be what's best for Ryan."

"You have no idea what it's like, this life. You have no idea how hard it is."

"You're right, I don't," Sandy agreed, standing up and walking to the door. "But I do know one thing, if it really was that hard, I'd be standing on my head doing whatever I had to so I could make it better for my kids, so it wouldn't be hard for them. I'll see you at the hearing."

Without giving Dawn a chance to say another word, Sandy gently closed the door behind him and walked back to his car. What he would have given to be a fly on the wall inside that house right now. Wanting to get out of Chino as quickly as possible he reached for his keys only to learn he still had Ryan's 'Batman' photo in his hand. He stared at the child in the photo wishing he could do more and praying he'd done enough to make a difference. Slipping the photo into his suit pocket, he started his car and pulled away.

(TBC)…

A/N Just a quick note for everyone…I'm doing my best to stay on top of the updates for this one but I needed to let ya's know I've been a bit sidetracked. I recently learned that I, Super Chino, am going to have…a Baby Chino: D It might be a Chinoette…I won't know for a while yet! Anyhow, this was a VERY unexpected surprise (on the same level as cardiac arrest)! And anyone that's been pregnant knows…I'm doing a LOT of sleeping these days: D For someone who normally writes chapters late at night, this is cutting into my creative time! It will get better and the chapters will keep coming, I just ask that y'all be patient while Baby Chino/Chinoette gets a little bigger. : D See y'all real soon with the next one: D


	19. Notes From The Heart

Bad Behavior Chapter 19

Notes From the Heart

By mid-afternoon Ryan was starting to drag. The early wake up call and the constant physical drain of his chores was really taking their toll. By three o'clock in the afternoon he'd learned how to control and ride a horse, to some extent, removed three dozen sixty pound bags of feed from a delivery truck by hand, and cleaned out Maggie's stall…he winced at that thought. He also helped Marco pull a trailer back to the barn by hand since the tractor had a flat tire. He was exhausted. When Gina walked into the room, he dreaded what would come out of her mouth.

"Alright guys, mail call," she announced, flipping through some additional envelopes from Saturday's mail.

Ryan stood up and silently disappeared to get himself a drink. He had no desire to hear who'd get a letter and who wouldn't. He knew there wouldn't be one for him. Snagging a bottle of water, he walked out onto the front porch where he found Frankie sitting on the steps.

"Hey man."

"Hey Ryan. Pull up some wood, man. Have a seat. You look beat man."

"I feel beat."

Chuckling, "It'll get better. You just gotta hang tough for a couple more days."

Ryan leaned against the railing and closed his eyes.

"I saw Gina teaching you to ride today. You looked good out there man. You done this before?"

"Hell no. What you didn't see is the heart attack I had in the barn when I thought the horse was going to eat my neck."

"Ha! I freaked too at first. You got Maggie though. She's a cuddler. Take good care of her and she'll take good care of you."

"What's your horse like?"

"Gina seems to have a talent for matching personalities. My horse is good, a little flaky like me, but good. His name's Tattoo…'nough said. If Gina would let me take him for some piercings we'd be twins."

Ryan smiled at the joke. It amused him that all the 'tough guys' in this place all seemed to have a hidden soft side…himself included.

"I kind of like it here," Frankie announced. "I hate to admit it but, I've done a few things on purpose so I could stay longer. Anything to avoid going home you know?"

Ryan nodded knowingly.

"But you're anxious to go home, right?" he inquired.

Dropping his eyes to the cracked wood under his shoes, "Only if I get to stay with my foster family. If the court sends me back to my real Mom…"

Now it was Frankie's turn to nod with understanding. "I'm sort of in the same boat. My Mom is a coke addict. She goes through these fits of rage and…no matter what I do it's the wrong thing you know?"

"I do." Ryan paused and studied Frankie's face, the pain of a broken family in his eyes. Ryan knew that pain. "My Mom…my Mom's an alcoholic," Ryan offered quietly. "She's always drunk or passed out or puking, not necessarily in that order."

"They have no idea how much it ruins our lives…we didn't ask for this," Frankie added. "But your foster family is good right? I mean they sent you all that stuff."

Ryan's mind wandered back to the Cohens and the home he made with them. Nodding, "I wish I could stay with them, but my gut says the court is going to send me back to Chino. It makes me sick to think about it. The Cohens, they care about me. I've screwed up since I've been there and they've been amazing. They got me to want to change and they've never laid a hand on me…" Ryan stopped his story, realizing what he just admitted. He could feel his cheeks heating up with regret.

"Don't worry man, you're secret's safe with me. I went through that too and I hate to talk about it just as much."

"See you get it, why doesn't anyone else get it? I know Gina is just chomping at the bit to get me talking. I don't know how to make her understand I just want to be…normal. I don't want to analyze what happened to me, I lived it. It was bad enough the first time. I'm past it. I'm not that kid anymore. If she could see me with the Cohens she'd understand."

"These book trained people, I think they're just amazed at guys like us because the stories are real and they want to hear them. I think sometimes in their quest to do good, they forget to consider how painful it was for us."

They sat on the steps in silence, both tolerating flashbacks of the pain they left behind.

Realizing what time it was, "Aw man, I'm missing Jeopardy!" Frankie hollered jumping up. Offering a guy shake to Ryan, "I won't say anything man. What happens on the porch, stays on the porch. Cool?"

"Cool."

Frankie disappeared into the house and Ryan leaned against the railing again. Closing his eyes, it only took a moment before he succumbed to his exhaustion and dozed off. Neither boy noticed Gina just inside the open window, busily scribbling away on her tablet.

_Sunday 4:40 pm – Ryan Atwood_

_Although juvenile remains guarded with adults, he has shown some trust in others his own age. Conversations with dorm-mates are lighthearted and insightful. Juvenile seems willing to open up to those who have the same 'broken' background as he does – in his eyes, they understand what others don't. I do believe juvenile will open up with time._

When Kirsten came home from the office, she looked pitifully on her husband who'd fallen asleep on the couch. Sitting down next to him she gently rubbed his face and his eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," she said softly. "I take it today didn't go as well as you planned."

"Honestly, I don't know what to think anymore. His Mom is looking at this whole thing backwards. She doesn't care about Ryan. All she cares about is herself. And today I saw this…" Reaching for his suit coat on the back of the couch, Sandy retrieved the photo of pajama clad Ryan and passed it to Kirsten.

"Oh my God." Kirsten could swear her heart stopped momentarily. Her mouth dropped open as she took in every inch of the photo. "He was just a baby. Look at his eye." Kirsten immediately recognized the sadness in his eyes. It was the same sadness she saw the day she ran into him in front of the country club after the charity meeting, after she'd let him leave their house and he wouldn't come home.

"That photo broke my heart," Sandy admitted. "Dawn had some sort of episode recently. When I walked in, there were photos thrown all over the place. I saw a few with Ryan in them. From what I saw, he never smiled. Can you imagine that?"

"I'm not sure I want to hear any more."

"I told her that Ryan is going to go before the judge. It seemed to have rattled her a bit. At least I think it did. It's hard to tell with her. The closer it gets to his hearing, the more I feel like a basket case. I can't even imagine what Ryan is going through right now."

"We have to stay strong, for Ryan's sake." Kirsten dropped her eyes down to the photo again. "Batman pajamas," she whispered. "Keep the faith Sandy. I think Ryan going before the judge is the right thing. I have a good feeling about it."

"I hope you're right."

Crossing the porch, Gina got down on her haunches next to Ryan. Smiling at his sleeping face, she gently placed her hand on his arm. "Ryan…Ryan, wake up sweetie."

Startled, Ryan jumped awake and firmly grabbed Gina's arm, scaring the living daylights out of her as well.

"Ryan! Ryan, it's Gina! It's okay!"

Blinking back to a coherent state, Ryan realized he had quite the clamp on her arm. "Gina…sorry…I'm sorry. You scared me," he admitted, turning her arm loose.

"It's okay sweetie. Are you okay?"

Avoiding eye contact, Ryan nodded hesitantly.

"Okay…good. Whew. I know you like your privacy out here on the porch, so I have a few things to leave with you. Here are some pens and a notebook for you. You can use your notebook to write letters to your friends and family, or journal your stay here. Anything you want. Marco likes to draw cars in his. I'll leave you to it. Hang in there. We're only about an hour away from dinner and showers and then you can crash for the day if you want to. I'll see you at dinner."

Ryan gawked at the notebook. Sketching wasn't his thing. Journaling was out of the question. Whatever thoughts or emotions he was feeling, leaving a written record of them was out of the question. His mind drifted to the Cohens. He could write a letter…but words were never really his strong suit, not in person and definitely not on paper. Frowning, he set the notebook down. Rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, he wondered what the Cohens were doing at that time. He wondered if they thought of him as much as he thought of them. His thoughts darted back and forth between the good and the bad. He thought about Sandy bringing him home from Juvie. He thought about Kirsten finding him drunk or in a compromising position with of a girl, more than once in each case. He thought about how she took him back in, even with all his flaws, after he'd run away. He thought about all the little things they did that proved they cared, like when Kirsten pulled his blankets over him when she thought he was sleeping. The way Seth always had his back, no matter what. His own blood brother never even did that. It was always every man for himself. And Sandy. Sandy seemed to always be fighting for Ryan, ever since the day he brought him home. He stood up to the community. He stood up to the courts. He was always looking out for him.

Sighing, Ryan picked up the notebook and opened it to the first page. The blank lines stared back at him. Taking the cap off his pen, he started to write…

_Hey, _

_I'm going to give this letter thing a chance. You guys know me. I don't say much in person and finding the words to write down isn't much easier for me but – here it goes._

_So far The Ranch has been okay. Granted, I've only been here about twenty-four hours. The guys in my dorm seem pretty cool. Our dorm is nicknamed 'The Cruisers' because we've all stolen at least one car. Impressive huh? _

_The chores started today. It's a lot busier than I expected it to be but it's okay because the time goes by fast. Right now I'm looking forward to dinner and a shower and then hitting my bunk by 8pm. I'm exhausted._

_Sandy would be impressed to know that our days start at 5am. Each of you have seen my morning face – now imagine waking me up 4 hours sooner! (It's not pretty)._

_I guess that's all. It's time for dinner and this week my dorm has kitchen duty. I'll try to write again when I have a chance. _

_Ryan _

Ryan glared at the short note in front of him, it hardly seemed worth mailing. There was a part of him that wanted to hold onto the letter, to see if the Cohens would send one to him first. Glancing out to the empty parking spaces, it dawned on him that hanging on to his letter would be the wrong choice. He wanted to go back to the Cohens more than anything and sending his letter would show them he was thinking of home. Yes. Sending it was the right thing to do.

Ripping the paper out of the notebook, Ryan went inside and found Gina.

"Um, I was wondering if…if you could give me an envelope," he asked shyly.

A smile spread over Gina's face. "Oh absolutely Ryan! Follow me, I'll show you where we keep everything."

He followed her to a little nook that had a very large desk and many supplies on it.

"Here we are," she demonstrated, offering him an envelope and a stamp.

Embarrassed, Ryan held out his letter to her, his head hung low to avoid eye contact.

Gina tipped her head and offered a sympathetic smile. "Ryan, you don't have to show me that. I know sometimes they check letters in Juvie, but we don't do that here at The Ranch. Your letters are private here."

"Oh." Pulling his arm back in he frowned at his letter. "It's really short."

"That's fine. Your letters can be anything you want them to be. There's no right or wrong way to do them."

Ryan nodded, gaining just a smidge of encouragement from Gina.

"Go ahead and make out your envelope, don't forget your stamp. When you're finished, put it in this basket right here. This is tomorrow's outgoing mail. And that's it. You can send as many as you want as often as you want." Gina couldn't help but noticed Ryan was still preoccupied with his letter. Her gut told her what was running through his mind. "Remember what I said Ryan. You have to give it a chance. You just got here yesterday. Even if they wrote you a letter the minute you left home, it'll take a few days to get here."

"I know. It's just that my life had always been so full of disappointment until they came along, I don't want…" Catching himself in mid-sentence Ryan's eyes drifted across the wall and locked with Gina's. He'd slipped and they both knew it. Quickly shifting his concentration back to the blank envelope, he frowned at it, angry with himself.

Gina had already learned that pushing didn't work with Ryan and this little incident proved he would talk, or slip, when he was ready. Trying to make sure salt wasn't poured on an open wound, Gina opted to skip delving into his statement. Instead, "I'll tell you what, you've got a letter to wrap up and it's time for dinner. So I'm going to let you finish that and I'm going to check on how things are in the kitchen. I know you're really worn out and could use some sleep. You had a busy day today. Just please promise me you won't skip dinner."

Ryan nodded again, still avoiding eye contact, and Gina walked toward the kitchen. He was tremendously relieved that Gina didn't prod into another conversation about his past or his feelings. Sitting down he finished his envelope and put it in the basket. He tapped his pen on the desk and replayed his comment to Gina in his head. Whether he liked it or not, Pandora's box had just been opened.

Ryan remained quiet through dinner, only replying to comments made directly to him. When the meal ended, he did his share of clean up before retreating upstairs for an early shower and then to bed.

Wanting to make sure, she entered the dorm. "Ryan, are you up here?"

Upon hearing her voice Ryan wrestled to sit himself up on his bunk.

"Oh don't get up, no need. I'm just making sure you're okay."

"Can't stay awake," Ryan yawned, laying back down.

"That's okay. There's a lot of guys that turn in early," she explained straightening his blanket a bit. She was shocked when Ryan's eyes flew open and stared at her momentarily. She couldn't read his face. It was just…blank. When he finally did turn away from her, she noticed him lock his vision on the photo of his foster family on the wall by his bunk. His chest was rising and falling quickly, but quietly…clearly she had infringed on sacred ground. "I'm sorry Ryan. I should have left your blanket alone. Get some rest. I'll see you in the morning."

Ryan didn't say a word. Gently closing the door to the dorm, Gina hurried downstairs to her office and pulled out her tablet and Ryan's file. She wanted to get some notes down while everything was still fresh in her mind.

_Sunday evening 8:20pm_

_Checked on juvenile, Ryan Atwood – turned down early for bed. _

_For the 2nd time today, juvenile (Ryan) has shown positive emotion towards foster family. A simple tuck of a blanket by his sponsor (Gina Thompson) seemed to trigger feelings of home – with his foster family. Sponsor will continue to watch for positive interaction regarding foster family. To this point, juvenile has shown very few, and only negative emotions for birth mother. Pending further interaction with this juvenile, early indications show foster family may be a better environment for him._

Ripping the paper from the notebook, Gina quickly copied the same information into her computer under Ryan's file and then placed her handwritten note in his hard copy file. Turning off her light, she locked her office door and went to check on the boys that were in the family room.

When the morning alarm went off on Ryan's third day at The Ranch, he rubbed his eyes awake and sat up with a yawn. He truly hated these early hours, but he was getting used to them. The days were moving pretty fast now. He had a pretty good hold on his schedule and he was kept busy most of the time. He'd even reached a point where he looked forward to working with Maggie every day because that really wasn't 'work'. From five a.m. until four p.m., he was constantly on the go with very little time to consider anything else. Ryan was glad about that. His mind drifted to Seth's crazy comment about how quickly the days would go…'before you know it, it's dinner time, then it's bedtime, and poof! Another day went by!' He'd have to write that in his next letter to the Cohens. He knew Seth would get a kick out of that. Letters. The Cohens. It was his third day on The Ranch and he still hadn't heard anything.

Checking the clock he knew Gina would be coming in any minute announcing the 'Mail Call'. Without giving it a second thought, Ryan ducked out of the family room and cut through the kitchen on his way to the back door. The front porch was one of his favorite places to be alone, but Gina knew that and she would find him there. She hadn't really said a whole lot to him since his slip up with the letter and he was up for keeping it that way.

On his way through the kitchen he noticed some apples slices left on a plate. Whoever left them, they were obviously done with them since they were turning a bit brown on the edges from sitting out in the air for so long. Grabbing a napkin, Ryan took the last four slices, folded them into the napkin and put it in his pocket.

Crossing the back lot, Ryan tugged on the barn door and went inside. Several of the horses came to their gates wondering who had entered the barn. Walking down the center, Ryan passed them all until he came to Maggie's stall. Taking a deep breath, he folded his arms on the top of the gate and looked at Maggie, who was all too happy to walk over to him, forcing his off her gate.

"Hey Maggie," he greeted, stroking her nose. "You can't come out right now. I just thought I'd stop by. They're doing mail in there and you know I hate that."

The horse shook her mane as if she understood.

"I wish the Cohens could see you. I think they'd like you. They'd never believe you and I work together the way we do. Seth would never believe I know how to ride. We should make him a bet, we could make a lot of money. I would never have dreamed in a million years I'd ever even cross paths with a horse, let alone be anxious to see one every day. That just doesn't happen where I come from. Lucky for you, you've never had the undesirable experience of going to Chino. There's nothing there but trouble and disappointment…and my real mom is there. Point proven."

Maggie lowered her head as if she were showing interest in Ryan's story.

"No really, you don't want to meet her. I wouldn't want you to meet her. She made my life hell. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids…and she's one of them. I hope the judge doesn't send me back there. I don't want anything to do with her. The Cohens, they made a difference you know? They showed me my life doesn't have to be like that."

Maggie tipped her head at Ryan in understanding. Dropping her nose lower she took a sudden interest in his jacket pocket.

"Hey hey, what are you doing?" Ryan laughed, backing away while Maggie stretched her neck even longer at the scent emanating from his pocket. "Well that didn't take long for you to find." Reaching into his pocket he retrieved the apple slices. Maggie shifted her weight with anticipation. Serving up a slice at a time, Ryan held the snack under Maggie's nose. When the last slice was gone, he wadded up the napkin and put it back in his pocket.

"You slimed my hand Maggie. That's not very ladylike," he smiled. "Just don't tell Gina I gave that to you. I don't need to get in any more trouble. I just want to go back home."

A noise caught Ryan's attention and when he looked up, he was horrified to find a smiling Gina leaning against one of the gates with her hands behind her back.

With his smile immediately wiped away, "How long have you been standing there?"

"Longer than you'd like," she admitted candidly, causing Ryan to frown and turn his attention back to Maggie. "I'm very proud of you Ryan."

"For what?"

"For finding someone you trust to talk to."

"She's a horse," he answered matter-of-factly.

"That she is. But she's also a wonderful listener and a great secret keeper. Don't worry Ryan I'm not going to start prying. I was concerned when I didn't see you on the porch. I thought you might have come here so I checked," she explained walking up to Ryan and Maggie, her hands still behind her observantly. "I had to make sure I found you."

Ryan snorted at the comment. "Everybody still thinks I'm gonna run," he said, shaking his head with disappointment.

"Oh that's not the case at all. I had to find you in order to give you this." Bringing her hands forward, she held an envelope out to Ryan. "You got mail today."

A combination of shock and confusion crossed Ryan's face. "I did?"

"Uh huh. I know it's been a concern for you so I wanted to give it to you as soon as possible."

Taking the envelope into his own hand, Ryan scanned the return address. It was from the Cohens. He could feel his heart racing with anticipation.

"I'm sure Maggie won't mind if you go read that alone. She understands about private things."

Ryan nodded, his head still in a fog. "Thanks," was all he could muster. After about six steps he paused and turned around. "Gina? Exactly how much did you hear?"

Stroking Maggie's giant nose. "Oh not much at all, I just saw you giving an apple slice to Maggie and telling her not to snitch on you."

"Are you angry that I gave her that?" Ryan asked.

"No not at all. These horses are like my children and I'm always happy when you boys are extra good to them."

Content with Gina's answer, Ryan walked quickly out of the barn, closing the door behind him.

Gina smiled and did a little dance in front of Maggie. "Oooo Mags! We're getting somewhere! Don't tell him I heard it all. He doesn't need to know that part. It'll be our little secret. Just keep wrapping him around your hoof. He's gonna come around. We just have to have some patience with that one."

Meanwhile Ryan walked across the front of the house, down the steps and under one of the trees to a picnic table. He sat with his back to the house so no one could see his face while he read his letter. His heart pounded as he tore open the envelope. Unfolding the paper, he tried to brace himself for whatever news the letter brought.

_Dear Ryan, _

_Well, you've only been gone for fifteen minutes and I've already cracked out the stationary! At this rate, my letter will get to The Ranch before you do! I just know we are all going to go crazy without you since we can't come visit you up there. I hope you know if we could we'd be there to see you. _

_We are all hoping the time goes by quickly, as I'm sure you are too. Seth is planning to re-catalog his comic books. I'm not sure what that means, but he says it's a large project that should keep him busy for a while. Sandy is planning on updating the programs on the computer in the office. It will be wonderful if he can do it but he's going to drive me nuts! Bill Gates he is not! Ha ha! As for me…I don't know what I'll do without out you! I've walked in and out of the pool house a dozen times already. (Sigh) So, I did what any other woman would do when one of her son's is away from home for a while…I pulled out some of your leftover chocolate cake and dished myself up a double dose of soothing creaminess! Oh…I probably shouldn't have said that! Don't worry, we'll get more when you come home and you can have the whole thing! (If you can fight off Seth that is)! _

_I could go on and on about how much we all miss you and how we will be thinking about you every minute of every day, wondering what you are doing and wondering what The Ranch is like. We hope things are a bit more tolerable here. Hopefully it's better than Juvie was. _

_I'm sure your days are busy, but if you have some down time, please send us a note so we know you are doing okay. _

_We're counting the days until we can bring you home. Hang in there, we're very proud of you and we love you!_

_Love, _

_Sandy, Kirsten and Seth_

Ryan read the letter over two or three times. He was glad to be farther away from the house so no one could see the dorky smile on his face. Relief seeped from every pore in his body. He was ashamed of himself for thinking less of the Cohens, for jumping to conclusions. He realized now how ridiculous it was to think they had left him at The Ranch to be forgotten. Folding the letter he looked out over the hillside. He felt revived, rejuvenated and ready to face The Ranch head on.

Slipping the letter back in the envelope, he stood up and walked back to the house. It didn't come as a shock to find Gina lurking just inside the doorway.

Ryan tipped his head at her. "You don't have to watch me every minute of every day you know."

"But it's my job sweetie," she smiled. "You only pay attention when I'm watching you. I treat all my boys the same and I follow what all of you are doing, and more importantly, how all of you are doing."

Ryan realized maybe it was a good time to accept Gina as one of the good guys. "I know I haven't exactly been nice to you since I came here," he paused. "I'm sorry."

"I appreciate that Ryan. It's nice to hear something like that every once in a while." There was an awkward silence before she continued. "So I take it everything was okay…with your letter?"

Ryan fought the urge to put his defenses back up. "Yeah um, it's good. I guess…they really miss me."

"Well that's great news! That's wonderful! That should help put your mind at ease a bit."

Ryan nodded and let a smile sneak out. "Yeah it does." Feeling a bit sheepish about the way he was acting, Ryan decided to move on. "I better put this away. I have to help the guys in the kitchen soon."

"Sounds like a good idea. I'll see you at dinner."

Gina waited for Ryan to bound up the stairs before she stole away to her office and pulled out her tablet again.

_Tuesday 5pm_

_Ryan Atwood_

_Juvenile (Ryan) received a letter from his foster family today – his third full day on The Ranch. While the sponsor (Gina Thompson) is not aware of the contents of the letter, it is apparent that it came as a relief to the Juvenile. His personality since receiving the letter is spirited and charged. Clearly his foster family is his new world. Clearly they are the ones that made a difference in his life. And clearly that is the family this juvenile belongs with. Sponsor to send recommendation to the courts at the end of juvenile's sentence to be permanently placed with his foster family. _

(TBC)…

A/N: Thank you everyone for the blessings and well wishes for Baby Chino! The personal emails were wonderful: D Thank you! Thank you: D

I gotta say, I was relieved that the previous chapter (Baby Steps) was so well received! I was worried about that one! I thought either folks will like it or they'll think it's cheesy! LOL! And…I'm glad the horse lovers among us approve as well! I haven't been near a horse since I was in 6th grade! LOL! Being 35 now…yeah it's been a while! Thank God my memory still works! I hope the current chapter is just as enjoyable. I hope to be back soon with another one!


	20. Fear of the Unknown

Bad Behavior 20

Fear of the Unknown

Dawn's hand shook as she raised her cigarette to her lips. She watched other passengers boarding the bus and she nervously danced back and forth, shifting her weight. She still wasn't sure this was the right thing to do. Looking back at the door to the terminal she wrestled with her decision.

"Last call!" the driver announced.

With one last drag on her cigarette, she tossed the butt on the sidewalk and willed herself forward. Holding her ticket out to the driver, she felt as if her heart was ready to jump of her chest. Once her ticket was validated, with one foot on the first step of the bus she paused again staring at the door to the terminal. It wasn't too late. She could still change her mind.

"Lady, you getting on or not?" an impatient ticket holder complained from behind her.

Turning abruptly, Dawn climbed aboard the bus. Rushing past many open seats, she seated herself next to a window in the middle of the bus. She watched a few late stragglers run to the bus with their tickets in hand. It wasn't too late. She could still get off. She didn't have to do this. But somehow she lost herself in her thoughts and before she knew it, the scenery outside was moving. Pushing herself back against the seat, she held her breath. She really was going to do this. Maybe she'd regret it, maybe she wouldn't. But unless she wanted to get off the bus in the middle of nowhere, there was no turning back now. On the verge of a meltdown, she reached into her backpack and pulled out her flask. Taking a hearty slug, she sat back and waited for the numbness to follow.

Ryan was pleased that time at The Ranch was indeed going by rather quickly. In retrospect, his first week was one big blur when he considered what he'd learned and accomplished during that time. Half of his sentence here was done. Sitting on his bunk, he toweled off his wet hair before glancing at the photo of the Cohens. A crooked smile snuck onto his face. One more week, just one more and he'd be back home with them. His smile faded though when he blinked with the reality that it could very well be his last week with the Cohens. He couldn't ignore the custody hearing that was still looming and no one knew how that would turn out. He heard Kirsten's words in his head, "We're not going to think about that now. Today is about our family." Sandy had called them 'the Cohens plus one, an unbeatable combination.' Ryan hoped, now more than ever, that statement would hold true when his hearing rolled around.

Ryan's thoughts were interrupted when Gina came into the room.

"Hey Ryan. I have something for you."

Ryan watched Gina open a Kodak envelope and remove some photos. She had pulled out about seven photos before she handed them to Ryan.

"Now you know I took a couple of these, but there's a few in here that you didn't know about. Whichever the case, they're your photos and you can do what you like with them. You can add them to your wall there or you can send them home to your family. Whatever you want. Enjoy."

"Thanks." Ryan's attention had turned to the photos she handed him. He didn't even hear her leave the room. Flipping through the photos brought his smile back. Gina had captured some really good times on The Ranch. There were a few with Ryan and Maggie. Only one was a posed photo, the rest were a surprise to see. Even Ryan could see how relaxed he was in the photos. He looked…calm. He couldn't even remember ever being calm. He liked that he looked…normal. The other photos showed him and his dorm-mates. Some of them when they were doing chores, one was of them sitting at the picnic table laughing and playing cards. Ryan had no idea Gina took that photo. It was the last photo that made him snort a breath to himself. Gina had snapped a photo of him asleep against the railing on the front porch at the end of his first full day. In only a week's time he'd come a long way already and he was proud of himself for what he'd achieved.

Keeping one photo of him and Maggie for his wall, he decided to send the others to the Cohens. They wanted to know what The Ranch was about and Ryan was pleased with the story the photos told.

Downstairs at the big desk, he sat down and wrote another little note to the Cohens. Clearly mailing photos was a regular occurrence because Ryan found stiff mailing envelopes labeled "photos enclosed – do not bend" on the desk. Addressing his envelope, he doubled stamped it for the weight and tossed it in the basket. He wished he could see the Cohens reactions when they saw the photos. 'One more week' he kept reminding himself. One more week and he'd be going home.

Ryan's thoughts were distracted again, this time by shouting in the kitchen. Curious to see what was going on, Ryan cautiously walked down the hallway. It appeared Frankie was having an argument with Gina and some of the other staff.

"How could she do this!" he screamed. "I didn't do anything wrong! I did not to anything wrong!"

"Frankie, calm down," Gina stated calmly, trying to get a grip on the situation.

"The hell with this! She got what she wanted!"

"Frankie…"

"Just leave me alone!" he screamed again, his voice swallowed up by his emotions.

Rushing down the hallway, Frankie all but ran over Ryan on his way out the door. Soon after came Gina, also emotional. She paused when she got to Ryan.

"What happened?" Ryan asked, shocked at the scene before him.

"Ryan, I'm not at liberty to say."

"Is he okay?"

She hesitated. "No."

"Let me talk to him."

Before Gina could protest, Ryan doubled back down the hallway and out the front door after Frankie. It took a moment before Ryan noticed him kneeling in the grass just past the picnic table. Running across the lawn, Ryan stopped just short of Frankie.

"Hey…Frankie what happened?"

When Ryan saw Frankie's face, he felt a pain pierce his chest. Frankie was one of the most upbeat guys at The Ranch and to see him like this, Ryan knew there was a serious problem behind it.

"What happened? What's wrong?" Ryan asked again.

Sobbing, Frankie held a yellow envelope out to Ryan. The sight of the envelope turned Ryan's stomach. He knew that envelope was from the State. Gingerly he took it from Frankie. Pulling the notice from inside, Ryan could feel his mouth going dry as he read it. "Renee Reese (Birth Mother) relinquishes all custody, rights and interest in Frank Reese (Juvenile Son). As of this date, the Juvenile will be remanded as a Ward of the State."

Ryan didn't need to read any further. Those two sentences said it all. His mother had abandoned him. Ryan felt a shiver shoot up his spine. Tossing the notice on the grass, Ryan put his hand on Frankie's back.

"Listen to me man. We don't need them. Guys like us, we've been taking care of ourselves for a long time and we've done damn fine without them. If that's the best Mom she can be, you don't need her. Frankie I'm no different. My Mom is just as bad. Did she send me a notice like this? No she didn't. But she also won't let me go. She's keeping her claws on me so I don't have a choice but to deal with her. This is not bad news man. You'll be eighteen next year. You can do anything you want with your life at that point. Fuck the system and fuck your mom. You can be anything you want man, and there's not a damn thing she can do about it. You're going to be okay."

Frankie raised his head to look at Ryan. They had an understanding, two boys with broken lives.

"I don't know man. I just…I didn't deserve this. It's not fair!"

"I didn't deserve anything I got either. But that's part of what drives me to move on. Frankie I want to be someone, I want my life to go somewhere. Someday I'll finish school and have a job and maybe a family of my own and I'll take great pleasure knowing she had nothing to do with what I achieved and knowing my life wasn't being thrown away in the bottom of a bottle. That's how you come out ahead Frankie. Do not let her hold you back. If you let this bring you down and you throw your life away because of it, she wins. Now I don't know how you feel, but I'm not going to let my drunk, train-wreck of a Mother win. I'm going all the way with this one and I'm not looking back. You gotta do the same thing. You do that, you'll be just fine."

Frankie nodded his head. He liked Ryan's theory. "Ryan man, what are you going to do if they send you back to Chino?"

Drawing in a deep breath, Ryan dropped his head down. "I'll run. I promised the Cohens I wouldn't run any more as long as I was living there and I promised Judge Whitney I wouldn't run from here or from the Cohens…I didn't make anyone any promises about Chino."

"Yeah but…"

"I'd rather live on the street that with my Mom."

Again, Frankie nodded. "Thanks for the talk man. I needed that." Rubbing his sleeved arm across his face, he wiped away his tears.

"Any time man. Guys like us have to have a 'plan B' for everything. No different than boosting a car right? If that ignition doesn't cooperate, then you gotta pop the hood and stick that screwdriver in there right?" Laughing, Ryan stood up and offered a hand to Frankie and pulled him up.

Chuckling, "Yeah you know it!" Frankie answered before giving Ryan a 'guy hug'. "Thanks man."

"Don't worry man. What happens on the grass stays on the grass, right?"

Still chuckling, "Right. At this rate we'll have secrets laying all over the place!"

"Come on, let's go inside. You know Gina's going to be looking for you."

"Looks like she already found me."

Ryan looked up to see Gina standing rather close to them. "Frankie you okay?"

"Yeah, Gina. Ryan had some words of wisdom. I feel a lot better. I'm going to go in and catch a shower. See you guys inside."

With Frankie out of the picture, Ryan dreaded what would come out of Gina's mouth next. Surely she overheard their conversation.

"Could I talk to you for a minute Ryan?"

"Let me guess, Pandora's box just crashed to the ground?"

"Mmm, not quite, but it's definitely open." Gina watched Ryan cross his arms over his chest and tip his head a bit. He was visibly putting up his defenses right in front of her. "I really only have a question or two. I was wondering if you really believed what you told Frankie or if you just spun him a line to calm him down."

"Does it matter?"

"Sure it does."

Ryan stood silent, back on lockdown mode.

"Ryan, please answer me," she requested softly.

Sighing a deep breath of disgust, "The only way I can ever get even with my Mom for what she put me through is to not throw away my life the way she wasted hers."

"I see."

"No. You really don't. I don't want to have anything to do with her." Ryan watched Gina for a moment. When she didn't say anything further, "I'm going to go watch some TV with the guys."

Gina had acquired a pretty clear idea of Ryan's life, ironically, through overheard conversations. He was still a tough nut to crack, but he made it abundantly clear that he wanted his life to go somewhere and that alone was priceless. Gina decided right then and there to back off of Ryan a bit and see what else would turn up.

Kirsten set her cell phone down on the coffee table and rubbed her temples. She'd been battling contractors all morning and needed a break. Just as she stood up to refill her cup of coffee, the doorbell rang. Rolling her neck to crack the stress out of it, she shuffled to the door and got the shock of a lifetime when she opened it.

"Oh, Mrs. Atwood," she stuttered.

"Hi," Dawn smiled tentatively. "I was wondering if we could talk?"

Still mind-boggled, Kirsten nodded and opened the door farther, waving Dawn in.

"Wow. No wonder Ryan wants to live here. It's like a castle."

"Oh….really it's…well…my Father owns a development firm…he um, he builds these."

"Wow. My Dad was a B.B. gun champion but you can't really compare the two I guess," she remarked nervously.

An awkward silence filled the air.

"Um, I was just going to get a cup of coffee. Would you like some?" Kirsten offered.

"Sure."

"Follow me. We'll sit in the kitchen."

Once in the kitchen, Kirsten poured two fresh cups of coffee and set out some sugar and cream before taking a seat across from Dawn at the kitchen table.

"So," Kirsten initiated. "How…how did you get here? You didn't take a cab all the way here did you?'

"No, no. I um, I took two buses and a cab."

"Wow. You really, really wanted to get here then."

"I did. Look, I'll be honest with you. I don't know what I'm going to do yet…as far as the custody case. I just, I wanted to see…IF…if I let him go…"

"You wanted to see what sort of life he'd have," Kirsten stated flatly, finishing her sentence for her. Kirsten was flabbergasted by the fact that this 'so called Mother' was still deciding whether or not she wanted her own son.

"Yeah," Dawn agreed.

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"Nothing and everything I guess," Dawn chuckled nervously.

"Okay, um, Sandy and I have been married for almost twenty years. Our son, Seth, is the same age as Ryan. It took some time, but the boys get along really well with each other. Actually, Seth took to Ryan the minute he got here but Ryan needed some time to get used to Seth. I love Seth but he can be quite the chatterbox. It would be an adjustment for anyone." Kirsten noticed Dawn seemed to be absorbing every word she said and she was more than happy to be leaving a positive impression about Ryan's life in Newport. "What else? The boys both go to Harbor High School. It's one of the top schools in the state. Ryan got his first report card roughly two weeks ago and he got mostly B's and a couple of A's in there."

"You're kidding me. I can't believe that. He was flunking most of his classes back in Chino…of course, he was skipping school too."

"No, he's…he's doing really well here. We're very proud of him."

Another awkward silence filled this air. This time Kirsten didn't know what to say to break it. Luckily Dawn managed to come up with something…anything.

"So this is where he eats his breakfast huh?" Dawn managed to spit out while rubbing her hand across the smooth tabletop.

"Actually the boys like to sit over there at the breakfast bar. They usually have bagels or a bowl of cereal. Ryan seems to really enjoy the bagels." Kirsten paused, contemplating whether or not to open the can of worms she was considering. In the end, she gave in.

"Would you like to see Ryan's room?"

Nodding anxiously, "Yes. Could I?"

"Sure. Come on."

Crossing the patio, they entered the pool house. "So, this is it."

"What's it? This entire house he gets?"

"Yes. We include Ryan in everything we do but he still likes his privacy at times so in here he can sleep, do his homework. He's got his own bathroom with a shower back there. He has a small refrigerator behind the counter there but he prefers to come into the house and get something to eat or drink."

"This is really nice. Doesn't he…get into trouble out here though?"

"When he first got here, he snuck out and came home drunk. And he did have a girl in here once."

"Oh my God. He didn't puke on anything, did he?"

"Well, he threw up on the floor by the front door and when I brought him in here, he decided he needed to urinate, but he couldn't stand up by himself so I had to hold him up in the bathroom so he could…go."

"Oh my God." Dawn flushed with embarrassment. "I'm…I'm so sorry."

"Don't be embarrassed. He's sixteen. It's his job to get into trouble. And with his past…"

Dawn stared at Kirsten. "Sounds like…like you're really patient with him."

"Dawn, he's a good kid. He really is."

"You're clearly one of those Moms that really have their act together. I'm…I'm more of a train-wreck. Well, that's what Ryan would say."

Kirsten noticed Dawn was wringing her hands.

"I don't think anyone realizes how hard this is on me," Dawn offered, taking a seat in the infamous warden's chair. "This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life," she sobbed.

Kirsten sat down on the edge of Ryan's bed. She wanted the truth and she was willing to ask for it.

"Dawn, as a Mother to a Mother…why don't you want him?"

The question cut right to the heart of the matter and didn't allow any room for vague answers.

"Truth is, I'm terrified to make him come home…and I'm terrified to let him go," she whispered. "That day all of you came to Chino, when I lost my temper and hit him in front of you…whether I bring him back to Chino or not, I know I've already lost him."

"He just wants what any other kid would want. He wants a home that he feels safe in. He wants a Mom that will take care of him. He's not asking for the world."

"I don't know what I'd do without him. I mean, yeah he's been gone for a while now but I guess I always thought he'd come back home."

"I don't envy the position you're in. It's also a decision I can't make for you. The only thing I can do is assure you that 'if' Ryan were to come live with us permanently, we would treat him the same way we'd treat Seth. We'd see to it that he finished school and that he'd have a future. I can honestly say, on behalf of my entire family, we've grown to love him. We consider him a part of our family. If he did return to Chino, we would make sure he knew he could count on us at any time, for any thing. Our home and our hearts will always be open to him no matter what the court decides. When this thing is over, someone will be unhappy about the outcome. Someone will be upset over losing Ryan. We all just need to remember the goal was to find what's best for Ryan."

Dawn nodded silently. Glancing around the room she took in every nook and cranny, which only upset her more. She could never offer Ryan anything even remotely close to this. Hell, his bed at her house didn't even have a blanket. She'd seen enough.

"You don't have any aspirin in that kitchen of yours, do you? I could really use some."

"Sure. Let's go, I'll get it for you."

Back in the main house Dawn swallowed up the aspirin and sat herself down on the couch in the den. It didn't take long before she found something else that upset her. Leaning forward, she gently picked up a picture frame from the coffee table. Her eyes welled with tears as she took in the photo beyond the glass.

When Kirsten sat down next to her with fresh refills on their coffee, she was surprised to see the photo was so upsetting to Dawn.

"Is…everything okay?" she asked.

Shaking her head, she sobbed again. "You have a picture of him smiling. I'm his Mother and I don't even have a picture of him smiling."

Kirsten glanced at the photo. It was the water balloon photo, all three of the men in her house, dripping wet and smiling from ear to ear. Ryan included.

"I'm sorry to have taken up so much of your time today," Dawn stated abruptly. "I shouldn't have bothered you. I really should get going." Clearly flustered, she attempted to gather her things. With her sobs getting more and more frequent, she rushed through the house to the front door. She turned to say some final words to Kirsten but instead found herself overcome with emotion. To her shock, Kirsten stepped forward and gave her a firm hug. More and more she was starting to understand why Ryan liked it here.

At a loss for words, Kirsten offered a small but sympathetic smile before Dawn hurried out the door.

Now that was an unexpected experience.

Walking back to the den, Kirsten sat down by her cup of coffee and picked up the photo that had sparked so much emotion. Ryan was smiling. Dawn said she didn't have a photo of Ryan smiling. Suddenly the incident Sandy had mentioned from his trip to Chino came to mind. Kirsten could picture the photos strewn across her house and it was beginning to make sense. She was looking for one of Ryan smiling. In her mind, even one photo of him smiling would show maybe she wasn't as bad a Mom as she'd discovered. Kirsten stared at the photo a moment longer and spoke to Ryan out loud…

"Well kid, all we can do is hope she comes to her senses. Sadly, that still leaves everything in the air. Either she'll think you're better off here in Newport and she'll sign your papers. Maybe she'll stop drinking, though probably not, and take you back to Chino."

Kirsten frowned at the later thought. She still thought sending Ryan back to Chino would be an enormous mistake. And, between Sandy's trip to Chino and Dawn's trip to Newport, they were no further along in reaching a decision than they were a month ago.

Looking at Ryan's happy face, Kirsten's heart ached for the boy she'd grown to love. She could only hope and pray the future held something positive for them all.

(TBC)…


	21. Facing the Demons

Bad Behavior Chap 21

Facing the Demons

It had been roughly forty-eight hours since Dawn paid a visit to Newport. Ironically neither Sandy nor Kirsten could seem to sleep a wink once they crossed paths with Ryan's unbelievably, undecided Mother. Sandy remained unsettled since his chat with Dawn led him to the photo of young, abused Ryan. And Kirsten was also having trouble trying to grasp the concept that his Mother wasn't jumping at the chance to take him back. As a Mother, that was beyond her.

It was Monday evening and the kitchen was dead quiet. Sandy and Kirsten sat at the table, both lost in thought. Even the grind of their jobs couldn't take their mind off of Ryan, Dawn's flightiness, and the looming custody hearing. They didn't need to talk. They already knew what the other was feeling.

The silence was shattered when a hysterical Seth burst through the front door.

"MOM! DAD! Get in here! Quick!"

Seth's voice was urgent, almost panicked, and Sandy and Kirsten nearly killed themselves rushing into the living room to find out what the emergency was.

"What? What is it?" Sandy was out of breath, ready for 'anything' when he reached the living room.

"Look! We got a letter from Ryan! The envelope is marked that there's pictures inside!"

"Well don't just stand there! Open it!" Kirsten demanded.

Seth gently ripped the perforated tab, careful to not damage anything inside. Tipping the envelope, out slid Ryan's letter and the photos Gina had given him.

"Let's see the photos first," Sandy urged.

Since there were plenty of photos, they each took a couple and passed them back and forth amongst themselves. Seth was the first to make a comment.

"Oh my God! Ryan is….riding a horse?" he asked bewildered, showing his Mother the photo.

Kirsten gasped when she saw the photo. "Look at him up there. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he knew what he was doing!"

"Look at the smile on his face on this one," Sandy boasted, happily sharing the photo of Ryan playing cards with the other boys. The photo brought a smile to each of their faces. It was soothing to see Ryan enjoying himself.

Flipping through the photos in her hand, Kirsten found one that melted her heart. "Aw, look at this one. He's asleep."

Sandy and Seth each took a turn looking at the sleeping Ryan, before it dawned on Seth he was still holding Ryan's letter.

"Oh! Ryan's letter!" he exclaimed, unfolding the paper.

"Yeah let's see what he wrote," Sandy agreed.

Still standing in the middle of the living room, Seth read Ryan's letter out loud…

_Hey, _

_So I'm sure you've already looked through the pictures. Now you have a better idea of what I've been doing. Don't be fooled though, most of our day is still spent doing chores. The guys I'm playing cards with are my roommates. There is one photo of me in the barn…I knew Gina took that one. I had no idea she took the other ones, but they were good photos. They can show you what goes on around here, better than I could explain it. _

_I got Kirsten's letter. Thanks. It was nice to get that. Most of the guys in my dorm don't hear from their families. They never say anything, but I know how they must feel. To this day, they still brag on the photo of the chocolate cake that was in my suitcase when I first arrived. _

I've been spending a lot of time in the barn with Maggie. We get along better than I expected. I sneak out to see her whenever I can. Gina's never really said anything so I guess she's okay with it.

_By the time you get this letter, I'll only have about 5 days left here. I'm anxious to come home. Even though time is going fast, I wish it would go faster. I miss my own bed. I miss having bagels with Seth and Sandy. I miss Kirsten's 'mothering'. I guess I just really miss home._

_And I guess it's time to wrap this up before it turns into a sad sack letter. This place is worlds better than Juvie, I just wish I were there instead of here. One more week…_

_See you soon, _

_Ryan_

"Poor kid," Sandy offered when Seth finished reading.

"Poor kid?" Kirsten disagreed. "He's getting his groove on in the barn on a regular basis!"

Seth and Sandy gaped at Kirsten as if she were from another planet.

"Oh come on, you heard what he wrote. Who is this girl Maggie? Sneaking off into the barn! I swear he is the most sexually active boy I know."

"Mom…ew!"

"I hope to God he's not doing what I think he's doing. If he wants to come home as bad as he says he does, then he needs to keep it in his pants and stay out of the barn!"

"Honey, don't jump to conclusions. Do you really think Ryan would admit something like that, and in a letter of all places?"

Sighing, "Alright, I'll let it go. But I'm going to ask him who this girl is when we pick him up."

"You guys realize there's only four more days to wait? On the fifth day we have to drive up there and go get him."

Seth's statement served as a rather large reality check. While they were all counting the days until Ryan came home, it seemed to have slipped the minds of the parenting-Cohens that they had to physically go get him and bring him home.

"I need to reschedule my Friday appointments," Sandy observed, quickly contacting his office on his cell phone.

"I need my tablet. Where's my tablet?" Kirsten wondered out loud, striding towards the kitchen.

"Mom you're not going to make more lists are you?" Seth worried, his face wrinkled. He knew the lengths she'd gone to when Ryan came home for only one day…he could only imagine what it would be like when his sentence was over.

Holding Ryan's photos in his hands, Seth stood alone in the living room. "Five more days Dude and then it's gonna be me, you, the playstation and all the bagels you can eat." Seth couldn't help but smile at the photo facing him. He missed Ryan. Knowing better than to keep them for himself, Seth stopped off in the kitchen to gives Ryan's photos to his Mom. "Thank you" managed to escape from her mouth even though she was already lost in another list. Seth nodded and stole away to his room. He, too, had preparing to do for Ryan's return.

Evenings at The Ranch had slowed down a little. Ryan's dorm was off of kitchen duty and he found he had more time on his hands. Time he preferred to spend with Maggie rather than the Cruisers. The Cruisers were good guys, but let's face it…Maggie never asked any questions or drew conclusions. Not to mention, all it took was an apple slice or two to get on her good side.

After Frankie's episode with his Mom, Ryan withdrew a bit from the group. He almost felt…guilty. He knew now that the Cohen's cared about him. He could even go so far as to say they loved him. No one else in his dorm could say that. It made him feel like an outcast for a whole new set of reasons and he cared just enough about his roommates to not throw such a detail in their faces. There wasn't a guy in that room that wasn't battling demons of his own and that was hard enough on some days.

Ryan entered the barn like he did on most nights. All was quiet at this hour. Even the horses seemed to be settling down for the night. Hanging his arms over Maggie's gate got her attention and she walked over to see him. He patted her massive nose for a moment before grabbing a handful of hay for her to snack on.

"You know Mags, if you and your barn-mates didn't smell so bad, I'd sleep out here with you. It must be nice to have some privacy. The guys are nice and all, it's just, I like doing my own thing you know? And I feel funny being the only guy that keeps hearing from their family. Granted, I only got one letter by mail, but Kirsten made up that whole thing in my suitcase. The other guys don't have that. It's too bad you can't talk. You could talk to Judge Whitney and tell her to let me live with the Cohens. That's all I want. It's all I can think about. You know you've only got me for five more days. Then I have to go back to Newport and figure out what's going to happen to me next. Maybe if you keep your hooves crossed for me, maybe I'll have some good luck this time."

When the cluster of hay disappeared, Ryan shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and stared at Maggie.

"I gotta go in Mags. Five a.m. comes awful fast. I'll see you tomorrow." With one last pat on her nose, Ryan turned toward the door.

The next afternoon was particularly warm for late November. Many of the boys, including Ryan, had taken off their shirts while moving the hay bales. Ryan wasn't sure what was worse, sweating like a hog or the itchiness from the hay without the protection of his t-shirt.

When Gina pulled up in her pick-up truck, she signaled to the boys to take a break. Walking up to the truck the boys were thankful to see she'd brought iced bottles of water with her. With each boy grabbing a couple of drinks, they parked themselves under a tree for a few minutes to rest.

"It's weird out here," Antonio said out of the blue. "When we're out here working like this, it's like we're just doing a job. Like we're not really on lock down."

"Yeah but I'd rather be on the outside any day," Marco added.

"No point in being on the outside if you've got nothing to go to," Frankie interjected. The cruisers all looked at him. Knowing his situation, no one was sure what to say after that comment.

"Ryan man, tell us something good about your foster family," Tommy encouraged.

"What? Why?" Ryan asked, feeling rather put on the spot.

"You know, like you told us about the water balloon fight," Frankie added. "Something like that."

"I don't know. Why do you guys want to hear that stuff? Makes me feel like I'm rubbing it in."

"Gives the rest of us hope man," Marco explained.

Ryan furled his brows while he considered that thought. Hope. The Cohens were the ones that gave him hope and now these guys saw Ryan as their lead to hope. He owed them at least that much.

"Truth is, it's not really the grand gestures that got my attention. It was all the little stuff."

"Like what?" Antonio pressed.

Taking a deep breath, "I screwed up plenty when I first got there. I stole things. I snuck out and came home drunk. I skipped school. I got in fights. You name it, I did it. I kept expecting them to break you know? I kept expecting them to say they'd had enough. But they didn't. They'd still tuck me in at night, even when I came home drunk. They always made sure I had breakfast even on the morning Kirsten caught me on top of a girl in my room. One time after I'd run away, I ran into Kirsten on the street and she gave me some money to get some food…she knew I wouldn't go home with her. I was too stubborn. She said if I played my cards right I'd have enough money left to buy a pack of cigarettes. This is a woman that hates cigarettes…they never gave up on me." Ryan paused, mentally considering everything he'd shared before admitting a realization. "I want to be with them more than anything and yet it won't surprise me if I get sent back to Chino. In hindsight, I don't exactly deserve to be with them."

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that," Frankie protested. "They picked you remember? They…picked…you."

Ryan stared blankly at the ground and his mind raced back to the first day he was released from Juvie into Sandy's custody.

"If you want a family, a real family, as bad as the rest of us do and you want to make it up to them…then you know what you've gotta do when you get back home. Am I right?"

Ryan's head tipped up and his eyes shot over to Frankie. He nodded reluctantly.

"Truth is, we all deserve something better Ryan," Marco added. "Difference is, you're one of the lucky ones that actually gets a crack at it."

"Come on boys! Back to work!" Gina called out. "These hay bales aren't going to move themselves!"

Everyone stood up and got back to work, everyone except Ryan. Noticing him still sitting in the shade twisting his water bottle in the grass, Gina walked over and sat down next to him.

"You okay Ryan?"

With barely a nod, he affirmed her question.

"I know sometimes they boys go a little deep. Did they…strike a nerve?"

Ryan shook his head before standing up. "I just want to go home."

"Hang in there honey. You're almost done here."

Ryan stopped just short of his section and he glanced at the other boys. Of everyone around, he was the one that was given the second chance. Whatever the reason was, this time he'd do everything right. This time he would have the life he'd always dreamed of…with Judge Whitney's help of course.

They were down to only three days left before Ryan would be home. The Cohen household was a-buzz with activity. Kirsten's list making had not only reached record levels, but it was starting to rub off on Seth and Sandy as well. It became a joke when they caught themselves adding things to each other's lists or conferring with each other, making sure certain details were on 'someone's' list.

"Good evening everyone."

The flurry of activity came to a screeching halt at the intrusion of an outside voice.

"Dad…Hi…" Kirsten stammered at his unexpected presence. "I thought you were staying in Paris until next month."

"I was supposed to but I was ready to come home Ki Ki. Sanford. There's my grandson," he added throwing an arm around Seth. "So what's all the hub-bub?"

"We're getting ready for Ryan to come home," Kirsten blurted out without thinking, immediately regretting her reply. Seth and Sandy cringed in unison and managed to make a quick disappearance from the room, much to Kirsten's frustration.

"Who the hell is Ryan?" her Father asked, rather perturbed that they would be more excited about this 'Ryan's' homecoming than about his.

"Oh…Ryan…is…he's…he's a long story…which I'll have to tell you some other time. I need to get dinner ordered. How does Mexican sound? I'll order from The Matador."

Without giving her Dad a chance to respond Kirsten quickly left in search of Seth and Sandy. As if it were choreographed, Seth walked back in from the patio door, automatically assuming all issues would be solved already. Instead, he walked right into a direct question.

"So who is this Ryan person?" his Grandfather asked, still trying to get to the bottom of this.

"Ryan? Well Ryan's sort of…it's just that…it's a long story," Seth answered, skirting the question.

"So I've heard."

Caleb frowned at his grandson and wondered what the big secret was. Stepping out onto the patio, he thought he'd give it one more try with Sandy.

"So Sanford, how are things on the homefront?"

Sandy looked at his father-in-law through knowing eyes. "Since when do you care what goes on around here? What do you really want to know Cal?" Sandy had played these sort of mind games with his father-in-law for years, too many years at that, and he could read him like a book.

"Well, who the hell is this Ryan person and don't tell me it's a long story."

"Don't worry Cal, you haven't lost your position as the biggest S.O.B. in Newport. You'll meet Ryan soon enough. Until then, it can wait."

Caleb didn't like that answer either but apparently it was the best he was going to get for today.

Sandy on the other hand looked out over the ocean and smiled to himself. Ryan and Caleb. Now there was a volcano waiting to explode. Sandy could only imagine the sparks that would fly when the two would meet if Caleb didn't behave himself. And the best part was, he knew Ryan could give Caleb a run for his money. It was pathetic to admit, but he was sort of looking forward to that meeting. In the meantime, he'd relish the thought of only having to tolerate three more days before Ryan's return. The anxiety was killing him and he imagined Ryan felt the same way. Watching the waves out in the distance, he wondered what Ryan was doing right at that moment. He wondered if he was thinking of home.

Ryan kept to himself for most of the day following the conversation with his roommates. He was angry with himself for revealing so much. He knew better that to let too many people in. Sitting on the porch by himself he cringed when he heard the screen door open and Gina's greeting as she made her approach.

"Hey Ryan, doing okay out here?"

"I was…"

Sighing, Gina parked herself on the steps much to Ryan's discomfort. He wore his attitude on his sleeve as he glared at her unwelcome company.

"Oh come on now, there's no need for that."

"Maybe to you."

"Ryan we need to talk. There are some things we need to discuss before you leave here."

"Let me save you the trouble. Yes I'm sorry for what I did. Yes, I've changed since I've been here and I won't do it again. When I get out of here I plan to go back to my family and back to school and stay out of trouble. Doesn't that about cover it?"

Biting her lip, it was her turn to stare at Ryan. "You're telling me what you think I want to hear, not what I want to know."

"Same thing," Ryan mumbled, standing up and starting to walk away.

"Ryan…Ryan wait."

Pausing and making his aggravation apparent, Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for Gina to continue rambling.

"Please…sit down at the picnic table with me for just a few minutes."

Against his will, and better judgment, Ryan sat down and clasped his hands between his knees.

"This won't be as bad as you think," Gina encouraged. Ryan only shot another glare back in her direction.

"I need you to be completely honest with me right now Ryan. In another forty-eight hours I will be writing your final report. This report will be an overview of your stay at The Ranch. Everything, good and bad, will be noted. This is the report that Judge Whitney will pay particularly close attention to. If there is anything you want to make sure she knows or understands about you, now is the time to talk about it."

Judge Whitney. Now that was one area that he needed to tread lightly on. Ryan tipped his head up to look at Gina, absorbing her words. "It took me months to reach a point where I trusted the Cohens enough to be honest with them. You're asking me to trust you in less than two weeks."

"My job is not to pass judgment on you boys or to make things harder for you. My job is to do everything I can to help you succeed when you leave here. Part of doing my job relies on information from you. Without it, I'm doing a lot of guesswork and I don't want to do that. I'd rather send you home feeling confident about your future."

Ryan sat quiet for a few minutes wrestling with his own stubbornness. For the first time since Gina came outside, Ryan's scowl left his face.

"People have lied to me most of my life. How do I know you're not lying to me?"

"I don't have a reason to lie to you Ryan. I care about all the boys that come through my doors. If I didn't keep my word to the ones that came before you, I wouldn't still be here. Please let me help you."

Taking a deep breath, Ryan swung his leg over the bench so he was facing Gina. He concentrated on the knots in the wood on the table so he didn't have to look directly at Gina.

"I want to stay with the Cohens. I don't want to go back to Chino. If the judge sends me back to Chino…I'll run again." Ryan raised his head slowly to see Gina's expression to his comment.

"Ryan, running away isn't the answer."

"Neither is sending me back to Chino."

Nodding, Gina could see the determination in his eyes.

"If you have any pull with Judge Whitney…that's all I ask. I want to stay with my foster family."

Nodding again, "Is there anything else you would like to talk about?" Gina asked with anticipation of additional information.

"There's nothing to tell. My life sucked until the Cohens came along. My Dad is serving time in jail for armed robbery, my Mom is an alcoholic and I've been abused most of my life. What's the point of going into details and living it all over again?"

"I understand Ryan. I want you to know that I've extremely proud of you for talking to me today. I know it's hard. I'll make sure to comment to Judge Whitney about your foster family and how much they mean to you. While I can't make her decide one way or another, I have the ability to suggest what I think is the best course of action for your future. If there's anything else you want me to add, just pull me aside and let me know."

Ryan nodded and returned his attention to the knots in the tabletop as Gina stood up.

"I know you guys don't think I understand but I do understand, all too well."

Ryan studied Gina carefully, knowing an explanation was about to follow.

"I lived in the Midwest as a child. We had a lot of land and a barn and a couple of horses. My Father was an alcoholic. It took me a long time to come to terms with the things he put me through, the abuse."

Now she had Ryan's complete attention.

"When I was finally old enough to leave home, I vowed I would never go back…and that I would do everything in my power to help other kids so they wouldn't have to go through what I went through. It took a while, but that's how The Ranch got started. My horses were my best friends. I could tell them anything. They were my escape. I wanted other kids to be able to have that outlet. You understand I'm sure. You and Maggie bonded pretty well." She paused for a moment, noting the shocked look on Ryan's face. "If I could take each and every one of you boys home with me, I would. Nobody deserves to go through what any of us have been through."

Ryan swallowed hard and looked away, the weight of Gina's words pressing down on him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Shaking her head, "Not many of the boys know. In that sense, I'm no different than you are. I don't like to talk about it either, and I only talk about it with people I trust. But, if I'm going to help you, we both have to talk about some of it." Again there was a moment of silence before Gina took a deep breath and asked Ryan an important question. "Ryan…did she hurt you?"

Immediately snapping his head in Gina's direction, Ryan looked at her as if she had violated scared ground, and she knew she had. She noticed his breaths were deep and uneven.

"It's okay Ryan. This is between you and me."

"And Judge Whitney," he added.

"Yes, and Judge Whitney. If we want to ask her to keep you away from your birthmother, we have to give her legitimate reasons why."

Wringing his hands, Ryan's gaze darted all over. Finally he looked out towards the empty parking spaces. Clamping his mouth shut, he nodded slowly.

"Okay. Okay Ryan, you don't have to say anything else. That's good," she soothed, putting her hand over his shaking hands.

"I'm not going back there. I don't care what Judge Whitney decides. I'm not going back there. I'm not going to let her hurt me any more."

Ryan clamped his mouth shut again and his chin shook. Even though he was doing his darnedest to hide his emotions, Gina could tell she had finally tapped into the soul of his issues.

"It's going to be okay Ryan. It's going to be okay."


	22. Anticipation and Release

Bad Behavior Chapter 22

Anticipation and Release

Ryan hadn't slept a wink all night. Every time he thought about the Cohens coming to get him the next day, his heart pounded with anticipation. Rolling over onto his stomach, he stacked his fists one on top of the other and set his chin on the top. The windowsill glowed eerily white from the brightness of the moon outside. Ryan wondered if any of the Cohens were having trouble sleeping. Slightly frustrated with himself, he sat up on his bunk. He knew the fastest way to make tomorrow come was to sleep through the night. Being awake only made minutes feel like hours. In the darkness his mind wandered back to his nights in Juvie, how he would stay awake waiting for the overhead lights to come on. All he had now were crickets outside and Marco's heavy breathing.

When he realized going back to sleep wasn't an option, he got out of bed and padded down the hallway to the bathroom. He snorted a laugh to himself after he flushed the toilet when it dawned on him this was the first time since coming to The Ranch that he didn't have to wait in line to use the bathroom. Splashing some cool water on his face felt good and he decided to go downstairs for something to drink. Maybe he'd ask the night guard if he could watch some TV.

The house was strangely quiet and Ryan made it all the way to the kitchen without running into any of the counselors or the guards. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, he sat down at the table, staring absentmindedly at the design the moonlight made on the table.

"Hey kid, what are you doing up?" one of the guards asked, flicking on the kitchen light.

"I came down for a drink," Ryan answered hoarsely, squinting his eyes against the light and holding up his partially consumed water bottle as proof.

"You sure that's all?" the guard inquired.

Ryan nodded confidently, "Yes sir. My family is coming to take me home in only twelve hours, I am not going to screw that up."

The guard chuckled at Ryan's comment. He wasn't familiar with Ryan, and that was a good thing. That meant he wasn't a troublemaker. He also knew Ryan was not one of the regular late-night-wanderers that he had to keep his eye on.

"Good for you kid. Look I gotta tell your counselor that you're down here. You didn't do anything wrong kid, it's just procedure."

"I understand. Do we have to leave the light on though? You're blinding me."

"Got it," the guard chuckled, flipping the switch off.

Taking a deep breath, Ryan prepared for Gina to make her appearance and in a matter of minutes she'd found her way to the kitchen.

"That didn't take long," Ryan noted.

"Ryan what's wrong? Why aren't you sleeping?"

Shrugging, "I tried…I can't. Tomorrow is a big deal and I just wish it were morning already so I could jump into my chores and make the day go by so it'd be afternoon and my family would be here. This last twelve hours is worse than the whole two weeks."

Gina laughed. "That's what most of the boys tell me. Well try not to stay up too late. You want to be refreshed when your family arrives tomorrow. They're going to want you to show them around and they'll have lots of questions I'm sure. The only thing I ask is that you stay inside the house. No porch and no barn until morning. I realize you find both of those places to be rather soothing, but I don't want any of the guards to misinterpret your intentions and think that you're running. Tomorrow is too important for a misunderstanding like that."

"I'll go back to bed if you think that's best. I don't want to screw this up."

"It's okay, have your drink. Greg? Oh there you are. This is Ryan, he's one of my boys. He's going home tomorrow and he's a bit excited and having a hard time sleeping. He has my permission to stay up and watch some TV for a while. Ryan, if you fall asleep on the couch, just stay there. Morning will come quickly. You'll be up doing chores in a few hours."

"Thanks Gina."

After Gina had gone back to bed, Ryan relocated to the family room and spread out on the couch with the remote in his hand. Since television at that hour was extremely boring, it didn't take long before his eyes felt heavy. The remote slid out of his hand and hit the floor with a 'thud'. Ryan didn't hear a thing. He was out.

"Ryan man, come on! It's your big day! Get up!" Frankie said, with a little too much enthusiasm for five a.m.

"I'm up, I'm up," Ryan whispered trying pry his eyes open. It took a moment for him to figure out exactly where he was and how he got there. When he saw Gina all bright eyed and bushy tailed, he remembered and a smile snuck onto his face. Glancing at his watch, he was pleased to see it was after five a.m., less than eight more hours to go. The lack of sleep didn't faze him in the least. Bounding off the couch, he rushed upstairs to get dressed…Breakfast, then chores, then the Cohens…and then home. He couldn't wait.

In Newport, Casa Cohen was crawling with activity. Seth was happily up and busy by six a.m., which was unheard of under any normal circumstances. He made sure the playstation was all set up and the new games were all lined up and ready to go. He couldn't wait for Ryan to try them out. He had snack bowls lining the coffee table with the packaged snack inside, just waiting to be set free into the serving bowls.

Eight a.m. found Kirsten was standing perplexed in her closet.

"What are you doing?" Sandy asked his wife.

"I don't know what to wear," Kirsten moaned. "I want Ryan to feel relaxed so I thought I should wear something casual, like jeans…but he's lived here long enough to know that I dress up for special occasions and I want him to know that I think today is special so…should I wear a suit? I don't know! I don't know what to wear! God, I should have thought about this yesterday!"

Sandy couldn't help but laugh at his wife's behavior. "Honey, he's going to be happy to see you no matter what you're wearing. Based on what I've seen, the place is very laid back and I feel a suit will make you feel out of place. Besides, this is Ryan we're talking about and he's all about the casual."

"You're right. You're right, Ryan would pick jeans." Grabbing jeans and a sweater Kirsten laid the clothes out on the bed and sat down at the vanity to apply her make-up. "Oh my God, would you look at the black circles under my eyes! Where is my cover up?"

"Boy you're just a mess today aren't you?" Sandy teased.

"Right, as if you actually slept last night…"

Touché. "No. Not a wink," Sandy smiled before bending down to kiss the top of Kirsten's head. "You win. So fix your eyes and put on your jeans, we don't have much time to waste. Ryan's waiting."

Ryan was actually ecstatic that his morning was busier than normal. When things finally slowed down, he realized it was his lunch break. Looking at his watch again revealed the time was twelve-fifteen. Less than three hours and he'd be set free.

Once their half hour lunch break was over, it was now pushing one o'clock. Ryan found himself unable to sit still from the nerves.

"Ryan…" Gina's voice caused him to just about jump out of his skin. He turned to her, almost fearful of what might come out of her mouth. He quickly reminded himself again, at the end of the day, he was still an Atwood. Expect the unexpected. "Ryan, it's almost one o'clock. You should go upstairs and get showered and put some clean clothes on. Then…I need you to pack your things. It's time," she smiled. "When you're finished with all of that, come find me."

"Okay," Ryan nodded.

Racing upstairs, Ryan was sure he'd set a record in the shower. Matter of fact he rinsed off a second time to make sure he got all the soap off. Stepping out of the shower, he toweled off rather quickly and apparently not well enough when his clean t-shirt stuck to his body. Looking at his reflection in the mirror he realized he had a bit of a five o'clock shadow. Kirsten would say he looked 'scruffy'. Wanting to look his best, he took a few minutes to make sure he was clean-shaven before cleaning up his towels and what not from his shower.

Back in his dorm, Ryan pulled out his suitcase and emptied his dresser drawers of all his belongings. He tried to put things neatly in the suitcase but it wasn't happening. He didn't care. He just wanted it all packed.

It was two-fifteen when he checked the time again. Remembering he was supposed to go see Gina, he scurried down the stairs to her office. Knocking on the doorframe before he entered, "I'm done. You wanted to see me?"

"Ryan, yes, please come in. Why don't you close the door? Don't panic, it's just because this is a private conversation."

Nodding Ryan closed the door and then took a seat.

"So this is it. How do you feel?"

Ryan thought about the question for a moment. "I don't know. I guess I feel a little bit of everything right now."

"Like what?"

"Happy that I get to go home, guilty that the other guys aren't getting the same opportunity with a new family, terrified that Judge Whitney will send me back to Chino."

"That's understandable. You've been through an awful lot. You're one of the strongest boys I've seen come through here in a long time Ryan. I have no doubt in my mind that you will succeed at anything you put your mind to. I want you to concentrate on the positive when you leave here. No matter what gets in your way, I know you have it in you to overcome it. I'm extremely proud of the time you put in here. You did all of your chores, you got along with the other boys and you took great care of Maggie for me. You should be very proud of yourself." Standing up behind her desk, she extended her hand to Ryan. "It's been a pleasure having you at The Ranch Ryan. I know some of the other boys have learned things from you, and I hope you learned a few things during your stay here as well. I'm going to miss you," she smiled. "Since I know guys don't like tearful goodbyes, let's quit before we get too mushy and let's make sure you aren't forgetting anything."

With a nervous laugh shared between them, they stepped out into the hallway where Ryan heard a car door slam, followed by two more.

Peeking through the curtains in the foyer, "They're here!" he exclaimed, glancing down at his watch. "They're early though. That's them, they're here!" He looked to Gina, holding his breath for her reply.

"Well then you better get out there and greet your family or they're going to think you want to stay!"

A genuine smile consumed Ryan's face as he yanked the door open. Hesitating briefly, "Gina…thanks. For everything."

"Any time sweetheart." Gina's eyes puddled up as she watched Ryan turn and bound down the steps towards the parking area.

"Hey guys!" Ryan's smile beamed as he approached the Cohens.

"Oh! Ryan! Oh honey!" Kirsten was the first to throw her arms around him. Ryan welcomed the embrace and squeezed her back just as hard. "Oh sweetie, look how tan you are. Let me see you!"

"His tan? Look at his arms!" Seth joked, giving Ryan a hug. "How the hell is it possible that you're muscles are even bigger?"

"Chores man. That's all I've been doing it lifting stuff," Ryan explained.

"Well hey, I don't want to be left out," Sandy added, giving Ryan a hug. "Do you have any idea how much we've missed you? We were going nuts this past two weeks."

"That's good to hear," Ryan admitted freely.

"Mr. Cohen…"

"Ah, Gina. I'd like you to meet the rest of our family. This is my wife Kirsten, and my other son Seth."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both. I really glad all of you came up to get Ryan. This is a special day for him and it's nice to see his family around him like this."

"Can I show them around?" Ryan asked.

"Absolutely. Just warn them about Frankie so he doesn't scare them," Gina chuckled.

Walking through the main house, Ryan showed them his dorm among other rooms and talked about his schedule for the day. Sandy and Kirsten could both see a calmness, or maybe even a confidence, in Ryan that wasn't there before. It was obvious The Ranch agreed with him. It was easy to see, for the most part, he was comfortable there.

Near the fenced arenas, Ryan explained about hauling the bags of feed and the hay. It was about this time that Kirsten drew her attention to the barn.

"Soooo, that's the barn," Kirsten observed. "The barn where you snuck off to be with Maggie all the time."

Ryan quickly shot a look at Gina, who seemed indifferent by Kirsten's comment.

"I really hope you didn't do anything…I hope you were a gentleman with Maggie," Kirsten eluded, skirting the obvious.

Ryan's face went blank with confusion, while Gina's face lit up with a smile. To her, the misunderstanding was obvious.

"Ryan, why don't you see if Maggie is available? Check in the barn. Have her come out here to meet your family." Winking at Ryan, Gina continued to smile.

Finally catching on, Ryan nodded but kept a straight face. "I'll be right back."

They all watched Ryan trot over to the barn door and slide it open. Once he was out of sight, Kirsten felt the need to offer some of her parental apologies.

"Gina, I hope Ryan…I hope he didn't do…anything…truth is he's um, he rather active…with…the ladies…if you know what I mean."

Gina let a knowing laugh escape before enjoying the chance to add some hype to the situation. "Well, yes, I can see that Ryan has a way with the girls, I mean Maggie seemed to fall for him hook, line and sinker. He did make a point of spending most, if not all, of his free time with Maggie. And while they were alone in the barn quite often…well, the boys aren't aware of this but, the entire facility is monitored by security cameras. There isn't anything that goes on that we don't find out about."

"Oh my God," Kirsten muttered, blushing with embarrassment. "If he did anything inappropriate…"

"I can tell you there was an awful lot of touching and petting going on in the barn."

"Oh my God," Sandy seconded Kirsten's panic, suddenly wondering if Kirsten was correct in her assumption about Maggie.

"Ryan really respects Maggie," Gina continued. "They bonded from the minute they met. Not only has Ryan been a complete gentleman, he's been very tender and caring where she's concerned," Gina beamed. "I'm sure we can all agree, that's a side of Ryan we don't get to see very often, but Maggie knows how to bring it out of him."

"Tender and caring?" Seth asked, rather amused. "Are you sure you've got the right Ryan?"

Before Gina could offer any further explanation, Ryan came through the barn door with a very large animal in tow. Gina smiled at Ryan while the mouths of every Cohen dropped wide open.

"Um…um…Ryan…Ryan that's a horse," Seth stammered. "A very, very big…big, big horse."

Ryan's eyes danced and his face lit up with a smile after he brought the beast to a halt in front of his family. He laughed when he noticed Kirsten peaking out from behind Sandy.

"So let's but an end to all the rumors," Ryan grinned. "This is Maggie. Maggie, that's my family."

The horse shook its mane as if to say 'hello'.

"THAT'S Maggie?" Kirsten asked, bewildered. "Honey, that's a really, really…REALLY big detail that you left out of your letter!"

Laughing, "Sorry. You know I'm not good with words."

"She's beautiful," Sandy said, stretching his arm to pat Maggie's nose. "You really know how to handle this horse Ryan? She's huge!"

"Yeah I do. Gina's got this 'sink or swim' method of training and Maggie knows all the routines forwards and backwards. By my second day here I was at least faking like I knew what I was doing," he smiled.

"Oh don't let him fool you," Gina interrupted. "He was terrified when he first met Maggie but I only had to show him how to do things once. He was a natural. Must've been a cowboy in another life. Go ahead Ryan. Climb up there and show them a couple things."

"Yeah sure." Jumping up on Maggie as if it were no big deal, Ryan took her in the arena and did a few simple turns and commands. The Cohens were impressed with his performance.

Jumping down he walked her back over to the gate just as Frankie was walking up with Tattoo.

"Hey Ryan, so this is it huh?" Frankie asked, halting his horse.

"Yeah I guess so. Frankie this is my foster family, the Cohens. This is Frankie, he's one of the Cruisers."

One by one, handshakes and greetings were exchanged. Frankie was impressed by the turnout at Ryan's release. He could only dream of such a thing on his last day at The Ranch.

"So Ryan, got time for one more race before you go?"

Ryan curled his lips into a Grinch-like smile, "You just want me to kick your ass one more time before I leave."

Laughing, "Call it what you want man, I almost got you that last time! Come on man. Gina does he have time for one more?"

"It's up to him," Gina answered with Frankie turning back to Ryan and waiting for an answer.

"All right, one more."

"Yes! Hey Cohens, wait until you see this guy ride man! He's unbelievable."

Walking their horses past the arenas and out to the clearing, each boy mounted their horse as Gina stepped out in front of them.

"Okay boys, this is for all the bragging rights. It's down to the barrels and back." The horses danced in their places anticipating the run. "Ready! Set? GO!"

With the drop of her hands, the boys took off across the field, their hair plastered to their heads in a show of speed and power.

"Oh my God," Kirsten mumbled, clutching her purse with worry while Seth and Sandy were cheering Ryan and Maggie on at the top of their lungs.

Before they knew it, the boys had rounded the barrels and were on their way back. Gina had walked several paces out into the field in order to make a finish line and still give the boys enough room to stop. As they flew past her, "Time!" she yelled.

Both boys came to a stop almost as out of breath as their horses were.

"Damn Atwood! You showing out in front of your family? Man you were flying!"

"Last one," Ryan panted. "Had to make it count."

"Ryan, that was incredible!" Seth boasted.

"Amazing! You really do know what you're doing!" Sandy added.

"Scary," Kirsten added laughing while everyone looked at her. "Come on now, I'm a Mom. I was very impressed with his ride but I like my boys with all their limbs intact, that's all!"

Dismounting their horses, the boys walked them back to the barn while Gina and the Cohens waited at the picnic table. After Frankie had locked up Tattoo and left the barn, Ryan looked around to see if he and Maggie were alone. When he noticed they were, he took a moment to say good-bye.

"So this is it Mags. I'm leaving. I'm actually going to miss you. I should say thanks, you know, for listening to me ramble all the time. You made my stay here a lot easier. I hope the other guys that take care of you are good to you. If their not, call me and come back and I'll break their legs," Ryan laughed nervously while Maggie stomped her foot as if to second his 'squash them like a bug' theory.

Reaching down, Ryan pulled a tuft of hay and fed it to Maggie. When she finished chewing, she bent her head down and pressed it against Ryan's chest. The gesture not only stunned Ryan, but also broke all his boundaries and brought tears to his eyes.

"I didn't know horses could give hugs," he whispered, stroking Maggie's neck momentarily before she slowly raised her head. "You taught me a lot of things Mags. Most importantly, sometimes you just gotta trust the people, or the horse, that want to help you. You're just like the Cohens. All of you believed in me before I believed in me. Thanks Maggie. You're a good girl. Take care of yourself." With a few last strokes on her nose, Ryan backed away giving a weak smile to the horse. "I'll see you around."

Wiping his eyes, he turned and walked out of the barn without looking back.

(TBC)…

Not my best chapter but we had to get Ryan off The Ranch and prepared for (gasp) Judge Whitney, more Dawn, and Caleb: D More to come soon: D


	23. Speaking Up and Being Heard

Bad Behavior Chapter 23

Speaking Up and Being Heard

Rolling over Ryan snuggled against his pillow absorbing the scent of fabric softener. He allowed his eyes to open and slowly scan across part of the room before they zoned in on a cluster of new picture frames on the wall. He hadn't noticed them when he came home last night. Propping himself up on his elbows, he studied the photos. The photo of Seth, Sandy and Ryan from the water balloon fight had been framed as well as some of the photos he'd sent from The Ranch. Two photos of Ryan and Maggie were on the wall as well as the one playing cards with the Cruisers. Ryan smiled at the frames. The Cohens took the time to immortalize some of the happier moments in his life. That was something a real parent would do. It was no different than saving school papers or artwork, or displaying trophies. The photos marked a milestone in Ryan's life. As hard as the last several weeks had been, somewhere in there he came to terms with himself and his life, and he learned how to be happy again.

Rolling onto his back he pulled the covers up to his chin. His mind was consumed and yet he focused on nothing in particular. The click of the door however, drew his attention across the room.

"Morning Ryan," Kirsten greeted. "Well don't you look snug as a bug?"

Ryan just snorted a laugh and smiled.

"I bet it felt good to sleep in huh?"

"You have no idea."

"Well, whenever you're ready there's all sorts of good things for breakfast in the kitchen. I'm also trying to keep Seth out of here as long as I can but it's getting hard to hold him off so, just be warned."

Sharing a smile, Kirsten turned to leave, but Ryan stopped her.

"Kirsten?" he paused, waiting for her to look at him. "Thanks …for not giving up on me."

Moved by Ryan's comment, Kirsten tipped her head to the side before stepping back up to his bed and leaning down to kiss his forehead. "We'll never give up on you. You mean too much to us. I'll see you inside for breakfast."

Turning his head against his pillow, Ryan watched Kirsten walk out, leaving his door open and allowing the ocean breeze in. This is what it meant to be home.

Later that afternoon, Ryan paced the foyer by the front door waiting for the rest of the Cohens to come downstairs. He paused at the mirror and eyed his reflection. His new dress shirt fit him nicely and gave him a very 'responsible' look. He was surprised Kirsten wasn't insisting that he wear a suit today. After all, he was making his post sentencing appearance in front of Judge Whitney in only an hour.

Giving in to his indecision, he headed upstairs. Sandy was nowhere to be found and Seth's room turned up empty as well. Stepping into his foster parent's bedroom, he heard Kirsten humming in the bathroom behind a partially closed door.

"Kirsten?" he called, tentatively.

"I'll be right out Ryan. I'm just putting my jewelry on."

"You sure I don't have to wear a suit today?"

"Ryan, you hate wearing suits."

"I know, but Judge Whitney hates me even more."

Kirsten walked out of the bathroom still fumbling with one of her earrings. "Oh don't say that. She's a judge. She's not there to make friends. I think you look very nice. Today is just a formality Ryan. All she's going to do is acknowledge that you served your time and close the case. When we go for your custody hearing next week…that's when I think you should wear a suit."

Nodding, Ryan turned his head and frowned at what his eyes located across the room. Striding towards Kirsten's nightstand, he stared at the framed photo of Seth and his Grandma. The same photo he noticed when he was searching for cigarettes in that room. This time he noticed a photo laying in front of it. Picking up the photo, he sat down on Kirsten's bed.

Knowing it wasn't like Ryan to hang out in her bedroom, the action got her attention. "You okay Ryan?"

"Where did you get this?"

As she got closer to Ryan, she saw the photo and cringed. She meant to put it away before he came home. When she sat down on the bed next to Ryan, he looked at her, his forehead creased with what appeared to be anger.

"Well, there's a little story behind that picture. Remember before you went to The Ranch, you asked me to talk to Sandy about helping you fight to stay here?"

Ryan nodded.

"I talked to him right when he returned and he agreed that he would do everything in his power to help you. As part of that, he went to Chino to see your Mom."

"He did?" Ryan asked, his eyebrows relaxing for the first time since he sat down.

"Uh huh. When he got there, your Mom let him in so they could talk. He said there were photos all over the place, like she'd thrown them or something. He bent down and picked one up…that one. Their conversation was short and before he knew it, he'd left, but he still had the photo in his hand so he kept it."

"What did my Mom say to him?" Ryan asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer that would follow.

"At that time, she was still pretty steadfast in hanging onto you." Kirsten watched Ryan's eyes close and his body slump in disappointment. "But I'm not so sure she still feels that way."

Ryan opened his eyes and stared at nothing in particular, waiting for more information.

"She came here Ryan. She came here to talk to me."

The crease in Ryan's forehead returned in an instant. "What the hell was she doing here? If she threatened you…"

"No, no, no. It's nothing like that. She said 'if' she were to sign the papers, she wanted to see where you'd be living. I let her see part of the house, and your room. I told her about the school you go to. And…we sat down in the den and that's where I think she may have had a change of heart. I had the photo of you and Seth and Sandy on the coffee table, the one with all three of you smiling. She said she doesn't have a picture of you smiling. I think that photo was a bit of a reality check for her. She knows now that you're happy here."

The room fell silent while Ryan's mind raced forward. Turning his attention back to the old photo of himself, he wished he could have been a fly on the wall to see his mother's expression when she saw the photo of him happy.

"Why did you keep this photo? Look how I look," Ryan said, disappointed in the memory he held in his hand.

"Because that photo makes me want to work harder and harder every day to change where your future is going. I want better things for your future. You deserve it. Besides, I do think you look cute in the Batman jammies," she chuckled.

"I got that black eye for eating cookies," Ryan offered, missing Kirsten's joke and still engrossed in the photo. "She wanted to teach me a lesson for getting into the cookie jar so she smacked me and then she smashed the jar on the floor."

"I'm sorry Ryan. The difference is…you're a man now. You can speak for yourself, think for yourself…stand up for yourself. The little boy in that picture didn't have the choices you do."

Listening, Ryan nodded again. "You're right."

"We're going to get through this Ryan, you'll see."

Outside the door to the courtroom, the butterflies in Ryan's stomach felt like they were dive-bombing all his internal organs.

"Atwood, Ryan!" the Bailiff called. "The Judge will see you now."

Taking a deep breath, they all entered the courtroom. Seth and Kirsten took a seat in the second row while Sandy and Ryan entered the first bench. Before sitting down, something in the seats caught Ryan's eye and it sent his stomach into a somersault. Sitting down quickly, Sandy immediately noticed he was agitated.

"Ryan, calm down. I promise today is just a formality, there's nothing to worry about today."

"My Mom is here," Ryan growled through clenched teeth.

"What!" Sandy panicked, frantically searching the courtroom seats before locating his Mother.

"I swear to God, if she makes a scene…"

"Alright son, calm down. Come on, calm down. Even your Mom should know it would be suicide to pull any stunts in front of the Judge, especially this one. I want you to concentrate on Judge Whitney, pay attention to her and answer all of her questions. Whatever your Mom is doing here, it will wait until after your hearing."

Nodding slowly, it was clear Ryan was still very much irritated with his Mom's presence.

"Let's begin, shall we?" Judge Whitney initiated. "Ryan Atwood, please step forward."

"I'll be right here Ryan. Talk to the Judge," Sandy encouraged before Ryan rose and stood before the Judge.

"Mr…Atwood…," she started, shuffling some papers before her. "I must admit I'm rather impressed with the reports I received from your counselor at The Ranch. I wasn't sure you could do it, but you did. There is one item of concern that came over in your report though."

Ryan felt his stomach knot instantaneously.

"Where is it?" the Judge mumbled to herself, scanning the document in front of her. "Ah yes, it says here, 'no matter what Judge Whitney decides, I'm not going back to Chino.' Did you say that?" she questioned in a reprimanding tone while looking at Ryan over the rim of her glasses.

Ryan's body went rigid, his mouth dropped open and his eyes trailed to the right side of the courtroom where his Mother was sitting.

"Mr. Atwood, I asked you a question."

"Pay attention Ryan," Sandy whispered to himself.

Snapping his eyes back to the Judge. "Yes Ma'am. I said that."

Sitting back in her chair, the Judge glared at Ryan. "Young man, I do not appreciate that comment in the least."

"Ma'am, the comment wasn't aimed at you…it was aimed…at my Mom."

"Does you're Mother know you don't want to come home?"

Ryan could feel himself drowning. "She does now. She's here today."

"Oh my God," Kirsten whispered, feeling Ryan's desperation.

"Now that's interesting. Mrs. Atwood, come forward and stand next to your son."

Ryan cringed. So much for concentrating on the Judge, and so much for there not being a scene.

Dawn was equally horrified at the Judge's request. She'd taken a seat in the back for a reason. Attempting to straighten her shirt, she made her way to the front of the court next to Ryan, who only shot her his best warning look after the scent of alcohol wafted past him.

"Mrs. Atwood, the custody case regarding your son isn't until one week from today but I feel there are a few things we should discuss briefly today so this can be resolved at the next hearing. Are you aware of the fact that your son doesn't want to come home?"

"Well…I…yes. He mentioned something about…maybe staying with his foster family."

The Judge tipped her head down and glared at Dawn over the rims of her glasses. "I detect a bit of a slur in your voice Mrs. Atwood. Please tell me you did not come to my courtroom under the influence."

Dawn's mind raced to find the right words. "I only came to see my son. I wasn't expecting to speak with anyone today."

"Neither was I," Ryan mumbled sideways to his Mom.

Judge Whitney was not amused. "You better make damn sure you're dry as a bone at the next hearing Mrs. Atwood or it could have serious, permanent repercussions on the outcome of the custody case regarding your son. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," Dawn choked.

"Mr. Atwood, is there anything you want to tell me about the comment you made?" the Judge pressured.

This was it. It was now or never…and Ryan chose to jump in with both feet and both barrels cocked. "She's an alcoholic. I've been around it all my life and I've been abused all my life. Thing is…I'm finally old enough to say I'm not going to take it anymore. And I'm not…going to take it anymore," he emphasized, glaring at his mother, before looking back to Judge Whitney. "I want a better life…and I deserve a better life. You're going to do whatever you feel you have to do next week…and depending on your decision, so am I. I will not…live in that hell any more."

"That's it, good boy Ryan," Kirsten whispered to herself, slapping Seth's leg.

The Judge tapped her pen on Ryan's file. "How do I know you won't go down the same path, even if I keep you in Newport?"

"I've kept every promised I've made since I came here," Ryan said confidently. "I promised you and others I'd behave at The Ranch…I did. After making one mistake, I promised the Cohens I wouldn't run away again, I didn't run any more. I promised them I'd go to school, you saw my records, the school wouldn't lie for a kid like me."

"And what about your Mother?" the Judge asked flatly.

"What about her?" Ryan asked sarcastically, irritated that anyone could have such concern for a person who ruined most of his life. "Look at her. She wanted to see me today so she comes to one of my hearings, unannounced…and half lit." Turning to his Mom, "Do you have any idea how important today is? Do you have any idea what I've gone through to get to this point? The fact that I'm standing here, trying to impress one of the toughest Judges in the circuit so she'll close this case, only to have you show up, drunk as usual…what is it going to take before you realize you're destroying me?"

The words severed Dawn's heart and the tears fell like rain. Fighting between her and her son was nothing new, but these weren't fighting words. These were feelings. Something Ryan had only started expressing since he left home. Doing her best to contain her emotions and stay quiet, Dawn thanked the bailiff who offered her some Kleenex.

Ryan was also going through a gambit of emotions, with anger pulling the most weight. He turned his head away from his Mother with disgust and yet there was a fear in him about seeing Judge Whitney's reaction to this whole scene.

Judge Whitney drank in the scene before her, finally getting the full story behind Ryan's troubled past. Notes were scribbled into Ryan's file before she closed it and for the first time, she offered Ryan a softer face in her courtroom.

"Mr. Atwood, I can see now why you made the comment that you did. I assure you, I will take today's statement into consideration, along with all your progress reports, before making any decisions regarding your custody case."

"Thank you," Ryan answered, knowing full well Judge Whitney was about to unleash her wrath on his Mom.

"Now…Mrs. Atwood…you already know how I feel about your current condition in my courtroom, do not let that happen again. At this time I need to make sure you understand something very important. Your son is old enough to fight for the decision he wants and from where I'm sitting, he doesn't want to be anywhere near you. Quite frankly, I share his intolerance with your inebriated appearance today. I suggest you stay sober for a while and do some serious soul searching prior to next week's hearing as to what's best for your son."

The Judge's words pushed Dawn farther into despair. It now appeared Ryan had another person, a powerful person, backing his decision.

"Ryan Atwood, the court hereby acknowledges your time served. The case on this matter is closed. You've shown great effort in making strides in the right direction. I strongly hope that you keep this new head on your shoulders so that your life continues in a positive direction. Court is adjourned."

Ryan nodded at the Judge before quickly turning away from his Mom and taking his place with the Cohens.

"Get me the hell out of here," he pleaded impatiently.

"Easy Ryan," Sandy soothed. "Kirsten, why don't you and the boys head to the car? I'll handle this."

"Sure. Come on guys. Let's go outside and get some air."

Without looking back, Ryan led the way out the courtroom. Sandy on the other hand took a deep breath and prepared for another interaction with the ever-challenging Dawn. Sure enough, she sauntered up to Sandy, immediately putting her hands up in surrender. Now he knew where Ryan got it from.

"Sandy."

"Dawn."

Wiping the tears from her eyes. "I guess I finally screwed up beyond words this time, huh?"

"Dawn, I honestly don't know what you were thinking when you showed up here today. Today was very important for Ryan. Had something gone wrong today…I can't even think about the problems it could have caused him."

"I didn't mean for all of this to happen today," she sniffled. "I just wanted to see him. He really hates me."

"He was angry with your choice to be here today. This was a stressful hearing for him. Judge Whitney is really tough on kids and she expects a lot from them."

"No. He really hates me. He's just never had the balls to say it to my face until today. I think I've known it for a long time. I just didn't want to believe it. But there was no denying what he wanted to get across today."

Sandy stood quietly by, watching Dawn's world fall apart right in front of him. What do you say to another parent when their child doesn't want to be their child any more…and you're the one that's taking their child away? There are no words.

"What are you going to do?" Sandy finally asked as a last resort.

"I don't know," Dawn admitted. "Part of me feels he should come home, I am his Mother regardless of what I am. Part of me is so hurt I just want to turn him loose, be done with him and all his problems. He's not as perfect as he thinks he is."

"Sure," Sandy pursed his lips sarcastically. "Both very motherly and responsible reasons for either forcing him into a dead end life that he knows he doesn't want, or tossing him aside like yesterday's newspaper."

Dawn raised her eyes to Sandy, his tone spoke volumes by itself.

"I gotta be honest with you, this is the exact attitude that makes me sick to my stomach, knowing the court could very well say he has to be returned to you, only because you're his Birth Mother, when I know my family and I would give him a future he could not only flourish in, but be proud of. We want him to succeed. What's the point in having a child if your only goal is to hold him back? My wife is a Mother…you're a Mother…for the life of me, I can't figure out how the two of you could be so completely different and yet fall into the same category."

Sandy could feel his blood pressure rising, not to mention he knew his voice was getting louder. It was time to end this.

"We'll see you next week at the hearing." Turning on his heel, Sandy grabbed his briefcase and walked out of the courtroom, leaving a world of words behind for Dawn to absorb.

With the wind blowing his hair back, Ryan let his legs hang over the edge of the pier and he hung his arms lazily over the railing. The one place that used to offer him comfort wasn't cutting it now. The meeting with his Mother had completely drained him. In his heart of hearts he knew this was going to end badly. He knew her better than anyone because he knew what she was capable of. She'd make him come home just to get even with him for embarrassing her in court today. Ryan stared at the waves wishing they'd drown his thoughts for a while. To his surprise, relief came in the form of a chatty misfit rather than sea foam.

"Hey man," Seth intruded. "Mind if I sit down?"

"Go ahead."

Plopping himself down, Seth was surprised by Ryan's defeated mood and knew he had to tread lightly. The hearing, although it had a happy ending, had been a nightmare for Ryan.

"Is there anything I can do?" Seth offered.

"Know any hit men?" Ryan said dryly.

Seth's head turned slowly and searched Ryan's face for the level of seriousness behind that comment.

"Kidding," Ryan admitted to Seth's relief.

"I'm sorry about what happened today man. No one saw that coming."

"I can't believe she showed up. What the hell was she thinking?" Ryan raged, still stewing about the afternoon's events.

All Seth could do was shake his head and shrug his shoulders while Ryan stared at him, hoping for an answer. It didn't take long before they were both staring at the waves in an awkward silence. Finally Seth found the courage to ask something that was eating at him.

"So, what do you think the Judge thought, about what you said? Think maybe she'll pull for your side now?"

Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. At this point I don't really care."

"Come on man, don't say that. It just might work ou…"

"I'm going to get sent back to Chino Seth," Ryan interrupted. "You may not see it, your parents may not see it…but I know it." Taking a deep breath, Ryan glared at the setting sun.

"But what about the drinking and the Judge's warning?"

Shaking his head impatiently, "Seth, I learned how to be sneaky and conniving mostly because of her. All she's got to do is join AA, bring that paperwork to court next week and manage to stay sober for just one morning and the court will say she's making an effort and they'll send me to live with her. She's an Atwood. She's not going down without a fight."

Squirming in the wake of this new information, Seth could feel the world around him getting smaller and smaller with every passing second. Ryan was his outlet, his escape. If he went back to Chino, Seth would go back to being nonexistent.

"Well, for the record, I hope you're wrong," Seth stammered. "Because I'd really like it if you could stay." Avoiding eye contact with Ryan, Seth was more than aware that Ryan was sizing him up.

Turning his attention back to the ocean, "Me too."

(TBC)

A/N – So thanks for all the great reviews on the previous chapter! (The one I said wasn't my best work)! Man, I poked and tweaked and deleted and added so many times to that chapter, I finally closed my eyes and hit the SEND button! I'm glad to know in the end it all made sense! LOL! I found some spelling "glops" after the fact…sorry about that! That's what I get for messing with it so much!

I'm also sorry for the delay in this last chapter. I've had some complications and I have to let everyone know…sadly…Baby Chino has gone back to heaven for the time being. He/she just wasn't ready for the great big world. It happens. Don't fret though, I'm doing fine under the circumstances and will work on another Baby Chino as soon as the doctor gives us the 'okay'. I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason. The good news is I was actually pregnant in the first place which we didn't even think was possible at this point! There is hope in all this mess after all! And, look at the bright side…I've been on bed rest for the last three days…I managed to get almost 3 more chapters written: D (Gotta keep your chin up!): D Thanks everyone for all your well wishes and support!

Happy Easter to one and all!

Super Chino


	24. Knocking Heads

Bad Behavior 24

Knocking Heads

Trekking through the house for his morning cup of java, Sandy was stopped at the kitchen doorway by the sight lurking at the kitchen table.

"Are you in the right house? This is my house isn't it?" Sandy asked glancing down at his watch.

"Very funny Sanford. I'm waiting for Ki Ki," his father-in-law growled. "She's got some paperwork that I need and then I'll be on my way."

"Good to know," Sandy mumbled, slipping away from the kitchen for a moment to locate his wife. The sooner his father-in-law was on his way out, the sooner Sandy could enjoy his weekend with his family.

It didn't take long before Caleb's quiet time with the morning paper was interrupted for a second time. The patio door swung open and a young man in dark blue work pants and a tank top strolled in, flicking his eyebrows at Caleb before moving across the kitchen to the refrigerator. The boy helped himself to the carton of orange juice, filling a tall glass for himself and just as he was about to reach for a bagel, the stranger spoke.

"Excuse me, you're responsible for your own meals. We don't feed the help. You work for us, not the other way around. I'll allow you to finish that orange juice but then you better get back to work if you want to get paid."

Just outside the kitchen doorway, a returning Sandy sat glued to the wall, eavesdropping on the conversation. This was gonna be good.

Dropping his hand to the counter, Ryan narrowed his eyes at the stranger. "Who the hell are you?"

"Who the hell am I? Are you insane?"

"Apparently," Ryan mumbled reaching for a bagel.

"Look boy, you're really trying my patience."

"'A'…I'm not your boy. And 'B', I don't work for you so why don't you just cool your jets old man."

"Old…man!" Caleb fumed.

"Don't call me boy, I won't call you old," Ryan pushed pouring more orange juice into his glass.

Caleb sat at the table stewing in his own juices and frowning at the difficult 'boy' standing behind the counter. Who was this kid? And why was here even here?

Meanwhile in the hallway, Sandy was smiling from ear to ear, enjoying the drama going on in the next room. His bubble nearly burst though when Kirsten walked up and caught him having too much of a good time.

"Sandy, what are you doing?"

"Shhh! Ryan and Caleb are going at it in the kitchen," Sandy whispered.

Gasping, "We can't let my Dad talk to Ryan alone," she warned attempting to move past Sandy.

"No, no, no. Ryan's got this. You've got to hear this."

"Look young man," Caleb vented, his tone making his frustration more than obvious. "I don't know where you came from, but I'm not someone to be trifled with."

Raising only his eyes up from the counter, Ryan scowled at Caleb. "Neither am I."

The comment set Caleb back. No one stood up to him, ever. Well, there was Sandy of course, but if it weren't for the arguing, they'd have no relationship at all.

"Alright," Caleb said, rising from the table. "We've obviously, gotten off on the wrong foot. Maybe we should try this again."

Ryan's glare persisted.

"I'm Caleb Nichol. I'm Kirsten's Father," he explained offering a handshake that Ryan refused to accept. Pulling his hand back he stared at the boy whose look was cold and calculating. Clearly his first impression was a lasting one and a simple handshake wasn't going to erase it any time soon.

"I find it hard to believe that you and Kirsten are cut from the same cloth," Ryan antagonized, holding his ground.

"Ooooh boy," Kirsten moaned from behind Sandy.

"Have faith Honey, Ryan's got Caleb second-guessing everything about himself right now."

"Yes, well, Kirsten…Kirsten is a little softer than me."

"Clearly." Scrunching up his napkin and tossing it in the trash, Ryan grabbed his glass of O.J. from the counter and headed back to the patio door.

"Wait," Caleb called after him. "Who did you say you were?"

"I didn't."

The confused look on the old man's face told Ryan he'd defeated him, at least this time. Sighing loudly, Ryan leaned on the door handle.

"I'm Ryan. I live here, at least, for this week."

"You're Ryan?" Caleb answered, shocked at the realization. "So you're the long story?"

"You have no idea," Ryan said flatly before passing through the patio door and letting it slam behind him.

Caleb watched through the windows as Ryan hurried up the steps and into the pool house.

Sandy looked at his wife, rubbed his palms together and stuck out his tongue in mischievous fashion.

"Sandy…Sandy no. Don't you dare! Sandy!" Kirsten shouted in a whisper, but it was too late. It was going to be a long morning.

"So Cal, I see you've met Ryan," Sandy poked.

Caleb only stood in the kitchen looking back and forth between Sandy and the pool house. "Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on? Who is this kid and what is he doing here? More importantly when is he leaving?"

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," Sandy egged on, enjoying every minute of it. "The good news is he really is a great kid. You got off to a bad start with him by basically calling him hired help. Maybe he'll warm up to you in time…then again, other than Kirsten I really don't know anyone that's really all that warm and fuzzy around you Cal."

" Enough with the jokes Sanford. So what's the bad news?"

Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a look before jumping into tag team event to bring Caleb up to speed.

"Well, let's see," Kirsten began. "We brought Ryan here straight from a Juvenile Correction Center in Chino…"

"He's a hoodlum? A delinquent?" Caleb squawked.

"He had served some time for getting caught stealing a car," Sandy added.

"Right," Kirsten agreed, embracing her cup of coffee with both hands. "But it wasn't his first car. He's stolen about four of them but only got caught with the last one."

"That's right. So we brought him home and at first he was not at all happy about being here," Sandy continued in a mocking manner. "He'd sneak out and come home drunk. That one night he threw up in the foyer when he got home…"

"Uh huh. That was the same night I had to hold him up in front of the toilet in the pool house so he could pee."

"He urinated in front of you Ki Ki?" Caleb asked, astonished and horrified.

"He did, but I tried not to be offended. He was really drunk and even he was horrified the next morning when he learned about what he did. He apologized."

"He ran away twice," Sandy continued. "But the one time, he did call and say it was a mistake and that he wanted to come home."

"He was drunk that night too, that's when he threw up in my car," Kirsten explained, sipping her coffee nonchalantly.

"Thank God you had that bucket in there," Sandy reasoned.

"Okay, okay, stop!" Caleb yelled out, putting his arms up in the air before placing them on his head in anguish. "I think I've heard enough."

"Really that's the gist of it Cal. There was some skipping school in there and a couple of fistfights, really good ones. Ryan can definitely fight. He did go out with Seth and steal a bottle of booze and then proceeded to get Seth drunk."

"Oh and the girls! We can't forget the girls. Turns out Ryan is quite the ladies man, at least with one night stands that is," Kirsten pointed out.

"Enough! I feel sick already. I think I need a drink."

"Gladly," Sandy said enthusiastically reaching for a whiskey bottle in the cabinet. "Besides, you're gonna need this for the last part of the story."

"I can't wait," Caleb groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Dad it's eight-thirty in the morning," Kirsten reminded him.

"Ki Ki, anyone absorbing news like this first thing in the morning should be allowed a drink or two first."

Snatching the glass off the table, Caleb took a generous slug and crumpled his face. "Alright. Let's get this over with. How does the story end?"

"Well…Dad…" Kirsten began, coughing to clear her throat. "If the story ends the way we want it to…Ryan will be a permanent member of this family. Sandy and I want to adopt him."

"You're out of your minds! Both of you! Do you understand what someone like him could do to this family?"

"Cal you've been gone for quite some time. Ryan's been here a while now and even though the two of you knocked heads this morning. He really is a good kid."

"Impossible. You heard the lack of respect in here this morning."

"He's sixteen Cal…I'm an adult and I don't respect you."

Caleb could only frown at his son-in-law as Kirsten approached him with something.

"Let me show you something. This is the only childhood photo we have of Ryan," she said offering the Batman photo to her Father. "His own Mother did that to him. Ironically, Ryan was sporting a similar black eye when we brought him home from Juvie."

Raising his eyes off the photo, Caleb looked at his daughter. For the first time that morning, his demeanor softened and he put his anger in check.

"He's had a terrible life Dad. Sandy and I want to give him something more. In Chino…In Chino he was a very bad boy. He stole things. He hurt people. But he wants this. He's a completely different kid here. He's good here. He listens to us."

Setting the photo down on the table, Caleb rubbed his face again. "How do you know? How do you know he won't steal everything in the house? How do you know he's not here for the money? How do you know he won't wake up one day and try to kill all of you?"

Kirsten offered her Father a sympathetic face. His ramblings were that of any concerned Father.

"Like Sandy said, Ryan's been here for a while and he's never shown any aggression towards any of us. He can throw some nasty dirty looks when he wants to, but that's the extent of it," Kirsten explained. Continuing, "As for the money, Ryan's never asked for a single thing since he's been here. Not new clothes, not a cd, not even a pack of cigarettes. And anything he did want, he'd go get it himself, he'd never ask for it."

"You're saying he'd steal it?" Caleb confirmed.

"Yeah."

"Give him a chance Cal," Sandy cut in. "He comes for a place where people treated him…well, a lot worse than you did this morning. But your tone definitely took him back to his past and that's why he's not giving you an inch now. You're going to have to give him some space if you want him to come around."

"You really want to do this? You really want to take in this scrapper?" Caleb asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"You don't know the things we know Dad. I can't bare the thought of sending him back to his Mother."

Ryan had spent most of the day hidden away in the pool house. Since no one really came around to check on him he assumed Mr. Nichol was still in the house and the Cohens were doing everything they could to keep him away from Ryan…or so he thought until the door opened.

When Caleb walked in, Ryan pursed his lips in disgust and rolled his head to the side, ignoring Caleb as he approached. He finally spoke when his visitor's shoes came into view as he stared at the floor.

"You'll want to sit in that chair," Ryan explained, pointing. "That's the Warden's chair. All lectures come from there."

"Is that why you think I came in here? To lecture you?"

"Well isn't it? I don't see any other reason for you to be in here. By now you already know what's going on and you're here to warn me about hurting your family."

Caleb sat down in the opposite chair, immediately drawing Ryan's attention. He could tell the boy was just waiting for a reason to pounce.

"You seem to be a smart boy," Caleb said, watching Ryan carefully. "I think you already know that I took one look at you this morning and had preconceived ideas in my head about who you were and what you were doing here. After taking with Kirsten and Sandy, I now realize I…made a mistake."

Ryan sat bone chillingly still and furled his eyebrows at the old man's comment.

"I owe you an apology and…I'm sorry."

Tucking his lips in, Ryan blinked and looked away. "What are you sorry for?" he asked, returning a sideways glance at the guest in his room.

"What do you mean?" Caleb asked, confused by Ryan's question.

"Are you sorry for the way you treated me? Or…are you sorry that I had such a horrible childhood, which I'm sure you've learned about by now? Maybe you're sorry that I ended up here and it's your family that got stuck with me. Maybe you're sorry you weren't in town when I first got here so you could have stopped it all from going this far. Maybe you're sorry you can't talk them out of adopting me. See what I mean?"

Caleb stared back at the boy, unsure of his response. Ryan was smart enough to pick up on things Cal hoped he wouldn't touch on.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you this morning. I placed a judgment on you without giving you a chance." Caleb could tell the boy wasn't really absorbing the apology. They were just words. With his background he'd probably heard 'I'm sorry' so many times he was callous to it.

"I'd be lying, and I think you'd know it, if I didn't admit I have concerns about…the arrangement. But then again, you've been here for months. All of this is only four hours old to me. Like any Father, I just want what's best for my family."

Sighing, "And I'm not…the best choice for your family," Ryan said quietly.

"I didn't say that Ryan."

"You didn't have to. Nobody really wants me. Kirsten, Sandy, Seth…they made me feel important. They made me feel wanted. I've never had that."

"I didn't realize…"

"You should lay off of Sandy and Kirsten for right now. We go back to court next Monday for my custody hearing. If my Mom decides to be a bitch, she'll say she wants me back, mind you, she's had thirty days to think about it. You have any idea how it feels to have your own Mom use her full, court appointed, thirty days to decide whether or not she wants you any more? Anyways…if you hold your breath just a little longer and she refuses to sign my papers, I'll be gone and you'll get your wish."

"Ryan…"

"Mr. Nichol I've got a lot on my mind these days, not to mention a huge decision that lies in other people's hands that will affect the direction of my life forever as of Monday. I don't need, or want, to fight yet another person."

Nodding, "I understand. I'm supposed to bring you back into the house for lunch…Kirsten's orders." He watched Ryan still not moving, not acknowledging. "Right. I'll um, I'll tell her you're not hungry." Rising from his chair, Caleb looked down at the boy before him, now it was clear to him he was in fact just a boy behind the tough exterior. "For the record Ryan, I hope your hearing goes…the way you want it to. I can see that my family really cares about you and I know they would be devastated if you left. If you change your mind, I would like…you to join us for lunch."

Ryan dropped his head to the floor as Caleb quietly exited the pool house. Ryan looked up finally and threw another sideways glance at the door. The old man was hard to read. Ryan wasn't sure just how much of his conversation was genuine and how much was bullshit. One thing he did know, he was starving. He knew he wasn't going to be able to brood for too long, his stomach wouldn't hear of it.

After roughly fifteen more minutes had passed, Ryan stood up, used the bathroom, took a deep breath and opened the door. With only a week left with the Cohens, he wasn't going to let Caleb keep him stuck in a corner.

Stacking the dishes in the dishwasher, Sandy eyed his Father-in-law. "Whatever you said to Ryan must have sunk in. I really didn't think you of all people would get him to come to lunch."

"Don't be ridiculous Sanford. He didn't believe a word I said. He only came in here to flex his neck."

"Excuse me?" Sandy asked with a dish in each hand.

"He came in to show his dominance. I pushed on him this morning and he's still pushing back, showing me he's not giving any ground away. He knew avoiding lunch really meant he was avoiding me, letting me win. He's not that type of kid."

Sandy closed the door to the dishwasher and gawked at Caleb.

"Don't look at me like that Sandy. I can recognize dominance when I see it."

"Well then I better pray that Ryan's attempt at dominance becomes nothing like yours or we'll all be in a lot of trouble and that includes you Cal."

Setting down his cup of coffee. "He doesn't trust anyone, does he?" Caleb inquired.

Shrugging his shoulders, "He picks his battles just like everyone else. A kid with his background…trust is definitely an issue. When he first came here, you'd say something to him and you could just see it in his eyes that he was analyzing how much of it was bullshit. He's been through an awful lot."

"I guess the real question here is, do you trust him Sandy?"

"I do. It was rough in the beginning. We didn't know anything about him or how to handle him. Adding to that, the only thing he knew was that he wanted out of here. He felt caged. Just like anything else, it took time. Time for us to understand why he did the things he did and time for him to understand he would be safe here."

Caleb tapped his fingers against his cup. "Is there anything I can do? To help?"

"I'm speechless Cal. You're actually offering assistance to bring another alpha male into the house? You know he's going to give you a run for your money…and I'm going to enjoy that."

"There's no need to squeal with glee Sanford. Who's the Judge on the case?"

"Whitney."

"Ouch. She's tough." There was a long pause. "Want me to talk to her? Talk to his Mother?" he offered, casually raising his coffee cup to his mouth.

"Cal, I don't want to strong-arm anyone into making this decision. Judge Whitney is a good Judge, I have faith her decision will be the right one. And Dawn may have her flaws but at the end of the day, that's still his Mother."

"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me."

"I don't want it done like that Cal. We want Ryan here because he wants to be here and because we want him here. We love him."

"As you wish. I have to get going. Say goodbye to Ki Ki for me."

Just out of view, Ryan leaned against the doorframe on the patio, stunned by the conversation he'd just overheard. He knew the Cohens cared about him, even loved him, but now even the old man who'd locked horns with him just hours ago was considering drastic measures to help keep him in the family. He was startled when Sandy stepped through the door.

"Hey. Didn't mean to scare you, I didn't know you were there."

Ryan nodded and looked down at the ground right away. "Do you think we should let him talk to Judge Whitney?" Ryan asked, much to Sandy's surprise.

"No, I don't." Sandy watched Ryan's body slump in defeat. "Ryan, I know you want to stay more than anything. And believe me when I say we all want you to stay…but threatening people, or in Caleb's case, buying people's decisions is not the way to handle this."

"Why not?" Ryan asked flatly, still engrossed at staring at the concrete under his boots.

"Because then you're here for the wrong reasons. You aren't here because the court felt this is best or because your Mom agreed you deserve better. You'd be here as the result of someone's fear or a payoff. That's sounds very Chino to me and I thought we were past all of that."

Ryan allowed a crooked smile to flash in Sandy's direction. "I know. I'm just at the end of my rope. What you guys know about my Mom isn't good…what I know about my Mom is even worse. I already told Seth this isn't going to have a happy ending."

"You don't know that Ryan. You can't give up that hope."

"I wish I could believe you…but I can't."

For the first time in a long time, Sandy saw the broken soul of a boy defeated. It was rare that Ryan showed this side of himself, especially to another male figure. Ryan didn't cry out for help often but right now, he was screaming. Sandy reached out and gave Ryan a hug. His only response was turning his face into Sandy's shoulder.

"Keep that strength kid. It's gonna work out. You'll see."

When Sandy released his grip Ryan nervously walked away and disappeared into the pool house. He wished there was more he could do…and then the devil on his shoulder started jumping up and down.

Hurrying back into the kitchen desk, Sandy snatched up the kitchen phone and started dialing. He glanced out the window to make sure Ryan wasn't coming in, or standing next to the door again for that matter.

"Yeah it's me. Okay you win. Leave the Mother alone but just feel out our cloaked friend and see which way she's leaning. Don't do anything stupid and leave me out of this."

With a click of a button, Sandy set the phone down on the counter and worried about the decision he'd just made.

"You're bad habits are rubbing off on me Ryan," Sandy mumbled out loud to himself in the kitchen. "Let's just hope they work this time."

TBC


	25. Love Hurts

Bad Behavior 25

Love Hurts

Judge Whitney strolled into her favorite coffee house and parked herself at the quiet end of the counter.

"You want the regular Judge?" the clerk offered.

"Yeah Sam that'd be great." She threw her coat over the back of her chair and sat down just as her coffee arrived. She hadn't noticed the handsomely suited man at the table in the corner who'd just folded his newspaper and was approaching her.

"Good morning," the man greeted, catching the Judge off guard and taking a seat next to her.

"Well, well. Caleb Nichol. It's been a long time, and that's probably a good thing. So what do you want?"

"Coffee, of course. Kona, black," he hissed to the passing clerk.

"Don't play me for a fool. I've known you long enough to know it's no coincidence that you've turned up in my territory. There's more than coffee grounds in the bottom of your cup. What's going on?"

Caleb sauced a smile at the Judge. "You're always were ahead of your game Maria."

"Always."

"So here's the thing. There's a custody case that you're reviewing…"

"Stop right there. Mr. Nichol, you know I can't discuss anything with you and any attempt to discuss a case with me could not only put your case of interest in peril, but it could land you in jail. You know better than this."

"I'm not asking you to discuss it with me. I just want you to hear what I have to say and then have your people do the legwork on it. The boy's name is Ryan Atwood. Do you know which one he is?"

Narrowing her eyes at Caleb, she nodded against her will. "He was in my courtroom the other day."

"That's right. What you know about him is only the tip of the iceberg. Have your people look into his DCFS files. I'm sure you're familiar enough with his criminal record, but you may not have had the opportunity to look into his child services file. You can't miss it. It's rather thick. This boy has brought great joy to my daughter and her family and he's worthy of a new life. Just…take your time when you make your decision on this one. Please."

The Judge sat quietly for a moment. She'd only known the evil-business, conniving side of Caleb Nichol. This was new territory.

"And…what if the Mother wants him back? I can't just ignore California law Mr. Nichol."

"Ground breaking cases come through the courts every day…you've pioneered several yourself."

"That's coming frighteningly close to a threat Mr. Nichol."

"Not at all," he defended as he stood up, taking the last swallow of his coffee. "If there's a Judge out there that can make the right decision on an important case like this one…it's you. Have a nice day Judge Whitney."

Bewildered by Caleb's behavior, Judge Whitney sat perplexed at the counter, spinning her coffee mug. Never had she seen Caleb Nichol wear his emotions on his sleeve, and for an honest cause on top it. Ryan's appearance in her courtroom played in her mind. She kept revisiting the spat between him and his mother. She'd seen a lot in her day. This wasn't just teen angst. He really hated her.

"More coffee there Judge?" the clerk offered.

"Better make this one to go Sam, I've got work to do."

"Hey man, come on get up," Seth coaxed. When Ryan didn't move, Seth jumped on the foot of Ryan's bed and hopped up and down to get his attention. "Come on man, come on! Get up!"

Hurling the covers back, Ryan's infuriated head shot up and even his scruffy morning hair couldn't hide the death glare emanating from sleepy eyes. Seth immediately backed off of Ryan's bed and tripped straight into the chair behind him.

"Sorry. I forgot you don't like anyone on your bed."

Kicking his feet out from under the covers, Ryan got up and walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open.

"So I thought maybe we could do something today. There's break…fast…in the kitchen," Seth faded out as his words were interrupted by Ryan using the bathroom. "You're busy…I'll just wait a minute."

When Ryan returned, "I don't want to do anything and I'm not hungry."

Disgusted, Seth put his hands on his hips. "I will not let you do this."

"Do what?" Ryan asked, still irritated by Seth's version of a wake up call.

"This, that's what. Maybe this is your last week here, maybe it's not. Either way I'm not going to let you sit in here pouting."

"I'm not pouting," Ryan retorted, changing his shirt.

"Pick any word you like…pouting, moping…brooding. I think brooding works especially good for you."

Ryan glared at Seth before letting out a deep sigh and wading up his dirty laundry.

"Come on man. You obviously feel close enough to me at times. I've seen it. Christ Ryan, you just peed with the door open and I'm standing right here."

"That was supposed to make you uncomfortable so you'd leave."

The comment cut Seth and he finally erupted.

"This isn't just about you any more Ryan. You think if you get sent back to Chino that you're the only one that's going to be upset?" Seth was barely keeping a lid on his emotions and the spectacle he'd become had Ryan's complete attention. "What about my Mom and my Dad? What about me Ryan? I had nothing before you came. Nothing to look forward to, no friends, nothing." If you leave…" the words escaped from Seth and he let his arms slap against his legs as proof. "There's more to this than you realize and apparently, you're the only one that doesn't see it. You want me to treat you like you're already gone? That's fine. I've got the 'being alone' thing down pretty good."

With a sniffle Seth stormed out of the pool house. He had a point and it took his outburst for Ryan to realize it. All this time, Ryan only considered how upset he would be if he went back to Chino. He was used to only worrying about himself. Kirsten's conversation with Ryan about Seth came back to him in a flash. 'That was cruel Ryan. He looks up to you,' she'd told him once. Suddenly Ryan realized he had handled this morning all wrong. Seth was right he was brooding, and he was wasting valuable time.

Quietly he closed the patio door behind him. Kirsten and Seth were both in the kitchen. She was pouring coffee. Seth was sitting at the counter sniffling. Feeling ashamed, Ryan kept his head low and carefully pulled out the chair next to Seth and sat down.

"Is everything okay with you two?" Kirsten inquired noticing the tension between them. Rather than an explanation, she got a shrug from Seth and Ryan gave her a quick glance before tipping his head back down again. Wrinkling her forehead she wondered what had happened. She was about to make a comment when she noticed Ryan nervously tapping his hands and looking at Seth. She knew words would soon follow.

"You were right," Ryan finally said. "I'm sorry."

Another shrug from Seth followed as well as a nod or two. Once again Ryan's eyes drifted briefly to Kirsten before dropping back down to the counter.

Ryan cleared his throat before continuing. "I've spent so much of my life not meaning anything to anyone that…sometimes I forget I am important to certain people. And…certain people are important to me too."

Seth only nodded again.

"I'll…if you want to go to the pier or something…I'll go with you," Ryan offered, trying to clear the air.

"Pier would be good. I'll go get my jacket." Seth's monotone voice told Ryan he was still upset, rightfully so.

Once Seth had disappeared, Ryan waited for Kirsten's interrogation to follow. When nothing followed, he was dumbfounded with himself for actually initiating the conversation.

"I snapped at him this morning."

"Oh?"

"I had it all worked out in my head that if I started to distance myself from you guys, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if I have to leave after the hearing."

Kirsten found it amazing that Ryan, at times, seemed to be brutally honest in her presence. "Ryan, whatever the court decides on Monday…you will always be a part of this family, regardless of what a piece of paper says. If, and that's 'if' you went back to Chino, who knows, maybe your Mom would let you come up here on the weekends or during your breaks. Something could be worked out, I'm sure of it."

"Maybe."

"You ready Ryan?" Seth hollered from the living room.

"Here Ryan, take this." Reaching into her purse, Kirsten pulled out some money and handed it to Ryan.

"You don't have to…I don't…"

"Ryan, take it. I gave Seth some money this morning. This is your money. I'm giving you the same thing. Go have some fun." When Ryan still wouldn't take the money, Kirsten folded it, told him to stand up and slid it into his front pocket. "There. Now if anyone goes for your pocket, punch them."

The comment made Ryan laugh out loud.

"Okay? Now go have some fun. Dinner's going to be at seven guys. Call if you're not going to be here."

Dawn woke up in a groggy state. Her head pounded with the familiar ache of a well-deserved hangover. Scowling at the wall she concentrated on where she was and how she got there. Nothing came to mind. She rolled over slowly, hoping to control the spinning room. Lying on her back, she took in the room around her, Ryan's room. She was on Ryan's bed. Everything was exactly the way he left it. There was a pack of cigarettes and a book of matches sitting on his night table next to an empty soda can that he used as an ashtray. Dawn sniffled at the vision of Ryan telling her he'd quit smoking…it wasn't allowed in his new home and he'd obeyed his foster parents. Leaning forward she picked up a t-shirt from the floor. The sleeve was stained with blood. No doubt from one of the many fights he'd been in with God knows who over Lord knows what. Boys were boys. Her heart jumped at the realization that the blood could have come at her own hand. How many times had she slapped him in anger or even in a drunken state and split his lip, or caused a nosebleed. Yes, it was possible she'd been the one to hurt him, to ruin his shirt. The thought made her nauseous and she clenched the shirt to her chest.

Still scanning the room, she noticed his raggedy, old book bag at the foot of the bed. Reaching inside she pulled out a textbook. Ryan had doodled all over the front. She could tell it was his writing. Opening the book she found all sorts of papers folded inside, most of them notes from girls with sexual overtones. She knew neither of her sons were virgins but she didn't realize Ryan was such a Casanova with the girls. Closing the book she held it to her chest on top of the t-shirt and thumbed mindlessly at the corner of the book. Her thoughts drifted back to her conversation with Kirsten about Ryan attending one of the top schools in the state. How he was doing well there and hadn't missed a day.

Dawn tossed the book down onto the floor. Another glance around the room left her feeling quite cold. There was nothing in this room but evidence of Ryan's broken life…bloodstains, a cigarette pack, stolen no doubt, and a textbook he'd used as a scratch pad.

Having pondered enough, Dawn stood up, shakily, and walked to the doorway. Pausing she looked back at the empty bed. This was the first time she'd really looked at her son's life through his eyes, and she didn't like what she saw.

Suddenly her home felt very empty. She had thought about Ryan every day and almost every thought was painful. She would have to make a decision soon. It was something she'd been avoiding since the day she'd learned about it. She could understand the Cohen's frustration. After all, she was his Mother, what was there to think about? Truth be told even she wasn't sure what her problem was. Maybe it was the fear of being alone. Maybe it was anger over Ryan preferring another woman to act as his Mother. Maybe she felt she deserved another chance…but no one knew better than her that Ryan had been more than patient. As far as he was concerned, she was out of chances. And then there was her most feared possibility…maybe he really was better off without her.

Shaking the fog out of her head she closed the door to his room. With her hand still on the knob and his bloodstained shirt in her other hand, she slid down to the floor and cried.

"I'm worried about Ryan," Kirsten explained.

Putting his feet up on the coffee table, Sandy lowered the remote and turned his attention to his wife. "Why? What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I don't know the whole story but apparently he and Seth got into a spat this morning. Ryan admitted to me he felt it was a good idea to start distancing himself from all of us…that way if he has to go back to Chino next week, he thought maybe it wouldn't be so hard."

"Well that's not good."

"What do you think we should do?"

Sandy thought for a moment, "I think we should just keep doing what we've been doing. Keep including him in everything as we have been. Keep reinforcing the fact that the court papers aren't going to change the way we feel about him. And keep pushing the positive strides he's made in his life. He's doing great."

"You think he's really going to retain all of that if he gets sent back to Chino?" Kirsten asked realistically.

Nodding, "I do. I think he'll at least retain enough to think before he acts if he were to go back home and that's a start."

"Four more days. It feels like an eternity doesn't it?"

"Yes it does. And I'll bet to Ryan it feels even longer than that. Soon enough it'll all be over and hopefully we'll have a reason to celebrate again."

"And if we don't?" Kirsten asked, preparing for the worst again.

"If we don't then it will be more important than ever to reinforce how much we love him and that we will always be here for him. It's all we can do."

Leaning on a railing Seth and Ryan watched the boats out at sea. Ryan was back to wishing he were anywhere but in Newport. He couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't relax and he was having a damn hard time believing anything anyone said to him. Bottom line, he just wished it was over once and for all and he knew where his future was going.

"I wish there was something I could do," Seth mentioned in passing.

"There's nothing anyone can do now. The ball is already set in motion," Ryan explained dryly.

"I have a good feeling about it." Seth knew the comment sounded overly cheesy but at this point there was nothing to lose. "Is there anything you want to do this week?"

Ryan gave Seth a sideways glance before looking back at the sailboats.

"Ryan, I know that look. What?"

Ryan turned to Seth, meeting his gaze. "Seth, I might…I might…take off for a while, to clear my head."

"Well sure I can understand that. I'd want to be alone for a while too if I'd spent the afternoon with me. I don't shut up."

"No man," Ryan licked his lips. "I mean I'm going to take off for a while. This is getting to be too much for me," he explained quietly, turning back to the boats.

"Ryan you can't do this. I won't let you do this."

Seth panicked. He knew if he let Ryan leave, that would be it. He'd never see him again. He needed some leverage and he needed it now.

"If you run, I'm going straight to the cops and my parents. I'm not letting you leave again, especially not like this." Seth's voice squeaked just as it did that morning. "Why can't you understand that we love you man? You're like a brother to me."

Not knowing what to say, Ryan did an about-face and started walking away from Seth.

"Ryan stop! Please! Stop! That's it Ryan, I'm calling my Dad!" Seth threatened, pulling out his cell phone and flipping it open.

Halting his escape, Ryan rushed back to Seth and yanked the cell phone out of his hand. His eyes were red and watery from the threat of tears.

"You don't fucking get it! None of you do! I can't take this! I don't know how to handle this! Everyone's upset! I can't take seeing all of you hurting over me! I'm the cause of this! I'm not worth it!"

Ryan's rage ended with him tossing Seth's cell phone at his feet. Both boys stood on a quiet part of the pier, neither knowing what to say.

"I thought I could do this…handle this. I can't Seth…I can't."

Seth dug his heels in as hard as he could. If he didn't, he risked the chance of losing Ryan for good.

"You don't have to do anything. Let us do it, let us help you. Anything, I'll do anything. Just tell me what you need," Seth begged.

Ryan looked wearily at Seth. This is exactly what he was talking about. He didn't want Seth begging, he didn't want the Cohens going out of their way…they'd done enough already. The pressure had just become too much, for Ryan, it had become unbearable.

"Seth…I just…I can't…" Ryan answered quietly, almost ashamed.

"Okay but then, let's just go to my parents. We'll tell them how you feel, that you need a break. They've been pretty free spirited with you Ryan. Maybe they'll be okay with you wandering off for a while as long as they know where you are, or something. Please, please just come home with me. We'll think of something."

Ryan's face was blank. He looked more wounded than anything. Seth knew he was struggling with the decision to of staying or bolting.

"Please let me drive you home," Seth begged, breaking up the silence.

It took a moment, but Ryan finally nodded. Seth knew he was going along with the program against his will…but the important thing was, he was staying.

When they walked through the door at home, Sandy knew immediately that something happened.

"What's wrong? What's the matter?" he asked rather concerned and rushing over to the boys.

"Dad, um, Ryan needs to talk to you."

The statement drew a dirty look from Ryan. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Seth's the one that wanted to do all the talking.

Catching on, "Why do you think he wants to talk to me? He doesn't look like he's in the talking mood if you ask me," Sandy admitted.

"I'm not giving him that choice Dad. If he doesn't talk to you about what he's feeling…he's gonna run. He told me he's gonna run."

Sandy's head tipped up a bit and he held his breath at Seth's comment. That was the last thing he expected. "Seth why don't you give us some time alone?"

Thankful he was able to at least get Ryan home, Seth nodded and gave a pat to Ryan's shoulder. "This is your chance man. Put it all out there."

"Come on Ryan let's sit down." Walking into the living room Sandy took a seat and noticed that Ryan was still standing with his hands in his jacket pockets. "Ryan, please talk to me."

Against his will Ryan, again, sat down. Sandy took this as a good sign. If Ryan really didn't want to talk, he wouldn't have allowed Seth to bring him home…he wouldn't have sat down. This was another one of Ryan's silent screams for intervention.

Knowing Ryan wouldn't be the first to say something, Sandy started the conversation. "So obviously there's something on your mind. Maybe…maybe you're just worried about next Monday's outcome? Maybe you're not sure you really want to be here? Maybe you're having second thoughts about leaving your Mom?"

The last comment earned Sandy a razor sharp glare from Ryan…okay, so that one isn't the reason.

"Ryan, I want you to tell me what's upsetting you."

Ryan's mind flashed back to The Ranch and he could hear Gina's words in his head…"It's okay to talk about the things that bother us. It's part of healing," she'd said.

"I can't take the pressure," he offered quietly.

"I know there's a lot going on right now, but things will quiet do…"

"I can't take seeing all of you upset over the possibility of losing me. I don't deserve that sort of attention, I'm not worth it."

"Ryan, I want you to look at me." He waited a moment for Ryan to raise his eyes. "You ARE worth it. If you weren't, we wouldn't be upset."

Sandy leaned in close to Ryan, invading his space. He put his arm on Ryan's shoulder. "It's okay to admit that you're scared Ryan. We all are. That's why this is such an emotional time for all of us."

Ryan pressed his eyebrows down, his protective wall immediately going up.

"Admitting you're scared doesn't change who you are Ryan. All it does is help you understand what you're feeling. It's okay to be scared."

Turning his eyes, Ryan wrung his hands together and he appeared to be staring at Sandy's knee. He shook his head slowly as if he were having a conversation with himself and a single tear managed to escape and drop to the floor.

"I'm terrified of being sent back there," Ryan admitted softly. Finally he owned his feelings. Finally he could say it out loud. He nervously snuck peaks at Sandy, clearly searching for reassurance.

"It's okay son. It's okay to say it. There's nothing wrong with that. Please promise me that you'll stay. Let us take care of you. We want to take care of you Ryan."

Looking up at Sandy, Ryan looked like a scared little boy. The conversation between the two of them had let Sandy in, at least for the time being.

"I feel like, like I'm hurting everyone. I don't want to hurt you guys."

"Ryan, there was a time when you first came here when you told us you didn't know what it was like to be loved. You're feeling love right now. That's why this hurts so much. Love can make you feel great but by the same token, when you risk losing something, or someone, that you truly love, it can break your heart." Sandy watched Ryan process his words before continuing. "This is why we've been trying to help you understand, no matter what the outcome is on Monday, it won't have any effect on our feelings for you. We love you kid. And that ain't gonna go away anytime soon."

"What do you think will happen on Monday?" Ryan asked, changing the subject.

"I wish I knew. I think we've got a really good shot at this going in our favor. All we can do is think positive and stay strong for each other. That's what families do." There was a long silence. "Will you please stay with us?"

Giving in, Ryan nodded and started to take off his jacket.

"You know now that you got my heart pumping, I'm gonna have to watch you like a hawk," Sandy joked.

"I know. I won't leave. I promise."

With that, Ryan took off his boots and laid back on the couch. Sandy went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee before returning to the living room to finish his magazine. It wasn't long at all before he realized that Ryan had fallen asleep. Retrieving a blanket from the linen closet, Sandy covered him up and then parked himself on the other couch. There was no way in hell he was letting this kid out of his sight after the conversation they had.

As the night wore on, Sandy dozed off at some point. He knew he'd have to sleep too. He was confident that he would hear Ryan rustling around if he woke up. When Sandy did wake up, it was near four a.m., and his heart skipped a beat. The couch across from him had Ryan's blanket shoved aside…but no Ryan. He was gone.

(TBC)

This is a warm up...if this one brought you any tears, be warned...Chapter 26 is a heartbreaker: D 


	26. Numbing The Pain

Warning: Kleenex Alert! (You're gonna need 'em): D

Bad Behavior 26

Numbing the Pain

Ryan couldn't be gone, he just couldn't. He damn well better not be gone! He promised he wouldn't leave and so far he'd kept his promises. Sandy shook his head at his own thoughts. What did he expect? The kid was running scared and he shouldn't be surprised at this. The rest of Ryan's life hung in the balance of what other people thought was best for him.

Deciding he should go look for Ryan, Sandy stood up and wiped the sleep out of his eyes. Maybe Ryan was up and about but not gone. Maybe he went back to his own bed. Maybe he was at the bottom of the driveway sneaking a cigarette for comfort. Maybe he went to the pier as he'd done in the past when he was upset. And maybe he really did leave…and that thought worried Sandy most of all.

Taking two steps towards the front door, Sandy's attention was drawn to the floor. This time his heart fluttered with a bit of excitement. Ryan's boots were still on the floor next to the couch, these were pretty much the only shoes Ryan ever wore. Wherever he was, he was barefoot, or only in his socks, and that meant he hadn't gone far. Also on the floor was Ryan's jacket. Upon inspection, Sandy smirked at the hot pack of cigarettes hidden in one of the inside pockets.

Dropping the jacket Sandy quickly moved down the hallway to the bathroom looking for Ryan. Nothing. Maybe he went to talk to Seth? A quick scouring of the second floor turned up nothing, just Kirsten and Seth both sound asleep in their own beds.

Rushing back downstairs, Sandy hurried back to the living room to see if Ryan had returned. Nothing. Just as he was considering checking the pool house, he heard the clink of glass in the kitchen. Sneaking up to the doorway, he located Ryan. He was sitting at the breakfast bar. With his upper body slumped over the counter, Sandy knew he was asleep.

The flick of a switch shed just a bit of light into the kitchen…it also shed a ton of light on the situation. Sighing loudly, Sandy approached Ryan and removed the whiskey bottle from his hand. At three-quarters empty, Sandy knew Ryan was going to have a very, very bad morning.

"You gotta hang in there kid. You can do this, I know you can."

Brushing the hair out of Ryan's passed out eyes Sandy couldn't help but get emotional. This kid was in so much pain and there was nothing more he could do about it. He felt helpless. He realized now that nothing he could do or say would make these last few days any easier for Ryan.

Stroking his thumb over Ryan's cheek, "Wake up son. Come on. Wake up Ryan."

Ryan's faced crumpled disagreeably and he pushed Sandy's hand away.

"Come on Ryan. We've got to move you back to the couch so you can sleep."

Complying as little as possible, Ryan cracked his eyes open and tried to focus on Sandy. Instead, he noticed his bottle had been moved. He reached for it and quickly took hold of it.

"No, no Ryan," Sandy reprimanded as if he were talking to a small child. "Give it to me please."

Ryan slowly raised himself up off the counter, his eyes dark and crossing from the full effect of the alcohol. He could barely hold his head up as he looked down at the bottle.

"That was mine. I drank all of that," Ryan slurred matter-of-factly.

Sandy couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "I promise you, you will not be so proud of that fact come morning."

Sandy was surprised at the quickness and accuracy in which Ryan raised the bottle and slammed another taste.

"Ryan, Ryan please. No more, okay? That's all for today. We have to save some for tomorrow." Sandy knew there'd be no more drinking tomorrow and he also knew Ryan wouldn't remember a thing once he sobered up. He just had to make enough sense right now for him to go along with the program.

Kirsten had appeared in the doorway and Sandy signaled to her to stay quiet.

"I can drink a lot…we're going to need more than that," he slurred again, fighting to stay awake.

"How are we going to get more?" Sandy asked, trying to keep Ryan talking.

"I'm a thief. I steal things. I can get anything you need."

The comment disturbed Sandy. Talking to Ryan while he was drunk was like looking directly into his soul and seeing how he saw himself.

"Ryan you're a good boy, you don't steal things any more."

"We're gonna need more of that stuff," he insisted.

"Why do we need more?" Sandy interrogated.

"If you drink that, you don't feel anything," Ryan replied honestly. Sandy and Kirsten exchanged a concerned look.

"Why don't you want to feel anything?"

Ryan pawed at the table with his hand as if he could see something the others couldn't. "I don't want to hurt anymore," he said quietly. "The bottle makes you numb and you don't hurt anymore."

With that explanation, Ryan reached past Sandy in another attempt to acquire the bottle again.

"Ryan…no more. You're there son. You're numb."

Sandy cupped Ryan's face in his hand. Barely able to hold his head up on his own, Ryan allowed the weight of his head to rest in Sandy's hand. He studied Sandy's face carefully. Sandy never saw Ryan's eyes so empty.

"Are you sure? Maybe I need more."

"I'm sure Ryan."

Ryan closed his eyes momentarily and licked his lips slowly as if his mouth was as dry as cotton.

Nodding, "Okay. That's good because I don't want to hurt any more. I don't want to hurt."

Sandy did his best to keep the tears from falling. Kirsten had already gone to pieces in the corner with both hands over her mouth, trying to stifle the sobs. It broke their hearts to see Ryan like this. He was always so strong and to see him at his darkest moment left Sandy and Kirsten emotionally shattered.

"It's time for bed Ryan. Will you let me take you to bed?" Sandy requested, his own arms shaky from the conversation that had transpired.

Ryan gave, what they assumed, was a nod and he attempted to stand up. Clearly his legs were no longer with him and Kirsten and Sandy quickly moved in and grabbed him around the waist and put his arms over their shoulders to keep him from falling to the floor. Shuffling him back to the couch, they took all the necessary precautions. They put several towels underneath him incase he had an accident while he was passed out. Kirsten retrieved the now famous mop bucket and put it on the floor right next to his head. He was going to need it.

He was fighting to stay awake to see what they were doing, but he was losing the battle. His face was warm and rosy from the whiskey and he felt slightly perspired when Kirsten bent down and kissed his forehead.

"I love you," he whispered hoarsely.

"I love you too," Kirsten whispered back as she watched his eyes close.

"You're crying. I'm sorry I make you hurt," he struggled to verbalize before he passed out. And thank God he passed out because that's when Kirsten had her breakdown.

"Come on, let's go in the kitchen," Sandy instructed. "He'll be okay. He'll sleep for a while."

Still wrestling with his own emotions, Sandy held his wife and they walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Kirsten was trying to gain control of herself and Sandy kept glancing across the kitchen at the whiskey bottle.

"Sandy I can't bear to see him like this. I don't understand," Kirsten sniffled. "He was so happy to come home. He was calm. He had a positive outlook. What happened?"

"His Mom happened," Sandy grumbled. "Ryan was just fine until he saw her at his hearing. That's when everything changed."

Kirsten nodded, putting incidents and pieces of time together in her head.

"Ryan was very upset that she had come there in the first place," Sandy continued. "I think he's convinced himself that it's a sign he's going back to Chino."

"Her being there has nothing to do with the hearing next week. If anything I think everything that happened in court that day was in Ryan's favor."

"I agree, but it doesn't matter. Ryan got some sort of vibe that day. I have no idea why he's thinking the way he is…but it's definitely become a problem."

"We still have a few days until the hearing Sandy. How are we going to control him until then? If something happens between now and then and the police get involved…"

"We have to make him understand exactly that. He has a right to be upset, but he's going to have to find another way to handle it. If he gets arrested again before we legally take custody of him, he can kiss Newport goodbye."

Kirsten let her eyes close with worry. The next few days would definitely be a test of what they all were made of. Sandy and Kirsten could only hope they were strong enough to bring Ryan through this.

Morning had been a long time coming. Sandy couldn't sleep no matter what how hard he tried. He told himself he may as well get used to it because Ryan would be getting a staff of full time babysitters for the next three days whether he liked it or not.

Ryan hadn't moved all night. He stayed exactly the way Sandy and Kirsten laid him down. Sandy couldn't help but notice how helpless he looked lying there. He thought about the previous evening when Ryan's drunken counterpart was trying to explain getting numb to stop the hurt. He nodded at Ryan's motionless body. As bizarre as the situation was, and considering it was Ryan, he'd done the right thing. He could've left, but he didn't. Hell, he'd obviously been in the kitchen for some time since he was able to get completely wasted before someone found him. Now Sandy was shaking his head at Ryan. Why couldn't this kid just ask for help? Why didn't he just talk when he needed to? Sandy had never seen so many silent signals for help. It made him more determined than ever to see this thing through, no matter what it took.

In the middle of his thoughts he noticed Ryan started moaning…and swallowing.

Taking a deep breath, "He we go kid," he mumbled more to himself than to Ryan.

Rushing over to Ryan, who was now squirming, Sandy pulled him onto his side just in the nick of time as his stomach began to empty itself into the bucket. The onslaught of vomiting left Ryan gasping for breath, not to mention terribly shaky from being ripped from his sleep in this matter. When he finally did get a brief break he noticed he'd nailed Sandy's hand at one point.

"Sandy…I'm…sorry…I'm so…sorry," he struggled to get out before his stomach retched again.

"It's okay Ryan. It's okay. Just relax."

"Sandy? How is he?"

Kirsten had appeared in the blink of an eye. Sandy didn't even notice her walk up.

"He's ah, he's really green right now."

As if on cue, Ryan hurled into the bucket two more times.

"See? And he's shaking really bad. I think it's because the vomiting is what woke him up. He's gonna be okay. This should slow down soon."

Kirsten looked sympathetically on Ryan. Sure, he'd brought this on himself, but she understood why he did it. Under the circumstances, she just wanted to mother him and get him well. The rest could wait.

"I'll go get a different bucket so I can rinse that one out. I'm sure that dirty one sitting there is making him just as sick. I'll get him some new clothes too," Kirsten offered, signaling secretly to Sandy.

"Please tell me I didn't puke on the couch." Ryan looked to Sandy for reassurance.

"You didn't Ryan. The bucket is all you kid."

Confused, "Then why do I need new clothes?"

Sandy raised his eyes to Kirsten, unsure of how to break the news.

"Ryan, honey, you um, you had a little accident."

"What!" Turning over a bit, Ryan noticed the front of his jeans were indeed wet. "Oh my God! I've never done that…ever!"

"Ryan it's okay," Kirsten tried to nurture. "You just need some dry clothes and you'll be fine honey. It's okay."

"I've never done that…your couch…"

"Relax Ryan," Sandy encouraged. "You were dry until you starting getting sick. I think waking up like that not only shocked you but shocked your body as well. That's when it happened. When we put you to sleep last night, we prepared you with towels just in case. We're way ahead of you kid. You don't need to worry about a thing."

Beyond embarrassed, Ryan rolled over onto his side into the fetal position. His head was spinning, his stomach was still churning, he was humiliated by his so called 'accident' no matter what caused it, and he was upset with himself for putting the Cohens through even more trauma only for them to act just like real parents and try to nurse him back. The more he thought about it, the more upset he got and it didn't take long before streams of tears fell from his eyes.

"Ryan what's wrong? Talk to me."

"I keep fucking up and you guys keep picking up the pieces. I'm like Humpty Dumpty on the fucking wall. Why do I keep treating you like this? Why?"

Sandy stroked Ryan's hair. "You're still protecting yourself Ryan. You're still unsure of where all this is going and you're still not ready to trust us completely. I can't blame you, I'd be looking out for myself too if I were in your shoes. It's a hard habit to break after a lifetime of doing it that way."

Kirsten had come back into the room and put a clean bucket next to Ryan. She moved behind the coffee table to she could see Ryan's face.

"But why can't I stop? You guys have done everything right. You're everything I ever dreamed a family would be. I keep beating you up and you keep coming back for more. Why do you do that?"

"Well that's an easy one. We do it because we love you."

Sandy's explanation was blunt and to the point and left no room for misunderstandings. Ryan let out a loud breath and his eyes darted to Kirsten who gave him a soft smile and nodded in agreement with Sandy's comment.

Coming around the coffee table, Kirsten sat down. "Ryan, last night you told us you drank because you didn't want to hurt anymore. Do you remember that?"

His eyes wandered off of Kirsten, he was trying to remember it but she knew he wouldn't. When he finally shook his head, she continued.

"You said the bottle made you numb so you didn't have to hurt any more. Ryan, we don't want you to hurt any more either, but this isn't the way to handle it."

Sandy cut in, "I'm going to go talk to Judge Whitney. She needs to know that you've reached a point where you're punishing yourself, in essence hurting yourself. She needs to know how strongly you feel against going back to Chino."

"But you said talking to her was wrong," Ryan remembered.

"I said having Caleb talk to her was wrong. This is an entirely different scenario. Ryan, you could accidentally poison yourself by drinking too much. We have to stop the hurt you're feeling…and we have to do it without the bottle."

"Okay. I won't drink anymore…well, not like that. I don't want you to go to the Judge. Okay? Please don't."

"Why?"

"Things like that don't work out for me. If you go to her, she'll twist the situation and say you guys can't handle me…that I'd be better off with my Mom. I know it. Please don't tell her about this. Please."

Sandy hated to admit it, but Ryan had a point. This could go sour on them if they brought it to the Judge's attention. It shouldn't…but there was still that chance, and it was a chance they couldn't afford to take.

"I swear I'll be good. I'll try harder. I'll stay out of trouble I swear." Tears formed in Ryan's eyes and his begging tugged at their hearts again.

"Okay Ryan, we'll do this your way. Over the next three days we need your cooperation. We need you to do what we say and we're going to be on you like shadows. We're worried sick about you right now."

"I understand," Ryan choked back the tears. "I'll be good," he nodded, getting a hold of himself.

"I'm going to go put the coffee on. I think we could all use some this morning." Kirsten hoped changing the subject would help calm Ryan down for the time being. "Ryan, there's clean sweatpants for you. I realize you need a shower but I'm sure you're head isn't ready for you to be vertical yet."

"No, the whole room is spinning," he admitted, rubbing his eyes.

"That's what I thought. Better you stay put a little while longer. I'll get a wet washcloth for you. That'll have to do for now. In the meantime, the bucket by your head is clean and ready if you need it and…well…I guess…here…" Placing the other bucket near the middle of the couch, both Sandy and Ryan looked at her, clueless.

"Don't look at me like that. You just might need it if you're head is still spinning too much to stand up by the time you have to go again."

Ryan's mouth dropped open. "You want me to piss in that bucket, in the middle of the living room…while laying on the couch?" Ryan asked, horrified at her suggestion.

"You managed to roll over and throw up where you were supposed to, I'm confident you can pee where you're supposed to if you really had to. There is of course the option of having another accident should you fall asleep…"

The Ryan she knew was slowly returning as he gave her one of his pouty glares. She couldn't help but smile to herself at that. It was a rather welcome sight.

"You going to lay off the whiskey?" she asked pointedly.

Ryan nodded. He was in no condition to be arguing. If he so much as turned his head too fast, he knew the dizziness would send him into another round of puking.

"You going to use the bucket if you have an emergency?"

Ryan let out a deep, disgusted sigh before nodding.

"Try to go back to sleep Ryan. Just get some rest. We'll be close by if you need anything."

The morning had dragged on agonizingly slow. Sandy and Kirsten both made the necessary arrangements to be away from work for the day and they left word they would be unavailable over the weekend.

It didn't take long for word to travel through the grapevine and for Caleb to appear on the doorstep.

"Dad…Hi…" Kirsten muttered upon answering the door.

"What's going on? Obviously the boy has gotten into something for you to be unavailable for three days."

Walking through the house, Caleb noticed Ryan sprawled out on the couch, looking sweaty with a bucket next to his head.

"Is he not well?" Caleb asked turning to his daughter with a look of concern on his face.

"Let's go in the other room Dad, I don't want to wake him."

Once in the den Caleb demanded to know what was going on in his usual unsympathetic state.

"Dad, Ryan is…struggling to cope with what's going on right now."

"And that made him sick?"

"No, that gave him the idea to get drunk…to stop the pain he's feeling."

"Pain?"

"He's scared Dad. You don't know much about Ryan, but this hearing that's pending for Monday is truly upsetting him. He doesn't want to go back to his Mother."

Caleb thought for a moment before admitting a confession to Kirsten.

"Ki Ki…I…I talked to the Judge…about Ryan."

A look of alarm consumed Kirsten's face. "If you did anything to ruin his chances of being a part of this family I will never speak to you again. How could you do this? Do you have any idea what that kid has been through?"

"It was my idea."

Whirling around Kirsten gaped at her husband. "Sandy? What are you saying?" Kirsten's voice was barely strong enough to leave her mouth. "Are you…are you changing your mind?"

"No, not at all. I want Ryan here more than anything. Caleb has gone in front of Judge Whitney on many occasions and I asked him to feel her out, see if we could find out which way she was leaning on the case."

"What if this ruins it for Ryan?"

"It won't," Caleb interrupted. "I simply told the Judge that the boy has brought great joy to my daughter and her family and that she should look into his DCFS files prior to making any decisions on the case. I told her the boy deserves a new chance to build his life. That's it. I didn't give her specifics."

Kirsten sat down on the couch just as Ryan started heaving again in the other room.

"I'll check on him," she said, standing back up immediately. "I suddenly understand Ryan's need to be numb," she muttered under her breath.

In the living room, Kirsten rubbed Ryan's back. He'd been sick on and off all morning but he'd finally reached the point where his body was trying to empty a part of him that had nearly nothing left to give. Ryan's voice was hoarse and he was weak.

When he finally laid back down, "You okay Ryan?"

"Just great."

"I'm going to run and rinse this out, I'll be right back."

"Take the other one with you," Ryan requested with his arm over his face.

Checking the other bucket, "You mean…you actually…"

"Do not…talk about it…ever. Just…make it disappear before Seth wakes up."

Nodding in agreement, even though she knew Ryan wasn't looking at her, "You're right. Let's get rid of this."

It didn't take long and Kirsten returned with a single bucket and put it next to Ryan's head again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Embarrassed. Angry. Humiliated."

"Don't be so hard on yourself Ryan. You did what you had to and if you had to go, you had to…"

"It's not that!" Ryan snapped, irritated. "I let her get to me. I let her get inside my head," he paused. "I let her make me doubt everything I learned here. I'm angry with myself for that. I know better than to let my Mom get the upper hand. It's part of her game and I know better."

"With everything you've been through Ryan…it's a lot for anyone to handle."

"I'm not just anyone. I've dealt with this all my life. I know her better than anyone. I just wish Monday was over and I knew if the Judge was letting me stay. I could get on with my life, get back to school…maybe meet some girls."

"Girls? As in plural?" Kirsten commented jokingly, bringing a smile to Ryan's face.

"Yeah, why not?" he asked innocently.

Laughing, "Well, there's nothing I'd like better than to see you back to being a normal teenager…a careful, responsible teenager."

"I give you credit for not using the word 'abstaining' in your sentence," Ryan mocked.

"Just go easy on me in the beginning, no more than three girls at a time okay?" Kirsten joked back.

"Weird huh?"

"What's that?"

Ryan thought for a moment, "We're sitting here joking about the future as if I'm staying."

Not willing to let the good mood turn sour, "They say a Mother's instinct is quite accurate and mine's telling me you'll be here to go back to school next week…meet some girls…maybe get into a little bit of trouble."

"If there's girls involved, there's definitely going to be a little bit of trouble," he smirked. "I really want to stay. I hope you're right."

"Me too. In the meantime, how about some coffee?"

Ryan winced.

"I know you're still feeling sick honey, but you're going to get dehydrated. You were really sick this morning."

"Can I just have a glass of water for now? At least that doesn't have a smell," Ryan grimaced.

"Good point. Water it is. When you feel up to it, we can move you to the den so you can watch some TV. I know it's boring in here."

"It's okay. I don't mind. At least it's quiet, my head appreciates that right now."

The sound of Seth bounding down the stairs ended their conversation.

"So much for the quiet."

TBC…

Extra points to Jenskyies for guessing Ryan might be in the kitchen: D

Y'all have me laughing with the reviews desperately wanting to beat the living daylights out of Dawn! LOL! God that's cracking me up! LOL!

Another warning…Finale is lurking! And then there were two…two chapters remaining that is! (Wrings hands): D We want to end this one on a respectable note and this "chapter" (or section) of Ryan's life is coming to an end. Cheer up though…there's a good chance you'll get more Ryan adventures in a sequel! (Wink wink): D


	27. Embracing the Truth

Bad Behavior Chapter 27

Embracing the Truth

"Uh oh, the mop bucket is next to your head. What happened? Was it that thing you ate at the pier? My Mom didn't cook last night so I know it wasn't that."

"Seth!"

"History speaks for itself Mom. So I still don't know what happened to him."

"Ryan decided to help himself to a drink last night. Make that nearly a whole bottle of drinks," Kirsten explained, giving Ryan the Motherly eyes that said 'don't do that again'.

"Ryan…you got drunk again? And I missed it!" Seth complained with disappointment. "Where did you get it from? How much did you drink?"

Ryan shrugged, unimpressed with his own accomplishment. "It was in the kitchen cabinet…and I drank three-quarters of the bottle by myself. If you feel left out, stick around, I'll probably puke again."

Seth's mouth dropped open. "Holy Moses Ryan!"

"Yeah well, it was a good idea at the time. I'm hurting today."

"So here's the deal guys," Kirsten interrupted. "Ryan, whether you like it or not, you're to make sure either Sandy or I know where you are at all times. If you leave the house for any reason, you will take Seth will you."

"You're going to make me baby-sit Ryan?"

"Yes.

"Mom, that's a little…"

"I don't care." The strength behind her comment had the boys looking at each other. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do to keep you boys safe. Ryan is taxed out from stress. He needs us."

Realizing what his Mom was getting at, Seth nodded and looked at Ryan, who lay silent on the couch. They were doing it again. He'd put them through the wringer and here they were, standing by his side, seeing this mess through to the end.

"I won't get into any more trouble," Ryan finally voiced.

Kirsten took a deep breath before walking over and tousling Ryan's hair. "I love you Ryan and I want to believe you more than words can say, but we're down to the deadline now and after last night…you're going to have to prove it to me."

Ryan swallowed hard and let his eyes come to rest on his hands on his chest. This wasn't a reprimanding but it felt like it. This felt like the day he showed Kirsten the open condom wrapper. He had broken her spirit and he'd let her down. Difference was, she wasn't backing down this time. This time she was laying down the law and damn it, it was going to be her way or else. Ryan was surprised to find himself welcoming the protectiveness of her actions. It was time to turn things around. Ryan always prided himself on his toughness and the Cohens were right…he'd abandoned it when he needed it the most. The next few days would be rough but he could do it. After all, what was the alternative? Letting his Mother win? He felt the fire inside him growing. Motivation was back!

Ryan had spent most of the day either sleeping or puking. He wasn't sure what brand that whiskey was, then again, maybe it was the fact that he downed nearly the entire bottle by himself, but even he was amazed at how sick he'd gotten from that little idea of his.

Sandy had blown up the airbed and put it at the foot of Seth's bed. Sleeping alone in the pool house would be off limits until after the hearing. He didn't blame them for not trusting him. Once again he seemed to go out of his way to give them every reason to think that way. Even Seth had threatened Ryan with his own ramifications should he try to disappear again.

Taking Seth's warning with a grain of salt, Ryan went to bed as planned. When he woke up during the night in need of the bathroom however, he found it much more difficult to navigate Seth's room in the dark than he thought it would be. As he neared the door, his foot landed on something unstable and before he knew it, his foot came out from under him and he crashed against the wall, waking the entire house.

"I knew it! I knew it!" Seth exclaimed, flipping on the bedroom light. "Ha! BUSTED!"

"What happened?" Sandy yelled bursting through the door with Kirsten right on his heels.

"He got caught in a Seth Cohen special!" Seth bragged.

"A what?" Sandy tried to clarify, still half asleep.

"Actually I think he just tripped on my skateboard," Seth admitted honestly as everyone looked down at Ryan, still rubbing his head and sitting against the wall with the skateboard between his legs.

"Ryan? Honey?" Kirsten asked curiously peeking over Sandy's shoulder.

"I just wanted to go to the bathroom. His room was dark, I couldn't see anything," he admitted, embarrassed and slightly pissed off.

"Okay everyone let's get back to bed. Ryan, go ahead and do what you need to do."

"Dad what if he runs?"

"He's fine Seth. Leave him alone."

Taking Sandy's comment as his cue, Ryan stood up and padded down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind him.

"Did you put that skateboard in front of your door on purpose?" Sandy whispered.

"Of course I did. I knew he wouldn't see it and you know me, I sleep like a baby. I needed something that would wake me up if he tried to get out."

"Good idea," Sandy agreed.

"He could've really gotten hurt," Kirsten commented realistically.

"Honey, he needs to know that we're watching…always."

"I thought everyone was supposed to go back to bed," Ryan lectured to the powwow in the doorway.

"Right. Yes. We are."

"I know you guys are watching every move I make right now, I get that. You guys have shown me what it's like to be strong, I only knew how to be tough and it's not the same thing." Everyone was quiet and Ryan had about had his fill of intense moments. "I just want you to know I'm really trying. Hell it's almost three a.m. and I even remembered to put the seat down."

The wise crack got a laugh out of Kirsten and even Sandy started snickering a bit.

"Ryan buddy, don't do that, it makes the rest of us look bad," Seth said.

"Alright, come on, everyone back to bed. It's late and tomorrow we have a full day tomorrow."

Once the house was back to being quiet and all the lights were turned out, "Hey Ryan?"

"What?"

"Where you seriously only going to the bathroom…or…were you…"

"Seriously, I was only going to the bathroom."

"You sure?"

Ryan opened his eyes in the dark. "I promised you I wouldn't leave again without telling you right?"

"Right."

"Have I said anything since that day on the pier?"

"No."

"Then I'm not going anywhere…Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yeah…Hey Ryan?"

"What…Seth," Ryan replied, getting cranky.

"Thanks."

"Ryan, stop squirming. Let me fix your collar," Kirsten fussed.

"You know I hate being dressed like this," Ryan complained.

"I know but look at the bright side, going to the gala today will get you out of the house for a while."

"Can I get a drink from the bar?"

Cocking her head to the side, Kirsten put her hands on her hips. "No, absolutely not. You will get all your drinks through Sandy or I. NO alcohol. I mean it."

"Just checking."

Suspicious of his question, "Did you get drinks at the other parties?"

"Yeah usually. It's a party right?" he smiled smugly.

Kirsten couldn't help but smirk at his 'teenager-ness'. "No drinks today. I would prefer you didn't drink until you were the proper age, but for now I'll settle for you just staying clean and coherent through Monday. It's only two more days Ryan."

"Just so you know…if you don't want me to drink…don't bring up Monday."

Flipping through report after report, Judge Whitney sat on her couch buried in paperwork. Even she was disgusted with the red tape the system put out, the same system she lived and breathed.

Caleb Nichol was right. This case was worth a deeper look. Ryan Atwood indeed had a past that went deeper than his juvie record. She could pretty much make up his life, at least the last eight years of it, from the skeleton of information laying all around her.

After reading through yet another report, "This woman knows how to use the system," she said out loud, stroking her cat. "She knows where the loopholes are. She's not the dumb drunk she comes off to be." Sorting through more forms, she came across an old photo of Ryan. He was about eleven years old and was posing to demonstrate a head injury. His Mother had smashed him in the head with a beer bottle and he took eight stitches right next to his hairline. She looked at Ryan's eyes. They were empty. Just empty. "What has she done to you Ryan? Her days of fooling the system are over."

Her thoughts were interrupted by the telephone. "Hello?…Steven yes it's good to hear from you…Yes, I've got his files in front of me. Did you…really? What about the foster family? I see. And what about the school?…So he's actually in more difficult courses here in Newport and he's not only going to class but he's doing the work? Good boy. What about the Mother?…You don't say? How did I know that was coming? This one knows how to work the system…she joined AA, so what? Let her join. She doesn't know I'm on to her. She's got a lifetime of neglect where her son is concerned. It's a miracle he's not dead or serving some serious time. The hearing is Monday. We don't have much time on this one. I'm starting to think it's time someone cut this kid some slack. Unless Mrs. Atwood pulls a miracle out of her hat on Monday…Yeah I know. Problem is the kid doesn't want to go to her. I've already seen that part of it. (Sigh). Well thanks for doing this for me. I appreciate it and I'll owe you one…Bye."

Clicking off the receiver, she slid the phone onto her coffee table and began gathering up all of the files and papers regarding Ryan's case. "And to think this all started with a cup of coffee with Caleb Nichol. Aye-yi-yi. Well, Mr. Atwood, you've got my undivided attention. I'll see you in court."

Ryan sat at the table and behaved like the little angel he was supposed to be. He ate his dinner, he was polite to other guests that came to the table, and that included big mouth Evelyn. The Cohens had done a damn good job of flanking him. He was never alone at the table and even a trip to the men's room had Sandy waiting in the hallway, just in case. They didn't make a big deal out of it, but they were doing what they had to do, they were doing what they told him they would do. It wasn't so bad. Part of him was pathetically enjoying being fussed over.

"Alright, where did those guys go?"

Kirsten's comment snapped Ryan out of his daydreaming. "What?"

"Sandy, Seth, where did they wander off to?"

Ryan shrugged. "Probably just wandering around checking out the party. Why?"

"I could use some coffee, but it can wait."

"I'd offer but…"

"Nice try but you're staying right here."

They shared a smile just as Caleb walked up to the table.

"Ki Ki, you look tired…Ryan…you look bored."

"I think he's past bored Dad. Say, would you mind keeping Ryan company for a minute? I'm going to go grab some coffee." She could feel Ryan shooting daggers at her. "I'll come right back. I promise."

"I think we just got saddled together," Caleb observed, sitting down.

"I think you're right," Ryan complained.

"So, since we're stuck together…tell me something about yourself. I know you're a rather guarded person, but, there's gotta be something you wouldn't mind sharing."

Great. Just what Ryan needed. A bonding session with the last person on earth he'd want to bond with. "There's really nothing to tell. You know my story already."

"I know your story as told through other people. They weren't your words, your version."

Ryan continued to focus on the tablecloth, ignoring Caleb with the hopeful intent of the conversation being dropped.

"Why did you do it? The first one, the Mustang…why did you take it?"

Jarred back into the unwelcome topic, Ryan was blown away at the old man's comment. "I see someone's been doing their homework."

"I'm just wondering, what's the draw? I suppose there's got to be some excitement behind it for you to do it more than once."

Ryan kept his cool. He showed no sign of offering any explanations. He wanted to feel the old man out, see how far he'd go with this…or where he was going with it for that matter.

"What about the burn? Did you Mother really burn you with an iron?"

Ryan's heart stopped dead in its tracks. When he didn't answer, Caleb turned around to face him, nodding in the process. Ryan's lack of an answer had confirmed the question.

"It was just a curling iron," Ryan mumbled so quietly, if Caleb hadn't been looking at him, he wouldn't have even heard it.

"You say that as if one is forgivable and one isn't. I want to show you something." Caleb stood up and removed his suit coat. After unbuttoning the cuff on his right wrist, he sat down in front of Ryan and rolled up his sleeve. "See this?" he asked, revealing a quarter-sized scar on his forearm. "My Father did that to me with his cigar. I had embarrassed him in front of some important people. He grabbed my arm to walk me aside, give me a talking to, and that's when I got burned."

Ryan was confused. He knew Caleb was hard to read but he didn't have a clue what to make of this.

"Now I'm not going to pretend to have been an abused child, I wasn't. This was an isolated incident, an accident. My Father regretted it the minute it occurred. I can't even imagine what your childhood must have been like. This one incident changed me forever. It changed how I looked at people, at situations. It had a lot to do with turning me into the bastard I am today. Don't let that happen to you. Don't let anyone turn you into something you're not. I knew that day I met you in the kitchen that you were different. You weren't afraid, you didn't back down, you held your ground. If you take that and apply it elsewhere in your life, there's nothing that can hold you back."

With his heart still pounding, Ryan's eyes darted across the table, his mind flooded with this latest onset of information. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine why the old man had admitted this to him. So far it wasn't making sense. So what? So Caleb had one bad fight with his Father, Ryan had a lifetime of anger and fighting and abuse. He could run circles around Caleb's story any day. But something inside him still wondered what else would come out. Taking a chance, he put something out there for Caleb.

"A bet."

"Excuse me?"

"The Mustang I stole. That was my first car. It was on a bet."

"What do you do with them after you have them?"

"You looking to change careers or something?" Ryan mocked.

"Of course not. I never did anything like that. I never crossed the lines."

And there it was, Ryan's gateway to getting the upper hand.

"You may have never crossed them, but you're sure good at blurring them. You're not the only one that's been doing their homework. You're exactly like me," Ryan trumped, grabbing Caleb's attention. "Sure I'm street thug, I can do a lot of damage in a short amount of time. Give me twenty-four hours and I can have you picking up the pieces of your life making you wonder what hit you. That's the only difference between you and me. I know what I am, I admit to it. It's out there and everyone else can see it. You're just as manipulative and deceptive and controlling as I am. The only difference is you bury it in paperwork. You go under the table, behind people's backs. In a twisted sense, I'm honest and in your face. You stay in the shadows, like a coward. If I'm coming after you, you'll know it. That's the only thing separating me and you."

A smug grin lit up Caleb's face. "Then I guess we know better than to cross each other."

"Guess so. What do you want from me?" Ryan asked point blank.

"I want you to be good to my family and I want you to get your life together. You're a powerful young man, more powerful than you realize. Men like us Ryan, we're only destined for greatness and that's because we won't settle for anything less."

'There he goes again', Ryan thought to himself. Why was he doing this?

"Don't believe me do you?" Ryan's face answered for him. "Look how far you've come already. You got yourself out of Chino, you got your life on track so far…sure you've hit some bumps and you've done some stupid things in an attempt to find your place in this family but you're still here and you're still fighting."

"I'm here because Sandy took me out of Juvie. I didn't have a choice."

"Let me get out my violin and play something depressing for you. Don't pretend for one second that their rules have you tied down. You've run away twice and the only reason you're still here is because you chose to come back. There's nothing keeping you here but your own free will. A boy with your resources, your street smarts, could disappear in the blink of an eye."

Damn it if Caleb wasn't turning out to be quite a bit like Sandy, and Sandy was often right were Ryan was concerned.

"So now what?" Ryan asked, shrugging at Caleb.

"Now you do what you're told and get yourself through Monday. Everything will fall into place after Monday morning."

Leaning forward, Ryan got closer to Caleb. "You talked to the Judge, didn't you?" Holding his breath Ryan waited impatiently for the answer.

Caleb on the other hand took his sweet time, sipping his Merlot and glancing around the party.

"Answer me," Ryan demanded.

"I think you would do well here Ryan. I merely told the Judge the same thing."

"What did she say?" Ryan breathed, trying to restrain the hope in his voice.

"She didn't. Whether you believe it or not, that's actually a good thing."

Ryan offered a weak smile to Caleb just as Kirsten intruded on their conversation.

"Alright, here we go…Ryan, here's some more soda for you, Dad, more Merlot for you and, some coffee for me. So what did I miss? You haven't killed each other yet so I take it that's a good sign."

"Turns out Ryan and I have quite a bit in common," her Father offered.

"Oh?"

"That's right. Neither of us are men to be trifled with," he joked, flashing back to their conversation in the kitchen during their first meeting. Raising his eyebrows he clanked his glass of Merlot against Ryan's Mountain Dew. The comment and gesture combo made Ryan smile and stifle a laugh. Maybe the old man was on his side after all. Maybe this was a sign of things to come. Maybe…

Dawn sat on her couch analyzing all the wadded up pieces of notebook paper on the floor. She'd spent all day trying to get her thoughts down on paper, but who was she kidding? She was an Atwood and words just weren't their thing. Every time she'd start writing, something else would come to mind. Something that should have been added, something that should have been worded differently…something that should have been written from the heart, rather than just for the sake of putting it down on paper.

She couldn't help but shake her head at the thought of all the people that go to therapy. This was frustrating her more than anything and to think some people paid for this seemed so ridiculous.

She looked over at her end table next to her and once again took in the last photo taken of her family. Suddenly her thoughts seemed to come together. They made sense. Putting her pen to the paper she scribbled feverishly. She wanted to get it all down before she lost her train of thought again. Damn all the drinking she'd done over the years, it made it impossible to hold a thought in her head. Sure enough, her reflections would scatter like ashes in the wind and it took time for her to regroup. It didn't take long, though, for her to realize she regrouped a lot faster when she'd look at the photo of her family.

Hours went by and she kept writing and scratching out and remembering and forgetting, wadding up papers and starting over again. This was one thing she had to get right. This time, it mattered. It had to be perfect. As the midnight hour approached, her body craved the sour taste from the bottle it was trained to receive on a daily basis. But not tonight, and definitely not now. She was going to finish this. One way or another, she was going to finish what she started. For once in her life, as hard as it was to resist, the bottle would have to wait.

TBC…

GASP! The next chapter is the FINALE! What will happen to Ryan? To the Cohens? To Dawn? Will there be a happy ending or will Ryan's life follow it's typical disappointing path and force him to return to Chino? All will be answered when the finale hits a computer screen near you. (Get the Kleenex ready!): D


	28. To Ryan, With Love

Kleenex Alert! Don't say I didn't warn ya: D

Bad Behavior – Finale

To Ryan, With Love…

Ryan felt like his chest was going to explode. Yanking off his tie and suit coat, his dress shirt followed shortly after. He looked at the clothing lying crumpled on his bed. He had no idea the morning of his hearing would be this tough. He expected it to be bad, but this was ridiculous.

"Ryan, are you ready to…go?" Sandy got the answer to his question with one quick look at Ryan. "What's wrong?"

Ryan was audibly breathing nervously, "I can't do this. I can't go. I thought I could…I wanted to. But, if she says…if she says I have to go back…I don't think I can handle that."

"Ryan, it's your hearing. You have to go."

"I can't. You're my attorney, can't you go as my representative?"

Sandy was disappointed in Ryan's decision. "Are you sure this is what you want? Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

Shaking his head, Ryan looked to the floor. "I don't want to see her any sooner than I have to. Just, when the Judge gives her verdict, when it's over, tell my Mom I said I hope it was worth it."

"Ryan, this thing isn't over until it's over."

"I know. I know everyone is keeping their chins up and I tried to, but now that today's here…" his mouth moved but no words followed.

Nodding, "I understand Ryan." Sandy sighed deeply. "I'm worried about you. You know I have to leave Seth here with you."

Snorting a laugh, "It's okay. I just…if this is my last day here, I kind of want to spend it here, not at court."

"Please promise me you won't do anything stupid, and I mean 'anything' stupid."

Nodding, "I promise."

Giving Ryan a hug, "Stay strong Ryan. We'll get home as soon as we can. The hearing should be very short. Everything has already been turned in and reviewed. Today is just the decision. Go hang out with Seth. Have some fun."

Taking a deep breath at Sandy's words, Ryan nodded again. He was doing a lot of nodding this morning since nerves had the best of him. He knew the next few hours were going to last an eternity.

Dawn sat in her seat chewing her nails, even though at this point there was nothing left to chew. She hated being in court. She pulled her sweat jacket back onto her shoulder as she watched Sandy and Kirsten step into the courtroom. They were impeccable. Both dressed in suits, both with their game faces on, both prepared for battle. Dawn dropped her eyes down to her torn jeans and once again she clutched her sweat jacket close to her. Sandy pulled several files out of his briefcase, copies of the information he'd disclosed to the Judge no doubt. All Dawn brought with her was a single letter sized envelope.

"All rise," the Bailiff called.

"Good Morning…Mr. And Mrs. Cohen…Mrs. Atwood," the Judge paused. "Is it just me or is someone important missing?" she asked a bit perturbed.

Clearing his throat, "Yes Your Honor, Ryan is not here. As his attorney and foster parent, I will be representing him."

Dawn became even more nervous than she was thirty seconds ago and she glanced around the courtroom in a panic. Ryan was nowhere to be found.

"And why isn't he here today?" the Judge pressed, unhappy with Ryan's absence.

"Your Honor, Ryan was extremely nervous about the outcome of today's hearing. He's grown rather close to his foster brother and he said if it turned out that today was going to be his last day in Newport, he wanted to spend it with him. As his foster parents, and under the circumstances, we allowed it."

"So you do know where he is and that pending the outcome of this hearing, you may have to relinquish custody of him?"

"Yes Ma'am. We understand and so does Ryan."

"Very well…let's get started…"

It had been exactly two hours and forty-five minutes since the Cohens left for the courthouse and Ryan had spent the entire time alone in his old room. When he heard the patio door shut, he froze and watched Sandy and Kirsten walk across the patio. Their body language and facial expressions didn't offer any comfort.

Ryan was visibly nervous when they entered the pool house. So much had happened recently he could only imagine they were bringing more bad news. Standing up, he felt his stomach tighten when he saw the yellow envelope in Sandy's hands…his court papers. This was it. It would all come down to this moment. Either his future was with the Cohens, or he was heading back to Chino and his life was going nowhere. He'd learned how to have hope being with the Cohens. Hope wasn't a word used in Chino. There was just no point in it. As much as he hoped the envelope contained the right documents with the right signatures, he was an Atwood after all, and things of this magnitude never had a happy ending.

"So," Sandy started. "This is what we've been waiting for. In this envelope…"

"Sandy just…" Ryan's nerves got the best of him and he looked away from his foster parents before dropping his head to the floor to hide his emotions. "Just say it." His chest rose and fell with each deep breath he tried to control. "There's no need to dance around it. I…I appreciate everything you guys did for me, and everything you taught me. My time here was…the best of my life so far. I won't forget either of you." His voice squeaked with disappointment even though he tried to stay strong.

Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a look. "Ryan, I don't know that I can just blurt it out like that I mean…this is the rest of your life we're talking about."

"I already know what it says. Just…just get it over with." Raising his head, Ryan's eyes locked on the envelope, tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't want this. He didn't want to leave and he certainly didn't want to go back to life in Chino. But this was it. He knew it. His time here was over.

"Well…okay," Sandy hesitated with a straight face. "I'll do it any way you want." Releasing the clip on the envelope, he opened it and retrieved the papers inside. He stared at them for a moment before exchanging another look with Kirsten. A small groan escaped from Ryan as a result of trying to control his emotions. He held his breath when Sandy started speaking. "It says here, according to the State of California…you're stuck with us."

Ryan's eyes darted back and forth across the floor trying to comprehend the words. After blinking several more times, he looked up at Sandy. "What?"

Sandy and Kirsten both offered gentle smiles. "It's official Ryan. You're staying here with us, for good this time. You're Mom signed the papers this morning."

"Oh my God. I don't believe it. I thought for sure…" his words faded.

"I admit kid, until we got to court this morning, we didn't know either. Your Mom ended the hearing before it began telling the Judge this was the right thing to do. She said she'd never seen you this happy."

Kirsten crossed the room and put her arms around Ryan whose emotions finally ran rampant after the stress of the previous few weeks. He held onto her hard…and he cried. Stroking his back, "Oh my sweet boy. There's nothing but good things to come. We're so happy you're part of our family. We love you."

Ryan maintained his grip on Kirsten, he wasn't ready to let go. "I love you too."

The words came naturally. They weren't forced or fake. When Ryan did finally let go of Kirsten, her face was as soaked with tears of happiness as his was from relief and happiness. They laughed at each other in spite of themselves.

Turning to Sandy, "I should be calling you names for messing with me like that."

"I know. I couldn't resist. I knew you'd forgive me once I gave you the answer." Sandy reached forward and gave Ryan a solid hug. "Welcome home son."

"Can I come in yet?" Seth screamed from the patio.

"Ah, a call from the wild," Sandy joked, releasing Ryan. "Yeah, come on in."

"RYAN! DUDE! You're staying!" Seth took a running embrace at Ryan that nearly knocked him over.

"Seth, don't break him," Sandy joked again.

Pulling away from Ryan, "Oh my God, you're…crying," Seth observed, realizing he'd never seen Ryan cry before.

"You're Dad poked me in the eye and your Mom's wearing that perfume that bothers me so…"

"You are still such a lying S.O.B.," Seth mocked. "Why can't you just admit it's because you just inherited a really cool, kick ass brother and you're happy?"

Ryan laughed and gave a sheepish nod, "Yeah that might have something to do with it."

"We need to celebrate. Mother, can you make the appropriate arrangements?" Seth delegated.

"Absolutely. I'll get right on it."

"Wait," Ryan said, halting all the plans. "Before we do that, there's something I need to do."

The Cohens looked at Ryan, lost, unable to imagine what could be so important that it had to be done right now.

"This is going to be a little weird, but I think it's the right time for this. And Seth, you can stay for this, only if you promise me you won't bring any of this up again after we leave this room. You'll understand when I'm done."

"Okay. Sure," Seth nodded and shrugged.

Ryan nervously shoved his hands in his pockets. "There's really no way I can repay all of you. I know you'd say you don't want anything, but…there is one thing I can give you guys."

Ryan stood still for a moment as if he was contemplating whether or not to go through with his gesture.

"Ryan, you really don't have to…"

"Yes I do."

Turning his back to the Cohens, he crossed his room and stepped up onto the walk leading to the bathroom. Turning momentarily, he glanced at the Cohens before returning his attention to the painting on the wall. Sliding his hand behind it, he gently removed something.

All three Cohens looked at each other on the opposite side of the room and shrugged their shoulders. No one knew what this was about.

With the item hidden in his right hand he crossed the room back to his new family where he stood silent again. Now everyone was curious about the mystery item and no one was going to suggest 'not' showing it off.

"When Kirsten took me back in, I told her I had some stuff that I would get rid of. Stuff I didn't give her at that time or even tell her about. I got rid of everything but this."

He opened his palm to reveal a switchblade. Putting pressure in just the right place, the blade shot out from the leather handle. Ryan held the blade in his fingers and, extending his arm, he handed the worn leather handle end to Sandy. Confused, Sandy accepted the item. When the knife left Ryan's hand, he put his hands back in his pockets.

"That knife has a lot of history. I've used that knife to do things…things I promised you I wouldn't do anymore. Back in Chino, I did what I had to. I haven't used that knife since I came here…but I held onto it incase I went back to Chino. I guess you could say I can't live without it in Chino. But I don't need it here and I don't want it anymore. I want to forget that part of my life ever existed."

"Jesus Ryan," Seth said quietly. "I thought you were gonna show us a gun or something. It's only a knife."

"A knife is just as good as a gun. You can break windows or unlock them, you can pick locks, you can cut wires, start cars…you can really hurt someone if you have to."

Seth's eyes got as big as saucers. "You mean you've…you've…"

"I've never killed anyone if that's what you're asking me. Have I ever cut anyone? Yeah, I have," Ryan answered quietly. "I haven't hurt anyone in a long time though…and I don't ever want to do it again. I'm not admitting this to scare anyone. Never at any time did I ever think about hurting any of you. I held onto that blade incase I got sent back to Chino. But now, since I'm staying," his voice paused. "It's just…it's the only thing I have to make you realize how much it means to me, that you took me in and got me away from that life," Ryan acknowledged, nodding towards the knife. "Doing this is the only way I know of to prove to you that I won't go back to that life."

"We're very proud of you. Thank you Ryan," Sandy commented, looking down at the knife and closing the blade. He knew that was huge for Ryan. The gesture wouldn't have made a lot of sense to most people, but to the Cohens, it made perfect sense.

"Um, one more thing while we're being all serious," Kirsten added. "Ryan, this is for you. It's from your Mom," she explained, holding out an envelope to Ryan. "She said it's very important and that you should read it when you're alone."

Gingerly Ryan reached for the envelope. Looking at his name scribbled across the front he tapped the envelope against his other hand.

"You gonna read it?" Seth asked.

Nodding, "Maybe I could meet you guys in the house in a few minutes?"

"Sounds like a plan," Sandy agreed, ushering the rest of his family out of the pool house. When he and Ryan were the only two left, "Ryan, take your time. We'll be inside if you need anything."

Nodding again, "Thanks." Closing the door behind him, Ryan watched Sandy go into the main house and start talking to Seth and Kirsten. By the excitement through the window, Ryan imagined they were already making plans for a celebration.

He looked down at the envelope and noticed his hands were shaking. Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he took a deep breath and decided to get it over with.

Cautiously he opened the edge and pulled out the folded notebook paper inside. A second sheet of paper turned out to be a folded copy of his birth certificate and inside the folds was a photo of him on his Big Wheel. He recognized the photo right away. His Grandmother had taken it on one of his visits to her house and she had displayed it in her living room for as long as Ryan could remember. The photo showed him about five years old, sitting on his Big Wheel with a popsicle in one hand and a big smile on his face. A childhood photo of him happy…he was surprised his Mother had not only retrieved it, but also surrendered it.

Realizing the contents of the note might not be as vicious as he had prepared for, he turned his attention to the letter. Opening it, he began to read…

_Dearest Ryan, _

_Today is the hardest day of my life. Today is the day I let you go. It took your absence for me to realize a lot of things…things that are too late for me to change. There are things that I've already ruined, people that I've already ruined. I don't want to ruin things any more. I don't want to hurt you any more. _

_Your foster parents are good people. I might even dare to say they love you more than I do because, like good parents, they are willing to do whatever it takes to raise you the way you deserve. I can't give you the life you deserve and I don't want to hold you back. I want you to grow up and be someone you're proud of._

_I want to make sure you understand what I'm saying…I'm not letting you go because I don't want you. I'm letting you go because I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know. When the court said I had to decide, I knew letting you go was best for you but I was afraid to do it. Afraid I'd never hear from you again. Afraid I'd never see you again. Mostly knowing because I don't deserve to be a part of your life any more. But I realize now that some spirits can't be contained. Some spirits are meant to be free…that's you Ryan._

_I hope you're life becomes everything you want it to be. At night when the stars are out, I will look up and find the brightest one and know that's your star and it's so bright because you're happy. You're out there somewhere and you're smiling. That's what I want for you. _

_I'm proud of you for being so strong, for wanting more for your life. You're already so much more than I could ever have dreamed. _

_I love you Ryan and I miss you dearly. Stay sweet and enjoy your life. _

_With all my heart, I love you, _

_Mom_

It wasn't until Ryan finished reading that he noticed he was sobbing at his Mother's words, words he never expected to come from her. She let him go because she loved him. He didn't realize how important it was for him to hear that. That was the final phase. He knew now that everything was the way it was supposed to be. He folded up the letter, now damp with several of his tears, and put it back in the envelope. He folded his arms across his chest, sniffled back the tears and allowed a smile to flicker across his mouth.

Just as the last of the tension was leaving Ryan's body, there was a knock on his door.

"Come in," he garbled in a low voice.

"I know I told you to take your time, I'm just checking to make sure…"

"It's fine," Ryan said standing up and walking over to Sandy. Wiping his eyes, "For the first time in my life, everything is fine. Everything is the way it should be. She said…she said she let me go because she loved me." Ryan's chin trembled. "She's never said that to me before."

Stepping forward, Sandy embraced Ryan and held him tight. And Ryan hugged back just as tight. "I'm glad to hear that Ryan. I'm glad she took the time to tell you that."

Finally pulling away, Ryan continued to sniffle and he wiped his eyes again.

"You know Ryan, you're life here in Newport doesn't change the fact that she's your Mom. If you ever want to go see her or if you ever want her to come here, just say the word."

Ryan nodded with hiccupped breathing. "I know. Maybe…someday when I'm ready for that. Right now I think I'm ready for that celebration."

"Sure thing kid. Why don't you go splash some cool water on your face, it'll freshen you up a bit. Then you name the place and the day is yours."

"I like the sound of that," Ryan admitted. Family life had never looked so good.

It didn't take long at all for Ryan to settle back into every day life in Newport now that he knew he was staying. He was back to school and buried in work. If he wanted to keep on track he had a whole month's worth of schoolwork to catch up on. And with Seth breathing down his next neck every five minutes about not being allowed to fall behind, Ryan knew he'd get caught up as fast as he could, if for no other reason, than to shut Seth up.

It was a week and a half later on a Wednesday evening when Kirsten strolled into the kitchen for a late night snack. She was surprised when Ryan entered the kitchen with a chemistry book in his hand.

"Hey, how's it going?"

"It's going okay," he sighed, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl.

"I thought I heard you say you forgot your chemistry book."

"I did."

"Oh, is that's Seth's book?"

"No, I went back and got it," he gargled, wrestling with a large chunk of apple in his mouth.

"Oh…wait a minute. Ryan's it's nearly eleven o'clock."

"Uh huh."

"Wasn't the school closed up?"

"Uh huh," he replied, contently munching on his apple.

Kirsten's jaw about dropped to the counter. "Please do not tell me you broke into the school to get your chemistry book."

Still chewing a piece of apple, an innocent smile broke out on Ryan's face and that familiar sparkle of mischief twinkled in his eyes.

"Ryan!"

"Hey I warned you a long time ago that some habits would take some time to break," he joked. "Besides, are you really going to get mad at me over getting my chemistry book, just so I can get caught up? It's my book, it's not like I stole something."

"Ryan, you broke into the school!"

"Yeah I did."

Shaking her head, "Please no more breaking into the school. I know what you mean, it's not like you stole cigarettes or something, but…"

"Nah, if I want a cigarette I have to go in your box of tampons."

Gasping, "How did you know that's where I hid them!"

"Hey you're the one that said there were in a place I'd never look! Led me right to 'em!" He smiled again and couldn't help but laugh at Kirsten's flabbergasted face.

"I don't believe it! Dinner dishes…one week for smoking and no…no…I'm too floored right now to come up with a punishment for breaking into the school!"

"You can let me know. I gotta go work on this, it's getting late." With the flick of his eyebrows Ryan turned and jogged up the steps toward the pool house.

Kirsten stood alone in the kitchen and laughed out loud. "That little shit! I can't believe it!" She shook her head smiling. "Truth be told Ryan, if that's the worst you get into now, I think I can handle it."

Dawn poured a bag of tortilla chips into a serving bowl just as her friend, Angie, came into the kitchen.

"Hey Ang, grab the salsa out of the fridge," she requested.

As Angie closed the door, she noticed a new photo of a boy on the front. "Hey, who's this? Nephew or something?"

Wiping her hands on a towel, Dawn crossed the kitchen to be next to her friend.

"No, um, that's my son. That's Ryan."

"That's Ryan!" the friend asked surprised. "My gosh he's all grown up, and what a good looking kid. Is he home?"

Dawn felt a twinge of tightness in her chest. "Um, Ryan's…Ryan's living somewhere else now."

"Oh, I didn't realize. Did he go to live with your Mom?"

"No. He um, he lives with a new family now. We went through some hard times and he…" she was embarrassed to admit the truth, but she continued. "He deserved so much more than what I could give him." Tears welled in her eyes as her friend looked on. "I gave up custody. He has a new family."

"Dawn…I'm…I'm…I don't know what to say," Angie stammered to get out.

With the wave of her hand, "Oh don't you feel bad for me. I brought this on myself. The drugs, the drinking, the abusive boyfriends, I'm the one that drove Ryan away. I know that now. But Ryan, he's doing really well. Kirsten, his new Mom, she sent me a letter with some new pictures of him. He goes to this fancy, private school now and he's taking all these advanced classes. And he loves it according to her. He gets himself up for school every morning and hasn't missed a day. You know they got him to quit smoking? Can you believe it? He's made some new friends and Kirsten says the girls just can't get enough of him…I guess some things never change," she chuckled nervously. "He's a good boy. I'm proud of him. This…this wasn't the place for him. Where he's at now…that's where he belongs. They're good to him Angie. They're really good to him."

"Well then that's a good thing…right?" she asked cautiously.

Smiling with reservation, "Yeah it is."

Angie wrapped her arms around her friend as Dawn continued to open her heart.

"I just hope, maybe some day he can forgive me."

"Do you, I mean, do you miss him?" Angie asked quietly still holding her friend.

"Everyday, and with every bit of my heart."

For whatever reason, Ryan couldn't sleep. After wrestling about for another twenty minutes, he finally gave in and got out of bed. He stepped out onto the patio thinking the fresh air might do him some good. He noticed there was no moon out, that the sky was particularly dark. The pitch-black sky did, however, highlight all the stars in the sky. Turning in the direction of Chino, he remembered his Mother's letter and he located the brightest star in the sky. He couldn't help but wonder if his Mom ever took the time to look at the stars like she said she would. After some thought he realized it didn't matter, she'd given him what he wanted, more importantly, what he needed. For once, she thought of him first. He gave a knowing smile to the star, "Thanks Mom," he whispered. With a nod of satisfaction, he returned to his bed, nestled himself against the scent of fabric softener and drifted off to sleep.

THE END

Even I can't believe it's done! What will I do with my evenings? LOL! For the die-hard fans, don't lose all hope! All the pleading and begging for a prequel/sequel has worked! LOL! But I need a little time to get organized for that. "Bad Behavior" set a standard that we're all accustomed to now…even me! In the mean time it's time for a little break for me to catch up on a few things. But I won't be gone long…I will be back: D

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and support and for embracing my version of "the dark side". : D This was a lot of fun and I'm glad so many of you enjoyed it!

Super Chino : D

"Bad Behavior"

2005


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